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What would you have done?

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Let me preface this first by telling you a little about us. We are a married couple with some experience in the lifestyle. We have been with single female before and soft swapped with other couples in the past. We enjoy same room as well. Recently we have decided to try the MFM experiences. We have had only one and it was very good and everyone enjoyed themselves.

 

The other night we were at a party and my wife found a single male she was attracted to. There were several play rooms at the event and we all three adjoined to one of the rooms. There were others engaged in various play scenarios. The wife and her new friend were going at it pretty heavy and I was left to kind of watch which for a while is okay with me, but sooner or later I figured to become an active participant.

 

Here is where things start to get strange.....The room had mulitple people in it and he kept closing the door since he was close to it. Now, I am in the room and don't think all that much of it. The three of us are now involved, but he starts to pull the wife away from me into different positions so that she can't pay attention to me. He is aggressive but not overly rough. I went out of the room to get a bottle of water and the door locked behind me. Now they were the only two in the room. After about 30 minutes and no way to get back in there, I knocked loudly on the door and he opened it. I kicked him out and said party is over get out now!

 

We have decided to never play with single men again because of this. It's couples only or not at all. One bad humiliating experience is enough to never allow it again.

 

How would others have handled it?

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Here is where things start to get strange.....The room had mulitple people in it and he kept closing the door since he was close to it. Now, I am in the room and don't think all that much of it. The three of us are now involved, but he starts to pull the wife away from me into different positions so that she can't pay attention to me. He is aggressive but not overly rough.

 

You did the right thing, but your timing was a bit off. When you felt it had started to go sideways you should have called a halt. Its gotta work for both of you. And, I wouldn't have left her alone with a strange, aggressive guy, particularly one who seemed so bent on closing the door.

 

It sounds like your wife was going right along with this guy. If she knew that this was not the sort of encounter (almost a cuckold scenario) that you were likely to enjoy, then she was over the line. If she didn't know, then you really do need to talk more about what you are each looking for... and to avoid.

 

I am not talking about a totally scripted event. No encounter is going to run to a script... and that's a big part of the excitement.... but there can be some very basic expectations that you can set. The hard part is when those hormones kick in and we are back one step removed from the caves. So keep it simple, and keep it fun. If you're not having fun, just what are you doing?

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We have to agree with the original poster. As soon as a play situation seems to be diverting away from where you are uncomfortable, or you sense that your partner is uncomfortable, it's time to call for a quick timeout. At this point, you should be polite to the others involved, but if they are true lifestlyle people they will understand and not be offended. Everyone should want to make sure that everyone else is comfortable. If not, there is no reason to be playing with them.

 

Now it's up to you whether MFM's are off the table, but that should happen after a long discussion with your wife. In a party situation, one partner can easily get so into the situation that they may not necessarily realize that there is a problem. We are giving your wife the benefit of the doubt there, but only you two will know the real situation after communicating about that scenario and your rules going forward.

 

Good luck.

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Guest screaminggood

I agree with the previous poster. The mistake you made was letting it go too far, several times....when you first felt uncomfortable, IMMEDIATELY after the door was locked--but you did great in the end to get rid of the guy.

 

I am also curious to know how your wife reacted? Did she know he was locking you out?

Also, on behalf of all the great single guys out there, you don't have to give up all MFMs just because of one bad choice. After all, it could have just as easily been a married guy who was ignoring you and his wife in a similar situation. Just learn to be more directive about what you expect and ensure y'all are both comfortable with your playmate choices.

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You did the right thing, but your timing was a bit off.

Yes, you did the right thing but I would have knocked LOUDLY after 5 miutes not 30. Maybe even sooner!!!

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I went out of the room to get a bottle of water and the door locked behind me. Now they were the only two in the room. After about 30 minutes and no way to get back in there, I knocked loudly on the door and he opened it. I kicked him out and said party is over get out now!

 

How would others have handled it?

It sounds like you knew immediately that the door locked behind you. The guy probably didn't know that and figured you could get back in. How was he and your wife to know that you couldn't get back in? Since he opened the door immediately after you began knocking, he did respond appropriately. You led them to think you wanted to leave them alone for 30 minutes. That was the mistake. You gave yourself 30 minutes to reach boiling point and now you blame the guy when I think you're mad at yourself more than anything.

