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shy kitty

Post play etiquette on physical contact

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I want to get everyone's thoughts on what is the most common acceptable behavior when it comes to physical contact after playtime is over. Are things such as hugging, kisses (not making out), pats, etc. ok or are you supposed to go back to being vanilla when you are "off the clock"? This includes between girls, not just male and female.

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I think this falls under each individual couple's preference. Personally in public (this includes public areas of a swing club too) I have no desire to appear with anyone but my husband. Any overt physical contact I only want in the bedroom. This doesn't include slow dancing and things like that.

 

I would also add that right after play (in the bedroom) when i am done i am done. I don't want to cuddle, make out or stroke your hair. I may give you a thank you smooch but that's it.

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I don't know what Miss Manners would say. After group sex or an orgy are you supposed to write those little thank-you notes to everyone in attendance?

 

I think "acceptable behavior" varies all over the place. We've been in situations where Mrs. Rex and I may be in separate beds cuddled up and talking, or what ever, with our partners, maybe getting ready for round 2 or maybe just enjoying their company. We have as been at house parties where most people are with several partners in the course of the evening and you give your current partner a quick kiss and move on. You may catch up with them later and talk or have a drink.

 

As to going back to "being vanilla" we've found that we tend to hug and kiss our vanilla friends (and others that we meet) hello and goodbye a lot more than we did when we were just plain ol' vanilla.

 

By the way, what's wrong with making out? And...what do think, do we have to send those thank-you notes?

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I dont mean to send thank u notes lol im saying for example after getting dressed and leaving the room I was given what u guys call a thank you kiss? And on off times hanging out ive been pat on the ass by female half.i dont mind but these are people I see regular as friends and play pals.as far as if we were to go to a party or see different couples im not sure whats ok and whats not.as far as before and during play touching making out etc makes complete sense and I luv every bit of the build up but im trying to be respectful waywardly were fairly new to this.

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I dont mean to send thank u notes lol im saying for example after getting dressed and leaving the room I was given what u guys call a thank you kiss?

 

We have given and received many "thank you kisses" after playing. It seems to be the right way to wrap up the adventure.

 

As for the rest: I think it depends on how well you know each other and what your comfort level is. There are a few ladies that will quickly give me a pat on the ass, and it's all good, because we have that kind of relationship. There are others that I wouldn't feel as comfortable with if they did this.

 

So, the answer is definitely "It depends". :)

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We've found it depends on the playmate(s). Some people are gone in 60 seconds after it's over, others like to hang around. Both of our preferences are to have some connection after, just laying there, perhaps chatting. Both of us like a bit of a connection.

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It definitely depends on the couple and varies but almost EVERY couple we have played with (take that with we are a friends first couple...mostly :lol: ) there is always one person who finishes first so the other two will usually cuddle and watch.

 

When the other couple finishes it's only natural to do the same. Usually we sit there chatting. Mrs. Diggs likes her playmate to stroke her gently while snuggled. If the mood takes us, we go for a second round. If not we leave and give a smooch goodbye.

 

We are also the type of couple that doesn't mind swapping for the length of the date, pre or post play. It really depends on what everyone is comfortable with.

 

Just ask.

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I don't know that there's really an etiquette to it. I'd say take your ques from them and then go with what you are comfortable with. If you aren't comfortable with what they are doing then let them know. If you are comfortable then just base what you do on what they are doing. I'd say those things are a good sign that they are still interested in playing again. And some of us are just really flirty/ touchy-feely whether we've been there/done that or not.

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I really like to hang around with my playmates chatting and snuggling for a while after sex. My husband and I both prefer playmates who we enjoy mentally and emotionally, not just physically. I actually get a little offended if someone is just "done" with me once he finishes. I'm not sure what hubby does on his private dates, but I suspect that he's not finishing up and getting dressed immediately to leave. I do think there is a lot less of this activity when we are playing as a couple or at a party. Just a bit of a different vibe.

 

As for future behavior outside the bedroom, we definitely kiss our friends when we see them at parties or bar meets.

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