My boyfriend and I are fairly new swingers. Started about 6 months ago, and have had a few encounters. We've had 3 MFM's, been with 3 couples and on New Year's Eve, attended our first party.
When we arrived, there were 2 other couples, 2 single men, and a single woman who came with another couple. The single woman was quite young (22) and feeling overwhelmed. She decided she wanted to leave. The couple she came with decided to leave with her and take her home.
So that left the hosting couple, my boyfriend and I, and the 2 single men. I decided, to stay and have a good time. My boyfriend was very pleased that I didn't want to leave.
We played and had a good time. I found out there is something better than being the center of attention of 2 men. being the center of attention of 3 men. We also played with the host couple. Again, we had a good time. She is bi-sexual. I would call myself bi-curious. I do not find myself attracted to her. Her SO, has ED and does not enjoy giving oral sex. I'm not attracted to him either. But the 4 of us played together and had a good time.
So far, no problems, right? They like us very much and want to become regular play partners. My boyfriend, in his enthusiasm, readily agreed. We have since talked about that. He agrees we need to talk about things together before he commits us to anything. I have explained to him my position. I feel like there's not much in this situation for me. I'm not interested in playing with her. And he doesn't do oral and has ED. We are looking for friends in the lifestyle. They want to be friends too. But they also want to be friends that play. My boyfriend would be fine with that too, except he now knows how I feel about it. I'm ok with friends. I just don't want to play with them. I would like to attend parties they host. I would be ok with some play at the parties with other people to also play with.
So here's the situation. My boyfriend and the other couple want to play. I'm the hold up. I'm interested in being friends with them, but not playing. They called last night, wanting to get together as a "four-some" sometime this weekend. I said we could just hang out, play cards, I'd make them dinner, and see where it goes. I'm feeling very pressured to play with them because I know that's what everyone except me wants. How do I tell them I don't want to play, just be friends, without hurting their feelings?
Sorry this was so long. Thank you to everyone for reading and sharing your wisdom.