Jump to content
TeamAniston

Felt something on his penis, not sure how to proceed

Recommended Posts

Met a single guy for a date recently. I really liked him. We started to play a little and when I touched his cock I felt a small scab on the shaft and a bump just at the base --not on the penis but like in the area around the base.

 

I know I should've asked him about it then but I didn't. I diverted the session back into a heavy make out with no other play.

 

I ask my husband's advice about it upon returning home and he offered up several explanations of what it could be- a mole (he had one removed from that area after all), razor burn irritation, an ingrown hair. The scabbed area on his cock he said could be from jerking off too much/too hard- he admitted to getting those sometimes in his single days when all he had was his hand.

 

I am not trying to make excuses for him but just really trying to look at both sides. It could be HPV or herpes (I dont think so though-- the bump was rather large for herpes I think--and not clustered). I'm more concerned about HPV but I wouldn't say the area was flat either- it felt like a raised bump- like how an ingrown hair or mole might feel.

 

It doesn't make sense to me that he'd expose his cock to me with a raging infection of some sort but obviously, I'm not about to take that chance. He also offered zero explanation for it at the time which makes me wonder. I also did not ask him about it though.

 

Since we were in a parked car, I did not see it at all. I only felt it long enough for my hand to glide down the shaft of his cock.

 

I'm scared to offend him. I know I need to bring it up to him (I will not play with him without answers) and I know he deserves the chance to explain it to me. After all, it may be completely harmless but I know it's my right to ask these questions and get answers.

 

Such a sensitive topic. I know that being direct and honest is the best way to deal with this but thought I'd ask others advice before bringing it up to him.

 

So guys, how would you like to be approached in this situation?

 

Ladies, have you found yourself in a similar situation? What a did you do?

 

I thought about sending him an email - I realize that's somewhat of a cop out but that way it gives me time to write out what I want and then gives him time to process it and decide how to respond.

 

Advice? Comments? Suggestions? All are appreciated.

Share this post


Link to post

I would just ask and take a look in the light. Ingrown hairs and moles are pretty easy to pick up just by looking. HPV will either be brownish or look like cauliflower. Herpes usually drains a little.

 

When in doubt.......Its NOT worth it

Share this post


Link to post
It doesn't make sense to me that he'd expose his cock to me with a raging infection of some sort but obviously

 

STD's get passed along for a reason, and a horny single guy may well take a chance you won't realize it than make up some lame excuse for why they can't see you being that would often be the end of their chances.

 

It MIGHT be nothing, I've had a zit or two myself and I'd guess most men do, but its just sex here and who really cares if you offend him, its your health.

Share this post


Link to post

If you like the guy then call him on it. As a guy, I wouldn't be offended if I had nothing to hide.

 

If he gets offended then maybe that's worth thinking about.

Share this post


Link to post

Ask him.

 

Ive had ingrown hairs, and a razor burn once when I snagged on some skin.

 

Ingrown hairs for me look like a red pimple, and then when you finally pop the hair out of there, they do scab many times. Fairly small scab though unless someone really makes a mess digging out the hair.

 

A mole removal is a possibility, that will be a big scab since it's a chunk cut out from the skin.

Share this post


Link to post

My advice would be to stay away from him for two reasons.

 

1-He didn't feel the need to mention it. You would think he would have because it was so obvious.

2-Without testing there is no way to know for sure.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

You can ask him if you want to, but I don't think it's going to help.

 

If it's nothing, he'll say it's nothing.

If it is something, he'll say it's nothing. After all, he didn't say anything about it before, did he?

 

My advice would be to stay away from him for two reasons.

 

That's probably the best choice.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Probably razor burn/razor bumps -- I've had that problem -- but you should definitely talk to him about it.

Share this post


Link to post

He may have Angiokeratoma. It's fairly common. Google it and you'll find a lot of info on it. I do agree with others though that this needs to addressed before any further play happens.

Share this post


Link to post

I'm with you that he deserves a chance to explain - given that we've already come up with a number of possible explanations...

 

I also agree that if he says it's nothing, that's not a good enough explanation.

Share this post


Link to post

Well, here’s the thing; no-matter how you do it, if you decide to proceed, you are never going to be able to get the doubt out of your mind and playing will not be much fun.

