Results 1 to 20 of 20
  1. Back To Top | #1

    Default Common Courtesy and Common Sense

    This has been bugging me for weeks now. I am curious to know if anyone else has this problem.

    We have our profile listed on a pay site, one in which the intent is to meet other people for potential swinging. A little over a month ago or so, we changed our profile to read that we are not swinging or meeting new people at this time. The type of site we belong to is one that we are a paid lifetime member, so deleting the profile isn't a reasonable option.

    Without fail we get on the average of 3-5 responses a week that just don't bother to read that very first line. As we do write everyone back as a courtesy, we explain to them what they obviously couldn't read the first time around, wish them the best, etc. Lo and behold though at least one of those are going to write back and either plead their case or be very rude and crass to the point of telling us how awful we look, critiquing the generic information, or tell us we are game players. I don't get it? We didn't originate the contact, they did. Not answering them doesn't always work either. Sometimes the hate mail from that is even worse.

    Just this morning there is a brand spanking new one that just reeks of being this weeks creme de la asshole. He speaks with his 8 1/2" fully cut cock and her with her 40 DD's who is just aching to try bi and asks if we are available Saturday night. They promise we won't be disappointed. They give us their IM addresses, and get this, a phone number! To someone they don't even know who isn't even swinging right now! UGH! I am half tempted to call them just to play games with these senseless dweebs.

    Okay, I'm finished venting. Does anyone else have similar problems and if so, how do you handle it?

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  2. Back To Top | #2

    Default

    Hi OhioCouple. The fact is there are very ignorant people in this world. The type that has never heard the word "no" from mommy & daddy.

    How would we handle it? We would avoid them.
    M&M

    Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

  3. Back To Top | #3

    Default

    Wow Lori,

    that is amazing that you are having such a rough experience with these people.

    There was a time that we withdrew from the lifestyle as well.

    I talked to the organizers of the site and had them list my address as "temporarily unavailable" - I realize that this is not an option in your case.

    For the people that still managed to get through and there were still quite a few.

    I had a little form letter thing that explained briefly the circumstances - due to illness within our family we were choosing to focus our energies yadda yadda

    I got tons of positive responses - best wishes, sympathy, offers of prayers etc.

    sorry you are having a rough time.

    A.

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Default

    If removing your profile is not an option simply change the email address to a bogus one. Even the dumbest person will recognize a returned mail.

  5. Back To Top | #5

    Default

    Originally posted by Close Encounters
    If removing your profile is not an option simply change the email address to a bogus one. Even the dumbest person will recognize a returned mail.
    Actually the site is self contained with their email system, therefore we cannot change that either. It would have been a great option though.

    The way it works is that we are sent an email from the site letting us know that we have a message waiting to be picked up on that site. We could always just not check them, but we do still correspond with the many friends we have made from there. Only a small handfull have our personal address, but we wouldn't want to discount the others that we haven't yet met in person but have corresponded with for a while prior to curtailing our swinging. I don't mean to make it all sound terrible. There are quite a few that are out of state which we met at a group function last year that contact us from time to time and we have had several new couples that have contacted us that we would absolutely consider getting to know better. Those that have written though, stated in their message that although the realized we were not swinging at the time, they hoped our situations improved and asked that we would perhaps consider getting to know them better in the future. One of the couples we are corresponding with, just generalized chatting now and then with the full realization on both parts that we don't know when we will resume. They seem like great people.

    It is just such a headache dealing with the senseless people.

    Here is the line in our profile. Perhaps some advice could be offered on how to make it more affective.

    *********UPDATE....WE ARE CURRENTLY NOT MEETING ANY NEW COUPLES DUE TO FAMILY ISSUES WHICH ARE OCCUPYING OUR WAKING HOURS. PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENEDED IF WE DO NOT RETURN AN EMAIL TO YOU IN A TIMELY MANNER. WE ANSWER ALL MAIL TOGETHER AND OUR SCHEDULES DO NOT ALLOW MUCH TIME FOR THAT RIGHT NOW*******


    Thanks all, for your advice.

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  6. Back To Top | #6

    Default

    Lori, I think your statement should say enough, If they can't respect that, then I wouldn't bother. You have even advertised that you may not respond. I had a bad experience on one of those sites too. The one that we belong to has a feature that allows us to at least block out the total A-holes. Have you trie dasking the webmaster if she can at least remove or suspend your profile temporarily?
    I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah!

    --Austin Powers

  7. Back To Top | #7

    Default

    I'm with Roxy. I wouldn't bother responding at all to those who can't bother to actually read your profile before responding.

    The only thing I might suggest is to take your profile a step further and remove everything else from it except for that line.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  8. Back To Top | #8

    Default

    Originally posted by OhioCouple
    ...
    Here is the line in our profile. Perhaps some advice could be offered on how to make it more affective.

