Have you done things in swinging because your spouse asked you to?

I admit we entered into swinging because my husband wanted to. It goes back to when I was single and in college; I was what some might call loose and adventurous. I never hid my past from my husband. Over the years he would ask me about things. I think it was a turn-on for him. We would watch porn and he would ask if I ever did this or that. He had never asked me to start swinging but asked me what it was like when I was with another girl back in college. Over the years he hinted that he wanted to watch 2 women together. I always laughed about it. One day he asked me if I ever wanted to do this. I thought he was joking. But he wasn't. We didn't act on it at first. I hadn't been with a woman in years and my body isn't what it was. We finally agreed to try to find a woman. That's a joke. We got plenty of men answer an ad. The he suggested a couple. I said no right away. He said he would be fine just watching. He thought it would be exciting. He truly hesitated but said sure go find a couple. That wasn't easy either but we did find a couple. We had plenty of discussions about jealousies and the if's and what's. I told him if the other woman wants to, he could with her.

Since that first time we have met other couples. Most are brand new and all have women who are curious. I always ask, when we meet a couple, who had the idea, who brought it up first, and most importantly, is the woman being coerced into doing this. I think porn has made more women curious about being with a woman, but I also sense that some women were asked to do it to satisfy their partner's wants.

How about you?

In our case, embarking on the swinging lifestyle was DEFINITELY a mutual decision! In fact, we are not even sure which one of us offered the initial suggestion of swinging- but we were both immediately onboard with the concept.

I would not feel right in any situation where one of us were coercing the other into anything, or if it felt like one partner of the other couple were just going along with a spouse's wishes and not enthusiastic.

That said, we both feel free to express our fantasies and desires to each other. I guess it might go as far as a suggestion, but it is always a situation in which the other person feels free to decline.

I would say we got into swinging because of my wife. The subject was brought up by her friend, and I know they discussed it before. It didn't come out right away that they planned this. Swinging came up when her friend, actually our friends, said that they have been swinging for years. My wife knew, I didn't. I think, like most men, I had in my mind thought what it would be like to "do" our long time friend. She does have a great body. In my mind I questioned why my wife wanted this. A big fear was losing our best friends if something went wrong. It hasn't!

I would say we got into swinging because of my wife. The subject was brought up by her friend, and I know they discussed it before. It didn't come out right away that they planned this. Swinging came up when her friend, actually our friends, said that they have been swinging for years. My wife knew, I didn't. I think, like most men, I had in my mind thought what it would be like to "do" our long time friend. She does have a great body. In my mind I questioned why my wife wanted this. A big fear was losing our best friends if something went wrong. It hasn't!

I remember your first posts about this.

As men, I think we automatically size most women up as prospective sex partners very quickly and instinctively. Many women seem to tend to underestimate this impulse and assign meaning to it, but if men dwelled on all the sex we've *thought about* having...

In any case, we have a small group of "fun" friends that we're fairly open with about sex. Some of these are Mrs. EastInWest's closest lady friends and their spouses, and it corresponds closely to the group we invite over to use the pool during the short sunny season in the city we live in for most of the year who are all very supportive of the wives going topless. At least two of these couples are definitely swapping material and she and I have discussed it privately, but agree it doesn't *seem* like a good idea.

I have no qualms about the sex, Mrs. EastInWest doesn't worry about STDs with them, but the problem is less about ruining the friendship than it what happens if drama from their private life spills over into our public life. It's one thing for Mrs. EastInWest's MILFish Filipino friend to have one drink too many and blurt out that she heard I'm well-endowed and like to break out the fuzzy handcuffs. It would be a different situation if her marriage took a bad turn and, in the ensuing drama, the whole town heard that she knew from firsthand experience. It's bad enough to think about what would happen if our web browser history got out.

No we don't ask each other to do something they are not interested in doing! We also stay away from couples when it becomes clear that one partner is trying to push the other one into doing something they are not really interested in themselves.

There are just way too many men out there that want to push their wife into being with other women even though they are not even attracted to them! We get lots of them that contact us trying to get us to help convince their wife to try it I guess, because Ms Enhancer is an experienced bi woman. We just don't have any interest in trying to change someone's sexuality or playing with someone who isn't actually into what they are doing at all. If a dude can't just accept who his wife is and what she is into it's not our problem.

This might not be something I did "in" swinging but it was done owing to being involved in swing and owing to a specific request from my wife (bordering on a demand). We are on our way out the door and she stops me. "This is the last time you go to a party dressed like that. We're going to Macy's tomorrow and you're going to shop for some 'fun' cloths."

She was correct, of course. I was wearing clothing that were suitable for the office but rather boring for a party. After winning the clothing battle, she went to work on other ways to redecorate my life. She even convinced me to change my hair style. Not an easy thing for a man.

"I'm a man and I can change, if I have to, I guess . . . ."

SW_PA_Couple, the kinds of things you have been asked to do may be more in the category of "growth", rather than "things outside your boundaries". Your reaction to these suggestions is hilarious!

I had a girlfriend who wanted to watch me do it with another man. She had someone willing to do it with me. Someone that never met me.

She put a finger in my ass as she sucked me. It felt AWESOME! She progressed from her vibrator to dildos. It all felt good and she knew it but I couldn't take the next step to having sex with another man.

We just did something because my wife asked. We went to a very big fancy party. We had only played with friends to this point and now we have taken the next step, sex with strangers.