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Thread: condom use

  1. Back To Top | #1

    Default condom use

    Just a quick question.

    How prevalent is condom use in your area? And do the clubs that you go to provide them, or do you have to bring your own? (This is a moot point as we always bring some with us, just wondering)

    I mean, it's posted in our profile that they are a must. So why does it seem to take so many people by suprise when we have them available to use?

    I mean, we've met up with a few couples now and every time a condom has been put on, erections are lost. One made the comment 'that's the best i've done with a condom in a long time'. Things are going along quite well up to that point. And if we take them off and switch back to oral or manual stimulation, things are back up and running again.

    Maybe it's just the area were in?

    Anyway, TIA for any feedback.


  2. Back To Top | #2

    Default Re: condom use

    I'm actually the same way. I just can NOT function with a condom on. I have only been able to work I think twice. So... it happens. :-(

  3. Back To Top | #3

    Default Re: condom use

    I would say that condom use in our swinger community is the rule, not the exception. There are those that play with or without, but for the most part wearing a condom is a must for anything more then oral sex.

    And we do have in our profile that we insist on safe sex.

    Mr. WS
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Default Re: condom use

    I'm not experienced enough to say what others use, but we use condoms. I'll agree they aren't quite as nice as using nothing, but we feel much more secure with things such as pregnancy, stds, and so forth that we continue to use them. A board member here had a brand that wasn't too bad, I'll try to find the name of it.

    Now that being said I know there are people that say the STD reduction isn't all that it is hyped up to be. The media seems to promote condoms as a safe sex method when in actuality, it just means safer sex. It's simply a reduction of risk.

    Queue post by Goodtimes.

    Mr. Truelove

    Edit: in fact, I'll save Goodtimes some searching/typing. Here is a link that touched on the STD reduction issue: Click here!
    The most fun I can never tell anyone about!

  5. Back To Top | #5

    Default Re: condom use

    The exception, not the rule here, is what we see.

    Depends on the party too tho. Some the host/party rules require them. Others don't and then we see less of them.

    Some clubs provide them, others don't. It varies.

    Evel Knievel died of natural causes. Looks like I will too.

  6. Back To Top | #6

    Default Re: condom use

    Based on all the cock in pussy pictures many people post on the ad site we use, many swingers don't use condoms.

    We state in our profile that we do play with condoms. We've not had any problems with people objecting to us pulling out condoms when the time comes to use them, but we have seen where condoms do pose a challenge for some men who have difficulty staying erect once putting one on.


  7. Back To Top | #7

    Default Re: condom use

    These folks have it all:
    resident martian anthropologist...observing the

  8. Back To Top | #8

    Default Re: condom use

    I always use condoms....even with Spectra, though I'm vasectomy safe.

    If you wear one every time, your little soldier will think, "condom, time to go to work", as opposed to "what the hell is this?"
    resident martian anthropologist...observing the

  9. Back To Top | #9

    Default Re: condom use

    We seldom use condoms and none of our friends use them either. Maybe it's a regional thing or just that we are older and have more problems using them. We know a few people who live on the west coast who require them and say that everyone uses condoms. Maybe New Jersey is more "disease friendly" than other states. Being in the lifestyle involves some degree of risk and we are willing to accept that. Condoms may lower the risk somewhat but don't eliminate it.

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Default Re: condom use

    Maybe it's a regional thing
    For sure, its a regional thing...the pubic region.

    We have friends in New England, no, it's not a regional thing...

    How old are you that this kind of thing no longer matters?
    resident martian anthropologist...observing the

  11. Back To Top | #11

    Default Re: condom use

    Good question.

    In my experience as a single male in the lifestyle (seven years as of this month) I would say that in my play with single women and women in couples (no MM play) in Western PA and Eastern Ohio about 60% have insisted on condoms. The rest don't seem too concerned, which raises a red flag with me.

    I'm squeamish about STDs (although I know that condoms don't prevent the transmission of many of them), so I insist on condoms 100% of the time with women I've never had intercourse with, vanilla or lifestyle. Depending on how I feel about the couple or the individual, I have relaxed that rule for a few women, over time, but not for many either in swinging or vanilla relationships.

    So, it's rare that I go in bare, but it does happen occasionally. A risk? Definitely! But one that is calculated.

