Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 32
  1. Back To Top | #1

    Post Hubby's (Soon to be) Ex- boss

    ok.. this is a little odd but have had a "thing" for hubby's boss for about a year and a half now...

    and hubby is about to leave his job for another one......

    Hubby is all ok with me being with other men.. (as long as it won't screw up his career and.. taking for granted he gets to have a little fun too.) So.. is it like.. OK after hubby quites and ilonger in a professional type relationship with this person??

    BETTER question.. I don't even know if he's into this.... though.. I do catch him staring all lot....

    How do you tell someone.. hey I just want to have a little fun with you?! if your not sure what their into or have no clue as to how to breech the subject....

    Though part of me is afraid to pursue this at all... what if he were to react badly.. or something.. yeesh I don't know..

  2. Back To Top | #2

    Post

    I assume you have an open marriage based on your post.

    Personaly I think it could be a bad idea to persue, at least without your husbands ok. Its one thing if the person involved had no relationship with your husband, but when that person knows him well AND was his boss it could lead to hard feelings I think.

  3. Back To Top | #3

    Post

    On one hand I would say that as long as your hubby is ok with it go for it. On the other hand even if your hubby doesn't work FOR this guy anymore he is still acquainted with him business-wise. And if by chance this guy is a talker and it gets out into your husbands business circle it could be bad.

    In regards to the second part of your question about letting the guy know that you are interested. I would say let your hubby do it in a round about way. I assume they talk about things besides business. If so, have your hubby let it slip that you have this open relationship and see where it goes. Once he is aware of that then you can talk to him yourself and see where it goes. Just be careful.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Post

    I think he *knows* I like him.. he just doesn't realize that its .. ok....

    we flirt back and forth at parties a LOT.... (well, flirting in a way that would not be blatently obvious to anyone else there....)

    at least.. I *think* we are flirting.. we are so careful I could be misreading everthing and seeing what I want to...

    However.. I did get trunk and cop a fell one night... (he was drunk as well.. and never said a word .... so I wonder if he even rememebers.... not to mention he tries to pull me away from everyone else quite a bit... (show me new gym equptment in his gym... ) not to mention when he pulled his back last year.. he couldn't sit down.. but instead would stand up with his foot in a chair.. and.. (we were in a place with limited seating..) he made sure I sat in his chair and kept his foot between my thighs... THAT was .. probably a bit obvious.. but again nothing was ever said.. and by the time hubby and I got to the little get together <we will call him Fred to protect the guilty> Fred and the other 2 there had already wiped out a bottle of Jack... I would feel if he would ever flirt with me when he was NOT trashed

  5. Back To Top | #5

    Post

    quote:
    Originally posted by Testdiva:
    I think he *knows* I like him.. he just doesn't realize that its .. ok....

    we flirt back and forth at parties a LOT.... (well, flirting in a way that would not be blatently obvious to anyone else there....)

    at least.. I *think* we are flirting.. we are so careful I could be misreading everthing and seeing what I want to...

    However.. I did get trunk and cop a fell one night... (he was drunk as well.. and never said a word .... so I wonder if he even rememebers.... not to mention he tries to pull me away from everyone else quite a bit... (show me new gym equptment in his gym... ) not to mention when he pulled his back last year.. he couldn't sit down.. but instead would stand up with his foot in a chair.. and.. (we were in a place with limited seating..) he made sure I sat in his chair and kept his foot between my thighs... THAT was .. probably a bit obvious.. but again nothing was ever said.. and by the time hubby and I got to the little get together <we will call him Fred to protect the guilty> Fred and the other 2 there had already wiped out a bottle of Jack... I would feel if he would ever flirt with me when he was NOT trashed

    I am going to offer a married womans opinion based on what you have posted.

    First, I do not see this as a swinging type situation. I see it as a lust for someone and the desire to "label" it as swinging in order to justify having sexual relations with someone other than your husband.

    Secondly, all of your "flirting" encounters have been in an alcohol induced state.

    Third and last of all, where is your husband when all of this is occurring? Where does he fit in?

