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  1. Back To Top | #1
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    Question Timing with Kids

    Just wondering when people found it easier to swing:

    1. When the kids are really young (less than 5)

    2. "Middle age" (6-12yrs)

    3. Teenages

    4. Left the nest

  2. Back To Top | #2

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    Swinging is kinda like socializing. Some people cannot socialize until there kids are over 5. Some allow themselves to indulge. They usually find a good sitter and go out and swing. The older the kids are the harder it is to keep the facts hidden though. AT some point you should just say, why bother?

  3. Back To Top | #3

    Default

    I don't have kids, so I'm not qualified to answer. However, based on my general observations, I would tend to think that if a couple was interested in swinging, it might be a great source of pleasure, especially when the kids are young.

    From what I've heard and seen, those early years are really tough on parents in terms of time available to spend together. They seldom have time to do much other than wear the "mommy" or "daddy" hat. And again, they sometimes start to perceive each other as nothing more than "mom and dad machines" - forgetting where they started in their relationship. (Just observations and comments from child-rearing friends.)

    Occasional swinging might give the opportunity for them to see and enjoy themselves and each other outside of the mommy/daddy roles - once again, the interesting, exciting, stimulating, sexy/sexual, dynamic person each was before the never-ending and sometimes exhausting chores of raising kids set in. It might also give them a glimpse into their future together in the sense that they will not always be confined to the mom/dad roles.

    I really - sincerely - honestly...tip my hat to all parents. I don't know how they do it and maintain. Really. -EBF

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Default young kids

    We have young kids and find it increadible delightful to get out of the house and do some "adult things". time is a precious comodity and we dont like to spend too much time away from the kids so we only get out about every other month, sometimes two. So when we do get to go we try and make sure we leave all the petty little stuff at home and make sure we both enjoy our time out toghether.

    Us plus You = a whole LOT of fun!!!

  5. Back To Top | #5

    Default I don't have kids...

    ...but I take care of my grandmother. That means cooking, cleaning, taking her to doctors appointments, and, most importantly, being around so she doesn't have one of those anxiety attacks that have put her in the hospital more often and problems with her diabetes or high blood pressure. That takes a lot more of my time than I've seen with people with children, because as children get older they need less attention and emotional support. As elderly people get older they need more attention and emotional support.

    Timing is very important, and making sure that someone you can depend on is around when you take time to go "play" can be extremely difficult. But taking the time to have some adult fun can relieve a lot of the stress of always being available for someone who can't take care of themselves.
    "Style is not lusting after somone because they are cool. Style is loving yourself till everyone else does too."

    Prince

  6. Back To Top | #6

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    Our kids are all little but I don't think that their age hinders our private life. We get our sitter to spend the night/weekend when we know that the activities of the evening will not bring us home. We have friends in the lifestyle that do frequent our home just as our non-swinging friends are welcome to stop in. Since having friends around the house is normal for us, it will hopefully lessen suspicion down the road. We won't suddenly have a social calendar, we are always busy.

    It will probably become more difficult to conceal our activities as the curious minds grow but for now our only difficulties revolve around the babysitter.

    Annette
    I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

  7. Back To Top | #7

    Default

    I have to agree that age doesnt matter with the kids much. We have two small children and we get a sitter and go out to spend some time together. We usually try to go out at least once a month now and the kids dont interfere. I also have to agree the older they get the harder it is going to be to keep them from knowing about what you are doing.

  8. Back To Top | #8
    Swingers Board Addict saranmark's Avatar
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    Default I hope not!

    I hope it doesn't get harder as the kids get older!!

    Obviously when you have children, entertaining in your own home is usually out. So, theoretically, when the children get older and you go out, they shouldn't become suspicious. For all they know, you will be going out to a night club.

    I'm being naive again, aren't I??

    SARA
    You know what they say: When in Rome, do... a Roman!!

  9. Back To Top | #9

    Default Alternative Babysitters for Alternative Needs

    I have found that in the past that my parents and siblings were great overnight babysitters so that I could entertain in my own home. (Don't you want to go visit grandma, grandpa, cousin, etc?)

    Also, as my daughter gets older I make sure to invite young girls to spend the night only because it seems to be recriprocated at a later date and it seems natural instead of requesting an ALL night babysitter.

    J.

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Default Mom & Dad go "dancing"

    Getting babysitters was always difficult for us as we had no family near us. Years ago we discussed swinging but no way was I ready for it.

    Now one kid is out of the house and the other is a teenager. We have had an empty nest this summer (ends this Sunday), so we have made the most of it.

    We tell them that we go to a dance club, and they think it is great that Mom and Dad go out together. Thankfully, neither one asks for any more specific information. Hope it stays that way!

    Pauline

  11. Back To Top | #11

    Default Time out!

    Child psychologists and doctors recomend a time out when children need to to away from others. OUr doctor tells us this is often missused by parents as a meand for the parent to cool off. Before we started swinging we began giving our selves the time out and not the children by going out for a night. This became useful when we started swinging because our relatives had become accustomed to our frequent "time outs".

    I would say it was easier after our youngest was done nursing. It is important to have a good baby sitter. Especially one that can handle most minor situations. We try not to ask grandparents to often. That way when they find out that you went out and didn't ask them to babysit you don't feel so guilty .

