Then the playdar went beep..beep

I have single female friend that I've known for the last year and a half. We're pretty comfortable with each other and our kids play together on a regular basis. Over the last year I've had a couple of times when my 'playdar' has given a little bleep with her. Usually by something that she's said or a feeling that there is just something there that I couldn't quite put my finger on. You know what I'm talking about?

Today we went out for coffee and were just talking, usual stuff, and she started talking about wanting to go to an event for a "meet & greet". I haven't been around too much to social events in the vanilla world but I've never heard this term used in any other format than swinging. So I asked her if she'd ever been to a meet and greet before. It might have been the way I said it but her body language and expression was kind of like omg did I say that? She didn't know about K and I and it was a reasonable response.

She's very open minded and our relationship is good so I came out to her that K and I swing and had been to a M&G before. Come to find out that my friend, back in the days before she was married (and subsequently divorced) had led a very 'open' lifestyle. Interesting isn't it? *BEEP* *BEEP*

When I told her that K and I swing and the parameters of our interactions with others she told me she had suspected something of the kind. So I invited her to come out with us some time to the club to enjoy an evening of dancing, a little wine, and (if she met someone she was interested in) a little play. She said she'd like to, just not right now. It's a busy time for everyone and I know that she's got some complications with her ex right now so I left it at an open invite. But that's also why I invited her, a little adult down time is sometimes just what you need.

Her and I both really enjoy and respect our friendship (and that of our boys) and while we briefly discussed the possibility of a play date of the three of us we both decided that it is just that....a possibility. Why screw up a good thing? On the other hand, if our friendship takes a turn in that direction down the road it will (or will not) happen of its own accord.

Evidently her playdar was going "beep beep" too, and thus the little slip. Perhaps subconsciously she wanted to out herselves to you feeling that you would be open to the idea.

I don't really know if I'd call that a slip, almost anyone who would recognize the term would be at least somewhat lifestyle friendly. A true vanilla wouldn't make the connection. Kinda like a code word.

The Mrs and I talked about that a few days ago. We were out for dinner and saw 2 couples at a table across the restaurant. The arrived separately, and based on what little we heard of their conversation were just getting to know each other. Both of our playdars went off, and we were both fairly convinced we were looking at 2 swinging couples doing the "dance".

The next day I commented that perhaps I should have approached them, and asked, "Pardon me folks, do the letters S-L-S mean anything to you?"

Swingers would immediately get it, vanillas would just look at us like we were a bit odd.

Cool exchange!

Does your Playdar really go "Beep Beep"? Because ours sounds more like a vibrator buzzing.

- - - Probably a different manufacturer.

I don't really know if I'd call that a slip, almost anyone who would recognize the term would be at least somewhat lifestyle friendly. A true vanilla wouldn't make the connection. Kinda like a code word.

That was what I thought when she said it. I figured I'd take a chance and see what developed. I guess I'll find out in the days ahead if the topic comes up again.

Boy, you guys sent me to the dictionary to look that one up.

From the Urban Dictionary, Playdar: the radar that detects players almost like a 6th sense.

knb2004 said:

The next day I commented that perhaps I should have approached them, and asked, "Pardon me folks, do the letters S-L-S mean anything to you?"

 

Swingers would immediately get it, vanillas would just look at us like we were a bit odd.

We were at a wine tasting tonight and saw 3 couples that we both found attractive and actually talked to two of them. At one point when we were alone Pet asked me if we should go up to them and ask them if they were members of SLS. I was like "I don't think so". His response was, well if they didn't know what it was, what would it hurt?

The next day I commented that perhaps I should have approached them, and asked, "Pardon me folks, do the letters S-L-S mean anything to you?"

 

Swingers would immediately get it, vanillas would just look at us like we were a bit odd.

That would have been perfect I'll have to remember that if we're ever in a similar situation.

This thread has got me thinking that I need to get some of the SLS mini buttons and wear them to places where my t-shirt isn't appropriate. Then again, this is assuming that people know what the SLS logo is. I mean, not every lifestyle couple is online, let alone an SLS member...

Maybe I'm just to eager to read something into the most innocent of situations, but my playdar goes off at work probably a dozen times a week. I work with the public, and interact with customers constantly. Sometimes during the most innocent,"Howdy! How are you folks doing this evening?" conversation, I get the feeling that this lady, or couple, is looking for more than a couple of drinks to have a good time...

JustAskJulie said:

We were at a wine tasting tonight and saw 3 couples that we both found attractive and actually talked to two of them. At one point when we were alone Pet asked me if we should go up to them and ask them if they were members of SLS. I was like "I don't think so". His response was, well if they didn't know what it was, what would it hurt?

Many fraternities and sororities, other groups have some sort of "High" sign.. whether it be a secret grip when shaking hands or some other tell that would only be known by "brothers" or "sisters" or fellow members of the Lodge/group. I have been thinking that there should be a code or tip off.. why doesn't someone think one up and get it started!

amid said:

.. why doesn't someone think one up and get it started!

Read here for answer: Why don't swingers have their own symbol?

