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Sexinthetardis

Swingers - Just send a freaking picture already!

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So tagging off another recent photo-related thread, I have a slightly different frustration regarding pics. When we initiate contact, we open our private face pics. I figure we're basically saying, by emailing these people, "Hey we think we might like to screw you, would you have any interest in having sex with us?" and giving them the opportunity to see our faces seems critical to allowing said people to make an informed decision. I kind of thought others might think along the same lines. But the majority of emails we receive don't have any face pics attached and private galleries have not been opened.

 

Initially, I took the passive aggressive stance of just saying we wouldn't respond to these emails, but we quickly realized it was...well pretty much almost all of them. So now we go ahead and respond if we like their profile and if there are body shots that we find attractive. When we respond, we open our face pics and say "Nice to hear from you, blah blah ... we've opened our face pics for you and if you would do the same or send us one, we'll let you know if there is physical chemistry on our end." More often than not, we get a response back such as "Would love to meet" with STILL NO PICS.

 

At this point I start wondering....um, are you that hideous that you don't want us to see your faces? or are you that lacking in confidence? (everyone concurs that confidence is sexy right?) or are you that clueless? At this point they're now basically asking us, "Hey would you have any interest in having sex with US?" How the heck am I supposed to I know, I don't know what your face looks like! Are you planning on sitting through drinks and then nailing me all while wearing a paper bag over your head? Are you planning on clubbing me over the head and thereby rendering me unconscious the moment we arrive so I never get a look at you? Are you hoping I'll think, upon meeting, "Well I did shower and shave my legs, and we came all this way...I might as well go ahead and do this guy even though he looks like a troll." Are you thinking that I just need to meet you in person so that your winning personality can overcome what I might have otherwise perceived as a physical appearance that is not my type?

 

So at that point, we don't respond again. A couple of them have emailed us again, ignoring our non-response, and reiterating their interest in meeting...with yes, you guessed it, still no freaking picture :confused: Seriously, can anyone shed light for me on the thought process going on because I really don't get it.

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I sympathize. And I feel your pain. My wife and I eventually decided that this game was simply something that we would have to endure.

 

Coincidentally, just watched the Dr. Who episode for the first time (using NETFLIX) when the doctor met his Tardis in-the-flesh, in a human form. I thing that I might eventually begin to like the series.

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Once, a few years ago, we met this couple online. They said all the right things and when we exchanged pictures, they were perfect. We chatted some, then drove 150 miles to meet them.

A one bedroom trailer, trash everywhere, the property smelled like a pig farm. Yeap, it was them, the pictures were right, guessing they were taken 20 years before our meeting. Online meetings are very strange, we do coffee now and view the place with binoculars before we even enter.

Oh, it truly is a strange world out there

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We much prefer meeting new people in group situations (parties or meet and greets), totally done try to pry pictures and/or information through SLS. If we are sent a message we ask them to come by the meet and greet or if they have an issue with that we a dance club we will be on a Friday or Saturday night and to please stop by for a dance or two and say hello. If they don't show or there is no chemistry no harm done and a night not wasted and either party can exit the situation without too much trouble. Also if there are multiple people we would like to meet we can do it with one night at the club. If things go extremely well and people stick around then bonus, your drop-by dates can meet each other and maybe make a match as well.

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Just going through something similar here, we went to a party and a week later we get a message saying;

 

"We are planning on going to ***** on Saturday we have seen you guys there ....could not stop watching....but never formally introduced and would like to meet. if you are planning on attending maybe we could plan to say hi in person.

 

You guys are totally hot ..."

 

Great message, made us both smile and want to meet them, but there was a lot of people at this party and we have no idea who they are, so i thanked them for the really nice message and said we'd love to say hi, can you send us a face pic so we can thank you in person when we see you?

 

3 days and no reply yet, and I can see they've logged into the site everyday.

 

I guess we'll see on Saturday. :P

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If peeps aren't willing to share face pics then we don't bother continuing on with a conversation, especially if they urge us to use an email address or phone number to contact them. For us it is easier to move on cut our losses and find those who are open to sharing.

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Er, my sympathies and all, but (and I don't mean this in a bad way) you might be using too many words.

 

Instead of this:

"Nice to hear from you, blah blah ... we've opened our face pics for you and if you would do the same or send us one, we'll let you know if there is physical chemistry on our end."

 

Try this: Nice to hear from you, blah blah. We've opened our face photos. If you're still interested, please open your photos for us.

 

Yes, you should still be prepared to ask one more time. Sorry.

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Er, my sympathies and all, but (and I don't mean this in a bad way) you might be using too many words.

 

Instead of this:

 

Try this: Nice to hear from you, blah blah. We've opened our face photos. If you're still interested, please open your photos for us.

 

Yes, you should still be prepared to ask one more time. Sorry.

