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Flori_DAMAN

Swinging single females

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Julie has experimented with changing the heading of this forum from single males to single swingers.

 

I applaud this and would like to initiate some conversation concerning single swingers.

 

If you are a single swinger please let us know how you are recieved.

 

Almost every party I have gone to (hundreds anyhow), there were at least some single females.

 

This board has what I percieve as a cross-section of swingers representing themselves.

 

I remember when swinging meant a single guy that got laid a lot.

 

Hey that guys a "real swinger".

 

The stigma of single females being sluts and guys being sluts with dicks is changing.

 

As usual Julie is ahead of the game.

 

Single swingers are in fact finding a place in the swinging community.

 

I see more single guys bitching about conditions than I do couples.

 

It used to be that it was all couples complaining about the horrible single men.

 

Now I see single men retalliating because they may be displaced swingers (like me, for instance, I have been in a partner swinging situation for most of my adult years), or they are genuine and resent the way they are treated.

 

I see couples on this board more interested in single males that are truly single males.

 

I see few clubs nowadays that exclude single males. They may charge them more and screen them more but I agree with that myself. How do you feel about that? I think the single male should pay more and be better screened because it will filter out the scum. Can you imagine if they let single guys in free like they do single females?? LOL....the club would be full of every pervert with a dick in the state!!

 

The single swinging females now have a forum to talk too.

 

We have heard from the couples, and the single males.

 

I would like to hear from swinging single females, as well as single males and couples about the status and acceptance of the swinging single female.

 

I know you are out there. Many have joined the board recently. Please tell us your prospective and anyone that has an opinion about swinging single females (besides I WANT ONE LOL), please comment on how the single swinging female can get into the lifestyle without feeling like she is a target with a big bulleseye.

 

John, who is gratefully Julie's helper again. :)

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They are walking bullseyes. Every once in a great while a single fem will come into the club we go to and is swarmed by every single guy, bi fem, and cpl in the place. On the internet swinger sites they get flooded with mail faster than anyone could be expected to read it. If we are ever going to get enough of them into the lifestyle to end this mad dash everytime one peeks in we are going to have to back off alittle and give them some room to breath. No one could expect to become comfortable in a new situation when they are put in the middle of a clasic fumble pile up on the 10 yard line. This is an adult lifestyle act like adults and give new people single or cpls some space and time to adjust. It's no wonder so many people report being scared to death on their first club visit when the regulars go into a feeding frenzy everytime new meat comes through the door. My 2 cents. What does everyone else think?:confused:

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Hai

 

I am a single male just got into the swinging scene. I t is hard being a single male. It seems so destressing to see that all single females want to swing with couples or other females. And all couples want to swing with other females!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, the single males are left out of evrything........... it is hard.

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Ok.. now let me tell ya the real story.. LOL

 

I hear everyone go on and on and on about the search for the "elusive single female" and how hard they are to find. I also hear the single males griping about not being wanted. I don't get it. Where we are, single females are a dime a dozen, but a decent single male is next to impossible to find. Oh, don't get me wrong.. there are lots of guys, but I'm talking about the good ones. At our club, there are lots of single females, and frankly, they are havin a great time. So are the couples who are into the FMF scene. Our first experience (and only so far) was with a single female, because that was the most available option. Our club charges single males more than twice what a couple pays, and I don't blame them for not wanting to pay a huge amount of money for what will probably be a "fruitless" evening. We as a couple would actually prefer a single male for our next encounter, but the ones we've met so far are far too eager to tell me how "hung" they are, when what I really want them to tell me/show me is what a great person they can be, and how understanding/friendly/considerate they can be. As for the walking bullseyes thing, our club must be different, because I have never seen single females treated that way. Never. More often than not, I see the single females approaching the couples, and not the other way around. Sadly for some of us, the single guys are so intimidated that they seem afraid to speak to us unless we approach them first, while on the other hand, I've had to turn down several aggressive single females who were quite frankly TOO forward about wanting to play with a couple.

 

 

Ok, so there's our response, from a couple's point of view. Just my experience/opinion

 

:evil:

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We need to move to in next door to you. In our area (we go to clubs in Ohio) the single men often outnumber the cpls and the only single women we see are a cpl of over 40 over 250lbs ladies who sit back and take their pick of desperate cpls. The single men here will drive you crazy. Following you around the club, ask to join over and over, knocking on private room doors, Sitting 10 feet away staring at you without blinking and jacking off. Any time you would like to bring a bus down our way take all of them home you want. We have plenty to spare. Only one of the clubs we have been to has the single men on short leashes so they will behave themselves.

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Originally posted by kycpl4bifem

The single men here will drive you crazy. Following you around the club, ask to join over and over, knocking on private room doors, Sitting 10 feet away staring at you without blinking and jacking off.

 

 

At our club, anyone... single or couple... would get thrown out on their ear for that sort of behavior !! Knock on a private room door that's shut, and end up on the street. Ask once to join, get told no, and then ask again, and end up with, at best, a warning that it better not happen again. Staring and jacking off ? Well, single men do not get to go into many areas of our club unless they are escorted there by a lady or a couple, so......

 

I guess we're just blessed to have joined a really well run place.

