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  1. Back To Top | #1

    Default Are younger swingers uncomfortable when older swingers are in club?

    We're in our 50s, and we have been to several clubs in different cities with all ages. A question came up recently and we were wondering if others may have some thoughts or answers.

    Are you younger swingers, 20s. uncomfortable when there are swingers in the club that are in their 40s, 50s, even 60s?

    Does it bother you to be watched by an older couple, or to have an older couple being active in the club you attend?


  2. Back To Top | #2

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    Being in the low 30's I wouldn't say uncomfortable, but we don't get much from it either.

    Most of the 50+'s we see at the clubs are not in great shape male or female and its not much of a turn on for us. I know its not politically correct on swingers boards to mention that age/looks is a turn off, but its true for us. We don't want them kicked out of the club or anything like that, but its just not a turn on.

    We don't do much at clubs other then socialize, but I think it would be odd being watched by someone our parents age. Again, its our problem, not theirs, but its just not 'sexy' to us.

  3. Back To Top | #3
    xerogirl
    Guest xerogirl's Avatar

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    We are 25 and 27 we go to clubs. I do "not" think older people are a mood killer or turn off for us." Everyone ages it's as natural as sex. "As for the watching when we do have sex in an open room that is an invite to ALL to see ours buts grins lol. If we do not want WATCHED we go to a room. We think most people playing in an open room WANT WATCHED. That's my thoughts god bless the swingers young and old!!!!

  4. Back To Top | #4

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    The first time I attended a swinging club I was in my mid twenties.

    We hooked up with a tremendous looking couple. After the fact they told us they had TEENAGE kids! I was shocked. We had two at the time and they were 5 and 2.

    I just couldn't get over the fact the these people we had sex with could have been old enough to have teenage kids.

    Well, now the one that wasn't born then is bout to turn 18...LOL.

    I have gone from looking at older swingers as "what the fuck are they here for", to "hey its a lifestyle".

    As I progress into my mature years, I will fondly remember each and every one of the friends I and we made.

    Remember that the young swingers are the future of the community.

    The music and the different ways they handle themselves is not to be frowned upon but to be embraced.

    The swinging community is like all others. The old ones should be respected and the young ones should be allowed to change things.

    As we suddenly realize 20 years slipped by then it dawns on us.

    I encourage younger couples to expore the lifestyle. I have seen many a marraige saved by turning to swinging.

    So many young couples feel trapped by the awful thought of having to have sex with just this gal/guy.

    The 7 year itch is scratched by involving the two of you if you can handle it.

    If you can't handle it then thats OK, but maybe it is the answer to the questions you were afraid to ask.

    If you have marital problems swinging will make them worse though.

    Only stable couples should even consider swinging.

    OH I went on and on again.

    John.

  5. Back To Top | #5

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    OK---the young girls seem to like older men (not too old) and the older men like younger women (not too young).

    We are in our late 30's and look at the younger cpls in the clubs. They tend to hang with other young folks and don't bat an eye to the older cpls. So it is like a "click" to which group folks tend to flock to.

    I think younger cpls could learn more from the older cpls---not so much as in sex, but more on an educated level of the lifestyle. Like "mentors" I could say. Also, cpls in their 20's may know about sex, but do they know about maturity in sex? Those of us in our late 30's and beyond seem to know what we like and also how to please another person on a mental level. We tend not to play head games so much, but that will vary from cpl-to-cpl.

    There are a lot of us in our late 30's and mid 40's that look pretty hot still. I think a lot of it depends on how well you take care of yourself for the younger cpls to look at us older cpls. I have seen guys who are 35 yrs old and look like 45 because their hair is greying. Use some dye will help. Sun damage is a big killer for older cpls looking young.

    So those young cpls that look at us older cpls as "old folks"----well---they will be here someday too. We are only as young as we feel. To bad the body ages faster than the mind---LOL.

