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Cavemanbabe

Made a big mistake... pregnancy.

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So as you can see in the title a huge mistake happened, there is a tiny possibility that the baby isn't my husband's and is the other couple's husband, very tiny. Me and my husband wanted to go into this blind and not know anything because the possibility is so small but the other couple has another opinion on how it should go. I am not telling my parents/friends/anyone that I'm having a baby by another man, that's not happening, and the complications of it all, what is your opinion on how you would go about this situation?

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Ooof.

 

You might want to look into the laws concerning parental rights in your area. There is the possibility that as the genetic parent of the child, the other Mr might have certain legal rights and responsibilities. If he chooses to pursue those you may want to be "well armed" so the speak.

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Other than ego, I'd wonder why the other guy would want to know anything. When we first started in this hobby, both of us could still reproduce and a "mistake" like that was a HUGE concern. Then Mrs Doc got the factory removed and I had some plumbing work done and it ceased to be a worry. Besides raising an infant in our 40's, paying child support well into my 60's scared the crap out of me. Im not sure what the other guy is thinking and I wonder why you even told him but the cat is out of the bag now and you need some legal advice sooner rather than later. Good luck with the pregnancy but do see a family law lawyer this week.

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If this happened to me and husband and I were to raise the baby together as his, I would never tell the other couple involved.

 

As you have though, and as he wants to get tested, have you spoken to him about whether he would agree to terminate his parental rights and have your husband legally adopt the baby? My guess is that he wants to know now so that he doesn't get screwed if you and your husband ever split up and hubby says the kid isn't his so he's not liable for child support (causing you to chase your play partner for support, and potentially leaving him owing years of back support too).

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Other than ego, I'd wonder why the other guy would want to know anything.

 

Biological imperative. Living things are hard-wired with the desire to perpetuate their genetic code. How that translates into human though varies widely, but given that the one expression of that imperative is the desire to have sex with many partners I suspect that a significant subset of swinging males feel this imperative strongly. Another expression of that imperative is a strong desire to protect and nurture offspring. Logically, there is reasonable likelihood that both expressions of that imperative would appear together in a number of swinging males - probably to a higher degree than in the general population of males.

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Other than ego, I'd wonder why the other guy would want to know anything. When we first started in this hobby, both of us could still reproduce and a "mistake" like that was a HUGE concern. Then Mrs Doc got the factory removed and I had some plumbing work done and it ceased to be a worry. Besides raising an infant in our 40's, paying child support well into my 60's scared the crap out of me. Im not sure what the other guy is thinking and I wonder why you even told him but the cat is out of the bag now and you need some legal advice sooner rather than later. Good luck with the pregnancy but do see a family law lawyer this week.

 

I think I would want to know, for simple medical history. There are also well documented psychological issues of people that felt they never quite fit with the rest of the family. If it was my biological child I would want involvement, which always seems so surprising, but I never really understand why?

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If the chance is that small, I wouldn't have mentioned it to them unless things later pointed more definitively that it could have been his. Water under the bridge, move on, and congratulations.

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If it helps, we are praying for a happy outcome, no matter what it is. The most important thing is a child raised in a happy home.

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This question is very much a part of my life as well. One of my playmates became pregnant with my child (proven). The couple decided to raise her as their own, and I legally signed over my rights as the biological father. In return, I no longer play with them and they are no longer in the LS, and I am now "uncle Bob" to my daughter.

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As an adoptee, let me just say that the lies you all are formulating to tell these children and your family/friends will come back to haunt you.

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Also as an adoptee, your parents are the ones who raised you regardless as to if the DNA matches. They had a choice and they chose you to raise. Never slight someone who selected to raise a child, it cheapens the sacrifices that they willingly made.

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