    I could be entirely wrong, but I see this as an application for a license to cheat.

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  6. Back To Top | #6

    Exclamation

    quote:
    I am going to offer a married womans opinion based on what you have posted.

    First, I do not see this as a swinging type situation. I see it as a lust for someone and the desire to "label" it as swinging in order to justify having sexual relations with someone other than your husband.

    Secondly, all of your "flirting" encounters have been in an alcohol induced state.

    Third and last of all, where is your husband when all of this is occurring? Where does he fit in?

    I could be entirely wrong, but I see this as an application for a license to cheat.

    From a single woman's point of view: Ditto.

    Quin
    [Smiley_sex]
    One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

  7. Back To Top | #7

    Post

    If she has (as she said in the first post) the ok from her hubby, how is it cheating?

    I do agree that since all of the "flirting" encounters have been alchohol induced that that is not a good sign under any circumstances. But at the same time, it could just mean that there is interest there and the only time he feels that he can "get away with" showing that interest is if he has the "I was drunk" excuse to fall back on later, if anyone were to confront him on it.

    [ October 28, 2002, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: JustAskJulie ]
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  8. Back To Top | #8

    Red face

    Hold the show here a minute , is this guy married ? your husband say's ok but does his boss have a wife who would feel differently .

    Let me give you another thought , Are you swingers or is this a first time out side the marriage encounter ? Your husband could have a motive for allowing this . Who has he been looking at ?

    If it appears to good to be true , IT IS to good to be true , S and i are beginners in the life style but we do know it take a serious amount of communication before any thing is going to go right , also time to find who you are in the life style , it dont all just come to you in your sleep .

    Frankly i think your steping in a mud hole and are going to land chin deep . Now if you are in the life style , you have had the long talks that are required and know what each other hope to derive from your pleasures OK , but i dont get that out of your post .

    M

  9. Back To Top | #9

    Post

    M&S, you can read TestDiva's introduction here. It will fill you in more on who they are and their experience.
    http://www.swingersboard.com/cgi-bin//ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=15;t=000404
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Post

    quote:
    Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
    If she has (as she said in the first post) the ok from her hubby, how is it cheating?

    I do agree that since all of the "flirting" encounters have been alchohol induced that that is not a good sign under any circumstances. But at the same time, it could just mean that there is interest there and the only time he feels that he can "get away with" showing that interest is if he has the "I was drunk" excuse to fall back on later, if anyone were to confront him on it.

    I am just going to have to flat out disagree with you on this one Julie. Having been single for many years and seeing how different women act in an environment which is sometimes led on by alcohol, sometimes not, there are just times when you know that something is not all right in the "happy valley".

    Heck I for one have "shown an interest" in some people I wouldn't ordinarily give the time of day to when under the influence of a couple of vodka and tonics. That didn't make me a swinger then, it just made me easy and more likely to make bad decisions.

    I dunno, going with the gut feeling here unless the original poster can convince me otherwise.

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  11. Back To Top | #11

    Post

    Which part are you disagreeing with me on?

    The part where I said that it's not cheating if she has her hubby's ok. Or the part where I said
    quote:
    I do agree that since all of the "flirting" encounters have been alchohol induced that that is not a good sign under any circumstances. But at the same time, it could just mean that there is interest there and the only time he feels that he can "get away with" showing that interest is if he has the "I was drunk" excuse to fall back on later, if anyone were to confront him on it.

    Unless I misread something she said that HE (the guy) had been under the influences during all of their encounters, she didn't say that she had. I'm guessing she's sober now and has been around him when she was sober. So she knows that HER interest isn't based on alchohol intake.

    Of course, that doesn't mean that the interest he has shown her isn't. Since, from what I'm gathering from her posts HE is the one who has been under the influence during all of their "flirting sessions".

    All that said, If he has shown no interest when he's sober, I'd say leave it alone. But I don't think that if she were to play with this guy it would be cheating or any less a swinging situation so long as she has her hubby's permission to do so.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  12. Back To Top | #12

    Post

    quote:
    Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
    Which part are you disagreeing with me on?

