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New2swinging225

Ever been or nearly been caught by your kids?

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As parents to youngsters we have been pretty lucky that our kids are oblivious to our goings on, whether it has been playing with friends in the basement as they sleep on the top floor, or the innuendo's and slightly cryptic conversations we have with each other over coming plans or past experiences. However it is a constant in the back of our minds that this freedom will soon be coming to an end. So, what advice, stories or cautionary tales do you, the board, have for us?

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1. Don't play with kids in the house.

2. Accept that in all probability, if you do this long enough, they are going to figure it out. They may or may not come right out and ask or accuse, but they may very well know before you realize they know. You might want to think about how you're going to handle that should that day arrive.

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Our kids are older and therefore more alert. We don't play when they're at home, even at the club, which means we're taking a break for the summer. We also avoid all conversation related to swinging unless we're in our bedroom with the doors closed.

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Our oldest, who was probably 28 or 29 at the time found our profile on AFF.

 

Even though we don't post face pictures, she recognized our headboard and the wallpaper that was behind the wall. She came right out and asked us about it.

 

We told her the truth. She's not a swinger, but she was looking for some good sex way back then. She accepted it and it's never been a problem.

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All of our kids knew about it because we had been on the Radio, T.V. and in the newspapers along with standing in a Federal court room over it.

 

We felt it was best they heard it from us instead of being surprised by the press.

 

A couple of our older daughters have shown up at the club a few times. They were more uncomfortable than we were so they left early. :lol:

 

If you do this long enough, you will be found out. That is something that you have to decide if you can deal with or not. If not, take up sky diving. :hahaha:

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1. Don't play at home when they are there, or if they are older and can drive or have friends that do, anywhere in a several state vicinity.

 

2. Just watch what you say. The older they get, the more astute they are, but also the less curious they are. Teenagers lives revolve around other teenagers, "old people" like parents don't possibly do anything worthy of real interest.

 

3. Just be nonchalant about it and they will too. That we periodically go away by ourselves overnight has been going on since ours was little, so it really doesn't evoke much comment now. In fact, they will probably be just as happy with you being gone for a few days as you are yourselves :) If we suddenly switched from several times a year to every other weekend, that would be noticed, but other than that, just part of the normal routine.

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If you check my earlier posts my daughter found out in a round about sort of way. It hasn't been a problem rather opened a doorway of discussion. It may not go that way for everyone so if you can avoid it I would.

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A couple of weeks back we were headed to a theme party and had some in-theme fake ID badges. Our Mid-20's (adult) daughter saw Mrs. FLs badge and said "oh, you guys are going to a sex party..."

 

The matter of fact comment suggests that the apple falleth not far from the tree...

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Kids are very, very astute. As cplnuswing noted, they get less curious about their parents as they get older. But, never assume they are not listening. If you don't want your kids to know what you are talking about, make sure they are not around. One of our kids occasionally talks to us through a heating vent. To our knowledge, she's not listened in on conversations through a heating vent, but I'm sure the thought will cross her mind. So, we are extremely careful about how we discuss things swing related. An example; we were all in the car going somewhere recently. The conversation with my wife came to a point where referencing a recent play partner of hers was relevant to the conversation as it was having an effect on availabilities (she wasn't playing with him anymore, so more availability..) The kids were in the backseat minding their own business playing with something or the other, but I assumed they were listening...so I said to my wife "Now that the post office has closed down..." (which is a reference apropos to the swing partner, and one my wife would get) "...that day will be more available". One of kids (age 9) heard this and said "The post office closed down? What?".

 

As others have said, don't play at home, or if you do don't play at home while the kids are at home. If your kids are out and can come home, don't presume they'll come home when you expect them too, thus the next few hours are free, or some such. Else, you'll soon find yourself a pile of spaghetti with play partners and your kids staring at you like an Ikea commercial.

 

Your kids will probably eventually figure it out on their own at some point. It's not guaranteed, but there's a good chance they will. They're around you all the time. They know more about you than really anyone. Keeping things hidden from them is nigh on impossible. So, plan for the inevitable.

