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  1. #26
    Swingers Board Addict Vespertine's Avatar
    Happily Married
    I was thinking the exact same thing, JnCC.

    Most women in that position wouldn't dare file a complaint with the police for fear of having their name publicly trashed. Not only would they have to admit to being a swinger but the reprocussions of the media getting ahold of this story would ruin her. Any good defense attorney could get the charges dropped in a snap.

    That is a shame, and a good lesson for us all to be extra, extra careful.

  2. #27
    This is precisely the reason Swinging does not work in in the majority of the situations. I have a few questions for you as a couple:

    1. Why in heavens name did ether of you not call the police? Your wife is being raped and neither of you did anything!
    2. I have not heard a single mff or mfm that has went okay when the husband/boyfriend was in attendance. There are simply too many factors in play that can cause this situation to go horribly wrong.

    If I was your wife I would never swing again. I would definitely not trust you to look out for me.

  3. #28
    Swingers Board Addict shy_couple's Avatar
    Happily Married Couple
    SLS Profile
    Never had any as disturbing as what is being discussed here but recently, we met a couple with a bi-curious girl. Very nice couple but once in the BR, the other female was aggressive with Mrs. Shy and went from curious to hard core butch don quick. It freaked her out. Most of her curiosity has been settled and now resides in making out and breast play, still that depends on the mood and how things are progressing. She was very up front that if they were mostly interested in F/F may not be a good fit. Anyway as soon as clothes started coming off it started getting weird. We didn't stay long and they had their feelings hurt.

    Later we talked to party host and she didn't know them that well but warned the Mrs. that newbies or girls that identified as fully bi could get aggressive and she had similar experiences in the past and shyer away from girls who were "too bi."

    Live and learn but we took a six month break before venturing out again.
    You want me to whack a guy, off a guy, whack off a guy?
    -Peter Griffin

  4. #29
    Swingers Board Guide SW_PA_Couple's Avatar
    Happily married to a wild woman.
    SLS Profile
    Quote Originally Posted by JustAskJulie View Post
    Have you ever had such a bad experience that it scared you away from swinging with a certain group (couples or singles)? Or almost scared you away? If so, what happened?
    No. But I suspect that we have scared a couple or maybe more than one couple. Don't know what we might have said or done but not long after a meeting, an on-line profile has gone dormant or disappeared.
    Gone fishin'.

  5. #30
    Yeah I have had a few bad experiences with swinging....

    1. Stalked: Many years ago now when I first started getting into this lifestyle I convinced the girl I was dating to try a MFM threesome with one of the guys I use to know. What followed was him causing our relationship about 3 months worth of hell and another 12 months of damage on top.

    I had known the guy for some years and we did become really good friends, and yes I made the mistake of asking a friend to play with us. We all agreed we would try a threesome together and the first encounter went fairly well. We both had sex with GF which was an exciting experience, shortly after me and him walked to the local shop for drinks and on the way us two guys discussed the experience and were both over the moon, it had gone really well, there wasn't even any strange feelings, it just kind of seemed fun and natural.

    The next day we eagerly invited him to our house again for round two, sadly however this time everything changed. We all agreed to try another threesome together, getting undressed we had just began getting close when this other guy sat up and basically asked my girlfriend for anal sex. We replied "My girlfriend doesn't like anal sex, sorry" to which the man tried to black mail us. He said if he can not have anal sex he is not having a threesome with us again at which point we said "Fine" and began getting dressed as I wasn't going to let this guy blackmail us or force my GF into something she didn't want.

    The guy got dressed and left shortly after. We were a little pissed off and decided to not to explore with him anymore and thought the situation was over. Sadly however we were very mistaken, in fact what followed was him stalking the hell out of my girlfriend for about 3 months solid. The next day I woke up as normal and left for work and several hours after I had left the house this guy came and knocked on out door seeing my girlfriend answer the door. This guy then proceeded to ask my girlfriend for sex without me around to which she said no thanks and closed the door.

