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Are we going too fast?

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We have now been with our friends a number of times. I have adjusted to watching my wife having sex with our friend. Anyone who warned us not to do this with friends should know we have no regrets. I think the fun we have together and spilled over to sex fun. This weekend was a perfect example. After going out we went back to their place. My wife is having more fun exploring her new found bi side too. I am now more comfortable doing and watching and being with friends we laugh and joke and enjoy being with them.

 

We have now been invited to a Memorial Day party. I understand this is a yearly party that our friends have been invited to in the past. Though we live in NYC and we live a nice life, the party is in a very ritzy area on Long Island. Our friends have told us a few stories about past parties there. I have only heard about these types of parties and never saw myself as somebody who would ever think of going.

 

I like to think we are an attractive couple and in shape but can I really compete with the "beautiful people"? I know when your clothes are off it is a great equalizer, but is it? They told us not to worry, we will know them and another friend who is also going. Someone we have played with, with our friends and are friends of ours as well. I know my wife is attractive enough that she won't be left out. There will also be plenty of girl girl play. Don't know why I am apprehensive. I could have only dreamed of being invited to something like this before but are we going too fast?

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Your friends sound like interesting people. We had a great time laughing and joking when we played. We saved the emotional stuff for each other. Good for y'all!

 

The party could turn out to be fun. Y'all might want to take your own car in case y'all are uncomfortable but your friends aren't.

 

Good Luck!

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For some reason, your description of the party reminded me of "Eyes Wide Shut", in which case, don't take a cab. You never know what you are missing until you actually go. So go with no expectations other than having a good time and you will most likely succeed.

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You think Nicole Kidman will be there? That movie was weird and I hope it's not like that. If we go, we would go with our friends. It's a long drive but Uber goes there if we really need to leave. One thing that scares me is drugs. Not into it.

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Swinging always brings with it some anxiety, so I wouldn't be too worried about that. But, there's a difference between anxiety and apprehension. It's always hard to tell just from pixels on a screen of course, but reading your post, I almost get the feeling that this is beyond just the normal anxiety about fitting in, performing if you get the opportunity, etc. Is true apprehension what you are feeling? If so, I would try to really dig into why that is. It may be something solvable, or it may not be, in which case it may just be best to skip this one. Pushing past old boundaries is part of swinging, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't trust your gut either when it is trying to tell you something.

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If I thought that Nichole Kidman would be there, I would be there. The only thing that keeps me away now is that restraining order that Keith Urban took out on me. :lol:

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For some reason, your description of the party reminded me of "Eyes Wide Shut", in which case, don't take a cab. You never know what you are missing until you actually go. So go with no expectations other than having a good time and you will most likely succeed.

 

Eyes wide shut! That's what I was thinking too. As Michael Ironsides said in "Starship Troopers," "Never turn down a good thing!"

 

You really need to go, if only to tell the rest of us about it!

 

I think you will find out that when you get there you won't be able to tell the hoity toidy folks from the rest, meaning the middle, working class.

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Swinging always brings with it some anxiety, so I wouldn't be too worried about that. But, there's a difference between anxiety and apprehension. It's always hard to tell just from pixels on a screen of course, but reading your post, I almost get the feeling that this is beyond just the normal anxiety about fitting in, performing if you get the opportunity, etc. Is true apprehension what you are feeling? If so, I would try to really dig into why that is. It may be something solvable, or it may not be, in which case it may just be best to skip this one. Pushing past old boundaries is part of swinging, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't trust your gut either when it is trying to tell you something.

 

Anxiety, apprehension? We just had our first house party. Nothing like you are describing. No fancy house. A regular suburban house in an are I am not that familiar with. Friends of friends house. Regular down to earth people. My anxiety was more of hoping that it didn't get out of hand. I rather meet one on one and go to separate rooms. Here we were invited and my husband and I talked about really wanting to see what it was about.

I think you want to see what all of this is about too. I was told before we went that you ony do what you want to do. No! really works with people. I don't consider myself prudish, I have only been with 2 men since I was married and both were in the last year. Wasn't that active before I got married either. My first experience was great and the next day not as good. Part of me wanted to let loose, part of me was asking do I really want to. My husband listened and assured me that if I wanted to leave, we would leave. There was a post on my thread that at parties there was a lot of girl girl play, something I am really apprehensive about. At our party there was, so be warned if your wife isn't inclined. If you are worried about performance issues, I don't have an answer other than my husband worried and he tells me it was not a problem for him.

Go and enjoy. If nothing else you are going to a fancy party and no one care what you are wearing.

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Isn't the goal of these parties to NOT be wearing anything...then how do you tell the difference between the haves and have nots?

