Cheaters calling themselves swingers!

We are finding more and more married people that are playing in the name of swinging without the knowledge of their spouse.

To us that is CHEATING...not swinging!

What's your opinion?

Of course thats cheating!! if the spouse doesnt know then thats not swinging at all!!

Swinging = all spouse know and are present(mostly)

Cheaters = spouses do not know whats going on behind their back..

Anyone disagree??

It's cheating IMO and cheating is the antithesis to swinging.

This topic is regularly discussed or debated on the boards, especially when a married man poses or admits to being single. There are very nicely written opinions already out there.

This one was a particular favorite of mine: My own opinion on cheating husbands

I can't imagine anyone will disagree - spouse not knowing is cheating! No question about it.

If it is done behind ones back then it is cheating and that is that. I don't think any of us would disagree with that.

Cheating, plain and simple.ANYone that says it's not, hasn't a clue as to what the lifestyle is about.

This is K (the male)

It is definately cheating and any couple or single that meets someone who is cheating is definately setting themselves up to be dragged into a mess. I can attest first hand to how bad it hurts when you find the other is cheating on you. My ex wife did that and that is why we are "ex's". believe me it is almost like your spouse died. It hurts that bad for the one left out of the loop and the trust is almost impossible to ever rebuild. I just don't want to ever be the cause of that kind of hurt to anyone.

Remember what goes around comes around. That is why we screen so hard to make sure we don't end up with a cheater! If they really want to be swingers they need to let their partner know and if the partner does not want to participate or give them their blessing to go it alone then they need to get divorced or forget the whole thing.

Yep, put me down for cheating.

I did see one profile where the guy actually had the balls to admit that he was cheating on his wife. We didn't respond of course, but I thought at least he is honest. Other than that its the "businessman" in Austin or San Antonio who has his wife's permission....

On the other hand, though. We are friends with a married swinging couple, and she is going out of town for a week on business. Her husband actually set up her date with a man, and they are going to have sex in front of the webcam while her husband watches! So, I suppose that it does happen rarely.

ShellyM - Please take a look at the post I just made: Couples Swinging Individually. My attitude is that if the other partner is aware and is "really" okay with this then it is not cheating. I can see some potential problems though.

We are finding more n more married people that are playing in the name of swinging without the knowledge of their spouse.

To us that is CHEATING...not swinging.

What's your opinion?

Yes, absolutely cheating. Why I believe cheaters like to call themselves swingers: to justify what they do, at least to themselves. I've never yet met a cheater that didn't have a million excuses and try to white-wash everything they do with BS. Calling cheating by any other name is BS.

Thanks to all for your coment.

Thats how we feel as well.

We belong to and help run a group for biker/swingers, the cpl that started the group have no trouble playing with these people or them being in the group.

We have no problem with rideing with them, just won't play with them.

So just another thing we have to keep n eye open for during group play.

If their there solo we don't play with ya (unless we know for a fact your single).

How about people that are married to other people but their swing partner is not their husband or wife? I guess to each his own but how do people feel about that.

How about people that are married to other people but their swing partner is not their husband or wife? I guess to each his own but how do people feel about that.

Unless the spouses of both couples know, they're both cheating. Cheating Swingers!

How about people that are married to other people but their swing partner is not their husband or wife? I guess to each his own but how do people feel about that.

I have to agree with havefuninsun - having a playmate doesn't make you less of a cheater... It simply gives you an accomplice.

If you are swinging without your spouse's knowledge and consent leave us alone, we very well may tell on you. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU!

We put this in our Ads and mean it.

We put this in our Ads and mean it.

I am not sure I'd put that in my ad, but it sure is ballsy!

oddcouple2841 said:

We put this in our Ads and mean it.

Interesting.

We take the opposite approach.

Who cares!

We had two really awesome threesomes this summer with two very fun and attractive women. (One actually was a vanilla friend... WAS being the operative word, I guess)

Anyways, both didn't tell their husbands/boyfriends.

We had a blast.

They had a blast.

This is their crime... not ours.

If a person is trapped in a sexually monogamous marriage and wants to play... well, that's okay with us!

We HATE drama and avoid it at all costs... but if someone wants to play and not tell... OKAY!

It's not our sin! LOL

(and boy did we have fun both times!! )

 

We HATE drama and avoid it at all costs... but if someone wants to play and not tell... OKAY!

 

It's not our sin! LOL

 

(and boy did we have fun both times!! )

A father drugged and then suffocated his three-year-old daughter with chloroform in revenge for his wife's infidelity, a court heard yesterday.