    On getting home my girlfriend told me what had happened and I was very upset, however my girlfriend had told him to "Get Lost" and we thought he got the message, how wrong we were. Several days past and we didn't hear a thing until I woke up and went to work again and perhaps an hour later this man again came knocking on our door. My girlfriend again answered the door without even thinking and he proceeded to beg her for sex, he said now we had a threesome together he was allowed sex with her alone. My girlfriend told him if he came back she was calling the police and have to say by this stage she was scared, she shut and locked the door and called me at work.

    Again I was furious but now my girlfriend had said she would call the police I thought this man would back off, I even text him and kindly asked him to please stay away from our home and not to come near us ever again to which he didn't even reply. Perhaps 3 or 4 days passed and we didn't hear a word until I again left for work and about 1 hours later my girlfriend heard stones hitting our bedroom window, looking out the window he was there shouting up at the window asking her to let him in our house. He was yelling for all our neighbours to hear and was asking to her to open the door and just speak to him, asking her to let him have sex without me around and my girlfriend was terrified by this stage, she actually locked all the doors and barricaded herself in our bedroom.

    I returned home later that day and was seriously pissed off and messaged this man saying if he came near again I would beat him black and blue. Everything fell silent for about 2 weeks and finally we thought this man had got the message BUT NO, he turned up again banging on our door whilst I was at work. He again shouted up at the window and spent about 30 minutes shouting through our letter box trying to get my girlfriend to unlock the door. I again returned home from work and text the man saying we had called the police, that we have given the police all of his details and told them what he is doing.

    That seemed to scare him away and again we thought the situation was over until one day my girlfriend left the house for work and as she left the house she walked half way up our street when this man came charging out of the bushes and grabbed her arm. He wouldn't let her go and began asking her for sex alone without me around. My girlfriend managed to break free and ran into a neighbours back yard seeing this man give chase. Luckily the person who owned the house came out to investigate and basically saved my girlfriend who was seriously terrified by this stage.

    I came home to find my girlfriend standing with both my parents and she was in tears, she was shaking, she was terrified and I again text this man with every threat and warning under the sun, I'm not proud of it but I clearly said if he comes near my girlfriend or our home again I'd kill him. The man then vanished off again for another 2 or 3 weeks until one day my girlfriend was standing at her work and this man just walked into her shop and began marching right towards her. He knew where she worked and turned up at her workplace to ask her for sex again so my girlfriend quickly ran off into the mangers office and locked the door. It caused a fair scene at her workplace and she had to be sent home for the day, it was very clear this man was fully stalking her.

    Like stated it caused a big scene at her work, all of her workplace knew she was my girlfriend and suddenly this other man had marched on the premises and was enough to scare her half to death and make her flee to the managers office and lock herself in. Her work was so concerned about her that they paid for a taxi home so this man couldn't get her. From that point my girlfriend life became a living nightmare, she was scared to leave the house, scared to be at work, scared to leave for work and everyday for some weeks we had to arrange a taxi to pick her up from out home and bring her back from work as well.

    It was about that time I decided this wasn't going to stop, this problem wasn't going to stop so I asked my manager at work for some time off work, I explained that my girlfriend was getting badly stalked by some crazy man and my old boss the legend that he was granted me a week off work to sort the problem. What followed was nearly enough to put me off swinging for life and still haunts and worries me to this day.

    The first day I had off I woke up in the morning and sat in our front bedroom with the light off simply watching the road to see if this man turned up or not. I sat there for 3 or 4 hours and this man did not arrive. The next day came and I again sat there watching the street for several hours but again this guy didn't show up. The third day came and I still remember to this day sitting in that darkened room for maybe 3 or 4 hours until I finally stud up with a cold cup of tea in my hand and decided to call it a day, the man wasn't going to show up.

