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  1. Back To Top | #1

    Default Moving from same room to separate room play

    We have for two years felt that same room play was what we preferred, believing that a lot of fun was to be found in seeing one another. We do this together, could have been something we said.

    At a convention this summer we met a really nice couple who managed with no effort to lead us to separate room play. it was a wonderful experience and we each spent from about midnight until 6AM playing with the respective other halves of the couple.

    Then we spent another hour talking about it with great excitement. We now realize that it was so much more enjoyable than same room, and my wife and I each were greatly excited about the other moving off into a private space for pleasures. As it turns out, there was absolutely nothing uncomfortable about it and an enormous amount of eroticism was gained. Somehow, it was a very expanding, growth kind of experience, and we look forward to much more, and with excitement.

    It has greatly increased our passion for the lifestyle, so to speak.

  2. Back To Top | #2

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Great to hear. It was good that you were okay with it and found a couple that was good with it.
    There are fish in the water that haven't been caught yet.

  3. Back To Top | #3

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Your experience kind of mirrors our own. We still like same room, but now days would have to say we prefer separate rooms for a lot of the reasons you mention.
    R (He is R, she is P)

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    OP, thats great...be comfortable with same room as well because most couples do prefer same room play. We also prefer separate room. Glad you had fun!
    Shelly
    Merry Christmas and a Ho Ho Ho
    Shelly

  5. Back To Top | #5

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    It's great that the level of trust between the two of you is at the point where you can enjoy spearate room play. Congratulations!

  6. Back To Top | #6

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    We feel sometimes separate room play or solo play is very exciting and fulfilling. Both Mrs. WS and I are huge voyeurs and love to watch each other "do our thang", and most of the time that is the huge turn-on for us. But sometimes we want the experience to be just about us and our partner for the night and not be distracted by other things going on, to be able to totally focus on them and the experience with them.

    Also, as I've mentioned before we sometimes find couples that we don't all have mutual attraction but there is attraction between two of us, and being able to play in separate rooms or solo allows us to be able to be able to be with them instead of counting them out all together.

    Mr. WS
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  7. Back To Top | #7

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Congratulations, couplewanting50!

    We had a similar experience, not long after we started swinging. It just sort of happened organically. The husband of the other couple was "distracted", while my husband and the lady were getting along famously. My partner sort of led me away into a different part of the house, making sure it was okay with me. I have found that separate room play enables me to focus much more and enjoy the experience more.

    Same room is fun, because I love seeing Mr. Fuse with another partner, and it's more lighthearted and social. But we have found we both like separate rooms better most of the time, because the sex is better.
    Through every dead and living thing, Time runs, like a fuse. -- Jackson Browne

  8. Back To Top | #8

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    The couple that led us so smoothly into separate rooms also touched on experiences that they have had where they were with another couple and all four did not have mutual desire. In such cases, the pair that is not going to be sexual very often enjoy conversation in the bar, or some other comfortable setting.

    I think that is imaginable. If, for example, my wife encountered a man she wanted to be with, I wish for her pleasure. It seems to me to be equally conceivable that the woman of the other couple could feel the same way. If we both wished for our partner's pleasures, then we could have a nice time in a nonsexual way.

    I am sure being at a party or hotel based event with a considerable number of people would make it even easier, as you could socialize with a variety of people to enjoy passing the time while your partner plays.

  9. Back To Top | #9

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Quote Originally Posted by WesternSwing
    We feel sometimes separate room play or solo play is very exciting and fulfilling. Both Mrs. WS and I are huge voyeurs and love to watch each other "do our thang", and most of the time that is the huge turn-on for us. But sometimes we want the experience to be just about us and our partner for the night and not be distracted by other things going on, to be able to totally focus on them and the experience with them.

    Also, as I've mentioned before we sometimes find couples that we don't all have mutual attraction but there is attraction between two of us, and being able to play in separate rooms or solo allows us to be able to be able to be with them instead of counting them out all together.

    Mr. WS
    By solo, are you meaning in another place in the same building, or are you meaning, for example, your wife going out with someone, as you remain home, or somewhere else?

    It was interesting to me, before we had this wonderful time, that I had a dream about my wife going out with someone, for the purpose of being sexual, and I found it to be very hot. My cock is an indicator of my true feelings at times, and it indicated to me that I liked that idea.

    I found that remarkable, considering that I was still expressing the idea that I/we wanted same room play.

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Over the years we've become "equal opportunity playmates" (at least where "same room/separate room" venues are concerned ). We like 'em both.

    Still, the first time is better, I think, if playmates retire to separate bedrooms. It gives us an opportunity to get to know our playmates better with the one-on-one communication. In this case, however, we each have to be alert to uneasiness on the part of our play partners. If it seems obvious... a reluctance to talk, distraction, etc... it's better to bring all four back together before jealousy rears its ugly head.

