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I'm 34, male, and still a virgin. Swingers, tell me what to do.

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Before you tell me what to do about my situation hear it out.

 

I am a dude.

I am 34 years old.

I am still a virgin.

 

Yes, I know, I am a loser, go ahead, point fingers, laugh.

 

I have been on very few dates, all with people that I have nothing in common with and have no business being around. I kissed a girl for the first time when I was 26 years old and the dates I did go to were always initiated by women. I tried asking out girls I liked, but my game is shit. No one has ever said yes. No one.

 

I feel like less of a man because of this. I am no Fabio either lookwise or bodywise, but I am not ugly either. I am sick of mastering "the game" to pick up women, because I've tried many approached throughout my teens, twenties and thirties. I am simply done with this shit.

 

But I am also ready to toss my V-card for good. I just feel like a boy who never grew up because of it.

 

Please do not get upset if these kinds of questions are unwelcome. I seriously do not know ANYTHING about sex and how to get it, so the swingers' board was my first guess. I don't mean to piss in anyone's Cheerios. It's the last thing on my mind. And I am not a troll, either.

 

I am humbly asking you, experts (compared to me anyway), what is a 34 year old virgin to do? This is not a scream of desperation, though I'm sure that is exactly what this comes off as. All I want to do is simply get laid. No pick up lines, no wining and dining, no awkward pauses and all that other teenage bullshit that I've seen way too much and gets absolutely nowhere. May be a little small talk, but when it's over I just put on my shit, wave good bye and leave.

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1. There is little corelation between picking up women in the vanilla world and making connections as a couple.

 

2. It is a lot more difficult to make connection as a single male swinger , than in "regular" dating/ pick up scene. Yes it happens, but there is large numerical imbalance between couples looking for an extra guy, and the available single guys. If you are specifically wanting the dynamic of three ( or more) people, then that's a goal, but for just any old piece at all, you're better off in Vanilla world.

 

3. Sometimes an oppertunity blindsides you when you're not expecting it.

 

4. You can work with Psycologist / councilor/ sex therapist / etc to assist you with communication and confidence issues.

 

5. You could engage the services of a Professional ( ie medium to upper scale Call Girl ). It could help you get past the anxieties of the first time, to be more relaxed and confident. Or you could prefer to stick with pro a cpl times a year.

 

 

Some of this you probably think is not for you initially. Some of this will be controversial with the Board members. But these cover the complete spectrum of options.

 

For my $0.02 , you have put enough effort into what you're already trying that minor fine tuning probably won't make a big difference. I'd recomend looking into the headshrinker route. While this is a signifigent situation to you , Social Anxiety ( and/or related terms) is a common thing for them to deal with , and they have a number of aproaches with good results.

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"Ex-pert": "X" is an unknown quantity; "spurt" is a drip under pressure. You've come to the right place.

 

My guess is that you need to develop your skills in getting along with people, not just women. First, I'd suggest that you read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It's an old book so you may have to do some searching.

 

After reading that, use what you've learned to relate to women as people, not just something you'd like to insert your penis into. If all you want is to "get laid," you'll not get far with the fairer sex, in my opinion.

 

Alura

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All I want to do is simply get laid. No pick up lines, no wining and dining, no awkward pauses and all that other teenage bullshit that I've seen way too much and gets absolutely nowhere. May be a little small talk, but when it's over I just put on my shit, wave good bye and leave.

 

Hire a pro? That's kind of their job, to come over, fuck you, maybe have a bit of small talk and then leave.

 

Try asking your friends what you might be able to tweak about yourself. They're with you in person. They'll know if its something as trivial as "you don't bathe before dates" or if its something major "dude you're coming off as a creeper." Please don't take any of this personally, I've never met you, I don't know you from johnny.

 

I wouldn't recommend the swinging scene as "the place to get laid." I know (personally) I'd would not pick a virgin as a partner because I want someone who knows the deal. It's a lot of pressure on guys especially to preform in the context of swinging/group sex/whatever. I mean, feel free to try but don't expect ladies to be throwing themselves at you. Too many guys (sexual status unrelated) think swinging is a variable pool of pussy, this is not true.

 

Have you tried the regular dating websites? They are really good for guys that might not have as much "game" to get to know people they might be interested in (just PLEASE read profiles before messaging people). Okcupid is alternate relationship friendly, moreso than other sites I've been on.