 

:evil:

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Clubs need to be run with strict guidelines. I have seen all of the above descriptions of swinging clubs. The ones that are run by true lifestyle members with good business and human instincts don't have the swarm problem.

 

Oregon sounds like a very nice state. Very nice...lol.

 

I haven't been to any clubs in Florida yet, but I notice that single men are welcome although as I said they are screened very carefully.

 

Single females that may be interested in attending a club should find lots to chew on with this thread.

 

A single female swinger that is inexperienced must really excersize caution in choosing a club. The good ones will pamper her and not harass her, which is the way any lady should be treated, especially if she is unaccompanied. It isn't like going to the local nightclub. If you are in a mismanaged club and have a sense of dignity you will probably hit the door within ten minutes.

 

I would suggest single females really talk to the owners, read reviews (many of which are on Julie's swingers places), and if possible attend with someone on your first few visits.

 

One thing that I have noticed with most clubs is that the crowd changes so much from one week to the next.

 

One week will be a loud rawdy bunch of revelers, and the next seems to be the mild mannered laid back ex-hippies. One visit to any club can be misleading either way.

 

John

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The on premise club we frequent is extremely well run, many single females attend for this reason. The guidelines are ironclad and no warnings are issued. Orientation is required for all new guests so there are no items left to question. There is no flocking and the atmosphere although sexually charged is very laid back.

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Originally posted by kycpl4bifem

The single men here will drive you crazy. Following you around the club, ask to join over and over, knocking on private room doors, Sitting 10 feet away staring at you without blinking and jacking off.

It's the fear of encountering exactly that sort of behaviour that means we have no intention of visiting any club on anything but a couples-only night.

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Originally posted by kycpl4bifem

(we go to clubs in Ohio) the single men often outnumber the cpls and the only single women we see are a cpl of over 40 over 250lbs ladies who sit back and take their pick of desperate cpls. The single men here will drive you crazy. Following you around the club, ask to join over and over, knocking on private room doors, Sitting 10 feet away staring at you without blinking and jacking off.

We have attended four clubs in Ohio (Dayton, and Columbus), not sure where you have been to, but I think I know of one you may be talking about. We would never attend it again on a night where singles are allowed as everything you described is what we encountered. Due to our experiences we are not club attendees by choice for either meeting people or socializing with friends. The only place we have been where we encountered both single males and females of any quality were at a house party. None of the clubs that we went to had any of quality of either gender on the nights that we went.

 

Lori

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Lori,

 

Clubs really vary in clientele. I'm not sure how many you have gone to, but I would check some more out. The ones in Mi varied wildly. There should be some upscale clubs somewhere.

 

John.

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Originally posted by FlyBiNiter

More often than not, I see the single females approaching the couples, and not the other way around. Sadly for some of us, the single guys are so intimidated that they seem afraid to speak to us unless we approach them first, while on the other hand, I've had to turn down several aggressive single females who were quite frankly TOO forward about wanting to play with a couple.

Our experiences haven't been exactly like yours, but I do have an incident that I would like to add regarding a single female. It has more to do with what my pereceptions and feelings were as opposed to her actions.

 

While at a club one night a very young twenty something who was sitting with a group of couples that didn't seem to be having a good time, struck up a conversation with my husband and over the course of the evening it became a little more on the sexual side. Nothing out of line, not even for a mainstream type club, just some provocativeness and light flirting. Needless to say he was very flattered and in awe by her.

 

The rest of this post is based on my perception and maybe it explains how others feel about single men, which is perhaps not any different than I felt about the single woman.

 

I felt as though this young lady was #1...way to young to be flirting with my husband. She was very attractive and had the body that I could have only dreamed about at her age. She was intelligent and well spoken. There is no doubt in my mind that we or they could have gone to a room if someone just said the word. The end result of the evening was that I took my husband aside and told him to cool his jets. He didn't question me and we left soon afterwards. Now in actuality this gal did nothing wrong, or nothing that the female half of a "COUPLE" of a young twenty something could have done and been totally accepted without much reservation. Had it been the female half of a couple, I would have been less stressed by the situation as it unfolded, whether or not it led to something sexual with her husband for myself. It took me quite some time to work through what I felt about that evening. While I played upon the fact that she was young and made that my case, there was really a lot more involved.

 

A.) She was attractive and intelligent

B.) There was no opportunity for an equal playing field.

C.) She was NOT part of a couple .

 

The most important thing that I found out about my own feelings was the fact she was not part of a couple, therefore in a round about way it is a perceived threat, warranted or not. I haven't had those same emotions where a couple are concerned. Logically I do know that even couples can pose a threat, but the risks do not seem as great in my mind. I can sluff off certain behaviors from them, whereas the singles I cannot. For my own self, I would much rather for us to be the approacher than the ones being approached, be it male of female.

 

Lori

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" Following you around the club, ask to join over and over, knocking on private room doors, Sitting 10 feet away staring at you without blinking and jacking off. "

 

I don't know what it is like where you live, but here, this first kind of behavior, "asking repeatedly", would get you permanently bounced from our club. "No Thank You", means never ask again in our lexicon. If a couple wanted to say "maybe later" then the invitation to ask again was left and the subject isn't closed. No always means NO.

 

The rest of the antics mentioned would get someone, male or female, escorted out immediately.

