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My husband and I our pretty picky about who we play with. We have two couples that we see every couple of weeks.

 

Recently our group has talked about not using condoms since we all just play with each other. We have all been STD tested in the last year and our negative.

 

Also the ladies are fixed our in my case on the pill

 

I don't like condoms put we have always played with them. I love the feel of a man exploding inside me and feeling the warmth pour out after.

 

I have two questions our thoughts.

 

1. Are there any dangers Im missing?

 

2. Are there any couples that do this already out there, and is it worth it?

 

 

 

Thanks,

 

 

Amy

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Guest Tightwad

I don't know if its worth it , but i do agree that sex without a condom has seemed to become more exciting. We are only active with one couple that we have each known for 14 years. My wife has experiences only with the other female and not actually swapped male to female yet. We talk about it but not acted on our desires yet.

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It is my opinion it isnt worth the risk although I do think sex is so much better without the condom. I would rather be safe than sorry in this case and not have to worry. We had one couple that we played with only that we had known for 8 years, and we still used a condom just to be on the safe side.

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We use condoms with all new contacts, buut will go bareback with people we know and trust. There is a totally different feel to going without them. Also, since I tend to play with my partner, I may go through several cycles of hard and soft. This just won't work with condoms. We have one Male who loves to eat out Mrs Vjk after I fill her pussy, a real creampie afficionado. We are quite willing to indulge his fetish.

J

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We will go bareback with couples we know and trust (which to date number 2) and wear condoms with new contacts.

 

Frankly, we both prefer going bareback. It's more of a rush.

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what a dumb thread. Are their risk..LOL hell yeah. Chances are you will encounter a disease if you keep it up. testing once a year is not enough, taking a couples word for it to is not enough. Prositutes in vegas get tested every week and that still does not guarantee anything as HIV can hide for months and not be detected. Im surprised reading these threads on how many swingers actually believe that chances of getting a disease is slim or you cant at all from sex...lol

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I only get creampies from my Primary Lover. YES, it's worth it; IMO, a person should get a creampie from at least one guy!

 

All other guys in my life wears condoms.

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My wife will not suck on a condom covered penis.

 

To be honest, I've read quite a few posts where the woman will suck a guy with no rubber yet insist that he put one on before he puts it in her. Sounds crazy to us. If you feel that the guy has something you don't want then you should have him cover it up even for oral.

 

We don't insist on condoms although if he wanted to we would not talk him out of it. Besides, I love sloppy seconds!

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Originally posted by lcjtsd

My wife will not suck on a condom covered penis.

 

To be honest, I've read quite a few posts where the woman will suck a guy with no rubber yet insist that he put one on before he puts it in her. Sounds crazy to us. If you feel that the guy has something you don't want then you should have him cover it up even for oral.

 

We don't insist on condoms although if he wanted to we would not talk him out of it. Besides, I love sloppy seconds!

 

You are referring to all or nothing. Most people find a happy middle, thus lessening the odds of getting STDs.

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I would look at the studies on HIV prevalence among prositutes in Nevada. The last one I saw said the HIV risk there was pretty low.

 

I think you also need to do some math here.

 

Is there risk? Sure. Still, I'm not ready to say that someone who consistency uses tests with partners they go bareback with and swings occaisionally with condoms is at a high risk for disease compared to folks that take their partner's word they are monogamous.

 

When I look at the math, tests as imperfect as they are, lower the odds of transmission quite a bit. The reason? A significant fraction of folks show antibodies to HIV within a few weeks of infection--and the odds of getting HIV from any single encounter with an HIV+ partner is something like 1/1000. That means that if you consistency test say every 3 months, then the odds of transmission before the infection shows up in a test is less than 3%(even if you were having sex with that person twice a month). Other diseases are a lot more contagious-but they show up in tests a lot sooner.

 

Basically, by using tests, you remove your chances of exposure to over 95% of the HIV+ folks _and_ the odds transmission from the folks that are infected but not HIV yet are pretty small.

 

If you consistently choose partners that in term get their partners tested, the odds improve even more.