    As with the lifestyle everyone has their own comfort level when its time to deal with leaving children at home. As with anything use your best judgement.
    "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
    - Tom Clancy

  12. Back To Top | #12

    Default Re: I don't have kids...

    Originally posted by EternallySingle
    ...but I take care of my grandmother. That means cooking, cleaning, taking her to doctors appointments, and, most importantly, being around so she doesn't have one of those anxiety attacks that have put her in the hospital more often and problems with her diabetes or high blood pressure. That takes a lot more of my time than I've seen with people with children, because as children get older they need less attention and emotional support. As elderly people get older they need more attention and emotional support.

    Timing is very important, and making sure that someone you can depend on is around when you take time to go "play" can be extremely difficult. But taking the time to have some adult fun can relieve a lot of the stress of always being available for someone who can't take care of themselves.
    But, gosh, Eternally, think of your poor grandmother. How can one possibly find time to swing if your grandson is always around?

    Mr. Alura

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Default Re: Re: I don't have kids...

    Originally posted by Alura
    But, gosh, Eternally, think of your poor grandmother. How can one possibly find time to swing if your grandson is always around?

    Mr. Alura
    -EBF

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    Just curious are there folks here who have given up swinging until their kids are a certain age? Taking a break to take care of the kids?
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  15. Back To Top | #15

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    When Mr. Tybee and I got married, we were the parents of teens/young adults. Only one of them lived with us when we started swinging. She was accustomed to seeing her mom and stepdad going out a lot on "dates", anyway...we've always made time to go dancing at clubs, etc. From her perspective, when we started to swing, our evenings out were no different.

    Now that we have an empty nest, everything is even easier.

    Neither of us have been involved in swinging while we were parents of young kids. I imagine it would be very difficult. When we've been out with couples who have younger kids, sometimes their kids are calling their cell phones all evening about nothing in particular, and asking when they're coming home...it's a bit of a drag, especially for their parents!

  16. Back To Top | #16

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    We're like Tybee Swing ... our kids are teenagers/college age. Two live at home, but we go and do as we please. I would think the babysitter age would be a drag, unless the kids were spending the night someplace. Our biggest issue is that we don't have any private space at home, so no friends get to come over. That, too, will change one day

  17. Back To Top | #17

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    We have two kids one is little and babysiting is a issue but I would think that as she gets older just say going dancing are having a overnight date with dad, We do have a 18 old kid and he suspect we are swingers but he figure we are having fun and he knows we are still in love with each other so he figures it are business as long as we are still together.

  18. Back To Top | #18
    Being good is overrated sweet_tna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    Our short people are 6 & 8. We're very fortunate to have Mr. Sweet's mom, who loves to take the kids for sleepovers (even offers when we don't have plans!). We also have a "backup" sitter who will keep them overnight at her place. So for now, finding playtime isn't much of a problem.

    Since we also spend a good bit of time partying with vanilla friends, and have some of our playmates over regularly, I think we have a little while before they get suspicious of anything . . . I hope . . .

    =)
    I'd rather go to hell for doing something I enjoyed than heaven wondering what it's like.

  19. Back To Top | #19

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    We have 4 kids from ages 8 months to 11 years. When we say we need grown-up time, no one ever questions us. LOL
    Aspiring Amateur Pornstars

  20. Back To Top | #20

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    I don't have children of my own, and most likely never will, but I do have power of attorney, and thus occasional custody, of my almost-17 year old nephew, who is in boarding school 3 hours north of us. His mother is in Oregon, so if there is any issue, school break, long weekend, summers, etc., he is with us. He's also has substance abuse issues, and last summer learned the hard way that you have to keep a close eye on him.

    We are hoping things are better on that front this summer, because it killed our social life last summer. I got to go meet my FWB for a few hours of fun in July because the Spousal Unit watched him, but until he was safely ensconced in his boarding school, there was no joint fun or clubbing to be had and I didn't get to go to the meet up either because of the nephew (and other issues with the house).

    We'll have him at least 6 weeks this summer, and we are hoping with driving lessons, a class, and maybe working on the weekends, we'll have some adult time available. Or else we'll be stuck with the "you keep the kid out of the liquor while I go out" plan again.

    Funny, when I was single and dating, and had occasional custody of him from age 2-4, it was very easy to get a sitter and go out.

    As to EternallySingle's situation way back then, I have two friends who are in a similar situations. Taking care of the elderly does take up as much time as children and is stressful. I suspect getting to blow off some steam occasionally is quite valued for parents and non-parents with their own care responsibilities.
    I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available. A. Brilliant

  21. Back To Top | #21

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    We knew the timing was right when we were headed out one night and the kids asked where we were off to. When told we were spending an evening with friends. Their reply "Since when you you have friends". Lets just say from there on out at least one night a week was reserved for us, some times for naked encounters with friends some times for just dinner or a movie.
    Steve & Terri

  22. Back To Top | #22
    screaminggood
    Guest screaminggood's Avatar

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    Our kids definitely limit our encounters just because we're so busy with their activities that we don't often get to go out on a given weekend night. My pet peeve is how late the action starts at some of the clubs/parties. If the action doesn't start until midnight, I'm turning into a pumpkin before Prince & Princess Charming have finished our dances...because how can we explain to the kids that we stay out until 5 a.m.? What's open to blame it on?

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