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  1. Back To Top | #1

    Default Our little secret?

    So,

    I have been lurking on swingersboard for a few weeks. My wife and I are considering trying the lifestyle. We are still trying to wrap our heads around everything, but more on that later in another post. I have a question for the established married swinger couples out there. Do you and your spouse (jointly)think of swinging as "our little secret" - let me explain?

    Do you know how when you have known someone for a really long time and the two of you are really close you tend to have private jokes, or secrets that no one else knows or gets? I think that having those things that just the two of you get kind of make a relationship that much more special in a way. Do you and your spouse think of swinging in this regard? When you are in the day to day vanilla world, is it a special little secret between the two of you that makes your relationship that much more special?

    Don't read too far into this. I am not grasping at straws, we are not in a bad marriage that we are trying to make better. We love each other, have a great sex life and a great marriage. We are just trying to understand the dynamic that exists within a swinger marriage.

  2. Back To Top | #2

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    For us at least you can use the old poem
    "if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it was meant to be"

    I know corny as hell, but in all truth it is what defines our relationship!!

    To answer your question, yes It is our little secret that very few vanillas know, and yes we do share a wink and a nod from time to time. Not to mention the great conversations we have when we get a few moments alone.
    Happy swinging!!
    Kent & Leah
    All pleasure no pressure!!

  3. Back To Top | #3

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Yes and no. Yes, our swinging life is private... I mean we don't go around advertising that we swing anyway. Our oldest daughter found our profile on AFF and confronted us but, we really don't go to any great lengths to hide anything.

    Our favorite thing is to glance at each other and give each other the eye when my sister tells us stories of her neighbor who lives about five houses down about their "swinger" neighbor and their parties. It's actually hilarious to listen to her and her husband.
    Dave & Holly

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Wife and I have a few "inside jokes" The best one is "camping" We have a local adult campsite that while our vanilla friends think KOA WE know what we are talking about.

  5. Back To Top | #5

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Yes, and that is something I love about it. It's like being an international double agent, sexy, mysterious...! Having our secret makes it really fun.

  6. Back To Top | #6

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Yep it is our little secret and we hope it stays that way. But if it does not we can deal with it.
    Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
    Laissez le bon temp rouler
    C2S

  7. Back To Top | #7

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Yes, it's our little secret and we very much enjoy that aspect of it, kind of a partners in crime sort of thing

    Occasionally, something will get said by vanilla friends that hits way closer to the mark than anybody knows, and we just exchange one of those quick glances at each other that speaks volumes like long time couples do, and go on with the conversation without missing a beat. The most recent one was at a vanilla party when the girlfriend of someone we know was introducing us to some of her friends that we had never met - as part of the intro she said something like "what I like about these two is they are both ok with each doing their own thing - they'll start off together, then spend time with other people, then you'll see them back together later on."

    Hmmmmm, wonder where that comes from? Actually was a very perceptive observation, and was interesting since the few times that we had been around her were purely vanilla and we wouldn't have thought ourselves that that we were in that mode, but evidently we were, at least enough that someone who pays close attention would notice. We don't know her that well yet, but even before that comment she had made my swingdar twitch just a little though, so she might have had some first-hand experience of her own in that regard that helped her recognize the patterns of a fellow traveler.

  8. Back To Top | #8

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    All our family and most of our vanilla friends know that we are nudists but not that we are also swingers. So yes, it is our secret and we like it that way. Sometimes when we are with vanilla friends the subject of sex comes up and we have to be careful about what we say - we don't want to give the game away! And like others have said we do give each other a knowing glance or wink at certain moments in these conversations.

  9. Back To Top | #9

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Yeah, it's part of the fun. More so when we're out with another ls couple and we're mingling with others.
    You say "oral fixation" like it's a bad thing!

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    We once met a couple and fucked them on the second meeting. During a lull in the sex, Laura found out that a cousin of Mr. Playmate was her supervisor, a woman ... shall we say?... of whom, she was not fond.

    Laura enjoyed the deliciously naughty thought, "Oh, boy! What would that bible-thumping bitch say if she could see Mr. Playmate's cock this deep in my pussy and my tongue this deep in his mouth?"

    The "secret" remained an occasional topic of fond memories the rest of our time together.

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    —Will Rogers

  11. Back To Top | #11

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    When we go out for dinner we always score our servers based on how friendly they are and how hot they are. We've often talked about creating a scorecard to leave for them with their tip (When we're out of town)

    It feels great for us to be able to look at anyone on the street and turn to each other and say 9.0/9.5 . It's the little things that make life that much more fun.

  12. Back To Top | #12
    Swingers Board Addict Coupleerotic22's Avatar
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    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Yes, it is very much our fun little secret. Often, when the subject matter is relative to swinging/sex we give each other a knowing look, a wink or a very slight smile. It is our way of communicating and thinking silently to ourselves "if they only knew."

    It is actually one of the million or so delights we take in swinging. It is always fun having a back story to which the rest of the world is oblivious.
    "So let us begin anew - remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness” JFK

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Quote Originally Posted by Coupleerotic22 View Post
    Yes, it is very much our fun little secret.
    Having a secret can be exciting. Having an erotic secret can be erotically exciting.

    -- Big Nikki

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Quote Originally Posted by Coupleerotic22 View Post
    It is actually one of the million or so delights we take in swinging. It is always fun having a back story to which the rest of the world is oblivious.
    So, let me ask everyone this - What are some of the other non-physical delights that you take in swinging?

    Thanks for all the great responses everyone!

  15. Back To Top | #15

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    I love dressing up in sexy outfits and costumes. Going to swing clubs gives me a place to do it!

  16. Back To Top | #16
    Swingers Board Addict Coupleerotic22's Avatar
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    Default Re: Our little secret?

    I would say having conversations about things that most, if not all of our vanilla friends wouldn't understand. It is a nice guilty please to talk openly about our secret side to some people.

    And it is sometimes fun in vanilla company listening to the conversations knowing what we do.
    "So let us begin anew - remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness” JFK

  17. Back To Top | #17

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    I think a simple "yes" will do

  18. Back To Top | #18

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    We LOVE our secret little second life! We play the blue/green game so we can talk openly in public. When our swingdar goes off, we ask each other if a couple is blue (vanilla) or green (swinger).

    Hot couple walks by. "I wish they were green, but probably are blue. Bummer." Nobody has a clue what we're talking about

    It's beautiful.
    We make it HOT. Melting Igloos up here!

  19. Back To Top | #19

    Default Re: Our little secret?

    Quote Originally Posted by funcoupledayton View Post
    I love dressing up in sexy outfits and costumes. Going to swing clubs gives me a place to do it!
    I have to agree with this one. I love that about it! The friendships we are forming are priceless too. Even in just the few short months we've been doing this we've made friends that we've been able to be more open and honest with than any other friends we've ever had.

    Ha, ha, ha! "Swingdar." Hadn't thought of it that way, but that's exactly what it was this past weekend. We were out with vanilla friends and their friends, and we could just tell the way our friends friends were acting with each other that there was more going on there!

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