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Im with MsGoneWild, I wouldnt suggest the swinging community as the place for you to get started. It is a nice place to read and discuss matters, but swinger parties probably aren't your best place at this time.

 

Single males are already rather common, and many of them have learned to be a bit more aggressive in order to stand out in the crowd. If you are passive and unsure of yourself to this degree, being in this environment wont likely help matters. I would call it setting yourself up to fail.

 

Go with some friends for suggestions, or get some professional training and/or help.

 

A great place for people who dont have "game" to meet are forums and/or clubs. Find a forum or a club of people with similar hobby interests to you and get involved. For example, If you like dogs, go become an active member of local dog clubs or online dog forums. You would be shocked at how many people have gotten into relationships from online forums. I personally know of several people who ended up getting married after meeting online in such a manner.

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You know.... it wasnt a bad idea to post here.

 

 

I would find it kind of hot to have my hubby teach someone to satisfy me. :)

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I would find it kind of hot to have my hubby teach someone to satisfy me. :)

 

While I don't think I can recommend the OP pursue the swinging community as an avenue to end his virginity, I will say that I imagine that you aren't the only female that would be intrigued by the possibility of sex with a virgin.

 

I asked Mrs two4you and she said it isn't an "I've gotta do that" type thing, but in theory she does think it would be a fun thing to do, and is not a turn-off in and of itself.

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Get a hooker.

 

I didn't gather anything in your post to lead me to believe that you are really interested in swinging as an avenue to get women or get laid (or lose your v-card). What I did gather is that you think that swingers are probably the most experienced people when it comes to sex. Sadly, that's not really true, but anyway.

 

If you really want to lose your virginity that bad, get a hooker and get it over with. Find a good escort service and ask for a woman who is willing to teach. If you can find one woman who is willing to teach you how to be around women, you'll learn a lot.

 

That said, you mentioned the bad dates and nothing in common. That's a part of life. Look for women who share your interests. Into comics? Go to Comicon - yes there are lots of women there. From what I hear the parties at those conventions rival anything any of us swingers do.

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The female half here has a great fantasy of sucking off a 30+ virgin. Just a quick “stop, drop and suck” scenario. Sounds pretty fun.

 

Sorry but I could not resist.

:lol:

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Sorry I missed this the first time, but Julie, as an old school gamer (military days) I do know exactly what you are talking about. And now, in my kids generation, x-box live has opened doors that also rival places like SLS. Pretty funny.

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...... You could engage the services of a Professional ( ie medium to upper scale Call Girl ). It could help you get past the anxieties of the first time, to be more relaxed and confident. Or you could prefer to stick with pro a cpl times a year.

Hire a pro? That's kind of their job, to come over, fuck you, maybe have a bit of small talk and then leave.

How?

Seriously, I have no idea how to do this without causing myself a horrible embarrassment and possible incarceration for soliciting prostitution.

 

And I get the whole "pick up a girl at the bar" game. I guess if I read around and practice I can sharpen my social skills, but I don't know "the finer details". Like, how long should we shoot the shit? How do I let her know that it's time to stop talking and... you know...move on the "next stage"? Where do we go? I don't want them to see my place and even if it were alright, it's no place to sleep with someone, I only have one bed and it's for one person, we won't fit.

 

I probably sound super retarded and pathetic. It's because I am. :sad: So, any input is appreciated.

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Dude.......sounds like your lacking in basic human communication skills or are just one very shy guy. By the sound of your posts, you need to seriously get off the schnide and lose your virginity in order to start enjoying your life. I'd go pro as others have suggested. Although I've never knowingly sampled "professional" pussy, it sure as hell ain't hard to find. All the big cities have the free newspaper magazines that have ads in the back for escorts. Call one up and you're on your way. And treat yourself to a nice hotel room for the experience......after all, you only lose it once :cool:

 

Or find a casino in your area. Wherever there are casinos, there are ladies for hire. Get a room and go scouting for one. I bet even you could spot one. My college aged daughter pointed one out when we were bar hopping thru a casino before a Red Wing game :lol:

 

Just man up, take control of your life and go do it.

 

Brett

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I don't know a lot about swinging, but I did do the escort scene for quite a while. I did it not because I was desparate, just bored with my relationship. I eventually got caught, but it made my relationship with my wife much better because we both decided to put some real effort into it.