    "J"

  6. Back To Top | #6

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    Originally posted by Chicup
    Being in the low 30's I wouldn't say uncomfortable, but we don't get much from it either.
    For myself, I feel like Chicup does, but on the flip side of it. Being in the over 40 age group, the younger ages don't appeal to me sexually, therefore I don't spend a lot of time noticing them. I am not uncomforable in the same environment, quite the contrary, but I don't find them as sexually appealing as I do the older crowd. Speaking for myself, I find the older crowd more sexually appealing as the way they present themselves is generally in a more mature manner, (I said, generally) and there is just something so cool about seeing them being as sexually interested and comfortable with their own sexuality as they were in their youth, (if not more so), that makes me think wow! I can't wait to turn 50.

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  7. Back To Top | #7

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    I don't know how it is at swinger clubs(we've never been to one), but I did have the opportunity to photograph a local bikini contest recently. We live in a college town, and young cuties are everywhere. One of the contestants came up to my wife and told her (somewhat drunkenly) that these three guys thought she(my wife) was really hot, and could they meet her? They almost dropped their drinks when she told them that she had a kid almost their age(18). She turns 40 this month, and turns heads everywhere she goes. I'll be 56 this summer, so hanging around with a "babe" like her doesn't hurt my "cool" points one bit. I actually get tickled whenever I catch these young bucks drooling over my wife. If she was into younger guys, she could definately teach them a thing or two!! Sportync
    this ain't no dress rehearsal

  8. Back To Top | #8

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    I think it's great to see "older" couples at clubs and parties. We are what some would call a young couple. She is turning 23 and I 26 this year. We have never looked down upon or avoided a couple because of thier age. That is rather childish.

    We have been watched by "older" couples at a party whilst we were in the act. That wasn't a problem either.

    As for the question at hand:

    "Are you younger swingers, 20s. uncomfortable when there are swingers in the club that are in their 40s, 50s, even 60s"?

    Absolutely not!
    M&M

    Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

  9. Back To Top | #9

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    I dont know about others, but I have nothing against the so called "older swingers", infact I think it's great. I would feel more at ease with "older swingers", as they seem a lot more approachable, they have already worked through the sometimes Bull of looks over personality. I am 28 and I would happily swing with a aolder couple if we clicked, I tend to look at the inside rather than the outside.
    Always try things three times:
    1st time to try it out. 2nd time to see if it's better. 3rd time just to recap 1st and 2nd.

  10. Back To Top | #10

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    My boyfriend and I are in our mid forties...frankly he looks younger than I do. He is attracted to older women and so all of our encounters have been with couples older than we are. At first I thought "ewwww" but now I concentrate less on the physical and more on the mental aspects of what we are doing.
    We're really doing it for/to each other so it doesn't matter all that much what the people look like as long as they are well groomed.

  11. Back To Top | #11

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    The only time I would say I'm uncomfortable is when older swingers start hitting on me simply because I'm younger. This is more common in a situation when the crowd is mostly older. I have no problems with older swingers and have played with older couples on occasion... it's all about the people not the age. Of course, if an older couple/person reminds me of my parents it's an instant turn-off... but just the fact that they are older doesn't instantly mean they will remind me of one of my parents.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  12. Back To Top | #12

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    Originally posted by JustAskJulie
    ...... but just the fact that they are older doesn't instantly mean they will remind me of one of my parents.
    We were just discussing this last night and came up with the same thing. J still has the hots for Sean Connery and he's 72! Age would only be a problem if they looked or acted like our parents. That would be weird.

    -B
    "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain
    All about us...

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Default older and younger swingers

    We are 49 and 40, my wife being the younger. We do go to an on premise club occasionally and always have a great time. There are usually couples there both older and younger than we are, some as young as our older kids (early 20's). We usually stick pretty much nearer our age group for play partners although we hot tub and converse with everyone, and we all have an enjoyable experience. I will admit that there are some really hot looking younger (20's) women there, but my involvement is limited to fantasizing how hot their MOM must be to have made something that looks that good.......LOL. I guess I have reached the age where I appreciate comfort over speed LOL.
    fun_pairTX

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Default Older Members

    Originally posted by Chicup
    Being in the low 30's I wouldn't say uncomfortable, but we don't get much from it either.