    *********UPDATE....WE ARE CURRENTLY NOT MEETING ANY NEW COUPLES DUE TO FAMILY ISSUES WHICH ARE OCCUPYING OUR WAKING HOURS. PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENEDED IF WE DO NOT RETURN AN EMAIL TO YOU IN A TIMELY MANNER. WE ANSWER ALL MAIL TOGETHER AND OUR SCHEDULES DO NOT ALLOW MUCH TIME FOR THAT RIGHT NOW*******
    ...
    My gosh, Lori, I don't see how it could be any more clear than that, what with the caps and all.

    I sure don't understand some people, and I suppose I never will. I'll tell you one thing though: we won't respond at all to emails like the one you received. People who feel the need to brag about the sizes of various parts of their anatomy elicit mostly laughter from us, but not return email.

    -B
    "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain
    All about us...

  9. Back To Top | #9

    Default

    We are having a similar problem but on a smaller scale. Sabrina and I are expecting our second child in May. We changed our profile on a personals site to let people know that we won't be playing for a while and we even tell them why. Just like you though we get mail from people not even courteous enough to read the first line. I have stopped responding to people that just see a profile and ask if we want to swing with them. My opinion is that if people don't take the time to read a profile they shouldn't expect someone to take the time to respond to them.

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Default

    We ended up doing as Julie suggested and removed everything with the exception of that line and the fact that we were male/female. (Oh, we did leave our pictures as I can't duplicate them again.)

    We did not answer the last yahoo's and the only mail we have received have been from those that we have normally had contact with for some time and are a pleasure to hear from. I don't know why I didn't think of doing that sooner.

    I suppose I just don't understand the mentality of some people. We would never write to someone without fully reading their ad. In our opinion, those that don't just reek of desparation and aren't the type of people we are looking for anyway.

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  11. Back To Top | #11

    Default

    We had a similar problem on a pay site w/ someone being rude. Our profile clearly stated how far we were willing to travel. Our first e-mail was from a couple well out of our travel range (we were willing for 50 and I believe they were 150 away) and I politely told them, ty but you're too far away for us to meet. The next contact I recieve from them was all about how we must be ashamed to meet them because they are skinny and we are fat. We are both large, but that had NOTHING to do w/ our decision-they were too far away!!! I forwarded the message to the site owner since it was out of line IMO. Perhaps you should try the same thing if that is an option, if you're paying for the service you shouldn't have to deal w/ jerks IMO.

    Good luck!
    Start a revolution, stop hating your body!

  12. Back To Top | #12

    Default

    I just don't get it. We removed EVERYTHING but one paragraph from our profile which clearly states we are not meeting new people. We are still averaging about one new mail a week. The one from this morning just really yanks my chain.

    "Hi, we really love your profile and will be in your area on Saturday May 17 and would love to meet with you. You look like an attractive couple and it appears we share some common interests. Love your second picture.

    Let us know, thanks"

    I'm not sure whether to feel insulted or just giggle myself silly. Now it wouldn't be so bad if they were NEW members, but these folks have been on this site since 2000.

    So are we a NOTHING couple since we have NOTHING in our profile, and since we share common interests, we share a whole lot of NOTHING, with another NOTHING couple? The only other thing that we could possibly have in common other than NOTHING are "family issues"... Thanks but, no thanks, I have enough of my own.

    AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Default

    Plucking an idea out of the air, is it possible these people saw your advert *before* you decided to remove all the details, thought it of interest, and then saved it to their hard-drive? Their email might have been based on that, rather than your current, emaciated profile.

    Alternatively, they could just be people who are one sandwich short of a picnic.

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Default

    Lori, I have gotten replies on our paysite (I think its the same one as yours from what it sounds) from the same people like 10 times. And it always says the same thing, word for word. I am wondering if somehow they are spamming the site. Maybe they just go through all the profiles in the same area with a generic reply. One guy e-mailed us at least once a week for well over a month, each letter was exactly the same. I finally had to block him.

    I know that it is frustrating...maybe if you go into your "what I'm looking for feature" and take off single men and couples just leaving single females. This will block them from even seeing your profile in a search , except for the fems but how many of them are on there?...lol.
    I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah!

    --Austin Powers

  15. Back To Top | #15

    Default Unwanted email

    If someone doesn't take the polite hint we simply block their email. Life is too short to bother with fools that can't understand NO.
    fun_pairTX

  16. Back To Top | #16

    Default

    Originally posted by Brit_Pair
    Plucking an idea out of the air, is it possible these people saw your advert *before* you decided to remove all the details, thought it of interest, and then saved it to their hard-drive? Their email might have been based on that, rather than your current, emaciated profile.
    I never thought of that. I do know there is even a feature within the site that allows you to add friends and place notes in it about them.

