Characters You Meet At a Swing Club!!

KIko typed this up and we had a good laugh creating it!

I hope you enjoy and feel free to add any of your own.

Elvira - Great looking girl. But she’s just there to flirt with everyone and show case her hot bod and new tits.

T.I. and Tiny - Cute little urban couple twerking and dancing on the pole all night. You know you want it. Good luck getting it!

Creepy Tarzan - Was probably good looking in another era. Now, he’s just a has been creeper. Makes a pass at everyone. Ends up with grandma.

John Belushi - The guy that is way too fat to fuck. However, he is happy to sneak into your three-way and fondle any available tits.

Ice Princess & Horny Devil - He dragged along the girlfriend to the club because he wants to have a good time but she is Not happy to be there and will tell anyone that wants to listen (if they cannot tell from her standoffish demeanor).

Dash Doll - The girl with her face glued to her iPhone and engaged in some ‘drama’ either in the club or on social media.

Mr. Prim & Ms. Proper - Dressed to kill in coordinated suits, these folks always have a couple in the queue to screw. You can get in line, but it ain’t you!!

The Klique - The 4 to 8 couples that always sit together and never speak to anyone outside the group for any reason. And no, they don’t want to know you.

The Playa - The guy there with two chicks. Stay out of the way because it’s about to go down.

The Watchers - Quiet couples that are just there to stare. No. Really. Just. Stare.

Two Lesbian Girls - Unicorns come in pairs (Pun intended). Good things can happen for those who dare to go there!

She’s Hot & He’s Not - Is she really going out with him to a swing club? She’s a dead ringer for Heidi Klum but he’s a dog, in a gorilla mask.

Dick & Jane - Ordinary folks that just want to do it ( and do!!)

oooh we forgot one!!

The Newbies - First time at a swing club, are they having fun?

Klingons -- They sit down at your table at the beginning of the evening and never leave you the remainder of the night.

Vulgarians -- Humor is beyond them and they make their swing decisions using unemotional, pure logic.

Roamulans -- They roam the hallways all evening wearing a look of being lost.

Roamulans -- They roam the hallways all evening wearing a look of being lost.

Wait that could be me

Stumbling Arnold/Amy: The usually overly intoxicated person who is bumping into your table spilling your drinks, rattling side to side like a pinball down a narrow hallway spilling his/her drink on you, or slipping on the last step up or down on the stairways bumping into you and spilling his/her drink on you.

It typically doesn't matter if he/she is with another person attempting to steer him/her in a straight line, you're still getting bumped into but you'll hear apologies from two people.

Stumbling Arnold/Amy: The usually overly intoxicated person who is bumping into your table spilling your drinks, rattling side to side like a pinball down a narrow hallway spilling his/her drink on you, or slipping on the last step up or down on the stairways bumping into you and spilling his/her drink on you.

 

It typically doesn't matter if he/she is with another person attempting to steer him/her in a straight line, you're still getting bumped into but you'll hear apologies from two people.

Classic, can't believe we forgot that one!!

Grandpa and Grandma Moses - yes they were there when the Red Sea was parted but are surprisingly hot when they are fucking, a real religious experience!!!

Just Not Ready Fred and Betty - That couple in a heated argument after going to far too fast, danger, danger, avoid at all costs!!

Grandpa and Grandma Moses - yes they were there when the Red Sea was parted