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Originally posted by OhioCouple

Our experiences haven't been exactly like yours, but I do have an incident that I would like to add regarding a single female. It has more to do with what my pereceptions and feelings were as opposed to her actions.

 

While at a club one night a very young twenty something who was sitting with a group of couples that didn't seem to be having a good time, struck up a conversation with my husband and over the course of the evening it became a little more on the sexual side. Nothing out of line, not even for a mainstream type club, just some provocativeness and light flirting. Needless to say he was very flattered and in awe by her.

 

The rest of this post is based on my perception and maybe it explains how others feel about single men, which is perhaps not any different than I felt about the single woman.

 

I felt as though this young lady was #1...way to young to be flirting with my husband. She was very attractive and had the body that I could have only dreamed about at her age. She was intelligent and well spoken. There is no doubt in my mind that we or they could have gone to a room if someone just said the word. The end result of the evening was that I took my husband aside and told him to cool his jets. He didn't question me and we left soon afterwards. Now in actuality this gal did nothing wrong, or nothing that the female half of a "COUPLE" of a young twenty something could have done and been totally accepted without much reservation. Had it been the female half of a couple, I would have been less stressed by the situation as it unfolded, whether or not it led to something sexual with her husband for myself. It took me quite some time to work through what I felt about that evening. While I played upon the fact that she was young and made that my case, there was really a lot more involved.

 

A.) She was attractive and intelligent

B.) There was no opportunity for an equal playing field.

C.) She was NOT part of a couple .

 

The most important thing that I found out about my own feelings was the fact she was not part of a couple, therefore in a round about way it is a perceived threat, warranted or not. I haven't had those same emotions where a couple are concerned. Logically I do know that even couples can pose a threat, but the risks do not seem as great in my mind. I can sluff off certain behaviors from them, whereas the singles I cannot. For my own self, I would much rather for us to be the approacher than the ones being approached, be it male of female.

 

Lori

 

Lori,

 

You have hit a bunch of nails on the head.

 

The single swinger whether male or female needs to be very perceptive of the couple. Some couples are very open minded and seem to have no jealousy whatsoever. Even in the lifestyle these are in the minority.

 

You are dealing with an issue that involves intimate involvement with your most important thing in the world (other than children of course), your signifigant other namely.

 

Vibrations are not real, not some psuedo psychological extension of a rollings stones song....it was the stones that did good vibrations wasn't it?

 

You can pick them up right away at any gathering. I have seen my S/O get real fidgety around some appliance salesperson that is flirtatious to get me to buy a clothes dryer as an example.

 

Single swingers need to have an above average ability to sense when they may be threatening the partner of there ambitions.

 

I am glad that you used the female swinger as an example because honestly, I have seen that happen more than with single males. Females, even married, sometimes get way too agressive with the male half of a couple, seemingly disregarding the wifes obvious signals. Every female knows the signals.

 

Females have an invissible antennae that emits signals that ONLY other females have the frequency response to understand.

 

Us poor men have an antennae also but, rather than pick up on important frequencies ours tends to just extend in length to pick up the ones we really want to hear....hehe.

 

You and Gene learned a lot from this and maybe part of it is that you are not really ready to indulge in singles for a while.

 

I have seen way too much tit for tat create problems with couples.

 

When a similar thing happened with (oh who cares the name), my s/o got excited and moved things along. She enjoyed watching this gal give me oral, but when push was coming to shove....she just plain said UH UH. She was not going to watch me screw this chick NO WAY.

 

Some of the conversation on this board suggests that the single swinger be outward and friendly and some others feel they should sit on the sidelines and wait to be called into action.

 

One of the problems males have is that they think they have to be very flirtatious and outdo any other males that may be in the same territory.

 

Female singles just assume that they will get what they want and may tune out the female half, even if unintentionally.

 

This is where communication between the swinging couple is so paramount.

 

You cannot just say "if the opportunity comes up will we do it?"

 

You need to say "if the opportunity comes up will we consider it?"

 

There is a huge difference between those two things.

 

The latter allows for the fact that one partner may be uncomfortable due to "bad vibrations" for whatever reason.

 

It so happens that the female I referred to that my S/O and I were with was extremely gorgeous, but she was gentle and subtly persuading. No where near agressive. I was pleasantly surprised that things went as far as they did under the circumstances. But it came to a point that I just knew deep down that my S/O was getting uncomfy with the whole thing.

 

The foxy other said, "can I take him inside me?"...well the answer was a flat NO...but a friendly one.

 

She did not have to take me aside though. I could feel that she wasn't gonna be comfortable with it.

 

A lot of this is strictly being tuned in with your partner. Discussing the fact that you cannot predict anything. You need to draw boundries but you need to also take unexpected feelings or situations into consideration and watch your partners reactions like a hawk.

 

I think I said what I meant to here. Thanks Lori,

 

John

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Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

I see few clubs nowadays that exclude single males. They may charge them more and screen them more but I agree with that myself. How do you feel about that? I think the single male should pay more and be better screened because it will filter out the scum. Can you imagine if they let single guys in free like they do single females?? LOL....the club would be full of every pervert with a dick in the state!!

