Jump to content
angelkin

Hosts not swinging - would you attend a party?

Recommended Posts

Curious how the forum members will respond.

 

My new(ish) boyfriend and I are hosting a swing party, but we're not playing. As a swinger who has been on the bench for the last year, I miss the connections and friends I made while swinging with my ex. I've stayed in touch with the old party crowd and now have invited them to meet the boyfriend and hang out. Awkwardness about the ex being absent aside, would you attend a party where the hosts were unavailable for play - but still encouraged attendees to party on?

 

We're interested in entering the lifestyle together, but not there yet. We've been exclusive a year and are living together - exploring the possibilities of the lifestyle with a new lens. I am experienced, he is not - but he has dabbled in the past and wanted to enter the lifestyle with his ex wife, but it was not her cup of tea.

 

I long to see my friends - we've talked extensively, and he's interested to meet them and enjoy the freedoms that being around sexually open folks affords...though we are just not ready to swing yet (maybe never, maybe someday - however long that takes). We are open to nakedness, flirting, exhibitionism, and voyeurism.

 

Given the limitations of no play with the hosts, would you still come?

Share this post


Link to post

Can't see why we wouldn't attend, never been to a party where play is mandatory. Lol. If they are your friends and experienced in the LS then surely they will understand the situation and attend even if to visit with you and maybe play with other attendees. That's our take on it.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

If they are your friends you've made in the past, I don't see an issue with it. We'd understand and would probably go, catch up on things and meet your new boyfriend.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Ready2dewit

Given the limitations of no play with the hosts, would you still come?

 

Wouldn't have a problem with it at all. I know a lot of people who have regularly attended events (but not hosted) with no real intention of playing, they just enjoy seeing their friends, like you mention. As long as the attendees know you are not ready for play yet because you are still in the communication stage I think you'll find that they'll be more than happy to attend and do their thing.

Share this post


Link to post

We wouldn't see a problem at all. As someone else pointed out, there's never a guarantee of play with anyone, so why should the hosts be any different? I think you all will have a great time too - seeing old friends, and having all your time and energy to focus on throwing a great party and not trying to split your time between that and the playing aspect of things.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I heartily agree with everyone else. It wouldn't bother us. In fact, out here, the bigger the party then the more likely the hosts don't play just because there's so much going on...keeping up on guests who come in, cleaning up, making sure everyone is behaving, etc.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

Agree with most of the others here. If its a small hotel party with a handful of couples that might be weird but if its a large event and couples reach double digits, then I would imagine that hosting duties may take trump playing.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Agree with most of the others here. If its a small hotel party with a handful of couples that might be weird but if its a large event and couples reach double digits, then I would imagine that hosting duties may take trump playing.

 

I think numbers are the key. 3 couples and 1 isn't playing, we wouldn't go. 10 or more couples, not an issue at all.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

I also agree with everyone that it wouldn't bother me, especially given the situation you described that these are your friends.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I think the yea's have it. A party is the potential for something to happen, not a guarantee. Never any expectations, just a place for like people to meet and then who knows...

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Your party? Hells yeah we'd be there. ;)

 

 

And yes, add us to the consensus that in general we'd attend a party where the hosts aren't playing. We've been to plenty of parties where we didn't play with the hosts and had a blast, so yeah, this isn't that much different is it? :)

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Yes, I would attend a party if the host did not play. Being a co hostess of house parties, sometimes you are too busy trying to get to know your crowd, so you have no time to play. Most of your attendies will understand your situation and will not mind either.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

We're going ahead with the party - albeit small. We're looking forward to mingling with old friends and have invited everyone to bring another couple that might fit with the group...that way everyone has other options. I will report back on how it goes :)

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

At the risk of sounding negative, I must say that I'd question WHY the hosts don't play before deciding whether to go or not. Do they not swing at all or just not at the party(s) they are hosting? If it is the latter, then no problem from me or Mrs. Naked. If they don't swing at all, I'd maybe wonder if they are voyeurs or one of that large number folks who want to hang around on the fringe of swinging but never dip their toe (or other part) into the action.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

In our specific situation, I am a former swinger and in a new relationship that's just not ready YET to get actively involved in swinging, but I miss my friends and the scene. But I totally get what you are saying...few people want to be live porn for those who won't play.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By dazanconfsd
      So, not ENTIRELY new, but not experienced either. Two swinging experiences under our belt and loving it.
       
      We were contemplating having a not new to the lifestyle but new to us couple over to our house on a weekend. We hang out and have a bonfire and just drink and BS, it's our version of bliss.
       
      We have a clean house, liquor, plenty of condoms, water bottles... What else should a good host have? Appetizers? Music? Towels lol?
       
