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  1. Back To Top | #51

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    It took me a few minutes to bring my jaw off my desk....wow.

    I am going to point out something that is strickly my own opinon and not meant to be judgemental. But if I were your wife and found out that you were having these discussions without my knowledge with the neighbour, I would be just as hurt, angry and upset as if you had actually cheated on me.

    Swinging is based on trust, communication and love. If you don't have those things it just isn't going to work. If she is saying no because she is feeling insecure, you aren't doing anything to alay her fears and make her feel confident that you love her and only her, you are doing quite the opposite.

    I think the best advice for you right now is to put yourself in your wife's shoes and try to understand where she is coming from, and then you maybe you may have a chance at getting her to talk about it. Swinging is not for everyone and maybe it's not for her (and that doesn't make her a bad person either) , I guess you have to really decide which is more important,swinging or your marriage.

    Best of luck
    "Well! Evil to some is always good to others." - Jane Austen

  2. Back To Top | #52
    Swingers Board Addict sensuality's Avatar
    Status
    happily, ecstatically married

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Okay guys and gals...I think we can ALL agree on this selfish $##*&%#'s motivations
    And, please, Mr. -shady"slut"- DO NOT insult Eminem and any of his fans by using his name in any more of your posts...
    You are a heartless, cruel man!And, I use the term "MAN" questionably!
    To truly see beauty, close your eyes...and see with your heart....mois

  3. Back To Top | #53
    Chimpin' Ain't Easy Spoomonkey's Avatar
    Status
    Married Monkeys - will you be our vine?
    SLS Handle
    Spoomonkey

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    I am leaning towards "troll" here...

    Or - at the very least someone who really wanted to do things, but isn't mature enough to let nature take it's course. Swinging isn't something you bring up spontaneously - like a trip to the mall. It is something that most couples have to really talk about - and most men have to be very patient about.

    This "she got pissed and I slept on the couch so now I think I am going to cheat" crap is pretty much the same as a three year old pitching a tantrum because he didn't get a sucker at the bank... This response is childish, selfish and disasterous.

    If you are willing to cheat, then no wonder she wasn't willing to swing. She has no reason to trust you - and I am somewhat glad that she doesn't... She'd end up being the sucker, wouldn't she? In a sense, your "discussion" wasn't that at all - it was an ultimatum. She probably just knows you better than you'd like to admit... She smelled snake...

    I think that lots of wives worry at first that husbands want to swing as a form of "sanctioned" cheating... In your wife's case, she was right...

    Swinging is for big boys.

    Now wipe your nose and grow up...

    Spoomonkey
    "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

  4. Back To Top | #54
    Swingers Board Addict sensuality's Avatar
    Status
    happily, ecstatically married

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Dito Dito
    To truly see beauty, close your eyes...and see with your heart....mois

  5. Back To Top | #55

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    You guys have got to be fucking kidding me. Why so much anger? First, This is no bullshit. Everything I have witten is true. Second, I told my wife I wanted to fuck every woman I know. Whats wrong with that? I'm being honest. I can bet that at least half you haters........nevermind. Third, someone please explain to me just what the fuck swinging is and why everyone is looking down their nose at me now. The way I see it is that swinging is about fucking someone you are not married to (a differant flavor). It's just sex. I think my wife is right-we (you and me) are all cheaters. Don't try to make me feel bad with all this childish name calling. Fourth, I see questions and stories about threesomes on this site all the time. Are they any different than me?
    I am glad you haters showed me the real you. To everyone who has been sincere and honest - I thank you.
    To everyone who hates me - "I dont give a fuck if you dont like my shit, cause I was high when I wrote this so suck my dick" - EMINEM
    Shady (IMSTILLONHARD)

  6. Back To Top | #56
    Chimpin' Ain't Easy Spoomonkey's Avatar
    Status
    Married Monkeys - will you be our vine?
    SLS Handle
    Spoomonkey

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Quote Originally Posted by shadyvirgin
    Third, someone please explain to me just what the fuck swinging is and why everyone is looking down their nose at me now.
    Swinging is the consensual and agreed upon choice of a couple to engage in sexual adventure with others.

    You are talking about having sex behind your wife's back because she rebuffed your attempt to entice her into the lifestyle. AND further, you are already betraying the friend with whom you first discussed this by talking behind his back to his wife.

    The big difference is this - my wife and I BOTH enjoy swinging. And if one of us did not, then neither of us would be involved. It's just that simple. Swinging can occur in the swirling muck of any kind of dysfuntion - but you will find that most of the happy, stable, mature swinging couples do what they do from the foundation of a strong and trusting relationship.

    If you choose to cheat on your wife, you can call it swinging... Heck - you can even call it cricket, but it doesn't change what it is. The majority of the couples on this board fit perfectly into the definition that I have given and the idea of one spouse hurting another in the pursuit of their juvenile libido just never sits well.

    Do a term search of the boards on the word cheater. You'd be surprised how consistent an opinion this is.