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We are lucky to not have kids and we wouldn't play at someone else's house if their kids were home. Way back in my early days of swinging, my ex and I were not as firm on this rule and I do remember playing with a couple with their friends at home. It was very "stressful" for us, worrying that the kids could come knocking. We also went out one time on their boat with them and their kids and I remember the other couple doing and saying a lot of things that were rather obvious. It was really uncomfortable and I think that may have been why we stopped playing with them.

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I was in a semi-cuckold relationship for awhile. On one of my first visits (I had seen them maybe twice at this time) I stopped by around Christmas to pick up something i had ordered thru them. When I got there, their daughter, late teens, was home. They dragged me into the bedroom and went down on me with their daughter in the next room. She watched us go into the bedroom. Like I'm going to get it up in these circumstances?!?! Well, OK, yea, I managed. But it was uncomfortable. She knew what was going on, even asked her mom if she was fucking me. Her response? "Do you really want to know?" UG

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Haven't been caught by the kid but this topic brought something to mind for me. As a kid I kind of suspected "something" was going on with my mom. I was raised by a single mom who for years carried on an affair with a married man. When I was a freshman in high school she met a new single man dumped the married guy and they eventually got married. Anyway, one time my mom informed me her and her new boyfriend were expected another couple over and I was told in no uncertain terms I was to make myself scarce and spend the night over at my grandmothers. The next day when I got home they mistakenly left out in plain sight a porno magazine with all sorts of group sex and gang bangs going on, this was about 1970-71 era. I got to wondering at the time what kind of friendly get together with another couple results in looking at group sex porno. Even at that age I thought it was a bit odd. Not long after that I accidently happened upon a hidden polaroid picture of my mom riding her boyfriends cock on the living room floor and it was obvious the picture wasn't taken by either one of them, it looked like it was taken from about 6 feet away or so. that's really the only evidence I ever encountered that made me think my mom was involved in swapping or anything of the nature. To this day I'm still not sure, but still wonder.

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Our late teen daughter asked how come she hadn't seen some (swinger) friends over for a while. I told her we had a disagreement and weren't getting together for a while. She wanted the "details" which of course I refused to give. She then said something to the effect of "I don't care if you are screwing them what happened". (In all fairness they were friends and previous employers of hers as well as their kids were friends which made her ask.)

 

I was blown away but just asked her where she had gotten that idea from. I thought we had always covered our tracks pretty well.

 

Kids are a lot more observant than we give them credit for.

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HOW ABOUT TONIGHT?

 

Mrs and I were in the middle of "getting busy" when we heard the garage open......jumped off the living room floor and ran upstairs. Shit.....what a mood killer!

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Our oldest, who was probably 28 or 29 at the time found our profile on AFF.

 

Even though we don't post face pictures, she recognized our headboard and the wallpaper that was behind the wall. She came right out and asked us about it.

 

We told her the truth. She's not a swinger, but she was looking for some good sex way back then. She accepted it and it's never been a problem.

 

Disclaimer- I don't have kids, so discard my thoughts at your leisure.

 

This strikes me as the ideal. I hear a lot of people say that they don't want their kids to know because their sex life is private. That logic has never really followed for me. It's not mutually exclusive to keep your children and arm's distance from your sex life, and to be open to your kids that yes, mom and dad have a healthy, active sex life. Allowing your kids to be aware that you have an active sex life, and that it involves things that go beyond "turning the lights off" doesn't sound like abuse or exhibitionism. It sounds like good, positive role modeling. We talk a lot about the importance or role modeling a big range of virtues for our children- being a hard worker, making your word your bond, being charitable, being educated and intellectual, why shouldn't we also role model having a healthy sex life? Keeping the fact that you're sexually active and enjoy a breadth of sexual activities well-hidden from your children doesn't strike me as accomplishing anything other than reinforcing negative views about sex.

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Disclaimer- I don't have kids, so discard my thoughts at your leisure.

