Swinging with Two Couples

Still not fully calling us swingers, we are really swappers. We met a couple on vacation last year and swapped spouses. We were totally new to anything like this and they claimed to be. Looking back I can't believe we did it. I went with him and she came to our room with my husband. With just a slight hesitation, I had uninhibited great sex that was fun and erotic with a man I just met days before. My husband said his night was plenty of fun too. I often daydream of that first time. The following day was more of a swing we had sex in the same room. It was not the same. The first night was looking love making with a stranger, the second was sex. My husband and I often relive our first time. We have since met our new friends again. I still enjoy the private more than the group time.

We are now being invited to join these friends and their new friends. Our friends say that we will like the other couple. We are all fun lovers. I am just not sure how the hook ups would work. I have a new fantasy. Do I want to be with two men? I have come to grips with seeing my husband enjoy. This was a little problem before. Knowing and watching gave me different feelings before. We are sharing our future scenarios and the more we talk the more the thought of being with two people is getting exciting. We just don't know how three couples decide how things go. Who goes with who?

We've only been in this situation once before and it can be difficult. If one couple doesn't 'connect' with the other, it can quickly lead to 'odd man out'. Of course, for us having a connection is very important...for others, this isn't a problem. So I guess it depends on what kind of couple you are.

Oh, and what happens on vacation, stays on vacation...

Don't try to draw a Venn diagram. It almost never happens in any predictable way. I recommend you just go ahead and do it. There is sometimes going to be an odd man out. you just don't know.

We are now being invited to join these friends and their new friends. Our friends say that we will like the other couple. We are all fun lovers. I am just not sure how the hook ups would work. We just don't know how three couples decide how things go. Who goes with who?

Have you ever met this other couple in person? I highly recommend doing so before having an intimate party between all 3 couples. We have had a few instances of 3 couples meeting together only to not have mutual attraction all around. It can be awkward for those who aren't attracted to each other to be left alone while everyone else is playing.

Have you ever met this other couple in person? I highly recommend doing so before having an intimate party between all 3 couples. We have had a few instances of 3 couples meeting together only to not have mutual attraction all around. It can be awkward for those who aren't attracted to each other to be left alone while everyone else is playing.

No we never met the other couple. They live near our friends. I saw a picture of them and they saw a picture of us. From the pictures they seem attractive. Our friend said they are fun. We were told that they liked our picture and found us attractive. Pictures are just pictures. I hope we mesh on personality. I still like the 1 on 1 that we did before. When I was alone with him he made love to me. I mentioned in one of my past posts, when we had sex in the same room, it was sex. I think I should just let it play out.

Pictures ARE just pictures. We've seen pictures of some very attractive people who then had no (or worst, a bad) personality and pictures of people who looked...okay but had absolutely WONDERFUL personalities. For us, personality (or a 'connection') is much more important than how someone looks. I would want to at least meet before 'getting together' to see if there is anything 'there'. It doesn't have to be long, but I would most definitely want to meet first.

We have had fun with "friends of friends". It stands to reason that if you click with a couple, you may well click with a couple they click with. We have found that three couples are sometimes more awkward than two couples or four couples but our suggestion is that you give it a shot. In the end, what do you have to lose? Unless you totally hate the new couple, the erotic possibilities far outweigh the time risked.

We had a three-couple arrangement just this past weekend, when we were visiting friends (I'll call them "old friends", even though we met them only a few months ago) at their beach house. They had another couple over at the same time, who we had not met, but had corresponded with and seen pictures of (I'll call them "new-to-us"). As it turned out, we enjoyed their company as well as our other friends- we seemed to hit it off in person as well as we had in writing! I would not expect that to happen every time, but it worked out well in this case.