    Spoomonkey

    PS - sorry I have no Eminem to quote... But I'll work on that...
    "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

  7. Back To Top | #57
    Swingers Board Addict sensuality's Avatar
    Status
    happily, ecstatically married

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Quote Originally Posted by Spoomonkey
    If you choose to cheat on your wife, you can call it swinging... Heck - you can even call it cricket, but it doesn't change what it is. The majority of the couples on this board fit perfectly into the definition that I have given and the idea of one spouse hurting another in the pursuit of their juvenile libido just never sits well.



    P.S - sorry I have no Eminem to quote... But I'll work on that...
    I could not have said the first part better!
    I have lots of Eminem to quote, but I'm not willing to waste his expertise on this &@*&!@# !
    To truly see beauty, close your eyes...and see with your heart....mois

  8. Back To Top | #58

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Damn Spoomonkey, you sound like you were reading the definition of the word swinger straight from Websters. So it's okay to have sex with other people as long as you have permission? I have not cheated on my wife yet so please don't treat me like I have. To be totally honest I probably won't. If you read my first post you will remember that I have not had sex with anyone except my wife. Bottom line - I want to have carnal knowledge with another woman. Be honest, is that so fucking hard to grasp? Am I really that fucking different? I think not.
    That Sensuality is some peice of work isn't she. I wonder what her husband would have to say about all of this. I will not quote Eminem this time as it pisses Sensuality off something fierce. I probably caused her to slap her husband three times she's so angry. He's probably sitting there wondering what he did to cause her to make his face burn. Sorry Mr. Sensuality.
    Shady

  9. Back To Top | #59

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Shady (wow you really picked a good name for yourself). I think we've all taken enough of our time trying to explain to you exactly what swinging is and is not. It's quite obvious that you don't get it and that you would probably fair much better on another site dedicated to the things that you want to do. You came here and posted a question to which you were given honest and sincere advice from the beginning.

    You knew exactly what this group was about and you knew exactly what type of response you would get when you returned with your suggestion to cheat on your wife. Personally, I feel like you were probably just playing us from the start and are nothing but a little troll.

    Noone attacked you but since you didn't like the responses you got you turned around attacked others. That type of response is not welcome here and you have already been warned regarding your language towards other users. If it continues you will not be asked to leave, you will be shown the door.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  10. Back To Top | #60

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Thanks Julie,

    Shady's like a math problem on an I. Q. Test that you just can't figure out,
    but you know you know the answer to. ::::::Surrender::::::

    None of us can say that you don't know which way the wind's blowin'.

    Male D
    "Just nod if you can hear me..."

    David Gilmour

  11. Back To Top | #61
    Chimpin' Ain't Easy Spoomonkey's Avatar
    Status
    Married Monkeys - will you be our vine?
    SLS Handle
    Spoomonkey

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Quote Originally Posted by shadyvirgin
    Damn Spoomonkey, you sound like you were reading the definition of the word swinger straight from Websters.
    I doubt you'll find that definition in Websters, but I appreciate the compliment

    Quote Originally Posted by shadyvirgin
    So it's okay to have sex with other people as long as you have permission?
    Yes - that is the gist of what I was saying... Simplified, somewhat, but accurate.

    Quote Originally Posted by shadyvirgin
    Bottom line - I want to have carnal knowledge with another woman. Be honest, is that so fucking hard to grasp? Am I really that fucking different?
    You are different in the way that you have chosen to go about it. VERY different. It has been said a hundred times around here, but it bears repeating - cheaters aren't swingers; swingers aren't cheaters.

    You received some great advice in the beginning - and you found out pretty concretely that your wife wasn't interested. Most of the men on this board would have dropped it with that. Sure - they might have continued to talk about the idea here and there - but cheating would not have been an interest or an option.

    Even if you are a troll, these types of threads are good for the lifestyle. They allow real couples that are in the lifestyle to voice the one constant - swinging is something that a couple does together. If more husbands were honorable in their intent, more wives would likely be comfortable with the concept.

    Spoomonkey
    "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

  12. Back To Top | #62

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    As usual, Spoo is spot on right!

    A short case study:

    When I (male half) first thought about swinging around 5 years ago we talked about it. Red wasn't happy with the idea (mainly down to the expected problem of mentally separating love and sex) so we dropped it. The matter came up several times over the next 4 years or so, sometimes discussions begun by me and sometimes by Red. Only early this year did she decide she was ready (she had got her head around the ideas) and she wondered if I was still interested. I was and so off we went a-hunting.

    Cheating, playing behind Red's back or anything remotely similar didn't come into it. Nobody can (or should try to) force anybody into swinging and emotional blackmail (of the let's do it or I'll do it alone variety) doesn't come into it either. Neither would be indicative of a relationship sound enough to even contemplate swinging.

    Okay. That's my two penn'orth.