 

I agree that everyone, male or female, should be screened very carefully, however, many of us (myself included) are not independantly wealthy and most clubs that do allow single men are now charging upwards of $75-$100 per night to get in. While this would have the effect of warding off most of the scum, it will also ward off people like me who don't have $100 to blow on a cover charge to get into a club where you "might" get noticed or not. I understand the world we live in and I also understand why it is the way it is, but I hate to be discriminated against simply because I swing low and to the left (just because I have a dick). While the ladies either get in free, or at a greatly reduced rate.

 

Just my thoughts...

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ATAK

 

Gimme a break! I spent over 70 bux on my last date. Dinner alone was 55.

 

Clubs need to cater to couples. Topless bars cater to single males. Which is cheaper? The last topless bar I went to (a few years ago), wanted 3 dollars for a pepsi!

 

Instead of comparing yourself to couples or single females compare the price of visiting a club to the amount of fullfillment you get out of it.

 

Its the ole adage "you get what you pay for".

 

If I went to a club as a single male the last thing I would worry about is the cost to get in.

 

The difference between a single and a couple is maybe 30%. Couples don't get in free ya know.

 

Its well worth it to allow you to be a member of an exclusive group of single males. Just remember that if they just let you pay 20 bux to get in you would have no club to go to!

 

It would close down in a week cuz the couples would be swarmed.

 

John

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Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

ATAK

 

Gimme a break! I spent over 70 bux on my last date. Dinner alone was 55.

 

Clubs need to cater to couples. Topless bars cater to single males. Which is cheaper? The last topless bar I went to (a few years ago), wanted 3 dollars for a pepsi!

 

Instead of comparing yourself to couples or single females compare the price of visiting a club to the amount of fullfillment you get out of it.

 

Its the ole adage "you get what you pay for".

 

If I went to a club as a single male the last thing I would worry about is the cost to get in.

 

The difference between a single and a couple is maybe 30%. Couples don't get in free ya know.

 

Its well worth it to allow you to be a member of an exclusive group of single males. Just remember that if they just let you pay 20 bux to get in you would have no club to go to!

 

It would close down in a week cuz the couples would be swarmed.

 

John

 

Well, where to begin....

 

The cost of a date varies from who you're taking out to where you live. The last date I went out on cost about $25 dinner and all. On the other extreme, I've spent as much as $125 on the same kind of date to a fancier restaurant which was 2 hours drive from here. So it depends greatly on whether you're taking out someone who likes McDonalds, or someone who likes Olive Garden.

 

I've never been to a lifestyle club, so I can only speak from an abstract perspective, but to classify topless bars with lifestyle clubs seems a bit rash considering that at a lifestyle club, you intend to hook up with single/couples for sex. It's not always the case, but I'd imagine more often than not, that's the reason they're there. On the other hand, at a topless bar, you cannot "buy" the girl and have sex with her, therefore, there's a huge difference between looking and being invited to participate.

The last time I went to a topless bar, which was last Friday night, I spent a grand total of $22 including cover charge, cokes and a table dance.

 

As I stated before in my previous post, I understand the desire to weed out the undesirables which necessitates the enormous entrance fee, but still, I'd rather spend my $100 on a date with a lady I've met outside a club, than to use it as a cover charge to get into a club where I know no one.

 

"an exclusive group of single males"....seems to me that even undesireables have lots of money. Sometimes the MOST undesirables have the most money. Can they simply buy their way in too? So much for the elitist status...

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Originally posted by ATAK

 

"an exclusive group of single males"....seems to me that even undesireables have lots of money. Sometimes the MOST undesirables have the most money. Can they simply buy their way in too? So much for the elitist status...

 

You spent money in a topless bar. What did you get?

 

If you consider the fact that you are the least undesirable at the swingers club you may get more than you hoped for.

 

Yeah, you need to demostrate that you have money.

 

The couples that swing are not low income types.

 

I would gander that the typical swinging couple has income in the 50-100k range.

 

While you pittle away your money at topless joints with no hope of having sex you could save that up and try a swingers club.

 

Personally I am going to go to the nicest whore place in town tomorrow and drop a lot more than I should.

 

I am going to bring my t-shirt and ask them to pose for a picture of me with them.

 

I haven't had sex in 4 months. ANd that sex was with my now past lover of 4 years.

 

So this guy is gonna get his rocks off but ya know something.

 

Swingers don't care if you come or not.

 

They care if you are there at the right time.

 

Rightfully so.

 

Until I can find a swinging mate I'm just gonna go the safe route.

 

Im gonna pay for it and enjoy what I can get.

 

I cannot fool a female. Everyone that I date wants to know my past.

 

When I bring it up I get blown out of the water.

 

I have followed the advice of my lady friends on here.

 

They tell me to just not bring it up.

 

I cannot lie.

 

WHen the question of my past comes up swinging is a huge part.

 

How should I lie or delete pertinent facts?.

 

I hope to god that you never lose your partners to death.

 

I have made love to well over two hundred females.

 

Do you think it is easy for me to live on this board and have NO sex?

 

I never cheated on any female that I have ever been committed to.

 

I would never cheat with anyones wife.

 

I just plain need sex.

 

I won't go to a club in this condition.

 

I'm gonna get me the cutest gal in the whorehouse and fuck her till I cant do it anymore.

 

I have started conversations with many wifes on this board.

 

They and there husbands have supported me through my most recent set back.