    I still remember standing up and was just about to turn around when I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and noticed a figure walking into the bushes across the road form my house. I had to look again and just managed to notice this idiot of a man walking into the bushes. He walked into the thick bushes and that just vanished and knelt behind the bushes. I remember standing there thinking "What the hell is he doing?" If he is trying to watch my house how can he see anything knelt behind those thick bushes? Only seconds later his head popped up from behind the bushes and I was there watching him from the darkened room. I stud there watching him wondering what the hell he was doing when all of a sudden his head began bobbing up and down, like a slight rapid head movement and I looked directly at him wondering what the hell he was doing when suddenly it clicked....

    He was actually sat behind the bushes looking at my house and masturbating. That was it, I still remember dropping the cold cup of tea and before it had even hit the floor I was half way down the stairs and within seconds was charging over the road like a angry bull. Charging towards the bushes I didn't even bother going around them but simply leaped straight over them like some crazy person and landed right next to this man who hand his trousers around his knees was half way through masturbating. What followed for the next 5 minutes was me kicking him black and blue, I punched him so hard I'm surprised he is still alive and as I stood there kicking him this scrawny little pervert of a man struggled to pull up his pants with me letting out punches and kicks left right and centre.

    Luckily for him he suddenly managed to find his feet and scurried off down the road, his face was bleeding, his eyes swelling, his lip was split and I had given him a serious beating, but still when he was far enough away he turned around and began yelling abuse at me and threatening to call the police and swearing at me. I began running full steam towards him and he turned around and ran away as fast as he could. He vanished off into the distance only stopping to hurl more abuse at me and I returned home still shaking with Adrenalin.

    Some time later the police arrived at our home and they came into our house with the full intention of arresting me for assaulting this idiot man. My girlfriend was in tears and shaking and we told the police officer about the last few months where this man had stalked her life to death, we told them about how this man had turned up at our home, how he had chased he into a neighbours garden, how he had turned up at her place of work and sent her fleeing into the managers office. I have to say until this point I think the police was still going to put cuffs on me until I explained how he had been masturbating in the bushes over the road and that it was him approaching our home.

    Once they heard that they looked at each other and simply said "We will deal with it" and am assuming they went back to that man and seriously told him off and gave him warnings. We never heard from that dick head man again but needless to say my girlfriends life for the next 12 months was a very worried and paranoid place, every time she left the house she was expecting to see this sex crazed man charging at her from the bushes, every time she went to work she was sat there waiting for him to walk in the door, for the best part of a year we were on high alert and didn't swing again, in fact it caused a lot of problems in our relationship because after all it was me who convinced my girlfriend to try with this idiot man.

    That one man not only damaged our chances of swinging but he damaged us as well, he damaged our relaitonship, my own girlfriend didn't even feel safe living there anymore. It was an awful experience and even my own parents now suspected we were swingers, they certainly knew this man had slept with my girlfriend, that much they had figured out when my girlfriend had called them for help.

    From that point on I now make sure anyone we meet does not know my working patterns, does not know where me or my partner works, does not know our hobbies, does not know any of our family or friends, and now meet people in hotels at least a few times before inviting them home. My honest advice to any couple who gets this sort of issue with a man is simply to CALL THE POLICE. Don't do what I did and wait around thinking it will stop or else your partner will get stabbed or raped or God knows what else, simply call thew police straight away and explain your partner is been stalked. You do not have to tell the police about any threesome, you simply have to tell them your been stalked and a man is approaching your home or partner.

    It tuck the best part of two years to get over that incident but my girlfriend finally did agree to try swinging again, even she agreed that the actions of one man doesn't count for every person out there, still however it left worries issues and scars that never really healed and think it did impact heavily on us breaking up years later.

    2. This happened maybe 4 or 5 years after the event above, but basically we had got talking to a man on line and have to say he sounded 100% perfect on paper, he gave all the right answers, sounded like he matched us perfectly, and we actually spoke nearly everyday for some months. The only issue was he lived very far away, even to meet us was a 6 hour journey by car. However we got on so well we decided to meet him and invited him to spend the weekend with us. The pictures he had sent us was great, he looked healthy, clean, sexy, and we got on so well, we had even spoke on the phone several times.

