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81lizard69

Potential employer is someone we used to swing with.

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This is new ground for me. I am under employed at the moment and a new employment opportunity is becoming available to me. There is a very nice couple that we have met in some of our swing circles and the husband Runs a company and has talked to me about working for him. I am reluctant to consider the position. I know I am going all over the place on this. As they were not the best couple for us to swing with. We were very different. Nothing was wrong with them.. they just were not our cup of tea.

Has any one else been in a situation like this. I could sure use a better job. However.. I have never mixed business and pleasure and had it work out for where it ended well.

Any Ideas on what to do?

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Since you already know them from the LS, you could be forthright and just ask, or let the potential new boss, know that you don't mix work and pleasure. We know several couples in that situation, and even helped one of them get a new job.. worked well for them.

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Since you already know them from the LS, you could be forthright and just ask, or let the potential new boss, know that you don't mix work and pleasure. We know several couples in that situation, and even helped one of them get a new job.. worked well for them.

 

That would be a good way to go about this. I like the way you think..

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If you and the job suit one another, I don't see a problem with this, particularly since you aren't interested in ever swinging with them again. Since you'd be working for him, you have a built in reason for not doing so, btw.

 

I've had various outside ties with playmates, including professional ones, and it worked out fine.

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I've had various outside ties with playmates, including professional ones, and it worked out fine.

 

I have never had any ties with playmates other than social. This is new ground for me. I bet it will work out just fine. Swingers that have been around for a while seem to me to be a well adjusted group of people. Thanks for the input.

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We found out the builder of a house we had built, and his wife, were in the lifestyle. It outed to all four of us by a simple mention of a name. It, not only made the financial and building decisions easier to discuss, it led to some very good sex for all of us. There's just something so wonderful about how conversation is easier with couples you swing with.

 

But do be careful that you're not just being hired so that you and your wife will become intimate with them.

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My husband knew of a bi guy in the lifestyle and when he needed a job, hubby gave him one to help out during a busy time. Hubby made it clear early on even before he met him that it wouldn't go any further than friendship and the other guy was cool with that. The other guy has since moved on as his main employment is in the mines, but if he needed a job tomorrow, hubby would still let him have a job back if hubby needed the extra help. I must admit when hubby first told me about it I did wonder if there would be an uncomfortable moment for them but there was nothing to be alarmed about it. Because nothing happened and things were made clear from the start - win/win situation really. :-)

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The only way for this to work is to have a forthright conversation which ensures all expectations are aligned. It will squash any hidden agenda from the other party (if one exists) and give you peace of mind that you are all on the same page.

 

The time you spend on the tough conversation will be much less than the time you spend thinking over things if you don't have it.

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Very interesting post. Many years ago a gentleman who I used as a mentor gave me this advice "Never put your quill in the company ink" It has worked out for me over the 69 years I have been dabbling in the swing lifestyle.

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"Never put your quill in the company ink" It has worked out for me over the 69 years I have been dabbling in the swing lifestyle.

 

I was given this same advice by a professional associate forty-two years ago. I immediately understood the analogy and have taken it as profound wisdom. It is an operative statement for, at least, corporate America. I suppose it might be different for "the private sector". But I think not.

 

Makes me whatever happened to "Old Jim". Maybe forty-two years from now people will wonder what happened to "Old Mike", who dispenses similar wisdom.

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I am feeling like I am going to pursue the position.. I know them from the lifestyle and we have not swung together. We just run in the same circles. I know of the dont dip your pin in the company ink well saying oh to well. Its good advice. I am going to persue the job this week and will keep you updated. Alot of things have to fall into place for me to even go over to his company.

Thank you all for the kind responses.

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If they've made the option a possibility then obviously they aren't holding the fact that you chose to no longer swing with them as an issue and have moved past it and still consider you friends. I wouldn't worry about it and would see it as a huge positive that you don't have to worry about your boss "finding out you swing".

 

I have a friend who was recently offered a great job by another couple within our local swinger circle. All involved are swingers and the "boss" is one who does not hire blindly and from I understand is very very picky when it comes to who he hires. I know they worried initially about the potential overlap but they discussed it together and all agreed it was not an issue. As others have suggested, just be honest with them about your concerns.

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swinging is just another way of networking. and networking is a valuable asset to anyone and everyone.

 

I never really thought of it that way.

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Update.. The job never came through. I would like to add that I probably would have went to work for him it the job would have worked out. He was nice and when we played they were a good couple. I see them at the grocery store where we shop every now and then and we are still friends. Things might have worked out differently but I learned that if opportunity knocks..answer the door.

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