Jump to content

What situation best applies to you as a couple?  

82 members have voted

  1. 1. What situation best applies to you as a couple?

    • Both male and female fertile.
      28
    • Male sterilized, female fertile.
      13
    • Male fertile, female sterilized.
      14
    • Both male and female sterilized.
      29


Recommended Posts

As newbies, my husband Peter and I have learned so much here. We greatly appreciate the community at Swingers Board. As we are seeking to become more involved in swinging, one of our concerns is pregnancy. We are both fertile. If I were to become pregnant, either by Peter or another man, it would be easy for me to have an abortion. However, if he impregnated another woman, it would be up to her to decide what to do, without us having any say. Peter does not like condoms, and of course they can fail. I am urging him to consider having a vasectomy. We are wondering what more experienced couples have faced in terms of pregnancies, vasectomies, or tubal ligations. Also, what situation in the poll best applies to you?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I don't think anyone likes to use condoms but it is a fact of life for most in this lifestyle. We are still considering having children so permanent solutions do not work for us yet. I've been on the pill for a long time, and while nothing is foolproof, it does the trick for me even as I go bareback with some partners.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

We both are sterilized and did so during the first year of swinging but it wasn't because of swinging. Although, I admit using it as a way to give myself that extra push to have the tubal done. Mr. Sun set up his vasectomy after I had experienced my last miscarriage. He just didn't want me to continue going through the pain of future miscarriages. For me, years before, I had promised myself to get a tubal ligation once I turned 30 because I've experienced so many miscarriages. So, sterilization served two purposes once we became swingers but in the end, I found that I still wasn't mentally prepared for it. I've mourned several times over that I can not longer become pregnant. My advice for others is to only do it if you are 100% sure and ready to be done with having more biological children.

 

With all of that said, we don't tell other swingers that we're both "fixed". We still play with condoms with everyone else to minimize the risk of getting an STD/STI.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Neither one of us is 'fixed' but you asked which situation best applies to us so we voted 'both' since given the choice that is what we would prefer...and we would still probably require the use of a condom.

Share this post


Link to post

My wife got 'fixed' after our second child was born. We had tried for several years to have our first child and told that she had one chance in a million of getting pregnant. That wasn't quite true and we had our first child. When she got pregnant again 17 months later, and it was a difficult pregnancy, we decided we had to do something and she had her tubes tied. Since we were not swinging at the time, the option of me having a vasectomy never came up.

Share this post


Link to post

Male sterilized, female (very) fertile. Not done for swinging but as birth control, as MsD reacts bad on any birth control based on hormones. We have used condoms for many years, now we are sure we don't want any new biological kids anymore, my plumbing is fixed.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Your pole has no selection for our situation. I have vasectomy but my procedure was not performed for the purpose of being safe with multiple sex partners. My wife is well past menopause. Fear of pregnancy is no concern for us.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

My husband had a vasectomy for us a couple years before we started swinging. Once I decided I would likely have multiple partners at least until menopause, I had a tubal ligation with endometrial ablation. We still use condoms with everyone except each other.

 

I'm super happy that we are both unable to get pregnant or cause pregnancy.

Share this post


Link to post

We are both fixed, neither for swinging. This is not our first long term relationship - we've both been married 3 times.

 

I got fixed during my second marriage. He after his first marriage we both have 2 children from our first marriage and that's enough.

 

We still wouldn't go bareback.

Share this post


Link to post

We are still new here, but we both were fixed after our last child. Swinging never came into the discussion because never in a million years did I think we would ever do that. Because our first time was unplanned and we had no reason to be traveling with condoms. The couple we met said it was there first time too (still not sure about that a year later). Sure I was nervous about STDs but not about pregnancy.

Share this post


Link to post

We were both fixed long before we met so pregnancy was never an issue. The lifestyle group that we got involved with originally was all bareback and we never even thought about condoms for at least 6 years. We still look for people who don't require them. If we were worried about STD's we wouldn't be swinging in the first place. There is a certain amount of risk whether condoms are used or not and we are willing to accept that risk.

Share this post


Link to post

Mrs was safe when we met. Mr got a vasectomy after getting a scare while playing bareback at a party. The only reason he had the procedure was because of the lifestyle.

Share this post


Link to post

Your situation is almost like ours. My hubby too does not like condoms. He has also got his vasectomy done, yet we use condoms to ensure safe sex

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

For unwanted pregnancy at home till 9 weeks buy online Abortion Pill. This is the world most used and recommended early pregnancy termination pill aids for easy and safe abortion with no side effects.

Share this post


Link to post

To remove unwanted pregnancy at home without surgical abortion procedure or clinical observation or any side effect buy Abortion Pill online. This abortion pill is aided for easy and safe abortion till 9 weeks. It used more than 97% of women in the world because it helps to get the freedom of life back.