    I just have a real bad feeling all the way around for this scenario. Can't really explain it other than been there, seen it before and I don't need it to slap me in the face again to recognize the intentions.

    And yes, I did read the link for the profile.

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Post

    quote:
    Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
    Unless I misread something she said that HE (the guy) had been under the influences during all of their encounters, she didn't say that she had.

    You must have missed this portion of the second post. I am going to hold firm on my opinion.

    quote:

    However.. I did get trunk and cop a fell one night... (he was drunk as well.. and never said a word .... so I wonder if he even rememebers.... not to mention he tries to pull me away from everyone else quite a bit...

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Post

    Well, I'm just a hick Okie, but it'd be my guess that any situation that has that much alcohol involved is not going to turn out to be a good experience. Avoid it as pure trouble.

    Mr. Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    óWill Rogers

  15. Back To Top | #15

    Post

    quote:
    Hold the show here a minute , is this guy married ? your husband say's ok but does his boss have a wife who would feel differently .

    Or even just a girlfriend. That's my question and to be truthful, I was assuming that the boss was married. If there is a female within his life, it's a total act of disrespect to not only this man's relationship with his woman but to the woman who is involved in a long term relationship with this man.

    Regardless, like Alura says:

    quote:
    Well, I'm just a hick Okie, but it'd be my guess that any situation that has that much alcohol involved is not going to turn out to be a good experience. Avoid it as pure trouble
    Outside of my college years, I can safely say that anytime there were drunk people involved in a swinging situation where I was present, there was always some kind of trouble. That's why I avoid drunk swingers like the plague.

    My position on the whole thing remains as I have posted above, specifically because of the alcohol involved, then throw in the possibility that there is a girlfriend/wife just makes it a bigger No-No.

    Quin
    [Smiley_sex]

    [ October 29, 2002, 12:01 AM: Message edited by: Quin ]
    One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

  16. Back To Top | #16

    Post

    quote:
    Originally posted by Quin:
    ...throw in the possibility that there is a girlfriend/wife just makes it a bigger No-No.

    Quite honestly I hadn't even considered the possibility of the boss having a girlfriend/wife. My feelings were expressed soley regarding the poster and her husband. When you throw in the above possiblity, then it makes it all that much worse in my opinion.

    Another thing that bothers me is the comment of "I have had a thing...". I know that I am attracted to other men/women in different ways, but I can't say that I've ever had a "thing" for them unless I was interested in more than just sex.

    Just my opinion though.

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  17. Back To Top | #17

    Post

    In my posts I was going under the assumption that this guy was single (all the way around) and that the original poster had enough respect for relatinships in general that if he wasn't this wouldn't be an issue. (I know sometimes I may hope that people are a little more than they are sometimes... but we still haven't heard otherwise either).

    I would like to hear from Testdiva again to clarify some of the questions that have come up here.

    I have stated from the beginning that the amount of alchohol that has been involved in this scenario is not a good thing (and thanks Lori for pointing out what I missed in that she was drunk in these encounters as well...) However I assume she wasn't drunk when she wrote out this post.. and has been around when they are both sober, to at least know that she is attracted to him without alchohol being involved.

    There are really a lot of issues involved here that make this not a good idea. I think everyone has made points to that affect, but if Testdiva is set on doing this we would hope that she would use common sense and excersice caution in doing so.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  18. Back To Top | #18

    Post

    quote:
    Originally posted by JustAskJulie:

    I would like to hear from Testdiva again to clarify some of the questions that have come up here.

    I, too, would like to hear back from Testdiva again as only she would be able to clear some of this up. It very well could be that I have barked up the wrong tree. I'll be willing to eat crow for dinner tonight if that is the case.

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  19. Back To Top | #19

    Post

    I think there are several issues on the table here, Tesdiva.

    1) This is hubby's boss. Consider this an extension of the tried and true "no office affairs" concept, made even more stringent by the fact that you are the wife of an employee

    2) and, as was said earlier, you have no clue how much will information will find its way into your husband's business circles, so it could follow him wherever he goes.