    I still remember getting all dressed up, we spent several hours bathing, grooming ourselves, getting ready to meet this great guy who seemed to click with us so well. I remember standing there at the train station waiting to meet him. After months of speaking the train finally pulled into the station and think me and my girlfriend at the time were both very excited, both waiting to see this guy who we had spent so long chatting with. My girlfriend was so sure about him she planned to give him a big welcome kiss right there in the train station.

    Let me be very clear when I say.... The man who got off that train was NOT the man in the pictures he had sent. In fact the man who got off that train was an ugly, scrawny, messy person who looked to have bird shit in his hair. His hair was greasy and unwashed and had huge white crusty stuff stuck inside, it honestly looked like a pigeon has shit in his hair. His face was so badly shaven he had missed huge clumps, there were clumps of beard all over his face like he had actually missed shaving half his beard, it looked 0% like the photos he had sent us.

    It left us in a rather bad position, everything was booked and we had planned him staying all weekend and sadly we felt obliged as everything was booked and ready. It wasn't a nice weekend at all

    3. Some years later with a new girlfriend we met a guy on line who again seemed really nice, he was actually so shy that it gave us confidence, he seemed so friendly, so passive, and seemed clean in his appearance, and he also had a MASSIVE DICK. The first time my girlfriend reached into his pants she looked at me seriously shocked and said "Oh my God its HUGE!!!" And yeah he did have a very large penis, it must have been twice the size of mine but hey I thought it would be fun for my girlfriend. We had a few social meets before playing, however when we did finally get down to playing together it all went really well seeing my girlfriend sucking away on his massive dick, shortly after he got on top and began sliding his dick up her pussy, it must have taken him about 5 minutes just to get inside her properly and my girlfriend soon began letting out moans of pleasure and she slowly pumped in and out.

    Maybe 5 minutes passed, then 10 minutes, then 15, then 20 and after about 30 minutes it started to become cleat this guy was NOT going to cum. I think we tried for about an hour, my girlfriend gave him oral sex for ages, she let him try inside her pussy about 3 times but in the end we just had to give up, this man was not going to cum. We got dressed and he said he had a stomach ache which had put him off, he said he had a cramped feeling in his tummy and it had put him off been able to cum. We decided it was worth another try and the following week we met him again, sadly however the exact same happened and he was totally unable to cum seeing us again try for over an hour with no success.

    We decided to not meet him again, it was just too difficult, after 30 minutes my girlfriend was exhausted but this guy might have needed 5 hours to actually cum. We didn't meet anyone else for a while but about 2 months later we got sexually checked out and found this guy had given us Chlamydia the main symptoms of which are stomach cramps / severe pain when cumming. We contacted the man to kindly let him know he had given us an STD which whilst treatable was very upsetting. The man replied that he knew and his ex girlfriend had got Chlamydia but he hadn't been bothered to go and get treated so basically this man knowingly stuck his dick into my girlfriend knowing full well he had an STD. What a dick head!!!!

    There are my top 3 bad experiences.

  6. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by JustAskJulie View Post
    One of the recent intros mentioned how they had had such a bad experience their first time out with a couple that it scared them away from swinging with couples for quite a while. So I got to wondering about the bad experiences that people have.

    Have you ever had such a bad experience that it scared you away from swinging with a certain group (couples or singles)? Or almost scared you away? If so, what happened?
    Yes and to put it bluntly our first experience was at a sex club that we researched. We intended on just checking out if this was something for us. It took us a while, perhaps we arrived too early but took a while to feel comfortable. We met a few couples that were fun, some others that there just was not that energy. Well... At first we did not want to play but had such a nice time this other couple, knew we were newbies and well... the guy, nice at first and his wife the decoy(for me)... things got hot in the private room he was playing with my wife, she was somewhat enjoying it, we signed off on doing it...and well his wife entertained me, more of a lap dance while he started fucking my wife. Ok fair enough my turn would come. Well it never did. He got her so hot and added a buddy of his to help get her ready that she could not say no. I gave him a condom he took it as his wife lap danced me... He starts fucking my wife, his bud watching, and he pumps away and cums. As he finishes his wife pretty much hops off me (thanks) and her man´s cock is covered with cum and no condom. We tested later that week (ok) but they preyed on us and were reported. Sad... it took a private party months later for us to re.indulge as it was very sexy, erotic seeing her taken by another man.