 

Originally posted by outofcontrol

what a dumb thread. Are their risk..LOL hell yeah. Chances are you will encounter a disease if you keep it up. testing once a year is not enough, taking a couples word for it to is not enough. Prositutes in vegas get tested every week and that still does not guarantee anything as HIV can hide for months and not be detected. Im surprised reading these threads on how many swingers actually believe that chances of getting a disease is slim or you cant at all from sex...lol

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what a dumb thread. Are their risk..LOL hell yeah.

 

1) I was told often when I was younger that "there is no such thing as a dumb question" or "the only dumb question is the one not asked" ...

 

2) There are risks inherent in any activity at all. Many people die each year as a result of showering. [falls while showering are on the increase...] and yet, we don't say that showering is dumb. Thousands die as a result of driving an automobile and we continue to engage in that risky behavior as well (and do so very fast with no seat belt on)

 

We each must evaluate risks and them elect whether we are prepared to assume that risk. Part of evaluating risks is collecting information -- in a manner for example that the OP has begun here. To say that this is a "dumb thread" is then, in my opinion, not a very intelligent (or helpful) comment.

 

Chances are you will encounter a disease if you keep it up.

 

Chances are, we will each encounter some disease before we die. It may be viral or bacterial or congenital but the chances are great that we will each be exposed to something from somewhere. I understand that there is a pretty virulent (sp) strain of the flu going around right now.

 

Im surprised reading these threads on how many swingers actually believe that chances of getting a disease is slim or you cant at all from sex...

 

Why? Isn't participating in the lifestyle a socially risky behavior to begin with? The question is, is it any more or less risky to engage in that behavior with or without a condom? Some argue that using a condom instils a false sense of security which increases risky behavior. Others argue that disease transmission is only minimized by the use of condoms and not negated entirely.

 

[QOUTE]Prositutes in vegas get tested every week

 

BTW -- Isn't prostitution illegal inside the city of Las Vegas? Why would sex workers already engaging in illegal activity care if they get tested every week? Legal Nevada working girls are tested once per month for HIV... Latex condom use is required by law. One study I read said this... "To date, no actively working legal brothel prostitute has ever tested HIV positive." {The Body, 1996}

 

The research I've read has indicated that prostitutes ARE at higher risk of contracting STD but not because of the sex acts they perform but by virtue of the number of partners. Reality is that any person having sex with 20-30 (or more) distinct partners EVERY week will be exposed to more opportunities for infection -- That IS NOT the same as what the OP asked though -- this thread wasn't about indiscriminate partnering with 20-30 people per week. We have apples vs oranges here.....

 

So, I say that the only dumb question is the one not asked and the only dumb answer is the one that prevents further questions from being asked. Is it a "dumb thread"? nahhhhh.

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Originally posted by BettyAnnMBSC

Thousands die as a result of driving an automobile and we continue to engage in that risky behavior as well (and do so very fast with no seat belt on)

Speak for yourself! I've seen the end result of this particular practice (i.e. "Road Salsa"), and we wear our seat belts religiously!

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I believe she meant generally speaking people drive fast without wearing seatbelts.

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Originally posted by BettyAnnMBSC

Why? Isn't participating in the lifestyle a socially risky behavior to begin with? The question is, is it any more or less risky to engage in that behavior with or without a condom? Some argue that using a condom instils a false sense of security which increases risky behavior. Others argue that disease transmission is only minimized by the use of condoms and not negated entirely.

 

 

 

This is absolutely true. We had the unfortunate incident of a condom breaking last weekend. At least it was the one worn by the other male who is snipped and Ang is on birth control, so pregnancy is not an issue. If it had been the other way around it would have just added another thing to worry about.

 

Rusty

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So, I say that the only dumb question is the one not asked and the only dumb answer is the one that prevents further questions from being asked. Is it a "dumb thread"? nahhhhh.

 

Hooray for Betty Ann! If there is one thing I'd like to change on this board, it is the posting of remarks that essentially say, "You're stupid for having said that."

