Having cancer, being single, and swinging. Like to hear female thoughts please.

I didn't know where to put this. It landed here. Hello to anyone willing to read this. And please by all means anyone can post. But I am looking for female thoughts too. First off, I'm high on med pot. You will read why if you continue to read on. I hope you will find this interesting. I've wanted to post this thread for a long time. I've started typing half a dozen times, and wrote three novel posts, but deleted them due to length. I just don't know where to start. Ok, I'll make it as simple as possible. I have cancer. I have brain tumor issues. I've survived two already and two brain surgeries to remove the tumors, 14 hours worth already but now have a third brain tumor. I will be having my third brain surgery Jan 22nd if the brain MRI on Jan. 15 shows tumor progression, basically growth. And I lost the larger upper lobe of my right lung too. Other then the fact I have this awful stuff. I am a completely normal man. I function perfectly. I have virtually zero issues from this at all. I get up and go to work everyday and start at 5 am. I'm up at 3:30 every morning. It IS a true miracle. I am not going to die, because I have the iron will not to die.

Would this scare off women from wanting to date me? For a traditional monogamous relationship or a swinging one? If you met me you would have no clue I've gone through so much. I function perfectly. I speak well, I am confident when spoken to. I get no help from anybody and don't need any either. I do all my own grocery shopping, laundry, dishes, take care of my 14yr old 50% of the time. You name it, everything, and I do it. Maybe my balance has decreased just a little due to inactivity other than doing the necessities more than anything. Not going to lie, of course there is some depression that comes along with this. But my anger fuels me. And I could get in shape easily. I'm not overweight. I'm thin, or slim. 5' 10" 170. Skinny arms and legs like a 12 yr old school girl's legs lol! My torso takes all the weight. Mainly my tummy. Think the Grinch lol! I have him and little Suzy Who and a Christmas tree tattooed on my arm lol! But I'd fight Conor McGregor in a second. He walks around about my size and is about my height when not in training camp.

Anyway, I think I am a good catch. I've had plenty of girlfriends and been in love too many times. Have had long lasting relationships as well. I'm a good man and a good father. I'd use the word great, but everybody always has room for improvement, right, so you see, I am humble and honest too. I am a relationship kind of man. I prefer to be in a relationship. I am deeply loyal and 100% faithful in a regular relationship. I'm a good friend, always willing to help a close buddy to me day or night regardless of time. Will miss work for a bud or my woman no problem if necessary. I'll always back a friend in a fight. Gotten in my share of fights. But I want to swing like a wild man. Because I've always wanted to and now want to live life as I wish, before it ends. Fuck societal views. If I want to share my woman with 4, 5 or 6 guys and she is good with it, let's get it on. No worries. My world needs a change for the better. I want it to be swinging that does it. Am I dateable due to my cancer and brain issues or not? My cock works just fine for a 48 yr old regardless of what I've been through. And it been a hell of a lot more than just cancer and brain tumors. My last relationship of 15+ years, the sex got crazy good AFTER the cancer hit me. Unfortunately our relationship ended during my cancer fight. So I fight it alone. But I have my son. He is all I really need. But I still have my personal fabrication / machine shop with a new in 13' cnc Haas mill to get organized, I have a custom fab shop and my business to still get built.

I have a shop already, it just needs to get organized. I need a forklift before I can move forward. But I am working toward it every day. Even planning on buying my own forklift soon enough. So why is it so freakin hard to meet women these days? The online dating is a scam. Been there far too long. Lots of interest, but the women flake out. I am very respectful and non pushy. Just friendly. But I love to flirt too, but not until it seems appropriate. I will joke to see her sense of humor though. Anyone care to comment on this? So I will STFU LOL! Thanks

Wow, it was not easy to post that. I struggled with sharing all this. This is who I am now.

Keep going, what a bitch...