  7. #32
    We advise talking with a person (M or F) before a sexual experience.Sometimes the way, the way of speaking, the look reveals the character of a person. Other times no: psychopaths know how to look good people.

  8. #33
    We advise talking with a person - M or F -, in a public spot (restaurant or bar, for example) before the sexual experience. Sometimes the way, the way of speaking, the look reveals the character of a person. Other times no: psychopaths know how to look nice people. But with us a previous conversation always helped.

  9. #34
    We had just one bad experience. We met a nice couple at a party and decided to go to the motel. The problem is that the two women (mine and the guy´s one just had hated each other). Case of hate at first sight. It had never happened before (and we had many other previous adventures with other couples). The guy had sex with my wife, I had with his, everything quiet, but the two women did not want to touch each other and always treated each other with a harshness. Worse, my wife did not explain the source of so much dislike for the other. Both beautiful women. My wife is not homophobic and already had sex with many women, always in swinger´s parties or swapping wives. What happened? Mystery of women, I imagine.

  10. #35
    Swingers Board Addict kellimc's Avatar
    Single Female
    I had one really bad experience, but it didn't make me even think about getting out of the lifestyle.

    Back in the days when I was still meeting couples, I met a couple on a lifestyle website who asked me out to dinner for our first meeting. Everything was fine during dinner and we all got along well. I especially like her. She seemed to have a really good attitude and was very attractive. They were both about fifteen years older than me, but the age difference was no problem.

    After dinner we went back to their house and had a drink. Then we moved to the bedroom. Everything seemed to be going fine and I had no hint of anything being wrong. As we moved toward the bed, we were all undressing. I sat on the edge of the bed and he stood in front of me with a hardon and it was clear he wanted me to give him head. His wife was behind me on the bed. As I started blowing him, I expected her to join in but she didn't. After a minute or so, I heard a funny noise behind me and turned to see that her eyes were wet and she was sobbing.

    Suddenly it hit me that she was not into swinging at all, despite her apparent enthusiasm earlier in the evening. I pretended not to notice and did my best to make him cum quickly, which he thankfully did. As soon as I finished him off, I just grabbed my belongings and ran out of the house as fast as I could.

    I have no idea what happened after I left. Their website profile disappeared pretty soon after that.

  11. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by JustAskJulie View Post
    One of the recent intros mentioned how they had had such a bad experience their first time out with a couple that it scared them away from swinging with couples for quite a while. So I got to wondering about the bad experiences that people have.

    Have you ever had such a bad experience that it scared you away from swinging with a certain group (couples or singles)? Or almost scared you away? If so, what happened?
    Yeah... our first visit to a club we were prayed upon. Basically the couple approached us we enjoyed their company helped us open up, long story short he fucks my wife, the other lady teases me and then they walk away. We reported them... all fixed.

  12. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by Eddiem View Post
    Yeah... our first visit to a club we were prayed upon.
    Eddiem, everyone on this board understands you meant to write “preyed upon”. Probably an autocorrect change. But I’m trying to decide what would be worse at a sex club, what actually happened to you and your wife or on the other hand, having a group of people lay hands on and start praying for you.

  13. #38
    Swingers Board Addict Wornsilver's Avatar
    Couple, he posts
    Quote Originally Posted by PeterJ View Post
    Eddiem, everyone on this board understands you meant to write “preyed upon”. Probably an autocorrect change. But I’m trying to decide what would be worse at a sex club, what actually happened to you and your wife or on the other hand, having a group of people lay hands on and start praying for you.