    The downside of separate room play has, for us, been a toning down of the excitement. The wife of one of our playcouples preferred separate rooms and, in deference to her, we did it that way for months. One time, driving home from an encounter, I asked Laura, "How was sex with Mr. Playmate this evening?"

    Her reply: "Just like ol' married folks."

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    —Will Rogers

  11. Back To Top | #11

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Quote Originally Posted by couplewanting50
    By solo, are you meaning in another place in the same building, or are you meaning, for example, your wife going out with someone, as you remain home, or somewhere else?

    It was interesting to me, before we had this wonderful time, that I had a dream about my wife going out with someone, for the purpose of being sexual, and I found it to be very hot. My cock is an indicator of my true feelings at times, and it indicated to me that I liked that idea.

    I found that remarkable, considering that I was still expressing the idea that I/we wanted same room play.

    I think what WS is talking about is being able to play solo at an event. Say your and the husband of another couple are getting on like a house on fire, but you and the other woman are not. If everyone is agreeable, then your wife and the other man play. That way you aren't 'taking one for the team' or denying one partner what might be a really hot experience. And that leaves you and the other wife to either socialize or move on to find other playmates. I don't think it means sending your wife out to meet up with someone while you are waiting at home for her to come back from a romp.

    At least I think that's what was meant...that' just how I took it.

    Maria

  12. Back To Top | #12

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    As we grew into the lifestyle.... this added mush to our experience also.

    Good for you two!

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Quote Originally Posted by couplewanting50
    By solo, are you meaning in another place in the same building, or are you meaning, for example, your wife going out with someone, as you remain home, or somewhere else?

    It was interesting to me, before we had this wonderful time, that I had a dream about my wife going out with someone, for the purpose of being sexual, and I found it to be very hot. My cock is an indicator of my true feelings at times, and it indicated to me that I liked that idea.

    I found that remarkable, considering that I was still expressing the idea that I/we wanted same room play.
    Sexcupid has it right and you also have it right, to an extent.

    There have been times at parties where Mrs. WS and the husband didn't really have the hots for each other but me and the wife did, or maybe it was a single woman at the party I was interested in and she wasn't, or a couple wanted a threesome with me, etc. Mrs. WS wants me to have a great time if I come across someone I'm interested in even if she is not interested in their spouse.

    And the same goes for her and other men and women and couples. There have been times where she has gone off and played with a guy or guys or other couples while I just mingled at the party.

    Like Sexcupid said, we don't want to deny the other a hot experience just because we don't feel like playing with their spouse or we just don't feel like playing that night. There have been times I've been more than happy to just sit in a hot tub and socialize while Mrs. WS is off having a good time with another or others. And she feels the same about me.

    And Couplewanting50, here is where I say you are right, to an extent. To us "playing solo" doesn't mean playing with a couple in separate rooms, but rather playing with someone or a couple without each other. This can be at a party or simply by ourselves.

    We both have the option of playing solo, meaning away from each other. This isn't a cuckhold situation where just she can play alone though while I'm at home waiting for her.

    For instance, there is a mutual attraction between a single friend of Mrs. WS's and I, and I can play with alone with her whenever I like. Mrs. WS isn't interested in playing with her right now because of the vanilla relationship they had prior to finding out each other was in the lifestyle. To Mrs. WS it's just different when you start a relationship with sex rather than introduce it into a long-time relationship, and I've never known this woman outside the lifestyle.

    I also play solo with a few couples we know well, and sometimes with the wife of the couples alone, too.

    Mrs. WS has the same freedom. She has had boyfriends in the past and at one point we were involved in a kind of poly relationship with one of her boyfriends she developed a real relationship with. We were all friends and hung-out together as a threesome, we had MFM threesomes as well as Mrs. WS was free to visit him solo whenever she liked, too.

    We do have some basic ground rules for playing solo:
    • We ask permission beforehand, not after the fact

    • Each one of us can veto a play partner(s) for the other we aren't comfortable with

    • Time with others doesn't trump time with each other


    Three years ago we never would have played in separate rooms much less solo, it's just our relationship evolving as we've become more comfortable with opening it up to others.

    Mr. WS
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    just one thing i would like to say, ALWAYS TRY NEW THINGS

  15. Back To Top | #15

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    I know sometimes my partner has the uncanny ability to make remarks that distract my playmates. Of course that leads to a 'malfunction' now and then . Separate play would be heaven but in a MFM situation that's really not practical is it??? Need to find another lady to keep him busy!

    I have been talking to a couple who do prefer separate room but we've never been apart. I've been considering inviting this couple and another to set up a scenario where it will have to happen as there's no way six are fitting on the bed. Someone will have to pair off....a practical way to ease into it - and give the one fellow a FMF experience and his playmate a MFM for her if everyone agrees.