 

I think you're being too hard on this single guy and too hard on yourself. Look at it as a situation that could have been handled differently and learn from it. You can enjoy single guys in the future and have a better outcome with just a few simple guidelines set in place. Communicate to the other male - and your wife - if you want to be more involved in play. Don't let a guy push you aside. And don't leave your wife alone with a guy you aren't comfortable with, as you did this time. These changes can make a big difference in how the play goes.

 

We all have play situations where we can look back and say we fucked up a little and could have handled things differently. Don't let this experience bog you down or fester inside.

 

Welcome to the Board, by the way. I hope you will register so that you can reply to this thread.

 

LM

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I definately wouldn't judge all single guys on this one incident. I've seen similar & worse things happen with couples playing with couples.

 

I'm assuming that since he had been closing the door earlier yet people came in anyway that the door did not lock automatically and therefore he DID know that the door locked behind you. That said, I have to agree with the earlier poster that as soon as you realized the door was locked you should have started knocking to be let back in, rather than waiting a half hour.

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I have unknowingly locked doors in my house. I didn't realize I had locked the door until later when I tried to get into the room. My hand pushed the center button in the knob. This is why I think it could have happened to you if that was all it took to lock the door.

 

The guy may have been closing the door earlier because he didn't want people watching from outside the room or didn't want more people in the room. Did you close the door when you left, or did he? If he did it may have been because he preferred no onlookers or others joining the room.

 

Even if the guy did get up and lock the door after you left, your wife could have objected to it if she wanted to.

 

LM

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The three of us are now involved, but he starts to pull the wife away from me into different positions so that she can't pay attention to me. He is aggressive but not overly rough. I went out of the room to get a bottle of water and the door locked behind me. Now they were the only two in the room. After about 30 minutes and no way to get back in there, I knocked loudly on the door and he opened it. I kicked him out and said party is over get out now

 

I being a woman, would have never let this happen. My husband is ALWAYS in the room, and always with in arms reach. And knowing my husband, you handled this nice compared to what my hub would have done. I think you did the right thing, I do not think that you knew what was going to happen, so you are not at fault, the other guy is. But not all single men are that way. We have been with two couples, and 3 singles, I have much more fun with singles, I have BOTH guys totally interested in me, and I like it. And none of them have tried anything. So just think about it, but just don't leave her alone again, that would be my advice.

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So the original question is "what would you have done?" Echoing the above in general, I wouldnt have allowed myself to get increasingly uncomfortable, then leave to get water, then wait 30 minutes after the door mysteriously locked.

 

We can never know the actual dynamic since none of us were there, but if what you are describing was happening exactly as you explained it (the guy trying to sort of exclude you) I'd have probably called a stop if it started annoying me.

 

What may have happened is, because you started out by watching, the guy maybe figured you were just a voyeur and actually didnt want a 3 way but was tolerating you there since you are the husband.

 

What was the dialogue that lead up to the encounter? Im a very direct kind of guy and a big believer in communication. If you met the guy and said "hey, its your lucky night, we would love for you to join us in a threesome" then the guy is an asshole based on how you describe his behavior. But if there was minimal communication and you just let things flow naturally into that room and started out by purely watching and then tried to jump in, I can see how there could have been a misunderstanding. Did you talk after you called a halt? Did the guy seem surprised and ask what was wrong?

 

My thinking is be clear up front, be clear during and if something goes wrong, be clear :) Never "just figure". "Just figuring" is bad. Sex is emotionally charged under any circumstance. Being very clear before the libido can go off the deep end can keep things from getting unnecessarily dramatic.

 

Certainly dont let this put you off single guys in general. I mean why would it? This guy *may* have been a jerk, but you can run into a bad couple also.