 

Think about it, I imagine all that wet creaminess you had when you first touched his cock quickly went away when you took it back to a make-out session, and during that make-out session, you probably could not think of anything else.

Share this post


Link to post

If it wasn't explaind at the time, then there is trouble in River City.

 

Wait until he contacts you. Then ask him about it.

 

If he doesn't contact you, then there is probably a reason.

Share this post


Link to post

Hello and thanks for all the advice. To those of you that told me to run without even giving him a chance to explain- shame on you. I like this guy, we have a connection - it is absolutely unreasonable and immature to not give him a chance to explain this and just disappear. In fact, I should've put my big girl panties on and just asked him when I felt it. This is such a HUGE problem in this lifestyle- people just ducking out without asking questions or addressing issues that are difficult or uncomfortable. Avoiding things that may be harmless or easily fixed is causing you all to miss out on lots of potential fun- just remember that. Man up, say what you feel and it may just work out in your favor. If it doesn't, at least you tried right?

 

I always try to put myself in the other person's shoes-- lets say I developed a nasty ingrown hair before a date and a guy feels it and freaks. I'd hope he'd bring it up to me before just assuming the worst. I deserve a chance to explain myself to you. We are all adults here. We shoudl be able to have open discussions concerning our sexual health.

 

Anyway, I emailed this guy about this and he almost immediately contacted me via text. He called me on the way home from work to offer his explainations (moles) and offered to get tested. I'd say that's an ideal response and he's clearly not hiding anything on purpose. Or yes, he's a really great liar. But I really doubt that's the case. This guy is active in the lifestyle, is at many parties regularly and well known. I can't imagine it'd be easy for him to lie to many people without people catching on and talking.

 

Obviously, I'll be checking it out more clearly but at this point I am more than satisfied with that explaination. If I don't trust his it's moles explaination after seeing them- I'll request the test. Thanks again.

Share this post


Link to post
TeamAniston said:
Hello and thanks for all the advice. To those of you that told me to run without even giving him a chance to explain - shame on you. I like this guy, we have a connection - it is absolutely unreasonable and immature to not give him a chance to explain this and just disappear. In fact, I should've put my big girl panties on and just asked him when I felt it. This is such a HUGE problem in this lifestyle- people just ducking out without asking questions or addressing issues that are difficult or uncomfortable. Avoiding things that may be harmless or easily fixed is causing you all to miss out on lots of potential fun- just remember that. Man up, say what you feel and it may just work out in your favor. If it doesn't, at least you tried right?

 

Thank you?

 

You asked for opinions and you got them. You seemed to already have had your mind made up so why did you ask? Next time just tell us want you want to hear.

 

BTW- We have not missed a thing by erring on the side of caution.

Share this post


Link to post

In the end, most of us make our decisions based on that which we want to believe.

Share this post


Link to post
We have not missed a thing by erring on the side of caution.

and

In the end, most of us make our decisions based on that which we want to believe.

 

Quoted for truth.

 

 

(Thankfully, I'm pretty shameless. So I've got that going for me)

Share this post


Link to post

I triple dog dare you to put your hand on his cock and not think about this thread. :lol:

 

(sorry-just having fun)

 

Good luck and we want to hear the hot stories!!

Share this post


Link to post
lovinher said:
Thank you?

 

You asked for opinions and you got them. You seemed to already have had your mind made up so why did you ask? Next time just tell us want you want to hear.

 

 

BTW- We have not missed a thing by erring on the side of caution.

 

I had not already made my mind up but I was not about to jump to the worst either (not without seeing and asking for further explanation). I was hoping someone else found themselves in this situation and could tell me how they handled/how the reaction was. I was not looking for people to tell me what I wanted to hear. I'm down with people telling me to be cautious but really come on- to just RUN without even asking him- that makes me look like a bitch (especially if it was over nothing). Plus then I miss out on the fun I could be having with this guy.

 

I was also erring on the side of caution- I still am. Although when a guy calls the doctors and gets an appointment for the following week to get tested I' m inclined to believe he's an upstanding guy. When he immediately contacts me (rather than avoiding me), explains things to me in a non-defensive way, reassures me that it is my right to ask these questions and he is in no way offended, I'm also inclined to believe him.