  16. Back To Top | #16

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Wild Maine Pussy wrote:

    omeone will have to pair off....a practical way to ease into it - and give the one fellow a FMF experience and his playmate a MFM for her if everyone agrees.

    This is one of the benefits we love about two couples playing together. Think of the combinations! They multiplie with three couples!

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    —Will Rogers

  17. Back To Top | #17

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    we simply dont play until the other one is occupied. At a HP or a club we dont have to play with the same couple, and we prefer to be seperater rooms. But we always play when we both find some one we are intersted in

  18. Back To Top | #18

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    I imagine that I would personally be concerned about my SO developing an emotional bond with someone else outside our relationship if they had private time alone, particularly if the couple was someone we see often or who lived nearby.

    If it was at a resort or far away club or party maybe I'd be more inclined to be okay with it because I'd still feel that I was completely in the loop, because we'd probably never see them again.

    Ultimately, for me it seems like if the action is separated we're severing something in our relationship. We're not really sharing the experience with each other anymore... instead we're building another connection with someone else and we're no longer focused on our own relationship.

    Again, this is just me and I am a newbie. And I see things differently for now!

  19. Back To Top | #19

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Quote Originally Posted by SnowwwWhite View Post
    I imagine that I would personally be concerned about my SO developing an emotional bond with someone else outside our relationship if they had private time alone, particularly if the couple was someone we see often or who lived nearby.

    If it was at a resort or far away club or party maybe I'd be more inclined to be okay with it because I'd still feel that I was completely in the loop, because we'd probably never see them again.

    Ultimately, for me it seems like if the action is separated we're severing something in our relationship. We're not really sharing the experience with each other anymore... instead we're building another connection with someone else and we're no longer focused on our own relationship.

    Again, this is just me and I am a newbie. And I see things differently for now!
    Well said....and I'd say "DITTO" to this! For some it works (seperate room play) but it doesn't work for us.......we are open to new things, but are comfortable to what we have opened ourselves up to RIGHT NOW.....and RIGHT NOW, we are a soft swap couple.....same room.....it's agreed, that for us, to move to seperate rooms, would be a "disconnect" in the MUTUAL experience we are in this for........I'm not in this just for me and she's not in this just for her, we are in this for "US"......I respect those who do seperate room play....nothing wrong with it......just isn't for us.....

    ~ Daddy

  20. Back To Top | #20

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Quote Originally Posted by couplewanting50 View Post
    The couple that led us so smoothly into separate rooms also touched on experiences that they have had where they were with another couple and all four did not have mutual desire. In such cases, the pair that is not going to be sexual very often enjoy conversation in the bar, or some other comfortable setting.

    I think that is imaginable. If, for example, my wife encountered a man she wanted to be with, I wish for her pleasure. It seems to me to be equally conceivable that the woman of the other couple could feel the same way. If we both wished for our partner's pleasures, then we could have a nice time in a nonsexual way.

    I am sure being at a party or hotel based event with a considerable number of people would make it even easier, as you could socialize with a variety of people to enjoy passing the time while your partner plays.
    I'm not knocking anyone's preferences or practices but this is EXACTLY the kind of thing that scares me away from separate room play. As a normal Joe married to a beautiful wife it would be ME that would end up sitting at the bar having a nonsexual time with a woman who is not interested in me. The thought of both of us sitting there looking at our watches and wondering when our spouses are going to get done is not my idea of a fun evening. i would rather leave Mrs No-Interest at the bar and join the other two for an MFM (although I really can't ever picture myself leaving someone sitting alone at the bar. I would rather call it an evening and go home)

    Also since my wife is very picky about her play partners it is quite plausible that she would not be interested in playing with a male half of a couple where the female and I share an interest. I could not in a million years imagine leaving her at the bar with somene she isn't interested just so I could go tear off a piece.

    Again, I'm not knocking anyones preferences but I just don't get it. To me it just seems self-centered to leave ones partner with someone they aren't interested in just so you can go bang someone else.

    I s'pose it would be a little different if you were at a private house party or something where everyone may have a chance at finding at least one person they were interested in so everyone stays entertained but I can't imagine leaving my spouse at a bar nor imagine her leaving me there to entertaine myself.

  21. Back To Top | #21

    Default Re: Moving from same room to separate room play

    Our first experience was separate rooms, and it worked out wonderfully well. It laid to rest forever the uncertainty that some couples might naturally feel about separating. While we do about 50/50 separate or same rooms, the choice depends lot on just how much we want to concentrate on on the new partner vs. how much we want to see each other enjoying the play time.

    As for leaving my wife with someone she doesn't care for so that I can go off to play with some one I am hot for, that is never a problem. I wouldn't go with another woman unless her SO agrees that it is OK, regardless of whether he is going to have a fling with my wife. And then she doesn't stick around and suffer. If she isn't interested in the other guy, she excuses herself and goes off to look for more furtile ground.

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