 

Yikes! Just realized how old this thread was before the bump :eek: Well still a good topic anyhow :)

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Coming from a single guy, if I met a couple at a party like that, I wouldn't go into a room with them unless I knew what was expected of me and how everyone would be participating. I have no problem at all with the husband watching or participating, but I would never monopolize the wife or try to keep the husband out of things, especially since I was invited to share in the privilege of joining them. It was a bad move on his behalf, but you really did wait too long to do something about it. For all of the guys out there who aren't like that, I say give it another try.

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Laura and I always believed swinging was for couples, that there was neither a place nor a need for singles. One cannot possibly know what emotions are involved when he is having sex with someone else's wife unless someone is fucking with his wife. The same thing goes for husbands.

 

But to answer the issue here, for every horror story I've heard about couples, I've heard twenty about singles.

 

Stand your ground, Unregistered.

 

Alura

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Something doesn't make sense- If things were not right and this guy was edging you out why did you leave the room? AND IF you knew the doors locked why didn't you unlock it before you left? Sounds to me like you set yourself up.

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You need to put your foot in your wife’s ass also because he could’ve just jumped up and lock the door without her understanding what he had done. That is also her fault because she is she supposed to protect your feelings just like you are supposed to protect hers. There’s no way that she was not involved and didn’t understand what he was doing because the first time he would’ve tried to move her away from you she should’ve said hey wait a minute, that’s my husband you’re not going to treat him that way. So I put the blame on her also for not just stopping and saying  you’re not gonna disrespect my husband like that and tell him to get out the room and you to go at it and finish

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      When the song ended, Nancy walked over to me and put her arms around my neck and kissed me. She looked me in the eyes and said, let's go. I want to have you alone first, and I had no problem with that. We walked down the hall and checked the first two bedrooms and found them occupied. The master bedroom was at the end of the hall, and when we opened the door, we saw Sue and Dan had already gotten there. We started to close the door, and Dan said to come on in. There was more than enough room on the bed; he and Sue only needed half of it.
       
      Nancy put her arms around my neck and kissed me, and whispered that she wanted me naked. At this point, she started to unbutton my shirt. I felt her firm breast pressing against my chest as I ran my hands down her sides. Her skirt had no snaps but was held up by the elastic waistband. It was just a matter of hooking my thumbs under the waistband and stretching it out a little so it would slide down her long legs. Just as I had suspected, she was panty-less. As she undid my pants, I cupped one of her tits in my hand and lowered my mouth to her nipple. My other hand found her wet hot pussy, and I started to finger fuck her with ease. Her hands had pushed my pants down to my knees, and she was stroking my swollen cock with both of her hands. I could hear her breathing getting heavier with each passing moment as I sucked her nipple and fingered her sweet wet hole. She looked me in the eye and pulled my head closer to hers for a long sexual kiss. She started slowly going down to her knees, all the while kissing my chest and stomach. When she reached my now rock-hard shaft, she cupped my balls and the base of my dick in both hands and opened her mouth to take its head into her mouth.
       
      As I stood there getting this magnificent blow-job from this woman, I looked over to the bed. Sue and Dan had moved to the sixty/nine position, and Sue was sucking his cock like she did mine the night before. Dan had his face buried between Sue’s legs, licking her sweet pussy for all its worth. He had his hands spreading it as far as he could to get his tongue in as deep as he could. I remembered just how good Sue’s pussy tasted when she would come, and she always came from a good licking. I wondered just how Nancy’s pussy would taste and did she enjoy it as much as Sue. It would not be much longer before I would find out because of the way she was sucking my dick and watching Sue and Dan, I started to unload in her mouth. My first squirt was deep inside her mouth; the second one she had pulled back but had her mouth open so that it landed in her mouth but mostly on the tongue. As she was swallowing the first two loads, the third hit her closed lips and started to run down her chin. She wiped it off with her finger and then cleaned her finger with her tongue. She stood up and looked me in the eye, and said thank you, we kissed deep and long, and then I told her it was my turn. As she landed down on the bed, I removed my shoes, socks, and pants. She was on her back naked except for her garters and stockings.
       