    They appear to come off as pretty sensible people in their pictures and their profile and they have been members for a long time. Hmmmm, interesting thought.

    Lori

    PS. Roxy, we can't remove couples on our website, only singles, unless something has changed that I don't know about.
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  17. Back To Top | #17

    Default

    Still another possibility.
    People can earn up to 50 cents each for good email addresses.
    If one sends out 10,000 mails and receives 2000 replies with 50% supplying an external email address then that person has earned a cool $500 for a days work of copy and paste.

    It is far more likely that this is what is happening than someone with an interest is writing without reading your profile.

  18. Back To Top | #18

    Default

    Originally posted by Close Encounters
    Still another possibility.
    People can earn up to 50 cents each for good email addresses.
    If one sends out 10,000 mails and receives 2000 replies with 50% supplying an external email address then that person has earned a cool $500 for a days work of copy and paste.

    It is far more likely that this is what is happening than someone with an interest is writing without reading your profile.
    Now that is very interesting. Just recently we received as one of our e-mails about female ejaculate and that if I (the female half) were unable to do it, the bi-female half would be willing to teach me...blah, blah.... Of course I go and look at their profile and they had been a member for a total of 17 days and had sent out nearly 7000 e-mails. It became an issue in the forum on that site as they thought it should be regarded as a SPAMMER as many had written them back and asked for pictures, of which they said they couldn't offer. They responded to each that requested pictures that they weren't set up for that.

    Many complained to the webmasters but were told that they couldn't prove it was spam (which isn't tolerated) since they had no links to a website in their profile. So this yahoo, paid the minimum for a short period to send out a mass mailing and probably will make a bundle of money off of it....

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  19. Back To Top | #19

    Angry

    We too, like many of you, get people who don't ever read the content of what we have written in our adds. It seems, aside from the obvious spammers, that a lot of people must be drunk or stupid when they send out messages. We are constantly feilding mail from people with requests our profile clearly states we won't do, or PHONE numbers!! Like we would ever phone someone we don't know and give them our own number on their caller ID. Then there's the people who PM us via Yahoo! Of special contempt are the hordes of men that send, "U R HOT!" Then ask us to cam...YOINKS! Generally, we ignore all uninvited PMs unless someone stands out which is rare indeed. When we get univted mail from people who do not read our profile we also ignore that. The few times we have tried to be polite ended with being harassed to no end. What really bothers us is when we give a polite, "while we find you both attractive, we feel that we would not be compatable at this time" they DEMAND to know why and call us names. I, the male, generally get to the accounts 1st and delete a lot of the bad stuff with out bothering my partner over it.

  20. Back To Top | #20

    Default

    I think that it would be pretty easy for someone with a programming background to write scripts to 'harvest' user IDs and then email everyone on an ad site.

    We have received some strange emails on SLS recently. They always come in three's, as if perhaps the 'script' isn't working quite right. They never directly reference anything in our profile and are very general messages. I replied to one, just for fun, and didn't get a response for about a week. When I finally did (and there were three messages again), it didn't reference anything in the email I had sent back, it was just a general message that could have worked for anybody. I'm pretty sure that a spammer is at work and if it happens one more time, I'll report it.

    -B
    "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain
    All about us...

Similar Threads

  1. Men's Erectile Dysfunction is giving her a complex
    By curiouscple40 in forum Performance Anxiety & Erection Issues With Swingers
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 09-11-2006, 05:41 PM
  2. how common is it for men to have erection problems?
    By biblonde in forum Performance Anxiety & Erection Issues With Swingers
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-09-2004, 07:30 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About us
The Swingers Board is an online swinging community with something for everyone. Experienced swingers and those just curious about the swinging lifestyle are all welcome. We invite you to participate in the discussion forums, member blogs, swinger chat room, swinger stories, member photo galleries, swinger club listings and reviews, and all other areas of the site.


This site is run by a real swinger couple with the assistance of a great team of forum moderators who are also swingers. This site is free, and membership is open to all legal adults. While guests are able to view much of the site, registering will allow you access to all areas and full privileges.


Safe, sane, funny, smart, sexy - become a member and experience the Swingers Board!

Links
SwingLifeStyle Where REAL Swingers Meet

SwingTowns - It's Different @swingTowns

Swinger Zone Central The Zone - Get Into It

SDC SwingersDateClub for couples

Kasidie Sexually social

Adult FriendFinder Find Adult Sex and Friends

Alt.com BDSM and Fetish Dating Site

Wicked Temptations Wickedly Sexy Clothing

Sex Toy Fun Huge Selection, Great Prices!

Swingers Board
Subscribe to our newsletter!
E-mail Address

subscribe
unsubscribe