For us at least you can use the old poem
"if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it was meant to be"
I know corny as hell, but in all truth it is what defines our relationship!!
To answer your question, yes It is our little secret that very few vanillas know, and yes we do share a wink and a nod from time to time. Not to mention the great conversations we have when we get a few moments alone.