      I laded down beside her and started to kiss her gently on the neck; slowly, I worked my way down to her nipples, where I sucked and nibbled on each one of them. All the while, I was running my fingers in and out of her hot wet pussy. Her pussy was neatly shaved with just a puff of blond hair left above it. I have always preferred a little hair left instead of an all-shaved pussy, (I wondered if Sue had told her that and she shaved that way just for me). I was working my way down to her honey pot, and she was opening her legs for me. I normally like to work a woman by kissing, nibbling, and sucking on the inside of their legs before I dive into pussy licking. That always seemed to bring their tension up a notch, so when I did go for the gold, they were more than ready for it. With Nancy having her garters and stockings on, that kind of blocked that approach. I soon found out that she did not need that step of foreplay; I also found out that she was anything but a quiet climaxer. I had no sooner started licking, sucking, and nibbling her pussy than she started humping and screaming and cumming. She was begging me to fuck her right then, I needed a little more time to recoup from my climax before I could go on, and she didn’t seem to want to give it to me. I looked from between the legs, and I don’t know if Sue saw the whipped dog look in my eyes or if she was so turned on by Nancy's pleading for a hard fucking or what, but Sue came to my rescue once again.
       
      Sue was on top of Dan, and he was hammering away at her for all he was worth. Sue leaned over and started kissing Nancy and telling her to let it come. I was still down licking her pussy and thinking, "Let this climax run its course, and things will settle down till I recover and can produce again. With Sue's kissing and sucking Nancy's tits and Nancy sucking on Sue’s tits and a double effect. Dan announced that he was coming, and I felt myself coming back into the game. As I slid back up on Nancy to where I could enter her, Sue sat back up on Dan and started riding him hard. She was about to have her own climax and needed to concentrate on that. Just as I put the head of my dick to Nancy’s pussy she said NO, not this way; she pushed me off and got on her hands and knees and said do me from behind; I like it this way the best.
       
      I have no problem with doggie style, so I got behind her and guided the head of my dick into her pussy. I normally like to start slowly, but Nancy told me to do it hard and fast. So I jammed it into the hilt. She instantly started to rock back and forth, and it took a couple of seconds to get into her rhythm, but I got there and was on the in-stroke when she was rocking back and on the outstroke when she was going forward. Like I said before, you know when Nancy comes, everybody knows when Nancy comes, and it did not take long for her to come doggie style.
       
      After she came down from her climax, her body just went limp, and she sank onto the bed face down. Ok, I understand about fast climaxes; been there and done that a time or two myself, but this is the first time I had experienced it happening with the woman I was with. Normally it’s the man that has this happening. I lay down beside her and put my arm around he, and kissed her on her shoulder. I can hear and feel her breathing hard, but that is all the response I get. I look over and Sue is still riding Dan’s dick. I see that glazed-over look in her eyes, one that I have seen many times before, and I know that she won’t last much longer. Just then, I see Dan arch his back and drive into Sue as deep as he can go, his hands are pulling Sue down onto his shaft, and I know that he is releasing his load into her. Sue is wide-eyed and tells him Yes, give it to me, and I know from being there that she has also reached her climax. I lay there and watched her rock back and forth as Dan kept his back arched to give her as much dick as he could. I know the feeling of her pussy muscles on a dick, and I know what he is feeling at this moment. They are constricting and relaxing, constricting and relaxing as she rocks back and forth. Milking every bit of his juice out that they can. I watch as they slow down, and then Sue collapses onto Dan’s chest; she starts that silly giggle that lets you know that you did a good job.
       
      Sue rolled onto her back next to Nancy and looked at me, and asked if I was enjoying myself, and I told him yes. Dan said he needed a drink and asked if any of us wanted one. Sue wanted a margarita, Nancy wanted a glass of ice water, and I said I could use a beer. As Dan was off to get the drinks, the three of us sat up in the bed, the women sat cross-legged, and I just slid up between them and used the headboard as a backrest. I could smell the must of just fucked pussy in the air. There were two women sitting crossed-legged with their pussies open for all to see, and I still had a hard-on. Sue spoke first and said to Nancy, " Did I not tell you he was a good fuck or not" At that point, I could have crawled under the bed, except that Sue was now rubbing my hard dick. Nancy agreed and said that she can’t wait to go again. Sue said that the night was young, but Nancy would just have to wait her turn now because she was next. Thank god Dan showed up with the drinks.
       
