Jump to content
exploringRM

Should we tell them up front we aren't interested in them?

Recommended Posts

Recently we received an email from a couple and they wrote: they like our profile, are interested in meeting and will look for us at an upcoming M&G that we are attending. We are on the event list (as well as our tag line) on sls so that's how they know we are going.

 

I checked their profile and we're not interested in this couple from a play time standpoint. On the high end of our age range and there's just no physical connection based on the profile.

 

I'm on the fence as to how to respond. I don't want to seem rude and say no, we don't want to talk to you..always willing the chat with people. But I also want them to understand there's no interest on our part of a sexual nature.

 

I can either send an email now and say...thanks, be happy to talk at the M&G but I don't think we are compatible, blah blah. Or just meet (if they find us) and then email later that we are not interested. Had they just inquired about meeting I would have said we're not interested but I don't want to come off like an asshole and say no..we will NOT talk to you..lol.

 

The M&G at the end of this week so I need to decide soon.

 

Thanks for your e-pinions!

Share this post


Link to post

I'd write back and just say you're always happy to meet new people, and you'll see them there. They can figure out in person that you're not interested in play, either by your body language, by the fact that you express no interest, or by your polite refusal if they get as far as asking you. No harm in being friendly and it's not like it would do you any good to say "no" before they've even asked.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
I'd write back and just say you're always happy to meet new people, and you'll see them there. They can figure out in person that you're not interested in play, either by your body language, by the fact that you express no interest, or by your polite refusal if they get as far as asking you. No harm in being friendly and it's not like it would do you any good to say "no" before they've even asked.

 

Lol, I had forgotten, early on WE had received a reply like that "Always happy to meet new people" but not much more. I got the hint pretty quick :)

 

Thanks for kicking the dust out of my brain.

 

But I am interested in hearing how others may deal with this differenlty..always good to have a variety of replies.

Share this post


Link to post

I'd keep my reply friendly but non-committal. People are often not the same in person as they are in their profiles. More than once, Mr. Sweet and I have met someone at a party or M&G that we wouldn't have given a second glance to based solely on their profiles. But in person, they were great. Perhaps they were new, and didn't know how to create a good profile, or just hadn't updated it recently.

 

Of course, there's also the chance that they're exactly as advertised, and just don't do it for you. In that case, they'll probably catch on to the lack of interest as soon as you meet.

 

=)

Share this post


Link to post

I have never met anyone interested in us, from (online personal sites) in the lifesyle, that I wouldn't chit chat with a little bit, in person. Especially at a meet and greet/party.

 

They didn't ask to have sex in the PM, it sounds like they just want to say hello.

 

Tell them if they do see ya, to be sure and say hello :)

 

The toes we step on today may somehow be connected to the bodies we want to lick tommorow.....

Share this post


Link to post

Regardless of whether you want to play with them or not, it seems to me that common courtesy demands a reply e-mail. Yes, even IF you are going to see them this weekend at a party.

 

Sometimes us old codgers cannot connect a face with an e-mail address. The response assures that they know you are not ignoring them.

Share this post


Link to post

Here is an exact response we gave a couple the other day. I'd be curious to see what everyone thinks.

 

"Hey, sorry it took us a day to get back to you. We did get a chance to talk last night and look at your profile. You are both attractive but we just didn't feel the initial connection to move to the next step - maybe you felt the same after we opened our pictures :) Thank you very much for your consideration of XxxxX and I and maybe we will catch you at a social sometime. Thanks. XxxxX & XxxxX"

 

Since you are meeting them at a social then you might want to reword it with we would love to chat with you at the social and meet new friends in the lifestyle, etc but this is our typical thanks but no thanks.

Share this post


Link to post

Fuse said what I would have said.

 

No sense in burning a bridge. Just be polite and act uninterested. You never know, meeting in real can be quite different than meeting on paper. Don't rush to conclusions. There's no harm in telling them face to face there is no connection.

Share this post


Link to post
Additude said:
You never know, meeting in real can be quite different than meeting on paper.

 

Yea, sometimes it can be much scarier!!

 

:surrend:

Share this post


Link to post

A polite, "Yes, we'll see you at the Meet-n-Greet" would be fine. You're in no way committing to anything more than just saying "Hello"

Share this post


Link to post

It is just a meet and greet, not a paid hotel room for the 4 of you. There will be other couples, maybe some that you already know. You can always just meet and greet them and then move along to the other couples that you are more attracted to.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
The Fuse said:
I'd write back and just say you're always happy to meet new people, and you'll see them there.

 

That is exactly what we always say when we respond to similar inquiry's, and it has always worked out fine. Funny thing is, every once in a while we meet and actually hit it off, even though we were certain that we had no interest based on their profile.

Share this post


Link to post
That is exactly what we always say when we respond to similar inquiry's, and it has always worked out fine. Funny thing is, every once in a while we meet and actually hit it off, even though we were certain that we had no interest based on their profile.

 

:ditto:

Share this post


Link to post

Thanks for the responses. I emailed them inviting them to come say hi. I can based on the profile that we are 99.99% sure we have no chemistry.