 

I appreciate every one of you. Honest.

 

But I need to get laid.

 

I'm gonna get laid.

 

I will protect myself of course but its just gotta happen and happen NOW.

 

You will love the pic though.

 

John is too horney to think any other way.

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Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

You spent money in a topless bar. What did you get?

 

I got in, got a coke and a table dance. But moreover, I got what I came to get....entertainment. I got to stare at boobs for a couple of hours without having to wine or dine anybody, and without the headgames that go along with most relationships. My intention was not to get laid, I know that's not gonna happen, but I can go, relax, see a couple of friends, and go home. That's what I go for. Not to solicit sex.

 

I will save up enough money to go to a swinger's club at least one time simply because I have not been. I do want to see what that's about, and I may change my mind about it, but not seeing any great benefit from the outside looking in, on the whole I'd rather spend that money somewhere else.

 

The couples that swing are not low income types.

 

I would gander that the typical swinging couple has income in the 50-100k range.

 

So that means that anyone who doesn't make that kind of money can't swing? Of course not, your lifestyle shouldn't control your money, but more often than not, your money controls your lifestyle. Just be tolerant of us po folks. :)

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So, let me get this straight...

 

Here we are in the 21st century, an age of sexual equality and freedom, and men are paying 100 or more dollars for something that a woman can get for free ??? Now, before anyone jumps my ass for my opinion on this, I DO understand what the clubs THINK they are accomplishing by charging guys more, but the fact is, charging more doesn't assure a better quality of man. It's all about SCREENING people !!! If the guy is an asshole, he's not gonna be a good boy just because you drain his wallet dry !!! Oh, and that single woman you just let in for free ? Well, just because she didn't have to pay, does that guarantee that she's not some 2 dollar whore, out to cause a problem between a husband and his wife ??? NO !!! The only way you can be sure you are weeding out the rotten apples is to screen them, and keep on screening them. If you let em in and they act like a jerk, kick em out the FIRST time, with no appeal. I know someone's bound to get all pissy about my comments, but ya know what ? I just don't think that a single person should be penalized for having a penis. The only penalty should be as a result of BEHAVIOR. Give em a chance to prove themselves before you punish them.

 

 

Just MY opinion.

 

:evil:

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We have found a wonderful off premise (which I personally prefer)club in Mississippi. They only allow 6 single guys in the club at any given time. The guys must stay at the bar until a couple invites them to a table or unless someone asks them to dance. I know the guys out there will probably disagree, but I think this is great! I can't stand feeling pressured by some guy following me around or what have you. I would end up leaving the club if that happened, and probably wouldn't go back. I am there to enjoy myself, and should not have to put up with that kind of behavior.

As far as strip clubs go, my husband and I do enjoy them from time to time. I always find that the girls go out of their way to make me feel welcome. And it's not always about getting sex from someone else. Its about the seduction, and the excitement level that is achieved between us, just by thinking about swinging. I will say I have never been to a strip club where we could come out spending less than $50. So, the cost between the strip club vs the swing club is about the same. At least where I am .

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This is the kind of screening I'm talking about. In order to keep hundreds of single men from entering a couples-club at a time, limit them to the bar and have them enter the couples area by invitation only, and at the first hint of problems, ask them to leave for the evening, or perhaps the week, if they come back and continue to cause problems, ban them permanently. Money is not the issue as much as the quality of people you are allowing in.

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Originally posted by FlyBiNiter

......the fact is, charging more doesn't assure a better quality of man. It's all about SCREENING people !!!

EXACTLY!!! I agree with your entire posting.

 

Lori

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I would definitely not combine Swinging single females and Swinging single males in one thread. Totally different.

We don't do swing clubs, way to cliquey, and we're not into anonymous fucks. BDSM clubs are kewl though.

We have met with couples, single males and single females, had fun with all.

I really don't understand the 'problem' with single guys. The ones we've met have all been kewl. But then. I'm an inveterate voyeur anyway ;)

J

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Originally posted by Vjklander

We don't do swing clubs, way to cliquey, and we're not into anonymous fucks. BDSM clubs are kewl though.

BDSM's don't fuck anonymously and aren't cliquish? Something about all of that just doesn't 'click' with me. Or it could just be the area we live in that thrives on new and anonymous adventures? Not to mention they play in established groups.

 

Lori

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If I were going to swing as a single female, I would find a couple to go with.....just wouldn't feel safe otherwise. If I was going to approach a man who was part of a couple, I would try to seduce his wife first....if she's het she's going to be too threatened to let you fuck her man.

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Originally posted by Vjklander

I would definitely not combine Swinging single females and Swinging single males in one thread. Totally different.

We don't do swing clubs, way to cliquey, and we're not into anonymous fucks. BDSM clubs are kewl though.

We have met with couples, single males and single females, had fun with all.

I really don't understand the 'problem' with single guys. The ones we've met have all been kewl. But then. I'm an inveterate voyeur anyway ;)

J

 

You made a statement in there somewhere.

 

Oh yeah. You said you would not combine swinging females and swinging males on one thread.

 

Other than saying "totally different", you gave no reason, OH YEAH you said "totally different". Do you mean like guys got dicks and females got tits?

 

And why are BDSM clubs cool?

 

And one more thing. Maybe you misspelled it but what does inverterate mean?

