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Three questions to ask couples you want to swing with

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The foundation of having a good swinging experience with another couple is chemistry and compatibility. Directly related to swinging, or in general, what are your top three questions you ask that you have found give the best results on determining if that compatibility is really there?

 

For us, it's:

 

1. How long have you been swinging?

2. How did you get into swinging, and who's idea was it?

3. Besides swinging, what do guys like to do for fun?

 

There's no right or wrong answers on any of those, but just by the replies, we usually have a pretty good feel for where to go from there.

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I've never really thought about it enough to have "3 questions" but thinking about past experiences mine are usually...

 

What brings you here tonight?

What are you looking for?

Would you like to dance?

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1. What are you guys into?

2. Are you into BDSM at all?

3. If the guy of the couple is bi I ask, Have you ever been pegged?

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Hmm. After much thought and consideration, I've come up with these questions, which most certainly will elucidate my great interest and garner positive replies from the would-be swing partners:

1: My wife is hot, don't you think so?

2: When was the last time you tested positive for anything?

3: Ready to fuck?

:hahaha:

 

 

More seriously; great thread/question! I don't know that we have stock questions we ask people, but I do know we tend strongly to asking what got a given couple into swinging/how did they first come across it.

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1. How long you have been swinging? health and fitness.

2. General Hobbies and interests.

3. Rules are those acceptable?

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We usually just say "Hi". That starts the conversation (or not) and usually 10 seconds in you can easily tell if someone is a low-life idiot or actually has something going on upstairs.

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Which TV shows do you like to watch?

Do you watch these shows together?

Which of you first brought up the notion of swing?

 

No wrong answers for the people whom we are interviewing. Simply to start them talking about themselves. If, however, they are unable to stop talking about themselves, that constitutes a wrong answer.

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We learned this at one of the seminars we took while on a recent LS cruise and thought it is a pretty good view if there might be chemistry or not.

 

1. What are your Boundaries - where do you draw the line

2. What are your Intentions - what are you looking for now

3. What are your Desires - what is your utmost fantasy

 

All of the other questions listed by others are all good as well since some of them focus on non-swinging items. We talked about these three questions and found that once we had this discussion as a couple, we could have a great discussion with other couples along these questions and learn quickly if our interests align or not.

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1. How did you meet?

2. What drew you together?

3. What do you do that makes the other happiest?

 

All three questions are about their relationship.

 

The first question is something that most couples have scripted and serves as an easy icebreaker.

The second question allows each to talk about the other as they were when they met.

The third questions invites comments on how they see/view/practice compersion, something that we think is somehow foundational to swinging.

 

One can see these as swinging--or non-swinging--questions. They do not address intent, boundaries or fantasies, of course. But they serve to illuminate whether we are speaking to a couple that is "on the same page" and whether the responses to the intent/boundaries/fantasies questions truly reflect shared ideas.

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I do not believe "ultimate fantasy" should be a question. Most people have no good notion what their end-time fantasy might be.

 

The questions will depend upon context. And you do not want it to seem like a job interview. Some basics would be good.

 

* Do you use condoms?

* Are you seeking a relationship that excludes others or is limited to a small group?

* Are you ready for "anything goes" in the bedroom -- what sex acts are off-the-table.

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We just love this thread. We are new to the lifestyle and this helped us a lot. We were a bit worried about how to start a decedent conversation with another couple. Especially if we are physically attracted to them and would like to take our meeting all the way.

 

Great thread and very helpful.

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How long have you been in the lifestyle?

What is your sexuality?

What is your swing style and boundaries?

 

No right or wrong answer! Just things we want to know to help see if there is a match there.

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