 

Mr. Alura

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Originally posted by redchicago

My husband and I our pretty picky about who we play with. We have two couples that we see every couple of weeks.

 

Recently our group has talked about not using condoms since we all just play with each other. We have all been STD tested in the last year and our negative.

 

Also the ladies are fixed our in my case on the pill

 

Are there any couples that do this already out there, and is it worth it?

 

Thanks,

 

Amy

 

In my opinion, Amy, if none of the playmates have an STD, and if none of the women are at risk of getting pregnant, and if noone plays outside the group, there is no chance of getting an STD and, therefore, no reason to use condoms.

 

All y'all must use your own judgement in making this decision, and it must be unanimous. If any one couple wants to play outside the group, it's a whole new situation.

 

We've never used condoms but our playmates have always been couples who had been married many years and had not had outside experiences. Of course, they could have been lieing but our gut instincts told us they weren't.

 

If we felt there was a need for condoms because a couple posed a risk for STDs, we'd not play with them, condoms or not. If we felt a couple posed no risk but they wanted us to use condoms, we would.

 

Mr. Alura

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HIV is not the only STD which is life-threatening. I didn't see HPV or hepatitis mentioned. There really is not test for HPV, and there is no test for herpes.

 

You have to trust the person you are with is honest enough to share this information with you (and not desperate enough to want to have sex with you because then they'll probably lie to you if they think you'll reject them).

 

You also have to trust that the person you are with is SMART enough to KNOW they have an STD. I've met some people who do not know you can transmit oral herpes (aka: fever blisters) to the genitals via oral sex, thus having a life-long problem of genital herpes.

 

Of course like all of life's choices, each person must weigh their options with the risks.

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I think your point about the difference in risk between a typical swinger and a prostitute is a very good one.

 

There are a couple of other considerations here:

a prostitute in San Francisco or New York is at a rather different level of risk than a prositute in Nevada or Alaska--it isn't just the number of partners, but the pool from which the partner is chosen. Also, there are other mitigating factors. A high proportion of prostitutes in many urban areas are also IV drug users--and the risk of HIV/hepatitis from IV drug use(i.e. dirty needles) swamps their risk from their sexual activities.

 

The thing about HIV that is tricky: that disease is relatively hard to get, so it usually takes repeated exposure to become infected(albeit, infection is easier via anal sex). Diseases like Chlamydia are much more related to the number of partners one has--

because a single exposure is much more likely to result in transmission.

 

Originally posted by BettyAnnMBSC

 

The research I've read has indicated that prostitutes ARE at higher risk of contracting STD but not because of the sex acts they perform but by virtue of the number of partners. Reality is that any person having sex with 20-30 (or more) distinct partners EVERY week will be exposed to more opportunities for infection -- That IS NOT the same as what the OP asked though -- this thread wasn't about indiscriminate partnering with 20-30 people per week. We have apples vs oranges here.....

[/b]

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the risk of HIV/hepatitis from IV drug use(i.e. dirty needles) swamps their risk from their sexual activities.

 

There is some research which shows (though with some doubt) that this is in fact the primary method of transimission. When illicit use is coupled with medical IV procedures the risk is staggering.

 

Some researchers are compelled to think that there is more to HIV transmission than simple sexual transmission. This because there are countless cases of married relationships wherein one partner is HIV+ while the other is not -- and, there has been sexual interaction without precaution.

 

That said, I don't personally believe that it is so simple as whether HIV is an STD -- this is one complicated transmission model that is not yet understood.

 

Then, is it safer to use a condom or not -- probably so! But then, we engage in risky behavior everyday... some more risky than others.... :)

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Originally posted by BettyAnnMBSC

Some researchers are compelled to think that there is more to HIV transmission than simple sexual transmission. This because there are countless cases of married relationships wherein one partner is HIV+ while the other is not -- and, there has been sexual interaction without precaution.

 

That said, I don't personally believe that it is so simple as whether HIV is an STD -- this is one complicated transmission model that is not yet understood.