    However, there seems to be a large group of couples/singles in this area (OH/PA), in ALL socio-economic groups, that feels comfortable going condomless. Make of that what you will. I guess it might coincide with the reported rise in the number of gay men in the US who forgo condoms and other AIDS prevention since the AIDS plague has experienced a downturn.

    Finally, as far as I know, the Western PA club I go to a couple of times a year does NOT provide condoms, so I always bring some of my own. ALL of the couples I've met bring some, too, by the way. And every house party I've attended in Pennsylvania and Ohio has ALWAYS had many varieties of both latex and poly condoms (in various sizes) available for guests.

    As far as I'm concerned, if a guy hopes to be active in the lifestyle (or even in the vanilla scene) he should be carrying some basic protection and plan to use it.

    You get what you play for.

  12. Back To Top | #12

    Default Re: condom use

    Maybe New Jersey is more "disease friendly" than other states.
    Okay. I've been to New Jersey, and I think I see your point. The sooner the better, so-to-speak....
    resident martian anthropologist...observing the

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Default Re: condom use

    It's pretty much a rule in our area. We insist on condoms, even though Mr. LFM is V safe, we still have STD worries. There are problems with erections after the condom goes on, but it's been fixable. Just one of the things that goes along with our lifestyle, I guess.
    Dave & Holly

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Default Re: condom use

    Thanks for all the replies!

    It's not that our playmates look at the condom like, 'oh what is this?'...more along the lines of, 'you really want to use that?'

    I know it's no guarantee of STD-free-ness...and am aware that is only reduces the risks inherent with having sex (stds, pregnancy, ect.). It seems like so many people on this board and even on SLS are insistent that condoms/protection be used...but the reality we are experiencing is vastly different and just wanted to get some feedback.

    Thanks again,


  15. Back To Top | #15

    Default Re: condom use

    People surprised by or not wanting to use condoms has never been an issue for us.

    I was thinking perhaps it was your age but you are younger than us so there goes that theory

  16. Back To Top | #16

    Default Re: condom use

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove
    Edit: in fact, I'll save Goodtimes some searching/typing. Here is a link that touched on the STD reduction issue: Click here!
    Thanks for having my back Mr. Truelove.

    Based on our frequent visits to the local and out of town clubs and the amount of people we know personally who are swingers, I would say that about 20% of the swingers we know refuse to play if condoms are required, around 50% will use condoms if requested, about 20% use condoms most of the time but will go without if they are comfortable doing so with certain couples, and about 10% require condoms with no exceptions.

    What is more interesting to me though is that when asked, well over 50% will say they require condoms, which leads me to believe that the only people who would know the percentages I mentioned above are people who prefer not to use condoms and are willing to admit it. Those that require condoms would have the impression, based on the people they asked, that most people use condoms when swinging, because in our experience, most swingers feel it is not politically correct to openly admit that they prefer not to use condoms.

    While I realize we should all be totally honest with each other, we should also be realistic and realize that not everyone is totally forthcoming, especially if they would really like to get in your pants. So it is safest to assume, when sizing them up for risk, that all of your potential play partners play without using condoms all of the time or at least occasionally.

    I don't really think it is a regional thing either. As some have noted here, this difference between what people say and what they actually do in regards to the condom issue is one of the things that surprised me when we started swinging, and is what led me to do a lot of research on the subject, more than most seem to do anyway, but I still don't consider myself an expert. Living in a popular tourist town though, we meet people from all over on a regular basis, and my percentages above seem to hold up as being pretty universal no matter where the people come from.
    R (He is R, she is P)

  17. Back To Top | #17
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    Default Young couple need advice

    We are a young couple, mid of twenty and intermediated learners in the sls. We prefer to play with older couples because their experince is a guaranty fur fun. The two of us have a problem. No orgasm if we play with condoms. Please be so kind and let us know what to do!

  18. Back To Top | #18
    Swingers Board Guide SW_PA_Couple's Avatar
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    Default Re: condom use

    Quote Originally Posted by LikeMinds321
    Based on all the cock in pussy pictures many people post on the ad site we use, many swingers don't use condoms.
    Your concusion is correct. Many swinging couples use no condoms. I would take care about basing this conclusion upon what you see in those pictures. Very many of them are actually copied and pasted from porn sites and have nothing whatsoever to do with the person (note that I use the signular form of the noun) who posted the advertisment.
    Yinz can relax; it's jus sex n'at.

