This is the female half writing. I do most of the stuff online in fact. I was the one with prior experiences before we were together. I'm the kind of woman who never seems to hurt for male attention since I was 13- not "perfect" but very curvy and fairly attractive. My husband is outgoing and handsome, but he's been going through a rough period within himself- just not feeling at the top of his game professionally or physically. I think he's brilliant and beautiful. And regularly tell him so.
We have some amazing experiences together, but a common theme has unfortunately been that most women are simply more shy than I am in the bedroom. Because he's a gentleman, he never wants to be pushy and has often felt that the woman wasn't into him when in fact they were, but just much more inherently shy than myself. Meanwhile, I'm trying to enjoy myself (with him and with another couple- I'm bi and our swinging time is my only time I get to be with another woman). I never want to leave him out, nor do I try to, but he's had that feeling at times.
We met up with a fabulous couple last night and I had a great time, but at the end of the evening when they left, he told me he felt she wasn't at all into him and again was feeling left out. I made a strong conscious effort to pay him a lot of attention and probably 80% of my attention was toward him. He says he doesn't feel jealous, but left out. We got an e-mail today from the couple saying what a great time they had and including how handsome and what a gentleman she thought my husband was and also how after that first playtime happens for them, she tends to become far less shy. I'd love to get together with them again, but right now he's thinkig about it.
As for me, I'm kind of at a loss. I want to make him happy, but I don't know what else to do at the moment. Should we ONLY play with couples with women we know are as assertive as me? I'm leaning toward a three month break to re-group and suggested that and he's thinking about that as well. I love my husband and do not want to hurt him, but my gut feeling is he needs to get his own psyche together and build up his confidence again. We've been swinging almost two years by the way, so not newbies.
Sorry for the anonymous thing, but we have the same name here as our profile name and I do not want to offend anyone or be a potential "drama couple".