 

 

I've always had my doubts on every "disease" imaginable. Coming from a very strong nutritional, alternative healing background, I think it's FAR MORE about each individual's immune system and how healthy a person is. Some diseases are just so powerful....IMO, a person must have an immaculate healthy system/body to not get diseases, or not die from them. That would require a perfect eating/exercise regimen. Becoming a real narcissist! Muscular, cardiovascular, skeletal exercises, plus an optimum diet....Few people have the time and emotional energy to do this and keep this up for a lifetime!

 

The big questions are though: How healthy are you to combat against dieases? How do you know when you are healthy enough?? So it's all a gamble....

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How healthy are you to combat against dieases? How do you know when you are healthy enough??

 

I have other questions too... :)

 

For example -- what effect on your immune system does taking that medicine doc rx'd for you have on your ability to fight other conditions.

 

Now, I'm not saying we should all avoid traditional medicine but....

 

Have you ever noticed, that when your car is running fine and you go get a tune-up, all of a sudden it needs major repairs in the next few months....?

 

Have you ever noticed that some people are never sick a day -- until they go to doc for that cold/flu -- then all of a sudden they start getting sick all the time.

 

Well, just two thoughts I was having about the similarity between automobile repair and the care of physicians... Of course, if you are sick -- go to the doctor! But pay attention to what you're taking.... It's perfectly acceptable to say "doc, I don't really like the risks of sexual side effects that this medication presents..." to which he will generally reply "well, you know we could try this less risky drug over here..."

 

What good does it do you if you take a med to kill your cold if that same med reduces your ability to fight pneumonia.

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I love making creampies now i've mostly done it only with my wife.but have with others as had she we know there are risks but to live this lifestyle there is gonna be wether you use a protection or not.There are no guarantees.

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Wow!!

 

Sorry, no raincoat no playing with my spouse!! I would never think to swing without a condom. Can't be done. We all have enough to worry about without adding that to the list. You can quote all the statistics you want, good or bad. They are just numbers. Maybe we are anal. We just don't do it!

 

Creampies? Love em. But only with my Baby :)

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Originally posted by MrYaWanna

Wow!!

 

Sorry, no raincoat no playing with my spouse!! I would never think to swing without a condom. Can't be done. We all have enough to worry about without adding that to the list. You can quote all the statistics you want, good or bad. They are just numbers. Maybe we are anal. We just don't do it!

 

Creampies? Love em. But only with my Baby :)

 

If you are THAT concerned, I'm surprised you swing at all. Condoms do break, and that will most likely happen at least a few times if you swing regularly.

 

There used to be a term out called something like "Condom Babies"; people who used condoms but still the women got in contact with the guys' semen, and the women got pregnant.

 

I'm concerned about it too, hence the reason why I don't swing. But that's not the main reason I don't swing; I just rather have sex with friends. :)

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Originally posted by FloridaTagTeam

That's why i said that there are no guarantees.There is no fool proof way other than abstainance and what fun is that?

 

No fun at all.

 

Actually, abstinence is unhealthy--psychologically and physically. There's even a higher risk of getting cancer for women who don't ever have a baby in their life. Such is nature.

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Ooooh...I looove the creampie...and ONLY from my Mikey. :kissface:

 

Yes, I am taking a chance at trusting that he is monogamous.

But we literally are together 24/7 so I'm 100% certain about this...(Well unless he has something going with the ducks in the lake..):rofl: From sunup to sundown!

 

For the rest of you, I hate to say this...but how

can you say you TRUST a couple lest you forget your committed partner (who statistics say has a 50/50 chance on straying) you have gotten to know?

 

Are you trusting that they do not play with other couples?

Are you trusting that they practice the same standards of safe sex as you do?

 

I almost got into this situtation with a woman I met locally.

I'm so happy and relieved that I didn't go there (have sex)

with her. We are now just friends and it was no news to me to learn that they are very sexually active with many, many other couples and their definition of safe sex is not mine. :rolleyes:

 

Think on that.

