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Hello everyone!

My wife and I are fairly new to the LS and actually just had our first couple meeting. We met at a bar, had drinks, got to know each other and hit it off. Then back to their gorgeous house and had a full swap.

 

Everyone seemed happy at the end of the evening and mentions of meeting again. Next day we send a text, and get one back. All is good.

 

The question my wife and I have and are dealing with since we are so new is: How soon is too soon to invite them out again? We would love their company again, because we had a great connection inside and outside of the bedroom, and would like another 'date' with them. But we don't want to seem needy? Desperate? I don't know what to call it.

 

And on a different kinda similar note, how often would you say is too often with one couple?

 

Thanks in advance for your insight!

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Great question! You don't want to play games, but you don't want to seem like a stalker. We really don't play with any other couples more than once a month. We don't keep track per se. We also have a pact that we have to have sex with each other more than we do with other people.

 

I expect others to weigh in quickly wisely and eloquently!

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If you really hit it off with someone, then I can see the new relationship energy leading to a repeat date in just a couple of weeks if everyone is feeling it at the same level. Eventually that urgency will cool a bit and you will slip into whatever routine is comfortable to all.

 

The second question is really just a matter of personal swinging style. On one end of the spectrum you have "once and done" couples who like to constantly seek out new playmates and just play once or maybe twice with the same couple, and then on the other end you have couples that are exclusive or nearly so with just one other couple. Neither one is more right than the other, it's just whatever you feel most comfortable with.

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We have had streaks where we've seen a couple several times over a couple of months. These are people we really enjoy, both in and out of the bedroom, and were among our closest friends in the lifestyle. It was mutually agreed on all our parts, and did not seem stalker-ey!

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As mentioned, it depends on what they are looking for. Was the understanding that both couples were looking for more than a one-and-done or a FWB? As for getting together again, life comes first (and it always should come first). I would wait several days and then touch bases again saying how great the last time was and ask them when (and if) they are available to get together again...just so you can also see if you are available as well. That kind of safely puts the ball in their court and you can just wait until they respond.

 

As for how often we meet: usually about once a month. Sometimes it may be 2-3 weeks and other times it can be 6-7 weeks, depending on 'life'. We usually get together more in the summer since we are attending concerts and boating more then, but it usually averages every 4 weeks. The couple we have been seeing for several years now...well we have truly become friends foremost, with benefits. Heck, who wouldn't like to have close friends that you can see (and touch) naked. Life is DAMN good!

 

BTW, congrats on a successful first time! Let us know how things go.

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I don't thing 2-3 weeks would be out of line for a second meeting. Congratulations on your first time!

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