Food at the Swing Club What Are Your Thoughts?

My lovely bride Kiko had the following comments about the food at the Clubs

Colonel Sanders in a swing club? Not very appetizing, and neither is his food. Cum and cole slaw, pussy and peanuts, do they mix? Not to me. You won’t catch me chowing down on the fried chicken slowwwly drying under heat lamps or any of the slimy mystery food congealing in the chafing dishes. Are you suppose to eat that and feel sexy?

 

At the club, the sex in the air gently wafts through the atmosphere, inspiring delicious thoughts and plops in the cookies, tarts and pies. The ‘sex air’ instantly transforms them into fat bombs that nobody wants to see. No matter how chocolaty and delicious these treats appear, they are not the treat our mouths are looking for. Crackers or carrots while some girl’s vagina is spread out on the TV taking a pounding from a giant dick above the table where I’m sitting? I don’t think so.

 

Yet, every time we go out to swing, there are the folks, sitting at the tables munching away on gobs of something wobbly and white. What is that anyway . . . cauliflower in clam sauce? Some folks come to the swing club for the snacks and not the sex!? Is this like going to Hooters for the food? I sure hope the sex at the club is gonna be better than anything found on the room temperature cheese platter.

 

Luckily for me there’s a double digit percentage of folks who never touch a morsel of the sex club grub. So I’m not alone in the opinion that sex clubs and food go together like gum and peanut butter. In fact, we’ve been to a club or two where there is no hint or scent of cooking oil. Guess you better find something else to eat. I’ve got a freshly waxed cuca!

What are your thoughts?

Personally, it doesn't bother me. It is a good idea to have food available when people are drinking, which is probably more prevalent than sex at a swing club.

Anywhere I've been the food is near the beverage area, far away from play areas. I like to have a little bite after playing.

The club we were at most recently had a very nice food layout. I love chocolate covered strawberries after sex.

We've been to a club that had a very nice food layout too. We did have a meal and it was actually pretty good. Not five-star dining, but I've had a lot worse in places that charged like they were five stars. The dining area was totally separate from the play areas, like in a different part of the building, so it didn't seem weird at all. The setup was similar to other private social clubs - dining area, adjacent bar, dance floor off to the side. Especially early in the evening when you are likely to be eating, you would hardly know you were in a swingers club. Later on, the dining area was more being used as spillover seating for the bar and dance floor, and by that time, food service was done so it didn't even feel like a dining room anymore. Pretty good setup actually.

Are these the exceptions that prove the rule?

Honestly a bit of something sweet I get. An exception, far removed, I get.

Both of these are pretty exceptional when we see food at the clubs, however. Fried chicken at the bar? Yummmm???

I am one who is instantly famished after a hard round of playing, I like to get a light bite and get back in the action. The clubs we have been to that serve food have the dining area completely separate from the play rooms so the two don't mix. The food hasn't been bad either definitely not high end but decent.

First, kikonkrome, let me compliment Kiko on a thoroughly amusing and witty review! I want to hang out with you guys!

That said, I can't completely agree with Kiko's thought about food at clubs. We go to one club (for local people like Ebonylehigh, it's the Korral) that usually has pretty decent food. They do keep the warm things warm, and the cool things cool! And we have gone to the club a little early in order to have dinner there, since the food is included in the price of admission. They do have a more-or-less separate dining area, and you don't get many naked people strolling by until well after dinner... So, yes, we eat in the early evening. But we are not, you know, bringing a chicken leg into the playroom with us or anything!

Now we have also been to clubs where the food was not so good, where we would happily rather have dinner beforehand than try to choke down the stuff they had congealing in foil pans.

We are compelled to admit that we are snobs. We have been known to dine at a real restaurant before presenting our pink and while bodies at a swingers' club. On one particular point I will speak for myself. It bothers me to sit at a table at a swingers' club and hear people saying, "this is a really great dinner. We would come here just for the food." I am led to believe their top dining experiences are Golden Corral and Happy Family All-You-Can-Eat Five-Dollar Chinese Buffet.

On the other hand, I do appreciate the assemble-it-yourself frankfurter, chopped onion, mustard, and hot-dog buns that the club north of us puts out after midnight.

We've only visited one swingers club that had food but it was really an afterthought. However, we have been to countless parties where food is available and it does help with those who need to balance their alcohol intake and have a little sustenance after rigorous playtime.

 

I do wish that cold foods would be put on ice and hot foods would be put in a crockpot or steno-heated pan. There's nothing like looking at cold appetizers that were supposed to be hot and wondering how long they've been out or cheeses that are lukewarm. Food poisoning, anyone?