    Most of the 50+'s we see at the clubs are not in great shape male or female and its not much of a turn on for us. I know its not politically correct on swingers boards to mention that age/looks is a turn off, but its true for us. We don't want them kicked out of the club or anything like that, but its just not a turn on.

    We don't do much at clubs other then socialize, but I think it would be odd being watched by someone our parents age. Again, its our problem, not theirs, but its just not 'sexy' to us.
    Most of the sex I have away from the swinging scene is with people my own age. So when I swing I enjoy experimenting with different people of different generations and culture. It gives me a thril to play with an older woman, or to suck the cock of a man old enough to be my father. Not that I have any incestuous thoughts. To be able to bring an older couple to orgasm is delightful

    Laura (25)

  15. Back To Top | #15

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    Originally posted by JustAskJulie
    The only time I would say I'm uncomfortable is when older swingers start hitting on me simply because I'm younger. This is more common in a situation when the crowd is mostly older. I have no problems with older swingers and have played with older couples on occasion... it's all about the people not the age. Of course, if an older couple/person reminds me of my parents it's an instant turn-off... but just the fact that they are older doesn't instantly mean they will remind me of one of my parents.
    My parents were like 40 and 52 years older than me. I have a lot of room above but man these young chicks that I use to snare sure look at me funny now and then. I guess I must look like there daddy. Deep sigh.

    I want a youthful woman that has an older mentality. One that can be sassy and turn around and be wise. One that will becon to my call but make damn sure its worth beconing to.

    OH fuck it, I just wanna get laid.

    Pastor John. (the guy with callouses on both hands cuz he likes threesomes). When I get laid I will proclaim it loud on this board I'll tell ya that much. My daughter says if it don't happen within 3 months shes kicking me out. She tried to set me up with a recently divorced mother of one of her friends....uh uh, no way. She likes me and is cute but I figure it takes a lot of time after you finish a relationship to start another one. Im rowing that boat now, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get intimate with anyone yet. OH IM VENTING. Hey its ruff sometimes people. Give your loved one a big hug cuz you are lucky people. You gotta realize what you have and make the most out of it because it can be gone tomorrow.

    John.

  16. Back To Top | #16

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    there are a lot of factors that contribute to the choosing of a potential swing partner and age is one - so is appearance, manners, attitude, common interests, and if they smoke or not (yik - don't want to kiss any ashtrays)

    but as for being uncomfortable about older couples being at the club? no.

    I guess we are in the middle at 33 and 35 - and I have to say that I don't find that the 20-25 year olds in general have much to say although there are exceptions

    I've always found it a turn on to be watched - and I think particularly by older couples -- they have better manners

    and as partners, as someone else said - they've already worked out their issues...

    Naughty A.

  17. Back To Top | #17

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    We tend to agree with Chicup. Our parents age between 40 and nearly 70. ( She is 26 and he is 31)We can't picture ourselves being intimate with someone the same age as them. Maybe as we grow older things will change, but for now we are comfortable this way.
    I've been reading this forum for several months and repeatedly I see people say you should be comfortable, comunicate, and sincre. I find it rather disturbing when people contradict this attitude in the lifestyle when it comes to a persons age. Someday the table may be turned and we may wish to swing with much younger couples, but only if they are comfortable with us and our age.
    These are the boundries we have set for ourselves,amoungst a few others, to ensure safe and secure experiences. We don't ask anyone to accept them, just respect our choices.
    "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
    - Tom Clancy

  18. Back To Top | #18

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    I have found that most twenty somethings like the way I have absolutely no concern for who is around when I belch like an overstuffed beached whale.

    They don't mind the fact that I scratch myself right through my kiss lips boxers either.

    They are mildly amused when I discuss my hemmoroids and lower back problems.

    They seem to tune out when I get on the music subject but thats ok......m and m is a good candy to me......oh ite emenem...oh yeah.

    Now when we talk politics I really have the twenty somethings going when I mention the recent events of watergate.

    I see no difference.

    I saw some when I was in my twenties tho....wierd huh?

    John

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