Share this post


Link to post

The only thing I would add to what the fuse and vegas said is... It's a small world...everyone knows everyone.. and people talk.. if you get known as a rude couple. It will come back to haunt you.

Share this post


Link to post
The only thing I would add to the fuse and vegas said is... It's a small world...everyone knows everyone.. and people talk.. if you get known as a rude couple. It will come back to haunt you.

 

Very good point!

Share this post


Link to post

We got asked to send some face pics and shipped some over to the couple and we got the one liner of "thanks but were not compatible" note. I thought to myself like okay f u but looking at it now it's like hey at least we didn't waste any time. Their loss!

Share this post


Link to post
The only thing I would add to what the fuse and vegas said is... It's a small world...everyone knows everyone.. and people talk.. if you get known as a rude couple. It will come back to haunt you.

 

Good point, didn't think of that. I was just a little put off by the original email in that it didn't really leave us any choice in the matter. But I guess it is no different than if they just introduced themselves with no email.

Share this post


Link to post

We get these types of emails pretty often in regards to events we sign up for. Our typical response (whether we might be interested or not) is simply "See you there" or "if you see us there be sure to say hello". And leave it at that. We figure we don't really know if we are interested in until we meet them and neither do they, but at the very least it's nice to have some pre-contact with a few people, it makes the night go easier. And no sense is turning down someone who hasn't even propositioned you yet... just seems rude.

Share this post


Link to post

I just remembered another, similar situation. We got an email from a couple that said, paraphrasing, "Oh my, what a couple! We're going to xxx party on xxx date (about a week and a half from the date of the email). Can we meet sooner?" This just rubbed me the wrong way because they seemed to be assuming we would automatically want to meet them in any case (we didn't).

 

I wrote back something neutral to the effect that we wouldn't be available to meet anytime soon, but maybe we'd see them out at a M&G sometime.

Share this post


Link to post

Never did meet them. I think I saw them from across the room (large nightclub so hard to say) but I was trying to track down my wife (she was having fun!) and figured we'd run into them at some point. But never saw them after that so perhaps they left? Due to the size of the club it's easy to miss people. It may also be that they are not into the nightclub scene so much.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Tcav45
      Hi all. I was wondering if you could help. We are a married Female/Female couple that recently became interested in swinging. My partner was the one who brought it up initially.
       
      She has pretty much been sexually inhibited most of her life. She is now a gorgeous body builder with a rocking body and she has decided that she does not want to be inhibited anymore. She is not very experienced, so she is not very confident. And recently on several occasions during playtime with people she has felt very rejected. Kind a like the odd one out. This rejection has completely devastated her and she wants to quit the lifestyle and just go back to a sexless life. I don't know how to help her deal with this, she is crushed and thinks she is repulsive and unfuckable.
       
      Can anyone give me some advice? Has anyone else ever gone through this?
    • Guest FunintheSnow
      By Guest FunintheSnow
      A comment on the thread/poll about same vs. separate rooms reminded me of a question that's been on my mind--in your experience, what tends to happen when one pair finishes having sex in same-room play? Does the other pair feel pressure to finish up?
       
      Edited to add: Yeah, I know someone's always going to finish first, barring wild coincidences. But I couldn't think of a better way to put it.
    • By foozballnow
      In your experience with swinging, either being the guy yourself, or the woman experiencing it, when does the guy normally cum? Do you have the woman perform oral and cum through there so you last longer for sex? Do you let the woman get you started with oral but only cum during sex? Or do you skip oral completely and just cum through sex. Normally we cum through sex, but sometimes the girl is really good at oral so I (male) don't know to make her stop or let it go...Just curious what the rest of you do in a similar situation.
    • By Spoomonkey
      I was talking to a friend here about an experience we had with a single male some time ago. It was a first "play" situation and we were clear that condoms were expected.
       
      The guy turned out to be fairly well endowed; the kind of gear that requires the larger size wrapper. When "condom time" arrived he pulled out one of the cheap thick skinned, average size condoms that you might buy in a truck stop bathroom.
       
      Needless to say - it didn't fit.
       
      He couldn't put it on and maintain his erection.
       
      This led to him asking (in a mock casual voice) if we ever play without.
       
      End play date.
       
      It struck me as a bit odd that a guy who said he had a lot of experience seemed to have no clue what condom size he needed. Was it a ploy to go without? Did he really buy one at the last minute when he knew ahead of time that there would be play? Did he simply have no experience with "safe sex"?
       
      I actually use condoms that would have worked and did have mine with me, but the whole thing felt wrong to me. So - I let him flounder and leave. After all, I don't use condoms with Mrs Spoo and couldn't have been expected to provide them. I didn't feel very benevolent.
       
      I have had men right before play come to me and ask if I had one. Spur of the moment situations can leave anyone in a bind. I have no problem with that and do carry extra just in case that happens. But this wasn't a "spur of the moment" kind of thing.
       
      Mrs Spoo was upset as well and was glad I didn't offer one of mine.
       
      What would you have done? And do you know what condom size works for you? How long did it take you to figure that out?
×
×
  • Create New...