      Seriously though, we're nervous for our second first date in 15 or so years. Any advice or stories appreciated. Thank you.
    • By TeamCalgary
      So, we are contemplating hosting our first house party and we are in a quandary!
       
      We have been to house parties in the past and think we have an end goal in mind - but how do we get there!
       
      Our concerns revolve around the following:
       
      1. guests - who do you invite (couples you have played with, couples you have met, couples you are hoping to meet) etc?
          Our thinking is that the event is likely not the optimal venue for meeting another couple for the first time, especially being the hosts we will 
          likely be distracted in performing our hosting duties. Do we encourage guests to bring along other couples unknown to us?
       
      2. environment - we have been to house parties in the past and they have been all over the map in terms of the mood/environment created. 
          It is our intent to create a welcoming, no pressure atmosphere that will encourage socializing, and, perhaps, lead to more. 
          Everyone knows why they are there but at the same time, no one should feel pressure. How to best do this from a physical perspective
          (room layout, furniture) to allocation of space (making private, closed door areas available). 
       
      3. pacing - creating a "flow" to the evening that encourages people to feel comfortable and act out on their desires. We don't want this to feel 
          contrived or artificial (such as telling everyone its time to now do move the other room and take your clothes off etc). 
       
      Those of you with experience in this area, we would welcome your input please. 
       
      Many thanks. 
    • By austxmark
      We are having our first house party here in Austin and we are wondering what games we can have to get things started? We would like a few suggestions. We are not looking for board games as such. More like games where there is no limit of how many players. Also we are looking for games where you do not have to atcually have sex as part of the game..we want it to be flirtly and sexually charged but not actual sex.
       
      Thanks for your help.
    • By SW_PA_Couple
      Having given my observations before on hosting house parties, I hope it will prove worthwhile to elaborate on a few points. Also hoping I will gain from other peoples’ experiences. Furthermore, my wife and I have changed our views on some of the wisdom we have dispensed in the past.
       
      - The invitation list We have never considered having an “open house”. We know a couple who host open-house parties in that they put “We are having a party on such-and-such date” in the tag line of their on-line profile. This means that people need, at least, to send an e-mail to them to ask about the street address of the party house. Seems to have worked OK for them. The parties are lively and pretty much free of trouble. But they do have an exceptionally large house. If a lot of unexpected people show, they have the ability to accommodate. Our parties are by invitation and we invite people we already know. These do not necessarily have to be people with whom we have played. We have not so many acquaintances that we have to be concerned about trimming the list to avoid overcrowding. At first, we had our worry that maybe nobody would show and we would be sitting across from each other at a lonely table. This concern was entirely unfounded. Typically, about half to two thirds of the people we invite accept the invitation. We have learned some lessons about making our lists. Single men and single women are among our acquaintances and some of these we can call true friends. But we have lost the attention of some very interesting couples owing to the fact that they are not comfortable being in the intimate company of singles. We trust our single friends to understanding that our house parties are now and will continue to be couples-only events.
       
      - Same room, separate room, private room, group-sex room, exhibitionism and voyeurism Swinging couples have different styles and we try to accommodate. We learned from the set-ups of on-premise clubs. The little innovation of our most recent house party was a room for the couples who like to stay close to their significant others for same-room sex, either the watch-and-be-watched kind or partner exchange. As our master bedroom is sufficiently large, we added a heavy-duty motorized inflatable bed that is the same height as our queen-size. The other two bedrooms also have queen-size beds – close the door if you want privacy. Those new-style battery-operated wax candles are perfect for mood lighting. Every girl looks flattering in this light. The front office and the living room both have convertible sofas. The front room and back-yard patio, newly-enclosed with a six-foot wooden fence, are for people who like to accept critique of their physique and technique (exhibitionists) as well as the those who like to watch.
       
      - Massage table A really great ice breaker; a really worthwhile investment.
       
      - Washrooms Full-size bath towels (we know a person who showers before and after every encounter), small hand trowels, small wash cloths, condoms, Cottonelle flushable wet wipes.
       
      - Food We believe it is the obligation of the host and hostess to provide food. Guests will not have interest in a sit-down dinner. Their minds would only be working on how to make a dessert of the hostess’ décolletage than mashed potatoes and gravy. So we put orders in at the events department of the local supermarket and at Edible Arrangements. We get a little something for everyone; a sandwich ring, potato salad, fresh fruit arrangement (no chocolate), cut-vegetable tray, dessert tray (with chocolate), cheese tray with crackers, peel-and-eat shrimp, dry-roast peanuts, chips and dip, soft drinks, lemonade. The dining room becomes a meeting place countering the tendency for men to congregate in the TV room to discuss trucks or professional sports and the women to congregate in the kitchen (not even dishes to wash as we use paper plates and plastic cups).
       
      What do you guys have to add?
×
×
  • Create New...