Share this post


Link to post

I had a vasectomy about 3-years after my second wife and I started swinging. She was still fertile. My current wife had a hystorectomy before we met.

Share this post


Link to post
Your pole has no selection for our situation...

 

That's because the monopole doesn't exist, ∇⋅B = 0.

 

But seriously, I'm deciding now whether to have another child along with Clair and Lora. But either way, after that I'm going to have myself permanently fixed. It will be a new freedom.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

My wife ended up getting pregnant after fucking my best friend for months and it was very nerve racking. Luckily she had a miscarriage.

Share this post


Link to post

Among the closed group of couples we play with, all of the women use birth control and we all go bareback, the way we all prefer. (The men are all fertile.) My wife and I decided that for us, if she got pregnant we would decide at the time if we wanted a child. If we did we would raise it as our own since we think highly of all the guys we play with. It would be like sperm donation for her, adoption for me. If we didn't want a child, abortion would be no problem for us.

Share this post


Link to post

I had a vasectomy done 4 years back. She fertile but on the pill currently . We definitely don’t want anymore kids. We’re exclusive to one other couple at this point. He’s fertile, she uses a IUD. Good friends > 10 years. We played softly for years before swapping partly due to the fact that my wife during that phase wasn’t on any birth control. As things progressed I started dropping lines in reference to birth control. Finally as a group the conversation happened. My wife was little hesitant only bc she was used to not having to worry about it with me. Then one night out of the blue it happened. Amazing night and moment for everyone. In the heat of it, she allowed him to cum inside her. While she was at the end of her monthly cycle, she was completely fertile. Nothing happened, didn’t get pregnant. Week later she was on the pill.

 

If you’re not looking to get pregnant, don’t mess around and get fixed one way or another.

Share this post


Link to post

Just an aside - an accidental pregnancy is what solidified our poly family. Our live-in girlfriend Clair got pregnant by hubby despite being on birth control. She was upset and offered to have an abortion to keep us "as is" in our relationship. It took me about two minutes of thinking about it to decide that there was no reason not to start having children. We took the rest of the day off from work, she took three or four pregnancy tests, we cried together and decided that I would try to get pregnant as soon as possible so we could have our children as close as possible. I stopped taking my pills that day. We told hubby and my boyfriend Red and both were overjoyed. I had sex with both hubby and my Red and got pregnant within a couple of months.

 

We are all extremely pro-choice, and this was our choice, the right decision.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

After a threesome with a mutual friend and we were bareback and he did finish in her I had a dream (very realistic) that she was pregnant.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
After a threesome with a mutual friend and we were bareback and he did finish in her I had a dream (very realistic) that she was pregnant.
Please tell us about your dream and how it felt. One of the (pleasant) surprises in our poly family is how our two guys have not only been not jealous about sharing us women sexually, but also treat each other's children equally as their own.
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

The Queen was fixed after the birth of our second child. I remained fertile and was fertile when we first started in the lifestyle. We played bare back with our closest friends. Usually all us guys would pull out and our playmate would Finish us mostly cause we all would have a few rounds with each other. If at the end of the play date it was the choice of the woman you where with on how we finished.

 

Our playmates varied in age with more then half being up to twenty years younger than we were. All the women on BC or fixed. After 3 or 4 situations I choose to get snipped. Over a few years two in our semi poly/LS group wanted children. Another single lady wanted children and stated out of the blue that she had stopped taking her pill and she was hoping to get pregnant from one of our gatherings, but hadn’t yet. Kind of caught a few of us off guard.

 

The last straw for me was attending a house party and being with a younger woman. We clicked very well and spent the evening playing bare back and telling me to cum inside her....a couple of times. While talking later she mentioned she was not on any BC to my wife who told me this on our ride home. That did it. I have children with my wife and only her (to my knowledge) and wanted to keep that as our special connection.

 

I was snipped two months later. I will say that there is more bare back play since I have had this done. Women...especially younger women have asked if I had a vasectomy and tend to be more playful knowing that concern is off the table.

Share this post


Link to post

When I was in grad school there was a couple who were married. I don’t believe they were swingers as such (though there couples on the faculty who were.) But like a lot of people who were in their 20s in the late 1970s, my schoolmates experimented, playing one night with another couple who were also grad students. As a result the wife in the first couple became pregnant, which was not a happy event.

Share this post


Link to post
... in the late 1970s.. the wife in the first couple became pregnant, which was not a happy event.
In the late 70s there were options for any desired outcome.

Share this post


Link to post
In the late 70s there were options for any desired outcome.

 

The pregnancy was aborted. Not a happy event, but from their perspective I suppose a necessary one.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

My SO, bf, and I are all fertile. They wear condom all the time, except on special occasions when we do it unprotected. We all agreed there will be no surprises and any plans should be discussed prior with everyone. I have been up-front with them that if there will be accidental pregnancy (including if we swing as a cpl), they have to own it and termination is not an option. What I do on special occasions we were condomless, I see to it it didnt happen on same month for both in order to keep track who's who.

