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racers wife

Looking for ideas to help get things started!!!!!

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Hello just wanted to say first this is really exciting to have come across this board :).....My husband and I have been together for about 14 years we are in our mid 30's and have a freakishly good sex life. Now we have come to the point that we are ready to explore my ultimate fantasy which is to have a threesome with another woman. We have found our woman, we have had our long deep discussions on all of our thoughts, worries, desires and fears. We have a day planned to meet at a hotel room for our first time and this is a first for all three of us. She had talked about maybe starting with a game like truth or dare, but I'm thinking that seems a little cheesy. So I would love some ideas on how to help get this session started. Of course I see myself just hopping right in and taking charge of this situation, but on the other hand maybe a slow start might be a better way to go to help everyone settle in and relax, you know just get comfortable. Hope to get some really good ideas from someone who has already been where I am about to go

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We have on several occasions started out with a massage. We have a massage table and use coconut oil. Get someone on the table, possibly a light blindfold and low lights, and get some oiled hands on them. It is very erotic and relaxing, too. Once everyone has had a turn on the table with hands everywhere, we find the mood it right to get even more physical and intimate. Skinny dipping or naked hot tubbing is a great way to break the ice and ease into physical activity as well.

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First off, welcome to the Swingers Board, we're glad you found us and it's great to have you as a member!

 

You didn't mention the experience level of your playmate. If she is experienced, then she'll probably know how to get things started, which as you've brought up, can be one of the hardest parts. I may be wrong, but my impression is she's not real experienced and this is something new for you two also.

 

I think starting slow and working into it will be the best approach. Maybe just general chitchat while having a drink at first. Then, move closer to each other and start with some physical contact while still talking, but make the talk a little sexier, like discussing what everyone likes and doesn't like, what everyone might be interested in doing together, etc. That's a conversation that absolutely needs to happen, and even if you have had it already when you were first setting this up, it doesn't hurt to have it again just to make sure everyone is still on the same page when it's live and in person and about to happen. From there, the massage idea is a good way to ease into things, and then just let nature and sexual attraction and desire take it's course :) As mentioned above, bare skin and water are a great combination, so the hot tub or pool are good ideas too if those are an option.

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All three of us are new to this, we had a real difficult time even asking her. But once it was there in the open everything else came so natural. I think since shes becoming our willing participant my husband and I both shall treat her to an oiled massage. Thanks for the response

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We start with a massage too, relaxes and makes the difficult switch from vanilla a bit easier, once in the hotel room, we sit next to the other spouses and start touching. If everyone is at ease, we get the oil :)

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A massage is a perfect idea! Please do let us know how it goes :) And WELCOME to the forum!

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Many hotels have a lounge space with a fireplace and cosy seats here in Europe, I think it is the same in the US, been to a very few hotels there. Orders drinks and make yourself comfortable as a starter. Let him and her sit close to each other. We find the simple fact they can do that, in presence of his wife and in public, a very erotic start and tension is being build up before you even reach the room. After that, devote both your attention to the guest, let her lead the way and pace.

 

All in all, we find it hard to switch to erotic mode suddenly when entering the room and like to build up tension before to make it a more smooth transition. But then again, what do we know: we have only three dates under our belt :)

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Another way to get things started that has always worked for us is having the Ms. just walk up to the other woman and give her a big kiss. Things generally move pretty smoothly and quickly from there.

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Update: we spent the day at the ocean and rode go karts and what not, headed to our hotel we played a couple drinking games and before we knew it we were all naked so we didn't drink too much we played quarters and instead of taking a shot we did dares, which worked out great before you know we were all hot and heavy and everything came so naturally. We had a blast it was tons of fun would love to do it again :)

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Congrats! Playing games is always a good idea to start physical contact if no one had experience. If the three people laugh and relax, it only could end-up like a fun evening! :)

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Getting started was always a tough area for us. We learned a system that works perfectly. We start with a bottle of wine. 2 glasses of wine is the perfect amount to take the edge off and it takes long enough to drink them that everyone can get comfortable with each other. When she's ready, she just stands up and moves close to the guest. I've never seen anyone miss the advance. Remember to keep a couple bottles of water handy. Sex can be thirsty business.

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