      The four of us sat there talking and sipping our drinks. We could hear the party going on in the other part of the house with the music and the occasional orgasm from one of the partygoers or another. Sue asked if we knew where Don was, and Dan said he saw him with Joann, to which Sue said, "Well, he will be occupied for a while". All this time, Sue was stroking my hard cock, then she said that it looked like I was ready to go again, and so was she. Nancy asked her if we could all do it like they did it at the last party. Sue looked at me and then back at Nancy and said that she thought it would be all right. I must have had a questioning look on my face because Sue told me that I would defiantly like this.
       
      Sue had me sit on the side of the bed with my feet on the floor. She then turned around and straddled me backward. I felt her guide my dick into her pussy as she sat down on my lap. " As exciting as the unknown is when having sex with a new partner, it is just as exciting as being in the know and having sex with someone that you have been with before. You know just what they like, and they know what trips your button; Sue knew just what to do to trip my button." She started to rotate her hips to give my dick that just-right grinding. Feeling her slow humping up and down along with the rotation was driving me insane. About that time, I felt a tongue wrapping around my balls and work up my shaft to where I was buried into Sue’s wet box. I looked around Sue to see Nancy on her hands and knees licking not only my balls and dick but also Sue’s wet pussy, and Dan was behind Nancy just fucking away. Sue started to rotate and moan, which caused me to shove up harder; Nancy was licking and sucking faster, which made Sue moan and rotate faster. It was like a snowball rolling downhill. The more it went on, the faster it got. I don’t know what was going on with Dan, and I did not care. I know that I came harder and longer into Sue’s pussy than I can ever remember doing. I remember falling back onto the bed with Sue laying on top of me and still feeling a tongue licking the both of us, and then I heard a far-off scream that said fuck me fuck yes fuck me.
       
      Sue was pulling on my arms and telling me it was time that we rejoined the party. We walked down the hall naked and into the den. We went to the bar, and I sat down on one of the stools. Sue went and got us both a drink and stood between my legs with her arms around my neck. She asked me what I thought of Nancy, and I told her that she was definitely different than any woman that I knew. She said that there was a long story behind that and she would tell me later, but not tonight, I laid my head down between her breast, and she was holding me and rubbing the back of my head when Don came walking up to join us.
       
      Don sat down on a stool, and Sue went over and put her arms around him and asked if he was having fun; I said that he looked like he had been road hard and put up wet. To which he came back with a one-word answer. " Joann". Sue and I just laughed, and I asked if she was still a whirlwind in bed, and he said that she was a man killer if you let her.
      Sue kissed us both and said that we men better get used to the whirlwinds because they are going to rule the world someday.
       
      Note from Jay:
      I have tried to express some of my feelings, thoughts, and happenings into the stories about how I got back into swinging after Dee’s death. I know that it is not your typical swing stories that you are used to reading here. I know that I have brought up couples out of the blue for those that have not been on this site for very long. There are stories posted by " Jay and Dee" that tells how we got started in the swinging lifestyle, how we found out that Don and Sue were swingers, and stories that were milestones in Dee’s and my journey into this wonderful lifestyle.
       
      A lifestyle that I thought had ended with Dee's death. A lifestyle of freedom, pleasure, understanding, and pure joy that I thought I would never be a part of again if it were not for Sue. Some might read into these stories that I have an infatuation with Sue. That is not true. I love Sue. If you go back and read The Surprise, you will know that I have known Sue since we were in elementary school. Her older brother was my best friend until we graduated high school; now, her husband is my best friend.
       
      If it were not for Sue and Don standing by me and pulling me out of my depression, getting me back into not only the lifestyle but life itself did I meet Pam.
       
      Pam is another story all together
       
      I lost Dee in 2004, and the stories about how I got back into the swing happened in 2006. In future stories, I will try not to go back too far into the past, but sometimes my thoughts go there, to a time, a place, or a person that is so important to me that I must bring it up for the story context.
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