 

As to the "how to have your creampie and eat it too...." aspect

get your darling hubby to go an extra round or two with you.

Pretty easy when you're sharing the sex with others.

 

Heavenly! Better go wake him up from his nap now! :lol:

 

Love and licks ;-*

 

Slutty Wife

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Originally posted by SluttyWife

 

Yes, I am taking a chance at trusting that he is monogamous.

 

Monogamous about making creampies? Because in your profile your interest is "group sex," unless you do group sex, but hubby doesn't.

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Actually, abstinence is unhealthy--psychologically and physically. There's even a higher risk of getting cancer for women who don't ever have a baby in their life. Such is nature

 

Now if we can convince certain religions of this......................................soapbox

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quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by SluttyWife

 

 

Yes, I am taking a chance at trusting that he is monogamous.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Originally posted by Lorrie

Monogamous about making creampies? Because in your profile your interest is "group sex," unless you do group sex, but hubby doesn't.

 

No response? OK. :)

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Lorrie,

 

Dear Lorrie,

 

Sorry to have missed this thread, but I just found it again. :)

 

To answer your question...

I trust that he's monogamous when we are not playing with others cos we are together 24/7. So creampie from hubby is

as safe as safe can be, me thinks.

 

I have a very healthy interest is group sex...:hahaha: and I believe that can be had more safely which means no cream pies with other partners. Pretty much impossible with a condom on.

So if I'm in a mood for a creampie...hubby does the honors not just once, but twice or more.

 

::P:

 

Love and licks ;-*

 

Slutty Wife

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My husband and I our pretty picky about who we play with. We have two couples that we see every couple of weeks.

 

Recently our group has talked about not using condoms since we all just play with each other. We have all been STD tested in the last year and our negative.

 

Also the ladies are fixed our in my case on the pill

 

I don't like condoms put we have always played with them. I love the feel of a man exploding inside me and feeling the warmth pour out after.

 

I have two questions our thoughts.

 

1. Are there any dangers Im missing?

 

2. Are there any couples that do this already out there, and is it worth it?

 

 

 

Thanks,

 

 

Amy

 

 

I thought "creampie" involves anal sex not viginal sex. The couple that I play with we do not us condoms, although I do not cum inside her, we both pull out and cum on her face and have her suck the head of my cock.

 

Magnum :)

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I would look at the studies on HIV prevalence among prositutes in Nevada. The last one I saw said the HIV risk there was pretty low.

 

I think you also need to do some math here.

 

Is there risk? Sure. Still, I'm not ready to say that someone who consistency uses tests with partners they go bareback with and swings occaisionally with condoms is at a high risk for disease compared to folks that take their partner's word they are monogamous.

 

When I look at the math, tests as imperfect as they are, lower the odds of transmission quite a bit. The reason? A significant fraction of folks show antibodies to HIV within a few weeks of infection--and the odds of getting HIV from any single encounter with an HIV+ partner is something like 1/1000. That means that if you consistency test say every 3 months, then the odds of transmission before the infection shows up in a test is less than 3%(even if you were having sex with that person twice a month). Other diseases are a lot more contagious-but they show up in tests a lot sooner.

 

Basically, by using tests, you remove your chances of exposure to over 95% of the HIV+ folks _and_ the odds transmission from the folks that are infected but not HIV yet are pretty small.

 

If you consistently choose partners that in term get their partners tested, the odds improve even more.

 

Thank you for your analysis of the risk of std's.

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I'm concerned about it too, hence the reason why I don't swing. But that's not the main reason I don't swing; I just rather have sex with friends. :)

 

Thank you! I love that line :)

 

That prety much sums up our feelings on the matter. While we haven't actually experienced "sloppy seconds" yet...it is aomething Mr. F and I have talked about. We would love to find another couple that we are comfortable enough with to actually do it with....still looking, although we are getting closer to a decision :D

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1) Some argue that using a condom instils a false sense of security which increases risky behavior. Others argue that disease transmission is only minimized by the use of condoms and not negated entirely.