 

It almost seems like you are trying to make a point here, I just want to get it.

 

John

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Single males have a tough row to hoe.

 

That is the facts of life.

 

If you plan on screwing other peoples wives you'd better be over the top of the average single guys repetoire, or at least have something.

 

CMON MEN!

 

You are talking about having sex with the most loved thing in a mans life!

 

If you think you are being OVERCHARGED then you are off on the wrong foot now.

 

 

How much would the average man CHARGE to have his LOVE screwed??

 

Haven't you seen (damn what was that movie called?)

 

ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

 

You bitch about paying 100 bucks to have a shot at it.

 

Disgusting.

 

This is why single males are abhorred.

 

They have no idea how valuable the WIFE is!!

 

Get a grip single fellas and realize that if it cost you 1000.00 to go to one swingers party you would be getting more than you deserve for the money.

 

If you compare yourselves to single females you are comparing apples to oranges.

 

John.

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John, I appreciate your position and I hear what you are saying, however, I've been married before and I do understand the value of a wife. She did not subscribe to the philosophy of swinging, and I respected that.

 

What I fail to understand is the difference between a man wanting to have sex with another man's wife, and that wife wanting to have sex with a man outside the marriage. Should the wife, then have to pay $100 a pop to go to a club and have sex with a single guy? Or for that matter, a single woman? The point is that the playing field is not level for all the participants.

 

As I've said before, I'll try the club thing once or twice just to see what it's all about, and I may still change my mind once I go, but for now, I can't see an enormous benefit of meeting at a swing club versus meeting at a straight club. The end result would be the same and it wouldn't cost near as much.

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I think meeting at a swing club and meeting at a straight club or even on off-premise club are totally different. I think your odds of finding someone

a) you are attracted to and

b)who is willing to swing with you

is much better at a swing club....some of them are veritable orgies.

Just my 2 cents.

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One of the problems males have is that they think they have to be very flirtatious and outdo any other males that may be in the same territory.

 

Reminds me of how male birds are the colorful ones and they ruffle their feathers and sing a certain way to attract the ladies.

 

Its well worth it to allow you to be a member of an exclusive group of single males. Just remember that if they just let you pay 20 bux to get in you would have no club to go to!
by Flori_DAMAN

 

On the other hand, at a topless bar, you cannot "buy" the girl and have sex with her
by ATAK

 

Sorry ATAK I was following your point until we got to this last statement from you. I can agree that instead of charging so mcuh the clubs should just screen better. But, when you go to a swing club, regardless of how much you pay, you should not be walking in expecting to have sex with anyone. You aren't paying that door fee as a right to have sex with someone (or even the right to expect to have sex) you are paying for the right to enter that club and to be one of the few males there. Being allowed in the door is not the same as being invited to participate. So, yes with that in mind, you can equate going to a strip club to going to a swinger club. Cuz the only thing you can expect at a swinger club is the same as what you can expect to see at a strip club.... some flesh. If you get more than that, woohoo, lucky you.

 

If your entire point of going to a swinger club is to get laid, then do everyone a favor and take John's route and hit a brothel. At least then you won't be dissapointed. But if you walk into a swinger club with the sole expectation of getting laid, regardless of how much you paid, chances are very good you will be very dissapointed.

 

 

 

Now, before anyone jumps my ass for my opinion on this, I DO understand what the clubs THINK they are accomplishing by charging guys more, but the fact is, charging more doesn't assure a better quality of man. It's all about SCREENING people !!!
by FlyBiNiter

 

I totally agree with this. I've said it before. Regardless of how much a club chooses to charge whoever, screening will go much further to weeding out people. As will enforcing rules of conduct which it seems that many clubs don't do. The problem is that too many clubs are in it for the money and not out to provide a quality service.

 

All that said.... This thread has taken a major stray from it's original topic. The original question was about swinging single females.... and we let it get derailed a bit by the topic of single males....a topic that has many threads of it's own.

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Originally posted by JustAskJulie

If your entire point of going to a swinger club is to get laid, then do everyone a favor and take John's route and hit a brothel. At least then you won't be dissapointed. But if you walk into a swinger club with the sole expectation of getting laid, regardless of how much you paid, chances are very good you will be very dissapointed.

 

Heheh, This is exactly why I love this board so much.

 

Originally posted by FLA_DAMAN

While you pittle away your money at topless joints with no hope of having sex you could save that up and try a swingers club.

 

Going to any club(swing or not) with the expectation of getting laid is presumptuous at the very least! My comments were not based on the assumption that sex was expected. But honestly, if the chances of having sex are not better at a swing club, then why save up my money to go? Not simply from a single male's perspective, but as couples or single females too. The object is to meet people that you have common ground with and can become friends with and perhaps more. While sex is not expected when you walk thru the door, you can bet that it's on people's minds, correct? Seems to me that the purpose of the swing club is to give people who hold the philosophy of swinging a common place to meet. Sometimes it can be for sex, other times it can simply be to get to know some new people who think the same way you do.

 

The only real difference I can see(having never been to a swing club) is all of the people in a swing club are swingers, while swingers in a straight club are not as easy to find. While this fact alone may justify the $100+ cover charge for some, it does not for me. Perhaps that's because at this particular point in my life, I'm having no problem having sex just about any time I want to. It's not always been this way and I'm sure it will not always be this way. Actually having made that last statement, does indeed put a higher cover charge into better perspective, but still does not justify charging one sex more than the other to gain entrance.

