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That hurts! Do you tell or grin and bear it?

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Here is the situation:

 

This weekend we went to a New Years Social and met a great couple. We flirted off and on the entire evening and when the party was winding down we made plans to head back to our hotel room.

 

After the fun was over my wife was telling me how much fun she had up until the condom. He was very large and she felt that the condom was too dry and there were moments...not the entire time...but moments when she felt like it hurt and she believes the condom was just not lubricated enough.

 

Okay, so back to the question...you are in the moment. Do you break the mood and say..."hey, can someone get the "Wet" or do you grin an bear it?

 

My wife typically would have said to get it but the guy was so close to finishing that she didn't want to ruin the moment for him. She did have a great time with the few exceptions.

 

Now I feel bad because I'm thinking to myself that I had thought it was a little dry at first (we both used the same type of condom because my box was closest) but then it seemed to go fine but...did it really or was she just dealing with it? Next time I'll keep the PL closer.

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I will flip the scenario a bit. I have had blow jobs that were painful. I am a bit above average thickness, and on occasions my partner has, well, been a bit to aggressive and teeth can be sharp.

 

I have said nothing, only to end up extremely sore the next day and to have the same partner perform the same way in the future.

 

And I have said something on occasion also. It did slow things up a bit, but we moved on without much delay and we BOTH enjoyed it more. I have said things, trying to not be critical, were I think it concerned my partner, or made her feel bad, like she was doing it wrong.

 

It is difficult when my partner takes it as she id doing it wrong, but sometimes the pain warrants it.

 

In your case, I would label it an "equipment malfunction" and would not have a problem with letting them know, since it could not be considered a critique of their performance. And as a guy I see nothing wrong with prolonging the climax a bit longer by taking a 30 second break to lube up, as long as it was okay with my partner.

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As for me, I'd rather speak up than end up hurting later . . . If the guy is on the larger side, then play to his ego and say something about how you want to feel his big cock in you, but you might need a little lube.

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I'll speak up. (And I have, actually). If i think it might be an issue, lubrication with condoms especially, I'll grab the lube before we start, maybe use some at the beginning or at least keep it at arms reach so its not like we're being totally interrupted.

 

:)

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Speak up! A frequent play partner of ours taught me this as she is not shy about calling for lube! My wife has also learned to speak up when needed and this generally means longer, extended playtimes for all. Both ladies get very wet easily, but condoms get dry. No more sore pussy the next morning, something we both appreciate :D. Lube, lots of lube :cool:

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definitely say something! it doesn't matter how wet I start out, within just a few minutes of having sex with a condom things are a little sahara-like down there...definitely keep the bottle of lube within reach so that the proceedings aren't interrupted too much :)

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I didn't say anything to my very large partner and now I have to wait six months because of the tears on my taint! That's the last time I don't verbalize my lack of "wet".

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As a woman I would PREFER to be told that I was doing something that was painful or uncomfortable! If you aren't a male, then without a male to tell you what feels good or not...you don't really know what to do! I'm sure it is the same with men! Even if you can tell it's getting close for the guy, if it really hurts to you, there are ways of "re-positioning" that only slightly delay his moment of pleasure! If you say, "Oh....this is AWESOME! I want some more lube!" in a hot and steamy breath, I don't think there is ANY man who would resent postponing his big O for 30 seconds, in order to know that he is fulfilling you to the utmost!

 

But hey....I AM a woman....so.....

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This is the Mr. here. I have one vivid memory regarding this topic. When the Mrs. and I first got into the lifestyle together there was this one encounter where the female was being extremely rough with her to the point she "cut" her with her fingernails and she had bruises on her breasts for a week. When I asked her why she didn't stop her or let me know she was in pain, her response was "I didn't know what to do"

 

From that moment on if anything is uncomfortable to either of us, her in particular, we immediately call a halt to the encounter. If the other couple can't comply appropriately and respect either of our wishes, simply put, it's time to get dressed and end it entirely.

 

Encounters are for pleasure and not pain (unless of course that is what you are into) and you must verbalize this to all parties concerned.