 

Had he avoided me for days (or just stopped talking to me altogether) or responded in a defensive manner, I obviously would feel differently.

 

I have seen photos and am even more satisfied with the explanation than yesterday. He's made an appointment to get tested and I will look at those tests even though I'd say I trust his explanations.

 

I know the naysayers will say -- you can use photoshop to fake a report -blah blah blah. Being in this lifestyle is taking already taking a huge leap of faith- sometimes you just have to dive in and trust people are honest and have your (as well as their) best intentions in mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Just a side note, they don't have a accurate test for HPV for males.

 

Couldn't the doctor look at the bump though? I know it doesn't involve test-tubes or anything but I'd be inclined to trust the doctor.

Share this post


Link to post

Mrs Aniston,

 

Just wanted to say that I think you handled the situation perfectly and with class. I was also a little offended by a couple of the remarks but everyone is entitled to their opinions.

 

Regards

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By HotCplUk3040
      Ok so this may be a bit taboo and yes there are plenty of issues that come with this… but our conversation (and fantasies) revolve around swapping and sex in this fashion.
       
      It might sound silly but is this frowned upon in swinger circles? Would we be blacklisted or is there a place for this?
       
      We wouldn’t be sleeping around and maybe hope to find a regular couple or 2 to have this fun with, but as a general rule what’s the community’s approach to those coming in and looking to have bareback sex?
    • By funstuff
      Hey guys,
       
      We're new to this whole swinging thing and haven't gotten started yet. The one thing that really bugs me is safety! Obviously condoms for intercourse are a given.
       
      I read an article the other day about how rampant mouth/throat cancer has become because of HPV transmitted through oral sex.
       
      Oral sex with condoms is just about worse than no oral sex at all!
       
      Don't know what to do... how do you all handle safety?!
       
      Thanks!
    • By Dont.Stop
      We are 40-somethings, less than six months into the lifestyle. But we've played plenty in that time. Met a couple a a party last weekend. 50-somethings, and plenty experienced. We got to talking and touching in the pool. While Mrs. DontStop and the male continued pool play, I led the female upstairs. Since it was obvious from the underwater action she was ready to mount me right there, I told as we headed up that we play safe. She said ok, but her husband didn't have any condoms.
       
      We played upstairs and later they joined us. After some time he was ready to mount Mrs and we stopped him and said "You gotta wrap it first."
       
      He didn't say much after that, and within in a few minutes he said he was taking a break and left the room, and us in a FMF situation.
       
      Did we fail here, not expressing safe play to him ahead of time?
    • By prometheius
      I thought it would be interesting to find out other peoples views on the subject of safe sex/being surgically safe. N8tureGirl and I have been in the lifestyle for just over a year now, and we’ve found that most of the males of the couples we’ve played with are not surgically safe. I am V-safe and as of this month, N8tureGirl will be surgically safe also. What I would like to know is: Why don’t more people address this issue? I do realize that there may be some people out here that might still wish to have children, but for the most part, if they haven’t had kids by now, what are they waiting for? After all, most of us here are 30 somethings or older. I have been frustrated by people, (men in particular), who seem to think that it should be our responsibility to make sure a pregnancy doesn’t happen. Condoms don’t always work, and most people say that they don’t like using them since it does change the sensations felt or not felt. To further my opinion on this matter, sterilization is much less expensive and uncomfortable for the men than the women.
       
      When we got into swinging, we didn’t think about the fact that we were going to have to spend thousands (literally), on having the Mrs. fixed so she could enjoy herself without that concern hanging over her head. We’ve been told by more than one man that he was afraid that having the procedure done would hurt. This is a WTF moment for me, is there no pain in bearing a child? What about the financial pain of raising an unplanned child, or worse yet, the emotional pain of terminating an unwanted pregnancy? To me, this smacks of being self centered and makes me want to tell the guy that he can play with us once he gets his business taken care of. Fortunately, that will soon no longer be an issue for us.
       
      I just wanted to hear other peoples' opinions on this issue.
×
×
  • Create New...