I'm not comparing apples to oranges here, Men and women ARE indeed different, but shouldn't be charged any different at the door. IMHO Their differences should be distinguished once inside by their actions.

 

 

All that said.... This thread has taken a major stray from it's original topic. The original question was about swinging single females.... and we let it get derailed a bit by the topic of single males....a topic that has many threads of it's own. [/b]

 

I'm sorry if I "de-railed" this topic, perhaps I should've started another topic thread. But it seemed to me that Single Females and Single Males were both affected by this topic, which is why I didn't start another thread.

 

 

BTW, John, where's that pic dude? The one with you wearing the t-shirt. I wanna see that! :D

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Originally posted by ATAK

 

As I've said before, I'll try the club thing once or twice just to see what it's all about, and I may still change my mind once I go, but for now, I can't see an enormous benefit of meeting at a swing club versus meeting at a straight club. The end result would be the same and it wouldn't cost near as much.

 

Yeah ATAK, that was my point. Unless you are willing to be a lifestylist it won't pay to just go to a club and see if you get lucky. You may indeed get lucky, but if you want to get laid you are probably better off doing the single bar scene.

 

Personally I am doing neither so I'm not getting any at all LOL.

 

I'm doing some dating through online dating services but no real connections so far. I do have a couple of gals that we seem to have a mutual interest in but it goes slowly. I am more interested in a LTR than getting laid though. It took me this long just to figure that out...sigh.

 

After my wife passed away it took me 4 years to have a LTR, and I just dread the thought of going that long again, but I may well have to like it or not.

 

John

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Originally posted by ATAK

, Men and women ARE indeed different, but shouldn't be charged any different at the door. IMHO Their differences should be distinguished once inside by their actions.

Gonna have to side with ATAK here. I think singles regardless of gender, should be charged the same and let thier actions determine whether they stay and do nothing, get thrown out for acting inappropriately, make friends or get laid. In my opinion single is single, whether you are in a mainstream night club or a swingers club. Both should be charged the same dollar amount, whether it is $5.00 or $100.00.

 

Lori

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If you charge single females the same price as single males one of two things will happen.

 

No single females will show up if the price is high.

 

Thousands of single males will show up if the price is low.

 

Take your pick...

 

John

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John is right....and it's not just because single women can get laid anywhere on any given night for free. It's also because, in general, men make more money than women do. In a perfect world.......

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Originally posted by Ashley

John is right....and it's not just because single women can get laid anywhere on any given night for free. It's also because, in general, men make more money than women do. In a perfect world.......

 

woah baby!

 

That was not my point.

 

I just believe that the swingers world is better off by letting single swinging ladies in for business purposes.

 

Maybe guys make more money sometimes. But that is not the factor I was considering.

 

John

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No....I knew what you meant. But my point is true, nonetheless.

If I want to go out as a single woman why would I pay to go to a club when I can go to a bar and pick someone up or have a man pay my way....sorry, it's just economic reality.

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Yeah, exactly!

 

That makes sense.

 

The reality is unfortunately hard for some men to accept.

 

John

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Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

I just believe that the swingers world is better off by letting single swinging ladies in for business purposes.

 

Business purposes? You've lost me completely now. How would it be a benefit to allow single women in for "business purposes" versus single men? You seem to be placing more value on the single women giving substance to the thought of single men being "a dime a dozen" which we've already covered in another thread. I realize it's not a perfect world, and you DO make your point when you said...

 

If you charge single females the same price as single males one of two things will happen. No single females will show up if the price is high. Thousands of single males will show up if the price is low. Take your pick...

 

But the fact that it IS does not justify the way it "should be". I'm just thinking there must be a better way of screening besides emptying a man's wallet.

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Originally posted by ATAK

Business purposes? You've lost me completely now. How would it be a benefit to allow single women in for "business purposes" versus single men? You seem to be placing more value on the single women giving substance to the thought of single men being "a dime a dozen" which we've already covered in another thread. I realize it's not a perfect world, and you DO make your point when you said...

 

 

 

But the fact that it IS does not justify the way it "should be". I'm just thinking there must be a better way of screening besides emptying a man's wallet.

 

ATAK,

 

Give us a good solution that will now allow the masses of horney men to overwhelm swinging communities.

 

John

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I'm not really sure where the thread went topic wise, but I couldn't imagine going to a club on my own as I got started. I've done that since then, and I agree that a girl that doesn't know what she is doing, or what to expect, gets eaten alive by guys.

 

I also have to sympathize with Lori, in that I felt some intimidation being young, good looking, and in a house full of married and near-married couples older than I was. What I think broke the ice were a few things. I had a host couple whom I was fooling around with outside of the group, and they helped break the ice. I was very interested in the wives and girlfriends, which surprised several of them. And after a few trips up there, I wasn't just another cute blonde toy, I was part of the group.

 

Its like sex in general. You can be open minded, level headed, and it is the most amazing activity, thing, whatever, and it can give you feelings and experiences that border on religious. But if you go into something without your head on striaght, you'll get messed up in a hurry. Heck, you don't have to swing for that to happen. Its why I like the groups over clubs. I like the purging that goes on, that keeps most of the real head cases away from me. I like meeting people, branching out, but in a way I consider safe.

