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  1. Back To Top | #26

    Default Re: Are cheaters accepted more easily?

    Quote Originally Posted by LFM2 View Post
    Thanks for the clarification! I do agree with this.

    We've met a lot of cheaters in the swinger world.... profiles galore of married men and women looking for fun on the side. I still have a hard time calling them swingers though. They're cheaters on a swinger site. I've also seen in the vanilla world too.

    I wish I could say that my moral compass points at true north; it doesn't and thankfully, it doesn't point south either. We're after all, only human.

    I still think that cheating is more widely accepted than swinging though. That's an obvious observation where I live.
    I think you may have hit on an important point, LFM2. Location seems to have a great deal to do with acceptance or rejection. I live in an area with a very high percentage of fundamentalist Christians, but also a high percentage of individualists. Swinging implies consent, whereas cheating does not. Cheating is almost universally condemned, but swinging is a more nebulous issue to these people. While they might not approve for themselves, they would be more likely to adopt a "laissez-faire?", attitude towards others, who practice it. I DO know that any condemnation would be much more likely to be directed towards the male half of the couple. The theory being that any man who allows his woman to be boffed by another man is by definition, a pathetic, unmanly creature, and would be viewed with contempt.

  2. Back To Top | #27

    Default Re: Are cheaters accepted more easily?

    Thank you all, people for the helpful responses.

    From what I read on this topic and from what I observed so far, I think that it was a mistake to write in my ad in a nonswinger dating site that I was married and had permission. It seems to scare a lot of people away right off the bat. Maybe it is better to have it off and disclose it a bit later, after it is more clear that the other side is interested.

  3. Back To Top | #28

    Default Re: Are cheaters accepted more easily?

    Quote Originally Posted by nllswing View Post
    Thank you all, people for the helpful responses.

    From what I read on this topic and from what I observed so far, I think that it was a mistake to write in my ad in a nonswinger dating site that I was married and had permission. It seems to scare a lot of people away right off the bat. Maybe it is better to have it off and disclose it a bit later, after it is more clear that the other side is interested.
    My mother-in-law used to live in the apartment in our place and we felt it was only fair - and wise - to let her know that we would be occasionally having...friends...over. Overnight. And that it wasn't a good idea to just pop upstairs to say hello. It took her a little while to really understand what we were saying, but once we spelled it out for her, she literally ran away. Later she asked Mr. intuition897, "Why don't you just have affairs?" Yeah. Lying to one another and denying reality...much better alternative.
    Fear is a symptom of ignorance. Knowledge is the cure.

  4. Back To Top | #29

    Default Re: Are cheaters accepted more easily?

    Age and location seem to be the two most determining factors in the acceptance/rejection issue. In my parents day , interracial relationships were the most frowned upon. Times change and so do attitudes, but we still must be careful how to approach these subjects to other people. That said, the issue of adultery/cheating seems to have stood the test of time. The bottom line is that integrity in personal relationships is the single most important factor, and causes the most adverse reactions.

  5. Back To Top | #30

    Thumbs up Re: Are cheaters accepted more easily?

    Quote Originally Posted by intuition897 View Post
    My mother-in-law used to live in the apartment in our place and we felt it was only fair - and wise - to let her know that we would be occasionally having...friends...over. Overnight. And that it wasn't a good idea to just pop upstairs to say hello. It took her a little while to really understand what we were saying, but once we spelled it out for her, she literally ran away. Later she asked Mr. intuition897, "Why don't you just have affairs?" Yeah. Lying to one another and denying reality...much better alternative.
    Always appreciate your insights and honest opinions

  6. Back To Top | #31

    Default Re: Are cheaters accepted more easily?

    I think cheating is accepted more because it's easier than swinging or being openly non-monogamous. To be open requires the fearlessness to be honest about what you want and a willingness to go through the myriad of issues like jealousy and ego bruisings that come along with opening up.

    Cheating requires that you just sneak off and fuck somebody.

  7. Back To Top | #32
    Swingers Board Addict DigginIt's Avatar
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    DigginIt

    Default Re: Are cheaters accepted more easily?



    Some where this topic took on a new life around honesty and judgement and a few other things.

    People are people...very true. Cheating is in the news everyday. Just pick up the local copy of People on the way out of the store and the subject is on the cover of every issue. Who's cheated on who this week. It sells really well obviously.

    The more something becomes a common thread of discussion it's loses it's shock value. Cheating has lost it's shock value years ago...swinging though I'm sure will be one of the next big ones as it rises in popularity.

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