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1sttimeswingrs

First experience - new or experienced couple?

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I think it would be better to have your first swinging experience with an experienced couple. An experienced couple will understand any nervousness or hesitations you might have, and may know a thing or two about how to get past that! People who have done this before will probably be better at making the sometimes-awkward transition from talking about your jobs and kids, to getting naked and playing.

 

By contrast, another newbie couple could be fumbling around, unsure whether they even want to do this. The potential for a last-second change of heart or a burst of jealousy (also known as drama) is doubled with another new couple involved.

 

So in my opinion, it is much better to let an experienced couple, who is sensitive and respectful, show you the ropes. Good luck!

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At the time my wife and I first started into swing, we fumbled and stumbled. We became so frustrated that we had decided to quit. We were then contacted by a well-tested couple who lived in Ohio. They showed us the way.

 

Enthusiasm sometimes overcomes unfamiliarity. But learning from the accomplished will probably give you a smoother ride.

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That was my first thought, being with an experienced couple. But we also are hoping to find that right couple that we can continue being with from time to time instead of being with different couples from time to time. Is being with just one couple and also being friends with them easy to find? Advice?

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And we know all about nervousness and hesitations. My husband and I had our first threesome, FMF, about three years ago with a good friend of ours and had those kinds of feelings. But it was awesome and as soon as we got started all those feelings of nervousness and hesitations disappeared! My husband and I never felt more connected to each other in 10 years of marriage then we did while experiencing the threesome! Also was my first with a woman. There was absolutely no jealousy, no one was ever uncomfortable with anything we did, none of the rules were broken, and it was beyond amazing!! Am I going to have the same worried feelings I did about the threesome with this being with another couple?? Gosh, so many questions!!

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Our first swing experience was with a newbie couple. The attractions were there and it took until the 3rd couples date before were actually swapped partners back and forth. Later we found that it is somewhat unusual that two newbie couples come together and trade partners. We all are still good friends and get together for 4 somes and three somes depending on schedules...

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We started with a newbie couple. The positive side of that approach was that no-one was in a hurry and we did not feel any pressure to 'perform'. And we were helping each other finding our way. Negative side is that nobody has experience so it is more a case of the blind helping the crippled, as we say in Dutch. Now, after almost a year, we can say the choice was not a good one for us. Although we have met a great couple in the process who became our best vanilla friends too.

 

I'm afraid it is not a clear choice, however, and it depends greatly on personal preferences in my humble opinion.

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MrDiscover is correct, it's not a clear choice. We too started with a new couple, and it really didn't go all that well. It wasn't terrible, there wasn't any drama, and so on; as mentioned above, more a case of the blind trying to lean the blind and as a result, not everyone got where they wanted to go. Our second experience was with an experienced couple and went much better. They were doing the leading, but while still keeping in mind that we were new, and that went much much better. Part of that may have been us since it was our second rather than our first, and we had learned some things along the way, but I give them most of the credit.

 

If I had to pick the ideal situation I think it would be the experienced couple but one who stays aware of the newness of the other couple.

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I absolutely, positively think that the first experience should be with an experienced couple. We started with a couple who owned a club in Florida. They were in the business of introducing newbies to the life style. It couldn't have been a better experience. They took a couple of hours to talk with us and explain all the aspects of the LS. Then they asked if we wanted to try it. We both did want to. So we split up and went to separate rooms. The woman I was with was gentle and helpful in showing me what she wanted. I stared out being a bit nervous, but she put me completely at ease.

 

My wife had had sex a few times with another guy some years before, so she was less nervous, probably not at all. The guy my wife was with showed her a new position that we had never used but which was very exciting. We used it many time afterwards.

 

Many years before that, we had almost done it with our best friends. New Year's eve ended with us petting and fondling the other's spouses. It did not end up with intercourse, which I regret, I think. If we had screwed each other's spouses, I think it would have ended badly. Our friends had swapped with another couple some time before that and it was a disaster. The old saying about the blind leading the blind would have applied here all too appropriately.

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