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Swinging with coworkers...

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So we know it is a general rule not to play with your coworkers at work but the wife and I just ran into an interesting situation and it got me thinking:

 

What happens when a couple you have ALREADY played with or are CURRENTLY playing with come into your place of employment due to job transfers, hiring, etc?

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Based on your post, it sounds like this is precisely what has happened.

 

I haven't heard of it happening before, either on this board or elsewhere. It's an unusual situation to be sure.

 

I think the main cause for concern in playing with coworkers is that after play has happened, there is potential for drama to erupt that could have negative consequences to one's job. If drama erupts with a couple you have no other connection with other than the lifestyle, you can disconnect from them, remove yourself from the situation. With a coworker, you can't.

 

Since you've already played with them (I'm assuming), you can't avoid part of the underpinnings of this rule; you've already played with them. What you can avoid is future problems, by deciding not to play with them again. That said, I think there's reduced risk here. If you get along with them well, and everyone's happy with continuing to play, and you've played with them several times already, it seems pretty unlikely that drama will develop.

 

It's uncharted territory. Can you fill us in on more details?

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Yes, this must be a rare situation, which makes it 100% sure of happening eventually. Sorry about your luck.

 

We would have approached the problem head on. Unless it's solved now, it will hang over y'all as long as you work together.

 

Talk with the other couple. They're wondering the same thing. All y'all should be involved in the decision of where to go from here, whether to live like y'all never played or to trust each other enough to fuck each other's brains out occasionally.

 

My guess is y'all will be able to handle it in one conversation.

 

Alura

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y'all ... All y'all ... y'all

 

Ok, who are you and what did you do with the real Alura?!?!?! :lol:

 

I've seen a lot of posts from you, but never one with "y'all" in it :)

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BBarnsworth, He is from Oklahoma. No matter how hard they try to hide it, if they come from Texas or Oklahoma its going to show up sooner or later. You know its sort of like Canadians saying Eh.:D

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Well, I can only conclude that you've seen few of my posts, B. I used a few more y'alls than normal; in this case there were four folks involved, requiring the use of "all y'all" a time or two...

 

Another theory may be that I sometimes Yankeeize my writing for better clarity and a more proper reply to those who, like yourself, have a better command of "the King's."

 

Good parallel, Ed & Bunny.

 

:)

Alura

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We have had something similar but not the same.

 

Laura and I own a few businesses. We have ended up hiring some people that we have played with in the past.

 

Our first rule if we hire someone that we have played with. All play with them stops. We talk to them as adults right up front before they are ever hired and explain the reasons to them. If they don't understand the reasons for no more play we don't hire them.

 

In our case it HAS to be that way. To many legal problems playing with people that work for you.

 

We still party at parties that have some of our employees at them but we don't play with them.

 

There has only been one case in many years that we ended up not hiring a girl because she could not understand the no more playing rule. We did find her a job with a competitor though that worked out well for her. They are not in the Lifestyle but know we are. :D

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Thanks for the concern, comments, and advice! However, it really was a hypothetical situation as we actually AREN'T in this situation, it was just something that popped in my head after bunch of coincidences lined up. Long story short, I went in for new orientation for a new job with a pretty large group. Durring the first break, a female comes up to me and outs herself as half of a couple we had been talking with but unable to yet meet.

 

We talked about it and it was decided that as long as we work for the same company no play will be involved...I am now looking for a new job ;):EG:

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Ok, who are you and what did you do with the real Alura?!?!?! :lol:

 

I've seen a lot of posts from you, but never one with "y'all" in it :)

 

Years ago, B, we had a thread about this subject, i.e., "how is the term 'y'all' properly used?" As I recall, the thread was a hoot!

 

:)

Alura

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We talked about it and it was decided that as long as we work for the same company no play will be involved...

 

I think that's almost always the right choice.

 

I fall in the same category as VegasLee on this issue. I had a friend of ours consider a position at my place of work. I let that person know that they would be hired if they were the most qualified (and that was the case) but, all play would cease as long as we both worked there. The job wasn't taken due to a counter-offer by the current employer, which worked out for all of us.

 

I have to admit I have a knot in my underwear when it comes to work/social life. I don't even have people I am currently employed with on my Facebook account. Former co-workers are welcome though. :)

 

Good question. Thanks for starting a thread on it!

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Guest rdy46227
Ok, who are you and what did you do with the real Alura?!?!?! :lol:

 

I've seen a lot of posts from you, but never one with "y'all" in it :)

 

Q: What's the plural of y'all?

 

A: y'all y'all

 

:D

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Well, I can only conclude that you've seen few of my posts, B. I used a few more y'alls than normal; in this case there were four folks involved, requiring the use of "all y'all" a time or two...

 

You're one of the people I almost always read if I'm skimming. Maybe my memory is faulty. Could be :) I just don't remember you ever using "y'all" before :)

 

Q: What's the plural of y'all?

 

A: y'all y'all

 

:D

 

And the plural of "you'ns" (which, is already plural) is "you'nses"

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Good parallel, Ed & Bunny.

 

:)

Alura

 

Well it was either that or admit that because I lived most of my life in AZ every so often a "Howdy" slips out here in Mi.

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OK, 'ya'll, it's cool to make humor about Oklahoma slang but please don't link our slang with Texas slang. (Yes, I'm originally from Norman)

 

Especially on the most holy day of the year in these two states!

 

And, as far as co-workers..., Two of our five swinging couples we experienced were coworkers. And, hey, they had as much to lose as we did and it was never an issue or any problems at work at all.

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I'm from Alabama where the use of "all y'all" is redundant, since y'all is automatically either singular or plural depending on who you are referring to.

 

But, anyway... to the question.

 

Wow, that's a good one. I don't know that I'd say you should disconnect and not play with them again. I think that's a judgment call based on the entire situation... and without more info I won't try to give more detailed advice.

 

Even if your only dealings with them have been swinging, if you've met them more than once you probably have a good feeling for how discreet they really are. That will play a lot into your decision as to where to go from there. If you decide it's not in your best interest to continue playing, just be honest with them and tell them you prefer to not mix business and pleasure.

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I'm from Alabama where the use of "all y'all" is redundant, since y'all is automatically either singular or plural depending on who you are referring to.

 

I've noticed that in the South, Julie.

 

But "Hick Okie," my "mother tongue", never uses y'all as singular. We might say, "Y'all come ta see us!" to a person who is leaving and is alone at the time. The invitation, however, is to him and his significant other(s). He would understand this. If we only wanted him to return, we'd say "You come..."

 

If we said, "All Y'all come," we're apt to be descended upon by the whole tribe. :eek:

 

In this case, "all y'all" meant the four of the folks involved, a savings of thirteen characters.

 

I'm currently teaching "Hick Okie" to a friend who grew up in New York City. :) I'm learning a bit of "Queens" English, too. What fun!

 

Alura

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