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noobwithboobs

Should I put this in our SLS profile?

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So after a few MFM and a full swap experience, it was brought up in discussion about how difficult it is to make me actually cum. I don't know what it is, it's always been that way, I take awhile, but when I do, it's big and wonderful for me. and I can have a wonderful time even knowing that I am probably not going to get there. My husband knows how to push all the right buttons, but it still takes some time, and he doesn't care one bit. But our question is, should that be something we mention in our profile? Because honestly, I think it gave the one poor guy a complex that he couldn't get me off. Would it be better to disclose up front that you better bring all your tricks or just wait until we are in the situation and mention it then. I don't want it to come off as sounding like some kind of weird challenge or game, but I don't want people thinking that I didn't have a great time even if I didn't have an orgasm. Is this the weirdest question ever or what ? LOL

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I have also had this issue. I would not mention it in your profile, to me it's TMI. If someone is interested you might mention it when you get ready to play. I usually don't. If after or during someone brings it up, I just say, that's just the way I am, and I had a great time. I played many, many times with two different guys who couldn't make me come. It worked out fine. They knew I really liked playing with them. One of them I was eventually comfortable enough with to touch myself and get off in front of him.

 

For me, this has gotten better with experience and now I can come with people other than my husband and can come more than once.

 

And, I think this is a great question!

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I was torn between is it TMI or is it a heads up that your head my be down there awhile LOL ? Even my husband doesn't fully understand it, but he's learned to deal with it, very well I might add. Part of the thing for me is that I am a cumslut for lack of a nicer term lol, most of the thrill of sex for me is in making the guy cum.

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. . . My husband knows how to push all the right buttons, but it still takes some time, and he doesn't care one bit. . . .
I am puzzled. What do you mean to say "he does not care one bit"?

 

I have one lifestyle acquaintance whom I had to probe a hundred way before I found her "buttons" but the effort was worthwhile. I would not mention this on a SLS profile. You can challenge swing partners to find the combination to your lock. Some, like me, will appreciate the challenge.

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he enjoys the challenge, he doesn't care if he has to give me oral for a "long" time. To us, it's not that long of a time, cause we are used to it, but after our experience this weekend, and talking with the other guy, he found it to be a "long time" and thought he was doing somethign wrong, or that I wasn't comfortable, and that wasn't the case at all, it was no longer with him than it is with just my husband.

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I wouldn't bother putting it in your profile, at least in part because that kind of solidifies it as an outcome instead of as something that has been true up until now. Also, it does kinda strike me as TMI that doesn't need to be shared unless your partner seems bothered by it.

 

You didn't ask, but have you tried pushing out instead of pulling up when things start to feel good? I've known more than a few women over the years who found it easier to orgasm if they just changed the direction of the muscular action.

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You didn't ask, but have you tried pushing out instead of pulling up when things start to feel good? I've known more than a few women over the years who found it easier to orgasm if they just changed the direction of the muscular action.

 

Interesting advice. Thanks for the tip:)

 

Noob - I am with the others, no reason to divulge this - especially if you are giving your friend feedback if what he's doing feels good. When and if comes up, just be honest and say it takes you awhile to get there and it's no reflection on his skills.

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I would say no. It leads into all sorts of complications; playmates who take it as a personal challenge to make you orgasm, playmates who disregard trying to get you off because they already think it's the norm, and then what if you happen to find a playmate who DOES make you have a quicker than normal orgasm? How would that impact you and your S.O. because you put that information out there? I would stick with a simple explanation if asked or if you sense there is some insecurity and provide reassurance that you enjoyed yourself.

I tend to have the opposite problem, I used to warn people that I have quite a voracious sexual appetite and it caused the same problems; challenges for them to ”satisfy me completely,” arguments over who has the higher sex drive… all pointless in the end. If you enjoy your time spent together then the time was successful.

Kudos for Mauijanedoe's advise. Some women concentrate so hard on contracting in order to orgasm that they overstimulate and shut down the sensation. Relaxation, especially during oral sex, can be a key factor is being able to orgasm more easily.

HG

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So after a few MFM and a full swap experience, it was brought up in discussion about how difficult it is to make me actually cum.

 

Challenge-accepted-300x225.jpg

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I was pretty much going with NOT putting it there, but I guess I felt bad that I had this guy confused. But thanks for the tips, I will work on it later ;)

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I wouldn't put it in a profile, however, I don't think it's bad to mention to a partner before playing. I'd want to reassure them that it's not them, but just the way you're built that makes climax difficult to achieve at times.

 

We had a female who was upfront with Dave before playing. Even though he knows how to push every single button with me, he couldn't get her off to save his life. Her husband stepped right in and WHAM! she had an orgasm that seemed so quick and easy for him. Dave took that as a learning process, which was in the right spirit.

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Just fake it!

 

No probably not the best advice. I think it would be TMI. Personally, we have met couples where he was the one who was really int swapping and she was the "cold fish." If we read that in your profile, we would tend to assume that was the case with you.

 

Really don't mean to come off as offensive, but that is what we would "read between the lines."

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Guest screaminggood

It's take me time, too! It's not in my profile and I don't say anything about it. The only time it was an issue was at a club where a man was licking me...And he hadn't even been doing it for very long! He stopped and said, "Aren't you going to come already?" Luckily, there was a man watching whom got involved---he made me cum more times and faster than I ever had!!! Ended up with people applauding as we went into a private area!

 

...And this is why I love on-premise clubs that allow single men!

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No, don't put it in. As Shy Couple says if I read this I would think "cold fish" and pass. Now, I tend to base whether I am doing something that feels good to my partner by their response. If they are just laying there, then I am going to think either they are the "cold fish" or I am failing to stimulate them and maybe they wish they were someplace. In that case I am going to end it. On the other hand if they are making sounds and movements and uttering encouraging words I am going to stay with it until they say stop. I think a lot of experienced lovers are interested in bringing pleasure to their partners and not just to themselves and as long as you indicate you are receiving pleasure they will be satisfied. Of course there are some who think that if you do not cum you could not be enjoying it. This is similar to a woman thinking that if a male does not ejaculate he could not enjoy the sex. Anyway, to answer your question don't put it in your profile and I suggest you not even mention it, unless you feel the other person is getting restless and doesn't know whether to continue or not.

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All you have to do to let him know that you enjoy the play even if you can't climax are encouraging him during the play and letting him know vocally how much pleasure he's giving you. Guys can be dense sometimes and can't read your body reaction. But words of praises are understood 99% of the time.

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Mrs. Diggs takes an incredibly long time and requires concentration. The other night while playing, I tried to move her and got the "Don't fuck with me, I'm almost there!!!" scream. :lol:

 

She used to be very self conscious about this and would often cut the guys time short down there because she felt bad about the effort they were putting into her. I'll say the same thing here that I say to her and that is most guys are not going to feel bad if they have to fuck her for 45 minutes to an hour before they cum so why on earth should she feel bad about him spending 20 minutes on her?

 

Still, we do tell people not to worry if they don't get her there and that she takes some practice and good direction following, lol. Most guys see it as a challenge and enjoy knowing that when they get her there that they did something amazing for her and the ones that can't look at it as a reason to come back and try again :facelick:

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Mrs. Diggs takes an incredibly long time and requires concentration. The other night while playing, I tried to move her and got the "Don't fuck with me, I'm almost there!!!" scream. :lol:

 

Ha! I have a similar noise, not really a scream, but hubby knows if he stops he's in trouble LOL

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