My wife and I have been together now for over 9 years, and we've had issues over our 9 years together, always managing to resolve them, no matter what they were. Where the sticky issue is - prior to getting married with her, I had 'experienced' MFM, FMF - which I completely and utterly enjoyed - no issues. My girlfriend at the time enjoyed the moment, and we never felt threatened or felt that we would leave each other- etc. It was purely a question of having fun and playing together, and it worked.
Now- move forward several years. Got married, had kids, and the wife and I seemed to be moving in opposite directions sexually- different interests, and at times no interest-lack of desire. So, after discussing all sorts of alternatives, and me being opened to trying anything with her - you name it, I've tried it...one day, she asks me about my experiences with my ex-girlf. Swinging or anything related to this was taboo up to this point.
From her point of view, either she does something with me in the short-term or she doesn't see me in the picture...gets the feeling I'll move on, etc. Yes, it has crossed my mind.
Several months have pasted since that day, and we've managed to head out to a local swingers club, but as a couple, we have not crossed over that line. I actually backed away from it (*shacking my head*) - here's why: as we discussed things that we'd like to do, and just talked about 'rules' - she began to change - she became more aggressive about sex, about anything related to sex. She demanded to be fucked a certain way, and didn't see why she should let me swing with another woman. She also didn't want to swing in the same room. I'm sitting here today wondering, how did we get so hard core!? And what's fair about this or fun??
I'm always going to compare my current situation to the one I had years ago - and this situation is not fun. In fact, if we move forward, I get the feeling that we won't be together for very long, we won't care about each other for very long - am I misreading this situation?? - comments, questions...I need someone to talk to about this, any help would be appreciated.