    3) Finally, I must agree with OhioCouple and Quin...you are looking for an excuse to cheat under the cover of your open relationship. Forget the whole influence of alcohol concern. Forget even, that you have hubby's permission. I see the real issue here being that your husband's boss makes you just a little too horny and you are investing just a little too much time trying to figure out how to get away with having sex with him. I believe that it is possible to want sex with a particular person just a little too much. When it's recreational, it's one thing, when it borders on obsession, that's another.

    4) Add this to a potential unknowing wife, in the background, and you have a total deal breaker in my book.

    My advice, for the sake of your husband's current and/or future career and possibly your marriage... chalk this up as a really bad idea, drop the obsession and move on to a better choice.

    As an aside, you said in your original post:

    "Hubby is all ok with me being with other men.. (as long as it won't screw up his career and.. taking for granted he gets to have a little fun too.)"

    but you didn't indicate that you swing together. Perhaps you should have a frank discussion about how you both really feel towards swinging and/or open marriage and consider making it a shared bonding experience rather than just an open door policy?

    [ October 29, 2002, 04:20 PM: Message edited by: incommunicado ]

  20. Back To Top | #20

    Post

    I think that everyone is over reacting to her original post. What should be done first and foremost is for her and her husband to discuss her feelings about his boss. If they have an open relationship and everything is ok based on their relationship and whatever type of relationship his soon to be ex boss is in and they are both sure that it will not affect his future business/employment picture then she should aproach the boss at a time when both of them are SOBER and just quietly and with decorum explain that she is attracted to him and also explain that she is only doing this with the ok of her husband and not behind his back and nothing will be hidden from her husband. Then see what happens.

  21. Back To Top | #21

    Post

    quote:
    Originally posted by OhioCouple:
    quote:
    Originally posted by Testdiva:
    I think he *knows* I like him.. he just doesn't realize that its .. ok....

    we flirt back and forth at parties a LOT.... (well, flirting in a way that would not be blatently obvious to anyone else there....)

    at least.. I *think* we are flirting.. we are so careful I could be misreading everthing and seeing what I want to...

    However.. I did get trunk and cop a fell one night... (he was drunk as well.. and never said a word .... so I wonder if he even rememebers.... not to mention he tries to pull me away from everyone else quite a bit... (show me new gym equptment in his gym... ) not to mention when he pulled his back last year.. he couldn't sit down.. but instead would stand up with his foot in a chair.. and.. (we were in a place with limited seating..) he made sure I sat in his chair and kept his foot between my thighs... THAT was .. probably a bit obvious.. but again nothing was ever said.. and by the time hubby and I got to the little get together <we will call him Fred to protect the guilty> Fred and the other 2 there had already wiped out a bottle of Jack... I would feel if he would ever flirt with me when he was NOT trashed

    I am going to offer a married womans opinion based on what you have posted.

    First, I do not see this as a swinging type situation. I see it as a lust for someone and the desire to "label" it as swinging in order to justify having sexual relations with someone other than your husband.

    Secondly, all of your "flirting" encounters have been in an alcohol induced state.

    Third and last of all, where is your husband when all of this is occurring? Where does he fit in?

    I could be entirely wrong, but I see this as an application for a license to cheat.

    Lori

    not too sure what the diffrence is in gaining justification on having sex with a person other them me is... but i thought it all fell to the same catagory...

    I am usualy sitting right there. hell it is usualy at work partys where most of this has happend

    next why dosnt anybody ask if we are moving to another town and then ask the question if He will still be in a profession connection in any way with me... to tell the trouth i am moveing roughtly 400 miles away and there will be no possiable way for the to be a professional conection.

    Next just to fill you all in... my boss is not truly my boss... he is the manager of where i work but he does not fall truly in the catagory of my boss... he is just a higher position in relation to where i work. which will make him my bosses boss and that is the only connection to where there is a problem

  22. Back To Top | #22

    Post

    wow... lots of... stuff here....

    *I have not been drunk on every occasion.*

    and, after asking my husband about it.. neither was he....

    I was drunk on one occasion though.. he just drinks a little more often then me.