As to the question of who played with who... We had a very good day, where each of us played with both of the other spouses! At first, one pair of play partners quietly drifted away from the conversation and headed upstairs (my Mrs. and old-friend hubby), then another (new-to-us hubby and old-friend wife), leaving me with the wife of the new-to-us couple, who was the most quiet person of the whole group. I told her that we hadn't known them long, but I liked her, and would love to play with her if she's comfortable. And it turned out that she was up for that! We all had a great time, if the noises from the various bedrooms was any indication. Later in the day, we all went for Round 2, this time with the following pair-offs: my Mrs. and new-to-us hubby, new-to-us wife and old-friend hubby, and me with old-friend wife. Another excellent romp ensued for all of us! And I think the Mrs. and I each played with our counterparts in the new-to-us couple again during that weekend, so it wasn't a fluke!

Sometimes things work out well!

Thanks for some insight. We are both excited and worried about how this will work out. Mr S2P knows that I enjoyed my private time with our friends. He is fine with the separate rooms we did the last time. We don't know exactly what the other couples are thinking. We came up with a scenario of me with the two men and him and the two women. Maybe wishful thinking for him? For me an exciting thought as long as both men don't use it as who could be better. My fantasy is to have both men treat me as a goddess. I can fantasize. My husband has joked too saying he hopes he can satisfy and not get too excited too fast. We did download some 3some videos. The ones we watched were mostly one guy screwing while the other is blown. More raw sex than erotic. Also watched 'double penetration" or DP movies. I am not sure how limber any of us are. Last time there was some booty play, but 2 men? I want to meet the other couple. Think it will be exciting. I would also be happy just with our friends alone. Mr S2P had a smile on his face when we talked about him and the 2 women. I just don't want it to be a show off for the guys to prove who is more sexual. Like SW_Pa said, we shouldn't make a diagram. We should see how it plays out. As others have commented, we hope we all click.

I was wondering about what happens when more than 2 couples play too. We may be playing with more than our only partners we have played with. I wonder how many times I can go and how quick I recover.

I wonder how many times I can go and how quick I recover.

I would also go for it. Worst case scenario you play with each other. Not a bad prospect in and of itself. Keep us posted!

I would also go for it. Worst case scenario you play with each other. Not a bad prospect in and of itself. Keep us posted!

Or you can go home. Having sex with my wife is exciting and fabulous, and we enjoy it by ourselves.

Not being a fan of "parties", I think if you decide you want to meet two couples you will most likely find that things will just work....or they won't. For us, being with a new couple is exciting. That would have you and your husband switching with the couple you are meeting for the first time. That also leads to your mutual friends either being the odd couple out or deciding if they want to join either couple. You wrote you enjoyed alone time with the husband and it was different as a group. Some men will act differently when their wife is there or even when anyone is watching. Remember only you can control what happens. Your fantasy of 2 men might be more exciting than the reality. Maybe you can share your sensual side with one of the women. Enjoy and good times.

Our advice would be to meet the new couple with your friends in a neutral environment like a bar or a restaurant. If you click with the new couples as well as your older friends you can take things to the next level either later that evening or by making a date for another day. As for who goes with who, just go with the flow and the pairings will take care of themselves.

Just reading all the comments that were made. We did meet the other couple last weekend. Those who said don't plan it will be what it will be were right. My husband and I went through the possibilities. We had both agreed we would have to find an attraction with the other couple before going further. Physically my husband like what he saw in the picture we got. I was more interested in personalities and clicking. I personally felt it would be a great evening if it were just the original couple. Separate rooms like we did before. My husband was kidding me about the fun we can have as 3 couples and we should try to open up. Going there I figured I would have a 3some with 2 men. My husband joked about two hot and sexy women he would be with.

As someone suggested we did meet at a restaurant. The new couple were very nice, and we did click as a group. Sure there were awkward moments for all of us. They were very new to this too and we were all doing a 3 couple thing for the first time. They knew how we met our friends and they say they were friends for years but not in a sexual way. After a few glasses of wine I admitted how much I enjoyed my first time. Maybe opened up a bit too much. I mentioned that I was still uncertain about women playing. I know they had played from our conversation. I think we were talking too much for a restaurant.

We went back to our friends house. Some more drinking and more talking. Finally the ice was broken and our friend took me by the hand and we went to one of the bedrooms. Just the two of us. We started what we had done before. For me it wasn't sex, it was love making. My biggest surprise was within a short time I sensed someone coming in the room. I figured it was the new friend we just met. I was going to be with two men. It was the wife. So my first 3 some was with a man and a woman.

