We have been dabbling in the lifestyle for 3 or 5 years now and so far have only met couples for soft swap and girl play. Mrs Shy has only had sex with Mr Shy and he has only had sex with one other girl in HS.
We ran into a guy we used to play with as part of a couple. Havent seen him in close to two years. He is currently single. So we were talking to eachother later and mentioned inviting him as a third. We had always played well together, had good chemistry, and trusted him. After we met them for the last time we actually considered letting them take our full swap"cherry". The female half of the couple was hot and even hotter in bed but I always said she had "crazy eyes" Anyway, they broke up about a year ago. They were never married. She moved cross country with her daughter to be closer to her family. Its over. So, not really looking for comments on if this is a good idea or not. We have made plans to get together in the near future. We have an excellent BS meter and trust our gut. He is a great guy and we have made plans to move forward.
Big concerns are for Mrs Shy:
a) She has never had sex with anyone else.
b) She had a quite conservative upbringing.
c) She is super sexy and enjoys sex very much!
We know our guy is respectful. He knows her back story. She wants to do the MFM. She just isn't sure if will be able to have sex with him. We will definately give her plenty of attention and get her worked up. She knows she is up for plenty of oral giving and recieving. Lots of touching, kissing, fondling, and wants to try a DP and possibly a DV. She just isnt sure when its there in front of her if she will be able to do it and if she does, how will she feel about it later.
We wouldn't try this with just anyone. We jnow this guy and have played before. So the guy and pushy, disrespectful behavior won't be a problem. I also think that she has a special part of her that likes the fact that she has only had sex with one man. She said no, but I think there is a part of her that doesn't want me to see how nasty she really is or can be. I (him) introduced the idea of swinging. The running joke was that I wanted to see her get it from two guys. I think she is hot as fuck. She is the woman I married, best friend, mother of my children, and love of my life (yea, sappy but true). In my case its true, everyman wants a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom. I just want to help her release her inner bad girl.
Just don't want to open a can of worms (or Pandoras box) that she will have trouble coping with.
Just sort of a side note on our style of play: we have several fantasies (4somes and 3somes). We always approach playtime knowing our own and our partners limits. Never go in with a script or scenario in mind. We have been with another where he was the director and not much fun. We prefer to set our boundaries out there and go with the flow. Let things happen organically and go where the heat of the moment takes us. So same plan for this outing, start playing and let her tell us where she wants to go as the evening progresses.