JustAskJulie said:

We were at a wine tasting tonight and saw 3 couples that we both found attractive and actually talked to two of them. At one point when we were alone Pet asked me if we should go up to them and ask them if they were members of SLS. I was like "I don't think so". His response was, well if they didn't know what it was, what would it hurt?

This is exactly how we met a great couple. MrsVan and I where at our favorite bar listening to a band. This couple walked in and as they walked to the bar, all four of us made eye contact. Just your usual bar type and I thought nothing of it. Then it clicked and I realized that I knew them from someplace. I told MrsVan that and she said she didn't recognize them at all. They kept looking at us and smiling and finally after about 10 minutes the husband motions me over. So I went over to them and he was like, I think we "know" you two. At first I played it off like I wasn't sure what he was talking about and then he mentioned something in one of our pictures on a site, that nobody else would have known and well it has been great since then.

I never have been able to just ask someone like that, but I sure was glad that he did...

VanHlebar said:

This is exactly how we met a great couple. MrsVan and I where at our favorite bar listening to a band. This couple walked in and as they walked to the bar, all four of us made eye contact. Just your usual bar type and I thought nothing of it. Then it clicked and I realized that I knew them from someplace. I told MrsVan that and she said she didn't recognize them at all. They kept looking at us and smiling and finally after about 10 minutes the husband motions me over. So I went over to them and he was like, I think we "know" you two. At first I played it off like I wasn't sure what he was talking about and then he mentioned something in one of our pictures on a site, that nobody else would have known and well it has been great since then.

 

I never have been able to just ask someone like that, but I sure was glad that he did...

I think I posted this somewhere (in my blog if nowhere else). I was at the chiropractors office one day this summer and this lady walked in the door and when she saw me she smiled at me like she knew me. She kept looking at me and eventually sat down on the sofa where I was sitting (but on the opposite end). She was there with an older gentleman (that appeared to possibly be her father). So as we are sitting there she slides me a note that says "are you a member of SLS?". I think I turned 30 shades of red when I nodded yes. Then she handed me the note again with her username on it, and it turned out that she was the female half of a couple that we had just been emailing that weekend. Nothing ever panned out of it. I guess that's the downside to having your faces plastered on your profile... they KNOW you, but you may not know them.

You playdar goes beep..beep then you realize it is you gaydar... wires are getting crossed.

JustAskJulie said:

I guess that's the downside to having your faces plastered on your profile... they KNOW you, but you may not know them.

Yeah that is for sure. Since we have our face pics in our public gallery they are there for all to see. We have been out a number of times to eat dinner at one of our steak houses here locally and then received emails from one of the ad sites where couples saw us and then sent us a message. Wish we could see them too

We don't have our faces on our public profiles, but as Julie can probably attest, if meeting us, you know who we are. Now, not to get side tracked on the thread topic. My playdar went off Friday after sitting next to an attractive woman on the flight from Indianapolis. Then our conversation opened up a dozen avenues to confirm. As we were headed to Vegas, were staying at the same hotel, she was meeting her "best friends" for a weekend of partying, well, I wish that I could have been a little more informative to her before the flight landed. But, alas, sitting on her other side was one of my wife's co-workers. I had to be VERY careful that he never suspected a thing! You have to understand that our flights got screwed up and L was flying 1.5 hours behind me on a different flight. I didn't have to be careful because I was worried about L, but that rumors might have gotten started between her co-workers.

Oh yes. There's a couple new to our local theatre group that we've wondered about. His necklace, her plunging necklines... just something. Then today, she walks in with a couple that I know have an open marriage (because the open marriage husband had told someone else that), and I later saw the two couples doing the hug goodbye thing.... hmmmm... Then, later, she referred to her and her husband as "newbies" to the area... hmmmm.....

Not our type, so I'm not planning to broach the subject, but hmmmm......

ncmd_couple said:

We don't have our faces on our public profiles, but as Julie can probably attest, if meeting us, you know who we are.

Actually, as I told your wife at dinner during the Meetup. Your pictures don't do either of you justice and I wouldn't have recognized you from them.

Haha, I thought you recognized us from the grey in my beard.... I don't know what to do about the pics, they are what they are...

Does your Playdar really go "Beep Beep"? Because ours sounds more like a vibrator buzzing.

- - - Probably a different manufacturer.

You must have the "silent" function. My wife's playdar is as accurate as most GPS units; I think mine needs new batteries.

Susan here-- This couple were people we met outside of the Lifestyle due to common interests. One day she said," Some people are just so limited, so 'vanilla'," and I just looked and smiled and said,"Do tell," and she did. That night we're in bed fucking each others husbands. They've been great and we still see them after a year of Play.

However, I doubt that lightning would ever strike twice.

OMG this happened to me today!

I was training a new person at my work (she's probably mid 50's, just normal looking, nice lady). We were talking about macaws and whether they truly mate "for life" and she said "I really feel that humans were not meant to be monogamous." She went on about marriage being a social construct for financial and child rearing, etc.

The way she was talking just made me want to ask "Are you a swinger?" I've never had a playdar so ... maybe I'm developing one? LOL (Of course, I didn't ask!)

Trixie