    He is not married, and we don't know of any girlfriends.

    As far as the insenuation that my husband has some kinda ulterior motive.. he never has before... if he did I would figuere he would tell me. We have never been much on dirty little secrets...

    I am gonna GO EAT... I will come back and weed through the rest in a bit.. just wanted to let you know I am here and I can hear ya!

  23. Back To Top | #23

    Post

    Sorry forgot to add one small thing... i am the Husband of testdiva

    Daddytiger

  24. Back To Top | #24

    Post

    quote:
    Originally posted by Daddytiger:
    Sorry forgot to add one small thing... i am the Husband of testdiva

    Daddytiger

    I was hoping that was the case...lol. Since that's what it sounded like from your post

    Thank you both for coming back in and clearing up some of the questions. It's often hard to give advice when you don't know the whole story and there are a lot of factors that make up that story and determine what that advice should be.

    Please don't take the comments to heart. Sometimes we fill in the blanks with our own assumptions and those can be wrong at times.

    So you are changing jobs and the two of you are moving to a new town and want her to do the boss before you leave? Did I gather that right?

    If so, go for it.

    Sounds like she has already talked to him a bit, at least enough to determine that his interest wasn't solely alchohol based. Have you told him of your interest?
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  25. Back To Top | #25

    Post

    nah, we didn't take anything to heart.. there were a LOT of little details that I never really thought about giving out... his marital status and all.. since I would never "party" with a guy who was cheating it was a non-issue for me and.. I just did not even consider that in the mix.. I guess I never considered that as a possibility (the "swinging" with a married person whose spouse was in the dark... )

    I guess the best way would just be straight up and quit with the strange back and forth games.... (don't get me wrong.. games can be fun but this is just getting crazy.) Though Tiger has been telling me for the past year that this person is my "forbidden fruit" -- in other words "Everyone wants what they can't have... so if I got what I wanted... would it really be as good as I have managed to build it up to be...

    Honestly if we did go for it.. I would not wanna be him... seeing as I have some pretty hefty expectations (LOL) I am thinking this is one of those things better left as fantasy cause I'd be AWFULLY disappointed were he not to live up... As far as "obsession" I don't think I am obsessed or anything.... I just really get turned on by 3 things... (ironically) he is older - around 50 or so... pretty much bald and HARD as a rock...(I mean.. everywhere not just THERE [Eek!] THAT is what I like! can't really explain it.. but you don't find many men that fit into all three of those really... (however, Tiger says.. "at least I don't have to worry about getting older and losing my hair..." [rofl]

    We are gonna just kinda chill a bit and just see what happens at the next - and our last - little party. We'll see...

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Hubby's heart is breaking, what do I do now?
    By RidesLikeNew in forum How Do I Convince My Partner To Swing?
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 08-04-2007, 01:35 PM
  2. Hubby's fantasies and where I stand?
    By liv2 in forum Swinger Self-Esteem, Attraction, & Fear of Rejection
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 06-25-2006, 12:08 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About us
The Swingers Board is an online swinging community with something for everyone. Experienced swingers and those just curious about the swinging lifestyle are all welcome. We invite you to participate in the discussion forums, member blogs, swinger chat room, swinger stories, member photo galleries, swinger club listings and reviews, and all other areas of the site.


This site is run by a real swinger couple with the assistance of a great team of forum moderators who are also swingers. This site is free, and membership is open to all legal adults. While guests are able to view much of the site, registering will allow you access to all areas and full privileges.


Safe, sane, funny, smart, sexy - become a member and experience the Swingers Board!

Links
SwingLifeStyle Where REAL Swingers Meet

SwingTowns - It's Different @swingTowns

Swinger Zone Central The Zone - Get Into It

SDC SwingersDateClub for couples

Kasidie Sexually social

Adult FriendFinder Find Adult Sex and Friends

Alt.com BDSM and Fetish Dating Site

Wicked Temptations Wickedly Sexy Clothing

Sex Toy Fun Huge Selection, Great Prices!

Swingers Board
Subscribe to our newsletter!
E-mail Address

subscribe
unsubscribe