Ok for starters I need to be upfront in that I am not a poly and we do not swing or play alone at all and neither one of us has ever had any intentions or aspirations of finding a girlfriend or boyfriend on the side. But another thread got me thinking about this question.
For the guys that are looking for a girlfriend on the side with permission from their wife, do you think some of them would be more successfull at finding that FWB or GF if they lied about having permission and were pretending to cheat?
I mean this seems really ironic in that as swingers we claim to value honesty and openness and look at cheating and adultry with disdain but as was pointed out by Julie on another thread, a lot of people just can't handle the truth. Some actually want to believe that they are cheating and that they are "the other woman." Once some learn the truth that they have permission and it is all right the relationship ends. In other words they would rather be with an adulterer having an affair than be a FWB or GF with someone playing with permission.
While we try to claim it is all sactioned and authorized, most of the general public has an easier time accepting adultry.
For women it's easy to get FWBs on the side but for guys a lot of women run if a guy trys to explain his wife is ok with it. While I can not condone dishonesty or deceipt, is the reality of the situation that a guy would be more successfull at finding a FWB if he were to lie about his permission status and pretend to be a cheater??
That flies in the face of all that I believe in as traditional, play-together swinger but I can see how it may be a reality in the world.
What are your thoughts on this? Are their times you are more successfull if you are a lamb in a wolf's clothing?