 

My bf, who is single and the younger guy of the 2, is sometimes hinting on becoming a father when reaching a certain age, which is very near. I'm ignoring this talk but I know I have to deal with this choice eventually. Here's the rub. When I accepted him as my bf, he offered to be mono for me if I will treat him as equal to SO, including all the privileges of a normal mono relationship, to which I agreed. I just wish he will honor our 'no surprises' agreement. If he won't, I'm unprepared for this situation. In our arrangement, can he? Inputs from anybody who has been in this situation are welcome.

Share this post


Link to post

We are older. 100% condom users. But my wife does not want me to play with younger women who could get pregnant. Condoms can fail, fall off, etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest

I couldn't get pregnant after a second child and my husband is fixed. Sooooooo, we don't worry about that. Regarding condoms...you are crazy if you think they are a good method of birth control. Like said above, they fail and slip off, and if a lover stays inside while he become soft, sperm will leak out if they've had a big cum. We date a young couple and she is so fertile that even birth control pills have failed her. She offers her fanny and mouth to lovers unless they've had a vasectomy.

 

 

20151024_112028.jpg

Share this post


Link to post

My swing buddy and I had been playing in the lifestyle for three years when she rode a Sybian.  It broke the threads of her IUD and she had to have the doctor remove it.  She tried birth control pills but was allergic to them, so we just depended on condoms on me and our male guests to keep her from getting pregnant and from STDs.

 

Then we had an exciting MFM with her first BBC.  After a lot of play, he slid his cock in her and they started to fuck.  I realized that he was not wearing a condom and asked her if she wanted to stop and have him put on a condom.  Her eyes were rolled back in her head but she shook her head, "No!"  After the session he informed us that he was V-safe.  That was fortunate because we realized that she was ovulating that night.

 

About a year later we were in an MFM at a swing club in Las Vegas.    After the hot tub, we had a lot of foreplay with the guy on a bed.  He put on a condom and they fucked for a while, then she flipped over onto me, 69, so I could suck her clit while her fucked her doggy.  After about 45 minutes he said that he could not come, so he pulled out, took off the condom, and she finished him off with her hand.

 

Three weeks later we found out that she was pregnant!  She used the Plan B pills to terminate it.  We figured that she may have gotten pregnant during the foreplay.  It included a lot of mutual oral and fingering.  If he had cum on his fingers when he was fingering her that may have been it.  If he came during the foreplay that may have been why he could not cum when he was fucking her doggy for so long.  After that she always used a contraceptive sponge and had the guys wear condoms.  I got a vasectomy to make sure that was the cause of any future pregnancies.  

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By emmasutherland89
      Me and my partner are in a very secure happy relationship and are not new to swinging but we recently found out I'm pregnant, wondered on what people think of a pregnant woman who still meets and of people would want to meet? My partner has always liked to watch me play and likes the idea of me still meeting and so do I but curious if it would others off?
    • By udsarge
      Speaking as a recent snip-"ee",  does the fact that a potential playmate has had a vasectomy a plus, a minus, or doesn't even factor into consideration when evaluating a new partner in the lifestyle?
    • By prometheius
      I thought it would be interesting to find out other peoples views on the subject of safe sex/being surgically safe. N8tureGirl and I have been in the lifestyle for just over a year now, and we’ve found that most of the males of the couples we’ve played with are not surgically safe. I am V-safe and as of this month, N8tureGirl will be surgically safe also. What I would like to know is: Why don’t more people address this issue? I do realize that there may be some people out here that might still wish to have children, but for the most part, if they haven’t had kids by now, what are they waiting for? After all, most of us here are 30 somethings or older. I have been frustrated by people, (men in particular), who seem to think that it should be our responsibility to make sure a pregnancy doesn’t happen. Condoms don’t always work, and most people say that they don’t like using them since it does change the sensations felt or not felt. To further my opinion on this matter, sterilization is much less expensive and uncomfortable for the men than the women.
       
      When we got into swinging, we didn’t think about the fact that we were going to have to spend thousands (literally), on having the Mrs. fixed so she could enjoy herself without that concern hanging over her head. We’ve been told by more than one man that he was afraid that having the procedure done would hurt. This is a WTF moment for me, is there no pain in bearing a child? What about the financial pain of raising an unplanned child, or worse yet, the emotional pain of terminating an unwanted pregnancy? To me, this smacks of being self centered and makes me want to tell the guy that he can play with us once he gets his business taken care of. Fortunately, that will soon no longer be an issue for us.
       
      I just wanted to hear other peoples' opinions on this issue.
×
×
  • Create New...