Traded numbers - Now he is blowing up the phone?

So New Years eve we met a couple late. They were interested in playing, but I noticed a bit of drama with her previously,so I subsequently declined. I also noticed as we were talking that she was pretty hammered/tipsy, which is another no go, so it was a good call. I mean I couldn't really have a conversation with her.

 

Still my wife and he exchanged numbers and since then he has been blowing up the phone. Two to four texts of a paragraph with my wife giving limited replies. The texts are kinda hard to read, non-sensical texts. It's also hard to determine how 'together' the couple is. He really never gives straight answers.

 

My wife included me in the conversation, he then went back to just texting her. We were using KIK, and his girlfriend has never been involved to our knowledge with the conversation, some weird excuse.

 

We are kinda used to a bit of flirty texts back and forth, but my wife and I are thinking this is too much. That is why I stopped with the online thing, it feels too much like work.

 

So we were hoping it would just stop, and it still might, but boy I dunno? You know a soft next so that we if we see them at the club next time we can share a good laugh, no big deal.

 

It is heading in us taking a more drastic direction.

 

When do you think we should put him on a 'block' list?

When we first meet another couple, We don't share phone or text male to female or female to male and we explain that's part of how we avoid any secrets. We often share numbers with same sex new friends and it's usually the ladies that keep things going. If one of us ends up with an opposite sex phone number anyway we give it to the other and delete it from our phone or if we are into opposite sex phone flirting we do it on each other's phone. That way if we end up with someone over doing it the same sex partner can ask them to cool it with more authority. Still once we get close with another couple everyone ends up with everyone else's number and ocassionally things change and we have had to ask to cool it.

 

In your current situation my guess is that you are right that this guy is not concerned about your couples approach. Since we do everything as a couple and expect the same from other couples we play with, we wouldn't let this continue in this way.

 

You have the right to politely say hey this is not the way we play. If we see you in the club let's talk more but until then we are not into texting. If he does not respect your request. Put the smack down. Tell him no more contact and block him.

 

If it creates a problem at the club you can tell people the truth and they will admire your integrity.

 

We are friends with a sexy unmarried couple that texts us now and then when they are headed to a club. They respect our decision not to play with them although we didn't explain all the details about their looser togetherness being uncomfortable for us.

 

Hope that helps and that you two will have more closeness as a result of getting through this situation together.

It is heading in us taking a more drastic direction.

 

When do you think we should put him on a 'block' list?

Don't bother. Mobil phone information cannot be mined as easily as home-phone information. So no big threat to your privacy. It will fade if it is ignored.

Don't bother. Mobil phone information cannot be mined as easily as home-phone information. So no big threat to your privacy. It will fade if it is ignored.

Google+ links your profile with your phone number...I know wtf!!

 

I found this out exactly the wrong way when a reasonably anonymous play partner should up in my google+ profile.

 

I know this sounds 'horrible' but you pretty much need to have no social media presence to not be found on the internet. I have done it with limited information on a few play partners. I think you would need to have a 'burner' cell phone to stay completely anonymous, and that's a lot of work!

A quick text saying that you don't think you are a good match and then block them. Nobody should have time for crazy...

Google+ links your profile with your phone number...I know wtf!!

 

I found this out exactly the wrong way when a reasonably anonymous play partner should up in my google+ profile.

 

I know this sounds 'horrible' but you pretty much need to have no social media presence to not be found on the internet. I have done it with limited information on a few play partners. I think you would need to have a 'burner' cell phone to stay completely anonymous, and that's a lot of work!

 

iPhone has an app that you can get a burner number that works through your iPhone and app. Don't need a separate phone. It's called Callmask. There are others as well such as Burner. Search for BURNER - DISPOSABLE PHONE NUMBERS and you will find a whole array of numbers. Also, you can get a google phone number that works through a Google app on your phone so it acts as a burner number.

Well, I dunno. From Google+ I get a lot of surprising stuff like "you might know this person". But it does not peg you to a phone number.

BLOCK, BLOCK, BLOCK DA BUM! Too weird or too pushy is too much. Phone block him/them and if you run into him again at a swing club don't encourage him or hook up with them.

 

Google+ links your profile with your phone number...I know wtf!!

 

I found this out exactly the wrong way when a reasonably anonymous play partner should up in my google+ profile.

 

I know this sounds 'horrible' but you pretty much need to have no social media presence to not be found on the internet. I have done it with limited information on a few play partners. I think you would need to have a 'burner' cell phone to stay completely anonymous, and that's a lot of work!

 

Google+ is an orphan Facebook copy by Google. I guess with andriod phone integration with google your real phone number could get eaten up and associated with Google+. In 2013, when I went android smart phone from my old 1/2 smart phone, I created a google account specifically for my phone and its apps etc. Its something like 2125551212phone@gmail.com for my number (212) 555-1212 (not my real number, of course!). I did this because I didn't want my phone contacts blowing up with the 100s of old contacts I've had for job recruiters, business contacts, etc via my "real" gmail account. My really important business contacts were already in my phone. Red and I also don't maintain any Facebook accounts because of my ex-wife. I'd probably want to sign up but not using my real name and only for business or event information.

Red and I also don't maintain any Facebook accounts because of my ex-wife. I'd probably want to sign up but not using my real name and only for business or event information.

 

People using different names on Facebook is more common than you realize, but it's sketchy. The only good reason I have ever heard is to separate people that know you from only social networks.

 

Yeah I suspect google+ and android have some kind of connection which is a good heads up.

 

NOt having a facebook because of an ex-wife? You know you can just turn of any kind off public profile right?

Kikonkrome,

We went without Facebook initially due to my ex-wife, and we understand that profiles can be private or turned off.

 

We also realized that one of our swinging acquaintances was less than discrete with her social networking. We didn't want that person friending our relatives and vanilla friends with the potential that she'd someday mistakenly or deliberately tell about our recreational swinging activities. Plus questions about how we know that person and HER friends.

 

While we are not doing anything illegal, the morality is ours (Red and I) alone to decide within our relationship. We would not want a conservative, active church-going, older aunt to be told by a distant acquaintance of ours via Facebook that "Econo is screwing other women than Red and Red is a dyke who has lesbian sex with women".

 

We both also have some boneheaded relatives whom we don't want as relationships even without swinging entering the equation.