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Magic Enigma brings up a very important point. She was there with a host couple who helped introduce her to others. Couples tend to trust another couple's judgements, without much question.

 

Maybe the answer for clubs would be to charge the single females and males the same amount if they arrive alone. If they come with the endorsement of a host couple who would in essence be responsible for the singles actions (in meaning that if either got out of control, they would be ousted for the evening) then they would receive an equal lesser rate being that of 1/2 the couple charge. After "X" amount of attendance (say 6 visits) and there have been no problems or complaints then they should be charged only the 1/2 rate of a couple, should they want to attend on their own. I would have to think if a single was "sponsored" by another couple, six visits would be ample enough time to have introduced them to others in which they would have become friends.

 

Just a thought.

 

Lori

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Originally posted by OhioCouple

Magic Enigma brings up a very important point. She was there with a host couple who helped introduce her to others. Couples tend to trust another couple's judgements, without much question.

 

Maybe the answer for clubs would be to charge the single females and males the same amount if they arrive alone. If they come with the endorsement of a host couple who would in essence be responsible for the singles actions (in meaning that if either got out of control, they would be ousted for the evening) then they would receive an equal lesser rate being that of 1/2 the couple charge. After "X" amount of attendance (say 6 visits) and there have been no problems or complaints then they should be charged only the 1/2 rate of a couple, should they want to attend on their own. I would have to think if a single was "sponsored" by another couple, six visits would be ample enough time to have introduced them to others in which they would have become friends.

 

Just a thought.

 

Lori

 

Lori,

 

I think your approach would be better applied to single males strictly.

 

If a guy proves that he is an asset to the club then reduce his cost to half.

 

The reason single females are let in free is for business purposes. If one club charges them then they will lose business from the single females and the couples that like to see them there.

 

However if I ran a club and a single guy were attending regularly; not causing problems then I would give him half rate.

 

Good Idea but I think it would be more appropriate for single guys and be an incentive for them to behave.

 

john

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Originally posted by OhioCouple

Magic Enigma brings up a very important point. She was there with a host couple who helped introduce her to others. Couples tend to trust another couple's judgements, without much question.

 

Maybe the answer for clubs would be to charge the single females and males the same amount if they arrive alone. If they come with the endorsement of a host couple who would in essence be responsible for the singles actions (in meaning that if either got out of control, they would be ousted for the evening) then they would receive an equal lesser rate being that of 1/2 the couple charge. After "X" amount of attendance (say 6 visits) and there have been no problems or complaints then they should be charged only the 1/2 rate of a couple, should they want to attend on their own. I would have to think if a single was "sponsored" by another couple, six visits would be ample enough time to have introduced them to others in which they would have become friends.

 

Just a thought.

 

Lori

 

I like that idea, I believe that if a single has the endorsement of a couple, then people at least feel like that single's not going to be pushy or obnoxious. Or at the very least is acceptable to another couple even if they may not be compatible with everyone. I see John's perspective as far as single females are concerned insofar as since clubs are already letting single women in free, why start charging them now?

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Now, see the compromises that are possible when we all play nice ? :rofl:

 

Ok, I like the sponsorship concept a lot. I was thinking as I read that, and it's possible that if a couple sponsors a single guy, they most likely will KNOW that he's worth playing with, so those of us who are interested in a guy would not be stuck weeding through all the wannabes. Hmmm.. double win there !!!

 

As for the single females getting in for free, I'll just have to learn to cope with the fact that life is unequal, and more people want females than males, so I'll bite my tongue... LOL I'd still like to see guys charged a more reasonable amount, no matter what, and then the free female thing wouldn't bother me half as much.

 

 

:evil:

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The main thing to think about here and I believe it was brought up in either this thread or the one in Club Questions on "where does your money go", is that Single Females can get laid anywhere. It's also very easy for single females to find 3somes if they so choose. They are in very high demand. It's supply and demand that brings single females into clubs for free.

 

The couples want them there, the club owners know the couples want them there, so the club owners do whatever it takes to keep the couples happy (because let's face it singles, couples are what swinging is all about).

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I gotta agree with the general tone.

 

First, supply and demand always determines pricing.

 

Second, swinging is a couples sport.

 

Third, single guys gotta compare the value per dollar and decide if its really worth it to them in the first place.

 

john

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LOL Clubs trip me out. I was INVITED to join a club that holds a party at a different motel around the Great Lakes a few years back. The single men would be the last ones invited, and the ones that were invited were selected from the single females and couples that were invited first. Seemed fair. The Catch? By the time they knew how many single women and couples would be attending, and how many single men to invite, there was usually only two or three days before the event. It cost $150 to attend (that included a room and breakfast the next morning) and you had to respond 48 hours before hand if you were going. Lucky me, I was told on Friday afternoon that I had to work Saturday and Sunday, so I not only missed going to the club, but my membership was revoked for not showing up and not giving enough advance notice. Hey, I only had 36 hour notice that the party was happening, but everyone else (couples and females) knew months in advance. Anyway, that club was barred from operating in Michigan and the motels that allowed them to party there were closed down or fined.

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