 

 

LOL Valid point. I've never been accused of brevity. They probably do tune me out halfway through. I will try to be more to the point when we do correspond.

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We much prefer meeting new people in group situations (parties or meet and greets), totally done try to pry pictures and/or information through SLS. If we are sent a message we ask them to come by the meet and greet or if they have an issue with that we a dance club we will be on a Friday or Saturday night and to please stop by for a dance or two and say hello. If they don't show or there is no chemistry no harm done and a night not wasted and either party can exit the situation without too much trouble. Also if there are multiple people we would like to meet we can do it with one night at the club. If things go extremely well and people stick around then bonus, your drop-by dates can meet each other and maybe make a match as well.

 

I mentioned your approach to my husband and we agree this is probably a much better means of going about it. Thanks!

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I'm the far other end but then we do not try to meet up for coffee and then have you back to our place to play so pics seem to be pointless unless you are collecting pics. And I do not want to feed pic collectors.

 

Tell us what your first names are, what party you are going to and we will tell you ours and I bet we can find each other to say hi to. Has worked many times. Then you don't like our looks? Hey, it's a party-have fun in whatever way works for you.

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I mentioned your approach to my husband and we agree this is probably a much better means of going about it. Thanks!

 

Thanks :) I apologize to everyone for the use of grammar in that post. I typed it up while getting ready to head out for a while and did not proof read it before hitting post.

 

... so last night we had our second date with a couple. The first date went really well and they set up the second date... they cancelled (via text) after we had already arrived and paid our way in. Never a guarantee! We were at a table enjoying a drink and trying to decipher why they cancelled at the last second when another couple came over and introduced themselves. We spent the evening getting to know them :)

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When we (I) find a profile "we" like we'll exchange more e-mails. It always ends up sending a G rated pic of both of us. If the prospect doesn't reciprocate we'll reluctantly end the experience.

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We are finding the one on one dates have a lot more issues are very difficult to set up. The group situation at a club or meet n greet is a lot more easier to exit if the chemistry or attraction isn't there. As far as not hearing back from people in a timely manner I am guessing usually one half of the couple is usually the one on the website corresponding. The one who is online likes a particular couple but the other half finally gets a look and says no way. Now it's an awkward situation to get out of cause you told them you wanted to meet.

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Our stand on it is that we will see a face pic before we meet you. If you are evasive when we ask you for one (or ignore the question) we move on. I have learned to give a little leeway to those who respond with excuses (we just got online, our pics haven't been approved yet, etc). If you require that I email you to get said pics, it's not gonna happen. we've actually met a few of these couples over the years, although we've never gone out of our way to do so. In some cases, we ran into them months or years later at a club and they reminded us of who they were. Honestly, most of the time we didn't feel like we missed anything. We only had one situation where we were pleasantly surprised. A brand new couple who hadn't had their photos approved yet emailed us and we responded with our usual "we'll be at XYZ on Saturday hope to see you there". On Saturday when we met a very foxy couple and they said "hey we emailed you guys" it took us a few minutes to connect the dots and then I was all "yeah you were the no picture couple! WOW!" In general though, our policy to avoid wasting time has been to only meet new couples at a swinger event that way if things don't work out we still have other options. It's served us well.

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We're one of those that don't share pictures (but our place doesn't stink to high heavens and no one ran away screaming). After releasing some photos for awhile and no one replying after that, we became concerned that our photos might be utilized for nefarious reasons. (You don't have to "download" photos from SLS to use them. Wind7 has a lovely utility called "Snipping Tool" which does a very nice job. We're thinking of using it to cut out photos of Johnny Wadd and Seka from the old days to submit as ourselves! LOL)

 

Get real, there's so many ways to con a mark and anyone who accepts photos across the Internet is a big mark. Group meetings or brief meetings for drinks where you can escape quickly if necessary is the way to go. If you're going to jump into the sack immediately upon meeting new people, you better be wearing those galoshes in that storm!

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We're one of those that don't share pictures (but our place doesn't stink to high heavens and no one ran away screaming). After releasing some photos for awhile and no one replying after that, we became concerned that our photos might be utilized for nefarious reasons. (You don't have to "download" photos from SLS to use them. Wind7 has a lovely utility called "Snipping Tool" which does a very nice job. We're thinking of using it to cut out photos of Johnny Wadd and Seka from the old days to submit as ourselves! LOL)

 

Get real, there's so many ways to con a mark and anyone who accepts photos across the Internet is a big mark. Group meetings or brief meetings for drinks where you can escape quickly if necessary is the way to go. If you're going to jump into the sack immediately upon meeting new people, you better be wearing those galoshes in that storm!

 

All you need is "print screen" and its been part of windows, since well there has been windows, SLS's protection is one of those things meant to make noobs feel good.

 

We watermark all our photos, with our screen name and SLS on it, which makes them pretty useless for any purposes.

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