  14. #39
    Classic... yes Auto-correct DOH!
    Quote Originally Posted by Wornsilver View Post

  15. #40
    Swingers Board Addict couplers's Avatar
    female in poly family
    "Have you had a bad experience that has almost scared you out of swinging?"

    Yes, but it turned me in the right direction.

    As I sometimes give as background, I have been with five guys in my life, two of whom are in our poly family, David and Red. One other is Lora's ex-husband Walter who we still all get along with and play with several times a year when he is back East. The other is Frank, a boyfriend to Lora, Clair and I.

    The fifth guy I had sex with, Sam, was the third in the sequence. I told the tale long ago (so long ago that I cannot find it here) about after having married David while still having Red as my lover, I was full of myself. I thought I was God's gift to men (not yet having discovered my Lesbian side) and believing that I could easily manage an expanded sex life. So I thought when I met Sam, found him attractive, and announced to hubby and Red that I was going to have sex with him as well. Well I did, and it wasn't fulfilling or even fun. The first couple of times were exciting, but Sam was a poor lover. He thought he was God's gift to women, just wanted me to blow him and fuck me in my bum, which was OK but anal alone doesn't make me cum, and he didn't care about my orgasms or satisfaction at all. On top of that Sam disparaged my husband (he didn't know about Red), saying that David must be sexually inadequate for me to let him fuck me, and a wimp when I told Sam that hubby knew about us and was OK with it.

    I would complain to David how my fling with Sam wasn't working as I had expected, and what I was thinking that I needed to do to improve it. (I'm compulsive and goal oriented.) David gave me the best advice - that it wasn't my solely responsibility to make whatever I was doing with Sam feel right. It then became clear to me that I was taking credit for the two relationships that I had with Red and David being so great, when in reality it was their attitude and efforts that made everything work so well on every level.

    I decided to end it with Sam, but had a few goodbye fucks with him where I forced him to start and stay in my pussy until I came, then lick me until I came again. No more blow jobs to completion or putting anything other than his finger in my bum.

    After that, I knew what I had and turned inward toward Red and David as my future. It has been all for the best.

  16. #41
    A Tale of Two Cities. It was the best experience and the worst experience.
    Our first experience was in separate rooms on a cruise. That first night was a dream. My first night I have described as someone new making love to me. I left all my inhibitions at the door. I was with a man who wasn’t my husband and I was going to enjoy it. He was there to please me and I allowed everything.
    That changed the next day. In front of my husband and his wife I became a sex object. Instead of the lover I was with overnight I became a whore putting on a show. I know some will say my husband should have stopped it, I could have said something, I could have stopped it. I didn’t. What was an erotic oral sex the night before was now a man plowing into my mouth. What was a slow erotic time with many positions was now a plowing from behind. A number of things happened that shouldn’t have happened.
    Afterwards I didn’t say to everyone what bothered me. Apologies by everyone.
    The couple who were our first are still our friends and I still look forward to our times together.

  17. #42
    ...Was back in 1980 when drugs seemed to have been a lot more common among swingers. My GF & I had had a threesome with a female friend of hers. The girls made a play date for a foursome to include the other woman BF. They showed up whacked on PCP. Not enough to knock them out, or falling down status, but they were pretty much unable to focus, difficulty talking, ect... Being young and horny my lady friend & I soldiered on, but got nowhere good. I gave up trying to fuck the girl and jacked off on her ass just to get it over with. My friend fucked a cock attached to a totally uncoordinated & largely "out of it" guy. He did not cum & she gave up on it too. Worst sex of the year prize hands down. & in retrospect it competes for the worst of my life.

  18. #43
    Swingers Board Addict couplers's Avatar
    female in poly family
    Quote Originally Posted by Shore2Please View Post
    ... In front of my husband and his wife I became a sex object. Instead of the lover I was with overnight I became a whore putting on a show...
    To me, the mood that I'm in makes all the difference. Even with my husband, most times I want a lover, but sometimes I just want him to be the guy who plows the naughty whore.

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