  19. Back To Top | #19

    Default Re: condom use

    When you get older it can be a little harder to keep a condom on. What good is a condom if it's left behind. As far as poly goes as soon as manufactures make one large enough to get on I'll use them as Ms. D is allergic to latex.

  20. Back To Top | #20

    Default Re: condom use


    Very informative post

    I know people say what you want to

    It's not like I'm a condom nazi ('put it on or no puss for you!' ), and that rule has a possibility to be relaxed...but only if there are a few couples and we are all only playing with each other. But that is too much of an ideal, so on with the condoms we go.

    We do keep the ultra thins on hand (as well as the poly), so at the very least it does't feel like they are wearing a medical grade latex glove on his dick...but I know there is still a loss of sensation all the way around...

    Anyway, I do appreciate all the replies!


  21. Back To Top | #21

    Default Re: condom use

    Hello everyone

    I thought I might add a little to this topic. It was previously mentioned that a spouse has a sensitivity to latex. This is entirely common for we ladies. Many of us are prone to yeast infections that condom use causes. While personally I don't suffer from this, my gf does.

    In our lifestyle, a certain amount of risk is present. You can glove it, cover it in jelly, and pull it out...risk is still present. I have found that with some of the couples we have fun with, the Mr side isn't comfortable (mr wiggly loses his steam) with condoms. When this has happened, we slow things down and get to know them more before any more play happens. It was a bit odd to stop mid-play, but my life is absolutely worth an awkward moment or two. If we are comfortable at a later date, we resume play. Instead of using condoms, I use a jelly (after any and all oral play is done) to stop little swimmers and possible STD's in their tracks. The gentleman also utilizes withdrawl method. Sure it can change the mood for about 2 minutes to stop and apply, but like Loreal says, I'm worth it. If using a gel containing Nonoxyl 9, there isn't much that will get past that.

    Okay, I'm done adding my 2 cents worth. I just thought I might add another method that works quite effectively and without the use of a condom.


  22. Back To Top | #22

    Default Re: condom use

    Quote Originally Posted by LikeMinds321
    Based on all the cock in pussy pictures many people post on the ad site we use, many swingers don't use condoms.
    Maybe thats why we haven't had an issue with people demanding 'no condoms'.

    If someone has a picture like that in their profile, we were automatically not interested in that couple.

  23. Back To Top | #23

    Default Re: condom use

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicup
    Maybe thats why we haven't had an issue with people demanding 'no condoms'.

    If someone has a picture like that in their profile, we were automatically not interested in that couple.
    Perfect logic!
    "Playing Doubles: Memoir of a Swinging Wife", by Carolyn Marconi.

  24. Back To Top | #24

    Default Re: condom use

    As others have stated, it's all about 'risk management', and it's up to each couple to decide what an acceptable level of risk is. Given our 'druthers', we prefer our sex bareback. But we NEVER try to persuade others to our way of thinking. We are a 50-plus couple, married forever, and we are not into big numbers, preferring a friends-first approach to the lifestyle. We are selective; we get to know people before we get naked with them, and ultimately if we're not comfortable with being intimate with them bareback, we're not comfortable being intimate, period. This does limit our choices. We don't do the on-premise club scene, or house parties (except where we already know the participants). We don't do singles. We take a pass on bi-male couples, and we wouldn't mix it up with the couples Chicup is talking about either. All of the above are legitimate facets/members of the swing community; they just don't fit our risk profile. Are we representative swingers in general, or any sub-group? I dunno. There are so many variables. But within the white, mid-income, 45-and-up crowd, we are getting the perfect amount of action: more than I can handle, almost as much as Happymama would like. And the vast majority of it is latex-free.

  25. Back To Top | #25

    Default Re: condom use

    Ed here-- All of our Play is with condoms. Now, initially it sometimes could be an issue with an erection. I took it upon myself to have my body adapt to using a condom. So, for about a month, anytime Susan and I had sex, even if it was just the two of us, I wore a condom. I even would masturbate with one on. Sure enough, my body adapted and it never was a concern again.

    Sex is very much in the mind. Since my mind knows I can get hard with a condom, it's no longer a concern.

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