 

This strikes me as the ideal. I hear a lot of people say that they don't want their kids to know because their sex life is private. That logic has never really followed for me. It's not mutually exclusive to keep your children and arm's distance from your sex life, and to be open to your kids that yes, mom and dad have a healthy, active sex life. Allowing your kids to be aware that you have an active sex life, and that it involves things that go beyond "turning the lights off" doesn't sound like abuse or exhibitionism. It sounds like good, positive role modeling. We talk a lot about the importance or role modeling a big range of virtues for our children- being a hard worker, making your word your bond, being charitable, being educated and intellectual, why shouldn't we also role model having a healthy sex life? Keeping the fact that you're sexually active and enjoy a breadth of sexual activities well-hidden from your children doesn't strike me as accomplishing anything other than reinforcing negative views about sex.

 

My parents modeled an affectionate and loving partnership as we were growing up. It made me feel safe and comfortable. I knew they had a satisfying sex life, but i didn't want to know about it!!

 

I remember at one point my mom was having stomach problems. My dad said something like she could be pregnant? I did NOT want to hear about that or think about that. Kids do not want to know any details of their parents sex life. Seeing them happy and physically affectionate was plenty in my case, and obviously I grew up to be a pretty wild girl with a very positive attitude toward sex.

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Is this more about a gross out factor, an embarrassed/shameful factor, or plain uncomfortable about talking about sex with the kids factor?

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I think my point is that there's wiggle room. Whenever the question has to do with kids and sex, I generally talk about good sex-positive guidelines, but the fact that every family works differently and as such some things will work in some families but not others is king.

 

Personally, my parents made me aware of things that they did sexually. It bothered me a bit in my angsty years, but in retrospect it really had a positive effect on me. It did a lot to teach me to respect all people as sexual and to make me not afraid to come to my parents (well, my dad) with questions and whatnot. It's one of those things I didn't like, but I'm now glad was done whether or not I liked it.

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Our kids are still in elementary school so we've had a few times where we had people over and locked all doors between them and us and didn't worry too much about it.

 

We also played at a couple's house who had kids a little older one even in middle school. We sneaked in after they were in bed and went right to the couple's bedroom where we played with the TV on relatively loud. At one point there was a knock at the door and my wife and I scrambled into the master bedroom! It was actually kinda fun / funny and there wasn't any fallout.

 

We do worry about when our kids get a bit older and wonder what we'll do to explain where we are every weekend until 3 & 4 AM and sometimes overnight.

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About a year ago I was packing to go to a house party.She said to me"If you going to go to sex party at least put your clothes in a different kind of bag". I was flabbergasted to say the least. I asked how she knew where were going,she said that when she was about 16 or 17 ,her Dad hadn't closed a web page fast enough and she saw it.She is now 23. She is fine with us swinging,she doesn't want to know anything about it. We do go about once a month to meet and greets so she knows that schedule and where we go. We played in someone's house one time when their kids were upstairs sleep and we won't do it again. It was just too uncomfortable for us. And I am a screamer so being quiet is not for me. I get kidded a lot for the noise I make,but it hurts to be quiet. Of course at home I have be quiet or scream into a pillow. LOL Just be careful on what you say around your kids,they pick up a lot more then you think they do.

 

 

Mareellen

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her Dad hadn't closed a web page fast enough and she saw it

 

Ugh, this one scares me to death, and I know this is going to be our downfall. One of these days we're going to leave up something on the computer or our one of our kids will see something on our phones (usually locked, but it only takes one time when it isn't) and then BAM the questions start coming!

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That's where diligence comes in to closing or minimizing the web pages when your kids area around. Also be careful of windows around your computer. I found out a few days ago that the window behind our computer,you can see the reflection if a light is on and dark outside. Our son who just turned 17 saw what I was looking at. Luckily it wasn't anything naughty.:lol:

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I found out that my mom and stepdad were swingers at about 10 came home from school i was sick, i saw my dads car in drive way so i snuck into house, expecting to catch them getting it on but found not only them but my aunt and uncle with another couple i didn't know in the nude making out. From that time on parents didn't try to hide it from me and brother till new baby sister came aloung.

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