On the fork lift side, you can lease one. Then use the profits from the business to pay for it. Businesses do that all the time, and nobody has ever asked me for medical records when I take out a lease. The other advantage of the lease, they are easier and more negotiable if you default. Mostly they just take a small piece of your ass plus the equipment back. You could even lease a used one to cut costs.

Also if you a serious about this project your budget and cash flow, pm me if you need to know what this is or need help...Do you have customers?

Did you lease the HAAS, that thing sounds super awesome!! Time to put some metal chips on the floor!!

On the female front read the pick up artist stuff, and Alpha male stuff. Check out Amazon, it helped me. Seriously, you don't have to go super Alpha but every little bit helps. YOU HAVE TO FLIRT WITH WOMEN!! That's just how it goes, either in the life style or outside of it...in the immortal words of the waiter at one of our favorite restaurants...You gotta spit some game.

Life can throw some crummy stuff our way, it's what we do with it that matters.

Yeah I think there are plenty of women that will go for you.

Good luck

Oooh forgot one thing, are you getting some psychiatric therapy??

Mental health is a part of our over all health and you are currently facing some really daunting realities. Might be a good idea to get a bit of help to manage the situation you are in.

Wish you the best.

As far as customers go, I have had interest from a couple tool companies on my tube rolling machine when I got to production. I want to do a fab tool, tool show to show my product to the market. People have shown interest in some off-road products and tools related to the off-roading world I've built. Roll cages, tube bumpers. Custom built things.

I know I'll meet a woman soon enough. Life, love just happens like that. I go to depression meetings and a cancer support meeting ever week when I remember. It helps.

Man, keep up fighting the good fight for you and your son. I'm out of the dating women market myself but let me give my experience, strength and hope to you.

I went through a sticky divorce the same year that a very close parent suddenly passed away. Once I gave up on trying to save the marriage, my parent's death really inspired me to put myself out there in the swinging environment. To live life honestly as I wanted and to refocus on other people again, not just solely on one person.

And then the lady I met (Red) gave me my masculinity back after 10+ years of getting cut down by my ex-wife. Did Red have some things in her life that were difficult or baggage? Yes just as much as I had/have.

And looks-wise, I'm just as much NOT a male GQ model as she's not a Sports Illustrated swim suit model. I can't tell you to be attracted to a woman to whom you're not attracted to but you might be very surprised of the kinky bent minds of average to funky looking women, and plumper or thicker weight women. With you being in Southern California the beauty/weight ideal might be difficult to overcome- I don't know about that. You'll have to determine for your own life if or how you could be open to a woman from left field of your traditional type of woman.

As a small business, sole owner, YOU will have to make the time to get away from fabricating to pursue relationship(s). You might end up with feast/famine times when you're business is going like gangbusters (race season preparing and ramp up times for big events, or emergency fab jobs during seasons, etc) and other times with more downtime. Any partner in this type of relationship has to accept this scheduling if this is what you want but then YOU have to make patrtner time for/with her, not just swinging time. I've got a vanilla relative, employed full time in professional auto racing and fabrication (NASCAR), who also has his own small fab shop, and he has the same time constraints and relationship difficulties with vanilla women.

Some good advice above as to the forklift acquisition potential. Also maybe see if you can access a used one outside of your regional area. Even with a inexpensive roundtrip flight to inspect it plus shipping cross country you might find one with a cheaper total cost with less hours 1000 miles away than close by.

I'd say not to give up totally on the online dating but be more direct with "vanilla" dating sites describing that you want a woman who is not interested in a monogamous relationship both ways without mentioning the "swinging" term. I've lurked a few vanilla dating sites over the last few years and have seen women advertise not seeking monogamy. I think women 10 to 20 years younger than us are more open minded to this concept.Maybe go after multiple FWB type relationships with the open mind to go LTR long term relationship with the right person.

Good luck and keep fighting!

Thank you for being so brave, open, and honest in your post. Not many people are able to do that.

I don't have any advice but I will say that dating in general is tough. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

I'm sorry your in a rough situation. I wish you the best and will be thinking about you.