    CB
    Take all things in moderation...including moderation

  13. Back To Top | #63

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    I just wanted to throw in a woman's persepective to what the men have said so adeptly. It works both ways, I was the one who brought the idea of swinging up with my husband, and I think I must have repeated around 900 or so times...if this isn't comfortable for you we don't have to do it....don't just do this because you think it would make me happy. There was a lot of talking and sharing that went on before we agreed we were okay. Boundaries, rules, what we will and will not do...it was like hammering out a contract, but it was necessary to make everyone comfortable and happy.
    "Well! Evil to some is always good to others." - Jane Austen

  14. Back To Top | #64
    Swingers Board Addict sensuality's Avatar
    Status
    happily, ecstatically married

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Quote Originally Posted by shadyvirgin
    That Sensuality is some peice of work isn't she. I wonder what her husband would have to say about all of this. I will not quote Eminem this time as it pisses Sensuality off something fierce. I probably caused her to slap her husband three times she's so angry. He's probably sitting there wondering what he did to cause her to make his face burn. Sorry Mr. Sensuality.
    Shady


    Actually,mr.sensuality knows all about you. And, he said exactly the same thing Julie said to you, you didn't like what everyone was saying to you and you got pissed off.And, angry isn't the word I feel for you, Mister.Disappointment, maybe And, disbelief. Yeah, it's okay to have a "carnal" need,but you want everyone to give you permission to stab your wife in the back.Not cool at all.
    As for slapping my husband, if he acted like you...absolutely .But, since he doesn't, it's not even an issue .I'd rather kiss him instead
    To truly see beauty, close your eyes...and see with your heart....mois

  15. Back To Top | #65
    Swingers Board Addict sensuality's Avatar
    Status
    happily, ecstatically married

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    [QUOTE=shadyvirgin]
    That Sensuality is some peice of work isn't she.


    And, thanks for the compliment, you have NO idea
    To truly see beauty, close your eyes...and see with your heart....mois

  16. Back To Top | #66

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Well this is some thread I must say, I have avoided it until now and all I can say is , What the fudge.

    But I have one point to bring in. How was the wife approched was it "hey honey, let's have sex with our firends, it'll be fun and I enjoy it, I want her so bad." I mean wording can make a big difference in what is communicated. I mean think about that wording vs this "honey, I have a fantasy I want to make reality. I want to share it with you." Major difference but same thing (kind of).

    But a quote made me think there is more to this (not exact since I am too far into the thread to go back and don't want to lose my post thus far). But it was something like he feels insecure cause she might find a bigger dick and leave as well. This was a red flag cause I think Shady my not have been drawing an analogy here, but telling the truth.

    Anyway just a couple of things I noticed.

    On the cheaters are swingers thing. I have to say that cheaters sneak around on each other and lie all the time. Swingers are open about what they do and who with, to the point of being in the same room in many cases.

  17. Back To Top | #67

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Okay, who sicked Julie on me? I have seen the word "troll" several times and please beleive me I am for real. Just one of 'em old redneck boys that didn't get any pussy in high school.
    Sensuality, I think I love you. We go back a long way. Don't be angry or disappointed with me. I am not a cheater. I told my wife that I love her and will never cheat on her and I would never bring the swing thing up again. I wanted her to know I was serious about it though, so if she wanted to talk about it in the future.... One can only hope.
    I came here and have been as honest as I could possibly be. Yeah, I guess I was hoping to hear someone say "yeah man,I was in the same boat you were in so I just cheated on her until she came around". No one said that. I am not a bad guy so don't hate me.
    I was going to contact Julie and ask her to "show me the door" like she said she would. Meaning I wanted my whole existance erased from this site. But after thinking about it all day I decided to write this instead. Besides, It would make for great entertainment.
    All bullshit aside, I and everyone (if any) who had the same feelings have some great advice to take or leave. Thank you all for your thoughts and time.
    Good Times - I still feel bad about the FU.
    Spoomonkey - I enjoyed reading what you had to say.
    Western swing, Ohio Couple, Alura, ElusiveBiFem, Julie, CBnRed, evilMJ. I wish I could remember more of your names. I will keep visiting and ckecking this post to see how many hits it gets and to look at any possible responses. Like I said before, it's probably been quite a while since you all have seen anything like me.
    Thanks for everything, Shady

  18. Back To Top | #68

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Figures that I'd get lost in the shuffle.

    Oh well...

    Male D
    "Just nod if you can hear me..."

    David Gilmour

  19. Back To Top | #69
    Swingers Board Addict sensuality's Avatar
    Status
    happily, ecstatically married

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    I think you may have a chance at redemption here .I loath cheaters and I am hopeful you really mean what you said to your wife.True, real love is hard to find and if you have that with your wife no amount of snatch is worth losing what you have with her.If it is meant for you guys to become swingers, it will happen.Glad to see you found some maturity throughout this whole mess!
    To truly see beauty, close your eyes...and see with your heart....mois

  20. Back To Top | #70
    Chimpin' Ain't Easy Spoomonkey's Avatar
    Status
    Married Monkeys - will you be our vine?
    SLS Handle
    Spoomonkey

    Default Re: The seven year itch

    Quote Originally Posted by shadyvirgin
    I am not a cheater. I told my wife that I love her and will never cheat on her and I would never bring the swing thing up again. I wanted her to know I was serious about it though, so if she wanted to talk about it in the future.... One can only hope.
    This is admirable.

    I hope it works out for you.

    Spoomonkey
    "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

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