The night went pretty well. The men behaved themselves and though I had sex in a group it wasn't anyone showing off.

Thanks for the follow up. Great to hear that things went wonderful for all involved.

The first night was looking love making with a stranger, the second was sex

I am surprised that nobody said anything about this. You say this in more than one post. No judgement from me just curiosity. I thought in the lifestyle we have sex with people we meet and make love to our husbands. Is this not dangerous?

The first night was looking love making with a stranger, the second was sex

 

I am surprised that nobody said anything about this. You say this in more than one post. No judgement from me just curiosity. I thought in the lifestyle we have sex with people we meet and make love to our husbands. Is this not dangerous?

Hi

I have been asked this in a different thread. Everyone has a different take on the word LOVE. Most important, I am in love with my husband. I also love him, I love my children, I love my parents, I love ice cream, the food I just had. I loved the book I read and the movie I saw. I am in love with my husband. The love we have for each other is unconditional and is why I love to wake up every day. My husband and I quite often make love. He was the only person I made love to for many years. He is the only person I had sex with since we were married, until we tried this. Over the years we have made passionate love, we have had sex, and we have fucked. Sorry for the blunt comment, trying to make a point. Making love has been sensual, erotic and passionate. Sex has been fun and sometime animalistic. There are times it is a quick fuck before the kids get up, or mutual oral sex. My husband also likes when I jump in the shower with him maybe just a blow job. Making love is a way of having sex for me. It isn't the way I feel about a person. Making love, loving, and being in love are all different FOR ME. When I was younger I had sex with a guy because it was what we ended up doing. I was fucked by more than one guy who I though I was in love with. And I made love and had love made to me. Yes I did fall in love, head over heals with someone who made love to me. My husband!

I am still not fully into a swinging scene. I am not just looking for sex and I am not falling in love with anyone. I do like a connection. When we first met the original couple, the idea of swapping spouses for the night was weird to me and exciting. He made me comfortable and as I said we made love. The following day, it wasn't sex, it was fucking. He fucked me. He fucked my mouth and he he fucked me in front of my husband and his wife. I went along with it not sure if I enjoyed it. I rather make love.

Hi

I have been asked this in a different thread. Everyone has a different take on the word LOVE. Most important, I am in love with my husband. I also love him, I love my children, I love my parents, I love ice cream, the food I just had. I loved the book I read and the movie I saw. I am in love with my husband. The love we have for each other is unconditional and is why I love to wake up every day. My husband and I quite often make love. He was the only person I made love to for many years. He is the only person I had sex with since we were married, until we tried this. Over the years we have made passionate love, we have had sex, and we have fucked. Sorry for the blunt comment, trying to make a point. Making love has been sensual, erotic and passionate. Sex has been fun and sometime animalistic. There are times it is a quick fuck before the kids get up, or mutual oral sex. My husband also likes when I jump in the shower with him maybe just a blow job. Making love is a way of having sex for me. It isn't the way I feel about a person. Making love, loving, and being in love are all different FOR ME. When I was younger I had sex with a guy because it was what we ended up doing. I was fucked by more than one guy who I though I was in love with. And I made love and had love made to me. Yes I did fall in love, head over heals with someone who made love to me. My husband!

I am still not fully into a swinging scene. I am not just looking for sex and I am not falling in love with anyone. I do like a connection. When we first met the original couple, the idea of swapping spouses for the night was weird to me and exciting. He made me comfortable and as I said we made love. The following day, it wasn't sex, it was fucking. He fucked me. He fucked my mouth and he he fucked me in front of my husband and his wife. I went along with it not sure if I enjoyed it. I rather make love.

Love love love your answer. We all have our names and words for things we do. Also it is great you enjoyed your time with a new partner so much. The real man was the one you are with privately. Too bad he acted poorly in front of others.

What were you thoughts with being with a woman?

Enjoy and stay safe.