Oooh forgot one thing, are you getting some psychiatric therapy??

 

....

I was about to say... if you don't have a close friend/significant other to talk things through with, a skilled therapist should help. It's just part of the overall cancer fight recovery.

I'm sorry I had overlooked this thread until now, but I still wanted to send you our best wishes and say keep fighting the good fight. A positive attitude and strong will are the greatest weapons one can have in any tough situation.

Regarding the swinging, have you thought about attending some clubs or meet and greets? Yeah, swinging as a single guy is not easy, but you certainly don't seem like one who will shy away from something just because it is going to be a hard go. Are all your swinging hopes going to come true the first night out to a club? Nope, not the first, or the second, or the third... But, keep at it, give people the opportunity to get to know you and you them, and if you demonstrate that you are a decent and respectful guy and understand swinging and how it works, success will come.

Wishing you the best of luck with everything!

Just thought I'd give this a quick update since I was here anyway, being a freakin pervert lol! I have a brain MRI in a couple of days. If that shows continued tumor growth or progression, like the last MRI did, I'll be having my 3rd brain surgery the following Friday. I'll graciously humbly accept any prayer anyone wants to give. It is greatly appreciated more then you know. I have my 14 yr old son to live for.

Just like the last two times, I will be just fine. I will walk this off like a Boss just like the last two times. If you read my story you know I walked a Costco warehouse store 3 days after my 2nd brain surgery where they went 1/2 inch into my brain to cut out the tumor. They took brain tissue too around the tumor as margins for rooted in tumor cells. Ive lost actual brain tissue in now 2 locations in my brain from surgery, and Necrosis from the radiation. I've had my brain cut in to, and survived 14 hours with my brain exposed. I have 2 incisions totaling 15",....yet I am 100% fine.

Totally ok. Not a single problem what so ever. My cock works like a champ like it always has. I see hear, speak, move and do anything I've always been able to do. I can still ride a wheelie on the right bike for distance. I can still do a 360 on my kids skateboard. Not a single problem. Insane. How can you explain that? I should be dead. But I am not. I didnt die. And I've survived so much more. Good news, I just paid my car and another large loan off since going back to work full time.

I'm in the least pain I feel like I've been in, in a long time. Other then my bad right shoulder. Probably could use surgery I'd bet. Tired of being cut open honestly though. It may or may not ever get fixed. Oh well. You just suck it up and deal with the pain evertime you move it. Its only terrible pain lol.....ohh the grinding and popping and clicking. Brutal. Yeah...it hurts. But I got things to do. I don't have time to take off work to deal with my shoulder when I'm possibly having brain surgery in ten days.

I've also been progressing on my machine shop. I started clearing and organizing. Working of finishing the shed I started building when I was at my house before renting my shop space. Sorry for the ramble. I'm a little...or a lot high lol!

Hoping the upcoming MRI doesn't show any growth!

Thank you, appreciated. Meee tooo!

Just thought I'd share in this thread rather then make another. I'm having my 3rd brain surgery to deal with my 3rd brain tumor. No date set yet, met with my neurosurgeon just yesterday. But clearly there is tumor growth even after radiation. It will be in days up to two weeks. I'm starting trade school in May so I don't have much time to recover. Told then lets get this done asap. This surgery is going to be a Laser surgery. Less invasive. I just know I Will be in trade school in may no matter what. I need shoulder surgery too but that will have to wait. Ahh the pains of getting older.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

Wishing you a smooth procedure and speedy recovery!

Just a little update. I survived my last brain surgery on April 21st 16'. My 3rd surgery for a total of 19 hours of brain surgery. 31 hours of total cancer surgery. I will be having my 4th brain surgery this coming Tuesday. I had seizures last week. More brain tumors were found. A 4th tumor requiring as quickly planned surgery as possible. Its insane I am still alive with surviving so many tumors. And I function just fine still.