Since my background/education is in communications, I always assumed that the goal of good communication wasn't bluntness, but the ability to make people feel comfortable and confident... If your approach is off-puting and causing people to avoid communicating with you, then your communication skills need a bit of refinement.Originally Posted by Tempest419
Communication is not getting your point across - it is getting to the point. There is a "not too fine" difference.
It seems that they (husband and girlfriend) are communicating quite well - they are on the same page. And I tend to agree with her - unless there is some formal, agreed upon commitment, she is free to do who and what she likes. From the poly people that I know, there are different levels of commitment - and I am not sure that your level has been established/agreed upon by all involved.
Unless she is willing to give you that sort of power over her sexual "doings" then you really can't expect it. The reason she is avoiding talking to you about it may have a lot to do with the name "tempest"
Communication is a two way street - and the strong communicator knows how to establish room for everyone to share and be heard. My guess is she doesn't feel she has this sort of room. My suggestion would be to do just as you suggest - back off - and respect her as a person, free to do what she wants until such time that she agrees with you about the level of commitment in your relationship.