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General Nusiance - swinger or cheater?

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Swingersboard has a forum entitled "Swingers and Sex Positivity in the News". Well, there is nothing positive about this story. And we have no forum about "How the News Media Can Fuck Up a Story". So I'm placing it into the "Swinger Topics" forum.

 

New details show how 'swinger' Army general's double life cost him his career

 

This person (General or whomever he thinks he is) is no swinger. He is a CHEATER. When will they get it right? Swing does not equate to cheat and cheat does not equate to swing.

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Oh for crying out loud. It's just a perfect storm when the pearl-clutchers and bad apples come together to create a story. This kind of 'journalistic' schlock is the result.

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Swing does not equate to cheat and cheat does not equate to swing.

 

This is a key message. Words do matter. "Consensual nonmonogamy" is an awkward name. When we use "swing" and ""The LS", this is precisely what we mean. When others use "swinger" as a way of labelling a cheater who visited swing clubs as part of his/her secret and illicit relationship, our alternative lifestyle choice is devalued.

 

The media are called to task for all sorts of inaccuracies. Why is this one permitted? Simply because a "family valued" media outlet finds it convenient to tar all sexual activity outside of marriage with a common and very black brush.

 

A better story would explore whether military leaders (from Eisenhower to Petraeus to the current situation) are at heightened risk for cheating based on the combination of power they wield, the tours of duty away from home, and the rigidity of their thought as to what their (often long-distance) marriage is about.

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Yes...the media pasting labels again. He was married and had 4 children...and a mistress that we swung with. That's cheating on his wife - squared. Why does the media do it? Because a story about a devoted couple who has decided to swing with other couples and end up having a wonderful time and a great life together (swinging is a team sport) isn't much of a story...

 

How many stories on the news end up with '...and they lived happily ever after'?

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Unfortunately not any good angles because of his lying about his affair, activities, both to his wife and for security clearances. He was removed from his post and job security clearances.

 

Supposedly this would have made him a target for blackmail but I wonder if it would have been different if it had been him and his wife swinging versus him and an affair partner swinging. If it was a married Army couple swinging would this have been a "don't ask, don't tell" type moment?

 

USA Today mentions him and his girlfriend being on Swing Life Style website.

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Yes you are right that he was cheating but the connection was that they went to swinger clubs.

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Yes you are right that he was cheating but the connection was that they went to swinger clubs.

 

That is a fair and valid point. To most of us we don't see it as "real swinging", but if I'm the average reader of this story and I have no swinging interest or experience, what most swingers think about it doesn't mean a thing to me. He's a cheating swinger.

 

Let's face it; most of us that have been doing this for a while have crossed couples like this before. They are a turd in the swinging punch bowl, but they are a segment of the swinging culture.

 

So yeah, IMHO they are swingers in the news. Just not the kind that 99% of us care for.

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Yes, he was a swinger and he was a cheater. Cheating trumps swinging. We've run across one other couple that was just like this: married man with his mistress and they swung. We very quickly took a 'pass'. We don't encourage cheating ever.

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Likely would not have mattered even if it was with his wife. Would still have the same concern if he was not out in the open about it and also would be considered conduct unbecoming an officer. Especially since he was using government property to communicate with her about the subject.

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Yes, he was a swinger and he was a cheater. Cheating trumps swinging. We've run across one other couple that was just like this: married man with his mistress and they swung. We very quickly took a 'pass'. We don't encourage cheating ever.

 

It's a matter of perspective. If you're selling newspapers, then the swinging matters and isn't trumped.

 

Most of us probably don't encourage cheating, but some swingers will play with couples like this, otherwise they wouldn't keep attending swinging events. Until the swinging world says "You're not welcome at our club", "You're not welcome on our ad site", etc, they'll continue to be that weird relative that is never invited to the holiday gatherings but still manages to show up anyway.

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...and it isn't news if the story ends with '...and they lived happily ever after'. I realize that to the world at large, this is a story about swingers, but to most swingers this is just a story about someone cheating on their spouse.

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I think we have to accept that the "vanilla" world has a difficult time with the idea of swinging. They see sex with someone other than one's spouse to be the the core of the problem. We see a lack of communication as the aspect that needs repair. The former won't damage a marriage; the latter is sure to.

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