Coming from San Francisco and not having kids and working for a large, liberal, multi-national company, we are out. Very out. Everyone who knows us well knows we're kinky and play with others. The folks I work with know. Even my boss knows. ( Went to a costume party he was at in full fetish leather complete with chains and whips etc. He looked at it and said. "Ahhh.... that's not a costume is it? His wife later asked where we met one of our girl friends. "At an orgy" was Sam's reply. "Sam" is my wife's nickname)
We're out but we are also very discrete about others. "Out" and "Open and Honest" does not preclude respecting confidentiality. We are scrupulous about confidentiality.
My question for the board is how "out" folks are about their lifestyle outside the very open and out San Francisco area.
We find life much easier being out. We don't worry about being "outed" and telling "white lies" about where we went when attending events. We try not to offend and push our lifestyle into someone's face but when asked a question we give a full and truthful answer. In general, as long as we're comfortable saying it without an attitude and without being pushy, they don't have a problem.
This leads to some great discussions with vanilla folks. Also, people interested in the lifestyle or leather scene know they can approach us. We've made some swing friends this way but more often play the role of mentor or coach, helping them get into the lifestyle.
BTW, the comment to my boss's wife wouldn't have been made to folks who weren't already aware of our play. That would be too pushy for us.