A BUSINESSMAN strangled his wife then buried her in the spot where he had sex with his prostitute lover weeks before, a jury heard yesterday.

It is alleged Michael Gifford-Hull murdered his wife Kirsi, 39, after a row about his infidelity.

The family of slain Prairie State College professor Velton Lacefield (pictured) says she was trying to get an order of protection against her estranged husband when she was murdered Tuesday night. Anthony Cole allegedly shot and killed Lacefield before turning the gun on himself.

Witbank - A 48-year-old age man appeared in the Siyabuswa magistrate's court on Tuesday in connection with the murder of his second wife and attempted murder of his daughter last Friday, Mpumalanga police said on Wednesday.

"The husband suspected his wife was cheating on him and did not believe that the victim's brother was on the cellphone. He went outside and returned minutes later with his licensed firearm."

Not worth it for sex imho.

I wanted to reply to this because this sorta hits close to home. My husband has always had this fantasy to have us swing with another couple, or (the all time biggest of all men fantasies) me with another woman. He went behind my back and got onto a sex website with personals and hooked up with all these people. I found it on his computer and was SO upset. He had several emails with couples looking for a guy, and I sorta think he was going togo meet them. Well after a major confrontation with him, we decided if this is what he truly wants to pursue--he should include me too!! I figured it would be better with me there, than him meeting without me. I checked online and read alot about swinging and did some soul searching to see if this is what I'd like to do. I decided I'd try. And we both decided if I hated it, we'd quit. He'd quit! too! I truly feel, if you are a couple, and one of you goes out and swings without the other knowing about it, it is definitely cheating. And I also feel, if that other couple knows he is cheating...they are wrong too. No matter how fun it may be. Because what goes around--comes around. Someday it could happen to you. Thanks for listening...

And I also feel, if that other couple knows he is cheating...they are wrong too. No matter how fun it may be. Because what goes around--comes around. Someday it could happen to you.

I agree with this 100%!

Thanks for sharing.

I have to say, I am worried about your introduction to swinging and I worry about his initial approach to the lifestyle, sneaking behind your back. Please go slow and be very cautious and wise. You have started off on the wrong foot (I think you'd agree) and you definitely want to make sure you are very secure in his motivations.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you two.

I wouldn't have even tried to swing without Mrs Spoo - and now having been involved for almost four years, I know it would not have been worth it. Sure - I love swinging (check out my post count ) but everything about "us" is so much better than even the great experiences we've had.

It is a shame that anyone would risk their marriage for something like this...

How about people that are married to other people but their swing partner is not their husband or wife? I guess to each his own but how do people feel about that.

Myself and my finance' owns a swingers club. We have those in attendance that are either married to someone else or in a relationship with another person. But that person does not WANT to swing, but does allow their, other, to participate when they choose to. This WOULD NOT be cheating. All is in agreement with the other.

We HATE drama and avoid it at all costs... but if someone wants to play and not tell... OKAY!

That's oxymoronic - with an extra helping of moronic...

You obviously don't avoid it at all costs, being an opportunist and all. Regardless of what it could potentially do to their marriage (you know how much kids love getting two Christmases!!! Yippeee) - and regardless of the drama it could emerge you two in - you had a good time and got your rocks off. That is fairly short sited if you ask me.

But hey - ethics aren't for everyone

Swingers that cheat are just greedy!

If you are swinging without your spouse's knowledge and consent leave us alone, we very well may tell on you. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU!

I feel I should qualify the statement above from my own experience and point of view. I personally know the pain a cheating partner can cause and believe me it is not just about the sex. My ex wife did this back in 95 - 96 and I have still not fully recovered. My son has grown up going back and forth between two houses because of this. We have not had the financial resources to provide him with as much as we could of had if we were still working as a team. Lots of anger and recrimination and every relationship I have been in since that ugly specter hangs like a cloud preventing me from ever completely trusting anyone ever again.

I never, ever, ever want to be party to causing the kind of hurt I have experienced to anyone and especially to the inocent partner and childeren of a cheating spouse. Sex no matter how good is not worth this price. Cheating also hurts more than the partner, it's reach also takes in the family, reletives and freinds of the cheater.

I put in the "we very well may tell on you." part because this is what a cheater fears the most, exposure. Once out in the open they can no longer have thier cake and eat it too. Hopefully it will make someone cheating on thier spouse think twice about cheating on us with a false ad and misrepresenting themselves!