 

All that said, You need to bereak the cycle of desparation that's eating you alive. Google Dallas Escorts (or Houston or wherever) and you'll find pages and pages of sites to peruse. Hell, the shopping and reading of reviews is more fun that the experience itself!

 

You said you were nervous about getting busted. That's where your homework comes into play. Start with well-reviewed gals where you know you're not getting set up by the cops. Look for girls that are your type, do what you want to do, and are in your price range. Go to message forums (like this one) with other "hobbyists" and seek out their advice.

 

Try these links for starters:

 

http://theotherboard.com/

http://www.theeroticreview.com/

 

Look for a full hour visit, not just "up to an hour" for your best value. You've been holding it inside so long, you better look for MSOG, also. (Multiple Shots on Goal)

 

After you know you can get it anytime you want, albeit for a price, you'll be scoring with civilians left and right.

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      "Oh yes! I can feel you tightening them, it hurts so nice!" Becky moaned. Jane replied, "Now, when we want to make them feel even better, we just have to pull up or down on the silver beads that connect them, like this." "Ohhhhhhh! That feels so good!" said Becky. Now Bill could not control himself any longer as he said, "Let me give that a little tug", as he took the beads connecting Becky’s luscious tits and held them up high forcing Becky to lift her ass off the bed. Bill continued to pull up on the beads until she was now standing up on her toes moaning in exquisite pleasure and pain. As Bill held her tits high, Jane fell to her knees between Becky’s legs and sucked her cunt and quickly fingered it as fast as she could. Before Becky could reach her relief, Jane and Bill knowingly stopped their sex play to let Becky simmer on the edge of orgasm. Jane then said, "Now take off the rest of your clothes and put this nice robe on and we’re off for a nice ride in a real stretch limo."
       
      Bill opened the passenger door to the limo and Jane and Becky climbed in to meet two beautiful maidens one blond and the other a red head sitting in the spacious seats facing both of them. Both women were wearing only their nipple jewelry having shaved pussys, just like Jane. "Now it’s your turn Becky! Time to lose that pussy fur", as the two nymphs proceeded to shave her pussy with great care. Becky loved all the attention her cunny was getting and as the two naked maidens continued to shave her, she almost came close to another orgasm. The limo soon arrived at the club and they all exited from the covered garage directly into the large reception hall.
      Becky was lead to a large altar type structure up on the center of the stage and her robe was removed. She was then asked to walk naked up on stage for everyone's delight. Becky couldn’t believe she was doing this in front of so many people. She was soon joined by her two prior companions from the limo who proceeded to tie her to the top of the altar spread eagle, her arms and legs spread wide apart showing all her feminine charms.
       
      On stage, seated to the rear near a large red drapery, were a half dozen young beauties sitting on chairs watching the action and squirming in their seats with their fingers down their pants. Squeezing their legs together to pleasure themselves while lost in the exquisite sexual moment. The naked escorts, still only wearing their nipple jewelry, began escorting one lovely at a time from her seat up to the spread-eagled darling center stage. Then each beauty had her clothes ripped from body displaying her naked youthfulness for all to admire. Their sexy captors systematically forced each of their faces into the steaming and squirming hot pussy of the helpless virgin. Each pulled their face away covered in Becky’s joy juice, as the crowd roared its approval.
       
      Soon the audience proceeded to go up on stage to put their hands all over Becky’s beautiful body. Some men, their pricks in hand, jerked off, while others just looked on. Some of the women caressed her tits and pulled her nipple necklace causing both pain and pleasure to course through Becky’s prostrate body. Some more of the women as well as the men tongued her pussy bringing her exquisite pleasure, but no one was allowed to bring her to orgasm just yet, as that was left for the main event. That conclusive sex act that would change Becky from virgin forever!!! Then all in the audience began yelling, "Fuck her!" "Fuck her!" "Fuck her!" Over and over again, until a god like very tall male with an huge cock jumped up on stage and began pumping her pussy at a slow rhythmic pace. The crowd began chant "Fuck her!" and clap in rhythm to his deep penetrations. As the young man’s fucking pace sped up so did the crowds clapping and screaming until Becky and the young stud both climaxed dramatically together. The crowd then went wild tearing off each others clothes and fucking with wild abandon!
       
      THE END
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