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I think most of it was poor planning on our part. We have been to so many Socials and we have never taken anyone home. We are always about meeting people and if there is a connection then we try setting up a date for a later time but they were both really sexy so we invited them back.

 

A break in our play would have resulted in 10 minutes digging through stuff trying to locate the bottle, lol. Okay, maybe 5 minutes ;)

 

Hearing some of these stories makes me feel much better :lol: as it was minor in comparison to some of the others but definitely something to setup next time in advance!!

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I will flip the scenario a bit. I have had blow jobs that were painful. I am a bit above average thickness, and on occasions my partner has, well, been a bit to aggressive and teeth can be sharp.

 

I have said nothing, only to end up extremely sore the next day and to have the same partner perform the same way in the future.

 

And I have said something on occasion also. It did slow things up a bit, but we moved on without much delay and we BOTH enjoyed it more. I have said things, trying to not be critical, were I think it concerned my partner, or made her feel bad, like she was doing it wrong.

 

It is difficult when my partner takes it as she id doing it wrong, but sometimes the pain warrants it.

 

In your case, I would label it an "equipment malfunction" and would not have a problem with letting them know, since it could not be considered a critique of their performance. And as a guy I see nothing wrong with prolonging the climax a bit longer by taking a 30 second break to lube up, as long as it was okay with my partner.

I completely agree with Couple on this. I'm fairly large and there are Ladies who have a hard time giving me head. One lady would try really hard, but her teeth would scrape me every time. Not constantly, but often enough to make a BJ unpleasant. I also was asked by a partner to use more lube on a rubber. The best thing to do is get all of these concerns out in the open and address them before playing. Nobody wants a buzz-killing moment, right?

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I speak up and/or just grab the lube. We always keep some lube with us for situations like this (I'm likely to run into these situations of not having enough lubrication even just with hubby). If I didn't speak up I'd be hurting a lot. Grinning it and bearing it can lead to a lot more pain later on.

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I have a sneaking suspicion that if you didn't grab the lube that condom tears and vaginal abrasions would be bigger risks, not sure just a suspicion. I say grab the lube and have a better time :kissface:

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My wife typically would have said to get it but the guy was so close to finishing that she didn't want to ruin the moment for him.

 

If I were the guy, and found out she was in pain, but sucked it up so I could finish without interruption, I'd feel really terrible about it. I don't think there's many guys that would have a problem stopping for lubrication, even if they were close.

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If I were the guy, and found out she was in pain, but sucked it up so I could finish without interruption, I'd feel really terrible about it. I don't think there's many guys that would have a problem stopping for lubrication, even if they were close.

 

Ditto that, I would be really unhappy if I found that out afterwards.

 

I had that happen with my wife many years ago where she sucked it up and let me finish and it really bothered me.

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I speak up and/or just grab the lube. We always keep some lube with us for situations like this (I'm likely to run into these situations of not having enough lubrication even just with hubby). If I didn't speak up I'd be hurting a lot. Grinning it and bearing it can lead to a lot more pain later on.
This is what I mean. Who wants somebody to be in pain, during the Capital act? I would feel like sh*t, if some lady was hurting and "sucked it up", so as not to spoil my fun. I ALWAYS have lube handy, even when going out solo.

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Huh, I didnt think you were supposed to add/put lube on a rubber ?

 

As in chemical reaction issues....

 

Isn't that on the warning lables ?

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Huh, I didnt think you were supposed to add/put lube on a rubber ?

 

As in chemical reaction issues....

 

Isn't that on the warning lables ?

Depends on the type of lube and also on the type of condom. Some are already lubed.

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Even though I get really wet most of the times, sometimes I run dry. Bob learned from the first time it happened and I got sore to always have some of our lube with us. I cannot use a glycerin based lube because it causes a rash. So. we looked around until we found a lube that works with condoms and does not give me a rash.

 

Bob says that he can usually tell if a woman is getting dry and grabs the lube, but he is a very sensitive lover.

 

Please, never grin and bear it!

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