Happy that your experience was a positive one. Being a three couple party can be a problem if you are the third couple. It seems you like the intimacy of being alone with privacy. There are plenty of threads about pros and cons of same room and different room playing. I didn't see any negative mention of what happened when you were joined by a third and it wasn't a man. Part of our fun is discussing what happened after we went home. I am sure your husband has some story as well.

Your post took a detour with the Making Love post. You might consider making a new post with the same thoughts. I happen to think your way of thinking is great. Most of us don't get to make love in swinging. Me have sex. The L word shouldn't be used lightly and I think you made it clear that you love your husband. Being comfortable enough to make love to a stranger needs great understanding of one's self. You write that you are new to this and you already have the understanding to draw the line between making love and being in love.

What were you thoughts with being with a woman?

This was not the first time. The first was terrifying. I didn't want to do much to her. I figured this would happen sometime again. I was thinking more that any 3 some would be me with two men. It did surprise me when she came into our bed. I was very involved at the time and heard someone come in. The moment changed when I noticed I was now sharing. This was very new to me. I did become more comfortable know a woman was touching me. It did break the moment. I had thoughts of what I was expected to do. I think I could say it went okay. We shared him, and we did things I just had to get passed. I think being it was being done privately, not with her husband, my husband or with the other wife there was no showboating. I did things and I am fine with it. She was and is very nice.

My husband told me he wasn't that comfortable being in bed with another man. They worked it out. He had fun. There was no guy play but she enjoyed being with two men.

You don't need to have a diagram, but it would, IMO, be helpful to have at least some familiarity with all of the players. The logistics can be worked out as you go. Most people know how to drive a car, but you first must LIKE the car.

It is funny about the diagram of who with who. My wife is also hesitant about doing things with the wife. She is also curious with being with two men. Problem is I am hesitant being one of the two men. Being that the couple we know are our friends I told my wife if she wants to have a 3some with them. And being there is now another couple joining, I am fine with her being with the two men, if she wants to experience that. I just have a problem with being the second guy.

findinganswers, is your reluctance due to not feeling comfortable with MFM situations in general, or is it more about being just one of two M's with your wife?

She is also curious with being with two men. Problem is I am hesitant being one of the two men. Being that the couple we know are our friends I told my wife if she wants to have a 3some with them. And being there is now another couple joining, I am fine with her being with the two men, if she wants to experience that. I just have a problem with being the second guy.

I, too, am curious about this. Every MFM that we've had, Mr. Sun was one of the males and it was always a comfort to have him there. Not to mention the immense gratitude and love I had toward him during and afterwards for being a part of such experiences with me.

It is funny about the diagram of who with who. My wife is also hesitant about doing things with the wife. She is also curious with being with two men. Problem is I am hesitant being one of the two men. Being that the couple we know are our friends I told my wife if she wants to have a 3some with them. And being there is now another couple joining, I am fine with her being with the two men, if she wants to experience that. I just have a problem with being the second guy.

When I approached my wife about swinging she asked how I would like it if she wanted to do it with two guys... I said, " I get to be one of the guys, right?"

When I approached my wife about swinging she asked how I would like it if she wanted to do it with two guys... I said, " I get to be one of the guys, right?"

And she said...

findinganswers, is your reluctance due to not feeling comfortable with MFM situations in general, or is it more about being just one of two M's with your wife?

I am fine with her having an mfm. I just don't see myself cuddling with a woman while some man is also cuddling with her. I can see her having sex with her while giving me a bj. I don't see both of us penetrating her at the same time. Besides that, I don't think that would be so easy to do.

I am fine with her having an mfm. I just don't see myself cuddling with a woman while some man is also cuddling with her. I can see her having sex with her while giving me a bj. I don't see both of us penetrating her at the same time. Besides that, I don't think that would be so easy to do.

I think I see what you're saying. If I read you right, it sounds like more of a general disinclination to be in a sexual situation with another guy, especially if you and the guy are in close proximity. And you're right that the mechanics of a double penetration are kind of tricky, and do require both guys to be comfortable with incidental male-male contact. Hey, to each his (or her) own!

And she said...

She was not expecting me to be down with that. It was still a no go.