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If you are enjoying and looking to get to the next place, you are going at the speed you want. If you have doubts, the you are going to fast. We are not the party type but have gone to a few. If you do go to the party, you can still go at your own speed. You seem to be lucky in that you have friends you are enjoying. Not many people have that relationship. The party you are going to sounds like it should be great as long as you don't think they are better than you. You will all be equal. Well some people are more equal than others. Tricia and I have games we play just between us. We know it's wrong but we talk about what we see. I think everyone does. There will be hot bodies and not so hot bodies. Different stroke for different folks.And she does give me a poke when a well endowed gent walks by. It's human nature. Most important, have fun and only do what you are comfortable doing.

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I am not sure. Ok I am a cup size A girth size 6 trans type but I would feel uncomfortable going out of my comfort zone really.

Staying within my own league seems the best way to go for me. The beautiful people can really hurt you if you are

sensitive or insecure about some of your parameters.

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I hope you had a great time and your wife found what she wanted at a party like this. Though this is a good place to share experiences, please DO NOT share names on here. People who go to parties need to be discreet especially if they are recognizable. We all get a thrill when we see a star we know from TV or the movies. You have to remember all of those people have private lives as well. They enjoy the same things that regular people like and deserve to keep their personal lives personal, no different than you and your wife wanting to be discreet.

We have gone to house parties with business associates of Mike. My biggest fear was it ould get around his industry. We know these people are discreet but somehow men like to boast when they are with friends.

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yeah and if they had it in for you anyway it might be business suicide. Setting up a party to sucker you

in and expose you is not a paranoid delusion. Look at that 70s film The Sting. They might just be

setting up a fake sort of orgy/party of seasoned swinging vets just to expose you and bring you

down in business.

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My first chance to clear my head and tell you some thoughts. Did we go too fast? Maybe not but this was way passed what I have ever ever done. You never know for sure who all the people were, there were pretty upscale people, and we are pretty secure in our lives. This was a step up for sure. There is a great equalizer when all the clothes comes off but you can still tell. I will not mention anyone by name as there were people I have only seen in other venues. It was quite a setting. Valet parking at the house. My friend said it was to make sure no one leaves too drunk or high and causes an accident. When we got there, we weren't the first. People were having a good time, some totally in the buff (nice scenery) and others were wearing robes. We were told that there was a changing room and safe storage. We were all offered the same robes we saw others wearing. I took a robe and so did the Mrs. I was warned that I might see some illegal things there. I am a New Yorker and can't say I never smoked. I never did anything harder and certainly not any white powder. I did do one drug I never did before, Cialis. I didn't need it but our friends talked me into it. I could already tell, if nothing else, this was a great party. Food, drinks and mostly very good looking people. Even those who aren't great looking or my type, looked somewhat good. Did see some snorting and was even offered. Passed on it. Introduced to friends of our friends. I have to admit when we are being introduced, I was checking out the wives. I only hoped they were interested in me to at least check me out. I was kind of happy I took a robe. Atmosphere or Cialis, something was moving. We were mostly in the main part of the house and other than naked bodies, it was a just a party. Laughs and talking. It was at least an hour before I saw a pretty attractive woman going down on what I can I can only imagine was a pretty stoned guy. From there the "party" started. I think I would have been happy just watching the so many girls playing with other girls. I did feel like an outsider. I didn't know anyone really. The first person to hit on us was a woman who was more interested in my wife. My wife looked at me and I just gave her my go ahead. Watching my wife with a total stranger, a woman, was hot. How my mind works, my wife with a woman and I notice the diamond on her finger. I'm laughing now.

Yes, I ended up with more than one woman that night. I saw my wife with a few men, don't know how many she was with though. Were we in a different league. Maybe for one night. Did we go too fast? Well we went home together and last night we had great sex.

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It sounds like you did go to fast, now you need to go back and undo it :lol:

 

It's funny how before you do something it seems so frightening but in hindsight not so much. Thanks for the follow up and congrats...I guess you are one of the beautiful people now.

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A gr8 inside view of mistakes not to make if I ever get dragged along into one of these events. Thanks. I am glad you both made it back together.

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Yes, I ended up with more than one woman that night. I saw my wife with a few men, don't know how many she was with though. Were we in a different league. Maybe for one night. Did we go too fast? Well we went home together and last night we had great sex.

 

It looks like you had a good time. Did you have any private time with anyone you met? Or was it all in a common room. I am not a show type or exhibitionist. The few times we swapped I enjoyed the new sex partner. What I didn't like was knowing someone was watching. Even our party, with bedrooms available, I had some private time and then someone came in and joined. I think I enjoyed the attention the two were giving me. Somehow I also felt there was a competition.

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