 

I look at it this way. My wife is an excellent driver. However, whenever we go somewhere together, I have to drive. Why? It's that "illusion" of control that I need. When she is driving and I am the passanger, I am a nervous wreck.

 

For those here who do oral without protection and insist on condoms for intercourse, I see condoms as the same. It provides the "illusion" of being "safe".

 

No full body latex suits and air masks for us...Skin-on-skin sex and creampies forever!!! :fun:

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I look at it this way. My wife is an excellent driver. However, whenever we go somewhere together, I have to drive. Why? It's that "illusion" of control that I need. When she is driving and I am the passanger, I am a nervous wreck.

 

Really? I just get nauseous. :eek:

 

(disclaimer: Amelia's an excellent driver. I'm just not used to sitting in the passenger seat. Especially with the steep and curvy mountain roads we have up here.)

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I hate using condoms and will only use them for new contact...Once we trust each other then condoms are not used because I like the feel of the penis inside me with no protection between us.

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My reply is to just go bareback with people you trust my wife and I go bareback with a buddy of mine who i have known since the 7th grade and will continue to do so with other people we learn to trust. We enjoy bareback a lot better than a condom

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We will go bareback with couples we know and trust (which to date number 2) and wear condoms with new contacts.

 

Frankly, we both prefer going bareback. It's more of a rush.

 

 

as long as there is a clean bill of health :) bareback is the deal....but if the other couple is leary protection is a must.

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my wife and i had a friend that was recently divorce they were together for 17 yrs i n a monogamous relationship. we trusted him and we were sure he was safe so we didnot use condoms. he was a min man with quick recovery i ended up with many creampies before it ended . i loved doing her after she was with him

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We play within a closed group of five married couples, including ourselves.  When we first formed our group, we all tested.  We are all in agreement that there is to be no sex outside the group, pretty much under penalty of death.  If you quit or leave the group, no questions are asked.  It could be you want to fuck outside the group or there could be a relationship issue with your spouse.

 

We all already were comfortable with each other, and after testing and closing, even more so - no condoms or activity restrictions.  We're all fine with alone and threesome play, and we watch each others children, so we (especially my wife) have much more sex now than just weekend play.  Because each of us has the opportunity for a variety of recreational sex, it's less likely that anyone will cheat.  Less than a married "monogamous" couple. 
 

Edited by Numex

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HIV is relatively rare among heterosexuals. HPV and HSV are relatively common. Condoms help against those viruses, but they are far from preventative.  

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4 hours ago, njbm said:

HIV is relatively rare among heterosexuals. HPV and HSV are relatively common. Condoms help against those viruses, but they are far from preventative.  

Statistics never tell the full story.

 

Behavior has a huge impact on probability.

 

Lightening strikes are incredibly rare when measured across the entire population of 330 million people in the US. However, standing out in the open on a golf course during a thunderstorm exponentially increases the odds of being struck. Doing so repeatedly would be playing Russian roulette with your life.

 

Likewise, intentionally sharing bodily fluids with multiple people who have multiple sex partners increases the risk of infection by a great margin.

 

There is a reason the Red Cross still asks questions about sexual behavior before someone donates his/her blood. They aren't being nosey. They are being responsible.

 

 

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We would not have sex outside our marriage without a condom. We understand poly or closed groups, but not rando other swingers. 
 

Thanks adamgunn for a more accurate call on hetero HIV. That’s about double what I thought. 

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We only have condomless sex with other two couples, our most closest friends, people we know for more than 7 years and we fully trust, other than these two couples we always use condoms.

We have been in the lifestyle for almost 8 years and during all this time only 3 men (including my husband) have penetrated me without a condom and ejaculated inside me, we feel a lot safer than many younger single people living “regular sex lifes”.

We all, all people involved, we are adults and we do understand the risks, we have discussed them and for us going condomless is worth the risk, personally I love the intimacy and the connection that only condomless sex give me, also I am a little of a cum and fluids junky, so the more fluids I can freely exchange with my play partner the most enjoyable the experience is for me.

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