That time you ran into people you know

One of the common questions around here is about what to do if you run into people you know while in a swinging environment. I figure the best way to answer this question is for those of us that have experienced this situation to share our experience.

So, swinger veterans, tell us about the time you ran into people you knew during your swinger exploits. How did you handle it? What was the outcome? Did you all have a good laugh, or did the walls implode? What lessons, if any, did you learn from the experience?

As for us, we've ran into a few over the years. The most recent was about two years ago, when we showed up at a club one Saturday night, started making our rounds saying hello and hugging the regulars, when one of our friends said "That guy over there says he knows you". I looked up, and staring back at me was a guy I had worked with for a while a couple of years before that. We laughed, greeted each other, introduced our wives to each other, and caught up on people we both knew but hadn't seen in a while.

Now, Mrs. two4you would have gladly taken a ride on his playground, and his wife was very attractive, but I'm weird, and I nixed that idea. Even though we no longer worked together, or for the same company, it just didn't feel right to me. Our loss for sure, but that's just how my brain is wired.

Now, it's your turn to tell us about that time!

Our current score is three couples in four years, all co-workers. Keep in mind we always travel about 60 miles away during activities, so that is pretty remarkable.

A quiet acknowledgement, and maybe a bit of conversation, but nothing ever came of it, good or bad.

In our experience, count on it happening.

Our very first time at our local swing club, we met a couple we knew. After the first few seconds of shock wore off, we all laughed and said hi. Then we sat down at a table with them and their friends and hung out. It was actually really nice having people we knew there because it gave us a connection to the social group. We never hooked up with them because there just wasn't any kind of mutual attraction, but they were great folks to hang out with.

My second significant and storied encounter with someone I knew was online. One of my hobbies is tabletop roleplaying (like D&D) and we have a group that meets weekly. I was a little surprised when one of the group messaged me on Fetlife to say hi and sent a friend request. I was only slightly less surprised when I saw the other members of the group on his friends list. Yes, I had been hanging out with these folks socially for over a year and never known. We all had a laugh about it. Now, one of those friends is my friend-with-benefits. We still meet weekly for gaming.

Edit - I've actually had more stress with the reverse situation... meeting people I know from swinging or fet in "real life" and introducing them to people who aren't clued in. I usually go with "true but vague" answers.

Does it count it you did not recognize them until after you had sex with them? We once went to a party a one of the couples arrived late, everyone was naked so they dived right in, we had sex then later after the orgy when everyone was getting dressed and having a drink, Terri looks over at the wife and says I know you. The wife says well your husband sure does. Then Terri says band parent at ___ HS right? Sure enough and we all laughed. We also once had a salesman that had come into the office come up to us naked at a club in the play room to let us know he reconciled us from a sales call. Poor guy tried to close the sale all over again and it was the wrong sale to try and close at the time as had he been working on the right sale Terri might have done him.

First time...our very first visit to the local (ish) club. We ran into an ex fling of mine from college days and his wife. They were our first full swap - and separate rooms no less!

Second time...a VP from my company that worked in my building. I nearly choked on my drink and seriously considered running for the door. Instead, I bravely walked up, acknowledged him, introduced my husband, and shared a drink, nice conversation and a smoke on the patio with them. We agreed what happens at the club stays at the club and quietly passed knowing and respectful looks at work thereafter.

The last...also at the club, a woman who had been my direct report at one time, but had since left the company, appeared on the dance floor. We chatted briefly and that was it.

Never did I light on fire nor run away screaming. Of course it's a concern, but I've always found swingers to be discreet and confidential.

I had posted we met a neighbor at a house party. We are not club go-ers or party people and were invited to a cabin on a lake by a couple we had met before. The couple we saw lives two blocks away and our kids are friends. We spoke at the party and my husband had contact with her. I stayed away. I have now bumped into her at a local store. In the past I would have said hello and kept shopping. This time I had to have a conversation.

I only have the reverse situation happened to me, when I met someone in vanilla life afterwards. Strange. One time we played with this couple and a few days later we were on a flight to Seattle, and one of the flight attendant was the female half of the couple. I think she was more shocked than me, but she greeted us warmly and even gave us a couple of those single-serving vodka bottles. Mr. A mentioned it's weird to see her with clothes on since we have only seen her naked. We haven't seen her since that time.

The second time was we played with a couple at a private party. We played, talked a little bit, but really didn't get to know each other real well. I think it's a month later when we went to a kitchen remodel place, and there was the female half of that couple. Apparently she's one of the interior designers there. That was definitely awkward. We said hi to each other and one of her co-workers asked how did we know each other. I quickly blurted out that we met at a mutual friend's dinner party. I could see a sigh of relief from her and from our eye contact, we both knew to keep our sex lives on the lowdown.

I usually laugh and say hi

I usually laugh and say hi

Tell us about the incidents. Who all have you run into, and how did they react?

Funny one was in reverse by having the swinging couple who introduced me and Red at our wedding.

Relatives asking: "so how did you meet mr.and mrs.x who introduced you to Red?"

Our cover story was meeting them through some motorcycle events and then they invited me to a party where I met Red.

It got a little bit bent when mr.x told some relatives that he thought Red and I were just going to have sex the night of that party, not get married (2 years later).

Not out at a party or event, but the first couple we saw when we logged on to SLS for the first time was my brother & his wife. Not a week later their profile was removed. We have seen each other since but have not discussed it. It's kind of funny that my brother was the one that seems embarrassed, he has always been the wild one & much more liberal in his viewpoints.

-She

The best defense is a good offense: Go up to the other couple and say "caught you! Now what are you going to do?" and quickly leave. J/K While it hasn't ever happened to us (yet), I don't think it would be a big thing. We are all there for the same reason...

Tell us about the incidents. Who all have you run into, and how did they react?

lots of coworkers and fellow students with my ex. I've usually run into them at hotel takeovers and meet n greets but once at a house party

For us, it was at a hotel wing takeover. We ran into a couple in the takeover's ballroom private party we would never had suspected as being swingers. We were standing next to them before we noticed them. They already had noticed us. He is a 60 year old widower lawyer and she is a 60ish year old widow that Rob knows pretty well. Learned they are like us for the most part and do so soft swing and watch and are watched..... Julie