 

So, my beef isn't that there's food but that it is not being handled correctly!

That is mostly our beef. Thee food is really not handled properly. Buffet with no protection, no temperature checks, it just get icky?!?!

I am one who is instantly famished after a hard round of playing, I like to get a light bite and get back in the action. The clubs we have been to that serve food have the dining area completely separate from the play rooms so the two don't mix. The food hasn't been bad either definitely not high end but decent.

Yeah I get that. We have had play partners that seem to have that exact same experience.

First, kikonkrome, let me compliment Kiko on a thoroughly amusing and witty review! I want to hang out with you guys!

 

That said, I can't completely agree with Kiko's thought about food at clubs. We go to one club (for local people like Ebonylehigh, it's the Korral) that usually has pretty decent food. They do keep the warm things warm, and the cool things cool! And we have gone to the club a little early in order to have dinner there, since the food is included in the price of admission. They do have a more-or-less separate dining area, and you don't get many naked people strolling by until well after dinner... So, yes, we eat in the early evening. But we are not, you know, bringing a chicken leg into the playroom with us or anything!

 

Now we have also been to clubs where the food was not so good, where we would happily rather have dinner beforehand than try to choke down the stuff they had congealing in foil pans.

This was mostly born out of a Saturday night where we just couldn't get anything fun going. Everyone we talked to just seem to be a bust?? So we began dreaming this up, and she put it on the computer the next day. It is suppose to be a fun read, as much as a statement about the food.

We are compelled to admit that we are snobs. We have been known to dine at a real restaurant before presenting our pink and while bodies at a swingers' club. On one particular point I will speak for myself. It bothers me to sit at a table at a swingers' club and hear people saying, "this is a really great dinner. We would come here just for the food." I am led to believe their top dining experiences are Golden Corral and Happy Family All-You-Can-Eat Five-Dollar Chinese Buffet.

 

On the other hand, I do appreciate the assemble-it-yourself frankfurter, chopped onion, mustard, and hot-dog buns that the club north of us puts out after midnight.

OMG...nail on the head. We have had the exact same conversation with people!!! Are you our doppleganger??

So all that being said I will now admit to enjoying some of the cookies. I must admit having a bite to eat while hardcore porn is being played all around me I have a hard time with.

It always reminds of this strip club I went to. There was a burly bearded trucker inhaling a rather large greasy cheeseburger next to me, while the stripper was hovering her vagina over her head. She asked him with that high pitched nasally voice only strippers seem to create, 'Doesn't my pussy in your face bother your appetite?'. With a big bearded greasy grin he replied 'No, no not all' and took another bite of his burger. One of those things you can't un-see and forget.

Now every time I see porn and food I am reminded of that trucker, not so much the stripper funnily enough.

Together Red and I have attended two separate clubs:

A local club which has a reputation for laying out cheap/lame food spreads on either part of the "bar" or a fold up table with cheap throw-away tablecloth and inxpensive styrofoam plates and either toothpicks or plastic forks (if any utensils required). There might be a crock pot item but the food is pretty much put out and that's it until cleanup at the end of the night or nothing is left on a plate or dish.

The house parties we used to co-host beat this place hands-down as far as volume and variaty food offered. See the pictures in my profile for examples of a New Year's Eve (higher end party spread)and July 4th (more typical regular party spread) for examples of our efforts.

A club in a resort city had an amazing catered-in spread with cloth white table clothes, shrimp in abundance, nicer plastic plates, and nicer platic utensils fork, spoon, knife. And this spread had dedicated tables with an attendant restocking and cleaning up at the spread for the set time it was offered which was from club opening to maybe 2 hours before club closing.

We didn't attend planning to eat (food) but it's nice to have more than just one or two grocery store prepared cookie and cheese trays and a bowl of chips.

Prior to my swinging years I'd attended strip clubs with meals offered but declined paying high prices for microwaved, mass produced, middling meals.

I think that it depends on a number of variables. If you are going to the club for an evenings sex play, and are not going to do much socializing, then I say you might just as well go to a good restaurant either before or after.

If you are at an overnight event, Well, you definitely need something to keep up your strength. In that case the food and the manner it is presented will assume greater importance. THEN I would worry about the sanitary arrangements and such. Plus , of course , breakfast .

House parties and resorts usually involve a certain amount of non sexual socializing, so the food is part of the entertainment.

So I guess you just have to make the call, as it happens.

But always remember what my old Uncle Ross once told me, "Never eat anything you cannot identify". This is why I never drink anything from a can, or any beverage that is colored bright blue. Nothing in nature is bright blue.

Also, Kikonkrome