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blondie77

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  • Content Count

    148
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Community Reputation

17 Good

About blondie77

  • Rank
    pureblonde
  • Birthday 09/07/1977

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Northern MN
  • Interests
    She loves reading, writing, dancing, and trying new things. He likes Nascar, hunting, fishing, etc. Both enjoy meeting new people and exploring fantasies.
  • Occupation
    receptionist
  • Swinging Experience
    over 2 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    pureblonde
  1. Our first time playing was definately not the best. Hubby and I thought we had discussed everything and covered every possible thing we could, but nothing can prepare you for the first time you see your S.O. with someone else. For our first time it was with just one woman and I definately felt jealous. There wasn't any sex involved that first time, but some very serious soft play. I had such mixed emotions afterwards, mainly because I was the one who initially brought up swinging and then I was the one who had second thoughts about the whole thing. I didn't really get jealous about anything sexual they did except the kissing. I don't know why that bothered me...but it really did. Just seeing my husband kissing another woman about stopped my heart...but nothing else he did with her had that same effect on me. I think it was mainly shock, at first; perhaps I thought I'd bitten off a little more than I could chew. One positive thing came out of that situation though: Hubby and I had the most heartfelt talk afterwards and I have never felt closer to him than at that moment. It really brought us closer, gave us new things to talk about, and an opportunity to reassure each other. I am happy to say that now him kissing another woman totally turns me on...but really I don't think you can know how you'll feel or even really prepare for it until it happens. Just remember that anytime either one of you feels uncomfortable you can stop. Communication is the key and I really can't stress that enough. Good luck!
  2. Merric, Watching my husband with another man is a fantasy of mine for many reasons, and I guess the top reason is I've never seen it before. Not with my husband nor any other man. It's the unknown I guess. It's something that's a little "naughty" maybe, or perhaps it's just because I know he'll never do it, so there's that little part in the back of my mind that thinks "but wait! That would be awesome!" A fantasy is something that's safe, it doesn't do anyone any harm and it gives me a little thrill. I've noticed that the idea of two women being together is considered alright, even sexy, but whenever anyone mentions two men, it's almost taboo. I would like to see my husband with another man probably for the same reason my husband (or most men) would like to see two women: it's different, it's not something you see everyday, and it's a little "forbidden" which makes it all the more enticing. Knowing it will never happen doesn't really make the fantasy any less exciting...perhaps it even makes it more exciting because my brain can come up with things that are WAY hotter than anything that's apt to happen to me in real life...haha. Anyways...thanks for being interested in my response. I hope I was able to "enlighten" you a little more. Blondie
  3. I agree with ShellyM...you are doing things the right way. By taking things slow and reassuring your husband you're giving him time to think things through and come to terms with this on his own. I was the one who initially brought this up with my hubby. It started with some sexy talk in the bedroom, led to me talking about some past experienced I'd had before we were married and eventually got him to buy me as a suprise our first porn movie that included lesbian sex and some threesomes. My hubby was very conservative, and still is in some ways.....though he's come A LONG way! He was brought up to believe sex was bad and all sex had to be missionary style, etc. He went to a Baptist High school and that has never left him...though now he's learned sooooo much. Mainly that the things WE do as husband and wife is about love...whether it's just the two of us or a group of us...it's all about our love for one another and the wonderful gift of sex that God gave us and the gift of freedom we can give each other. It took a long time to get to where we are. Honestly, even though I brought it up, I was suprised at the jealousy I felt at first. That has faded over time. Someone else brought up bringing another woman into the mix first....and that's not a bad idea. That's what we did. I am bisexual, so it wasn't an issue for me...and we've only had threesomes with women since we started until this last weekend where we had our first foursome. He's now becoming more open to my having sex with other men. He used to feel as yours does that it meant that it was something he was lacking in. After time, he's come to realize that it isn't that he's lacking but that it's a gift he can give to me. After all this time of having FMF he's starting to see that adding another man into the mix isn't only the fair thing to do, but also something he might enjoy. I hope this isn't too long...but I really feel for your situation. It takes a long time sometimes to get to a place where you are both comfortable...but you'll get there with patience. Whether or not you and your husband ever swing, talking about it, talking about your relationship, communication...that's what's going to make your marriage strong. Take things slow...talk talk talk. And keep having as much sex as you can! Good luck!
  4. Thanks for all the great responses. By reading all these answers and other posts and having hubby look over them too, really makes us learn a lot and we see things from another perspective. There are things here that I would never have thought about. I do feel a bit better about it. The other woman and I have chatted a few times via email, but she never answered any of my queries as to that night, so I'm gonna just chalk it up to "their" problem and leave it at that. I'm still not really sure what went wrong, but I have learned that even though a couple seems all for it and ready to go, that perhaps we just shouldn't jump right into bed until getting to know them better.
  5. socolais mentioned that newbies trying to swing with newbies is more than likely going to result in exactly what happened. Well, perhaps I am a newbie to most of you, and in regards to foursomes, yeah I guess I am. But we do have quite a bit of experience in this lifestyle. We've been pretty active since we started, and while that doesn't mean much, we have learned a lot as a couple, and this certainly isn't our first experience ever. I guess I don't really know what I wanted from asking my original question...but mainly I was just so suprised because all the signs were their in the past, they were so enthusiastic, even the other husband, though he didn't say as much, he certainly was having a good time. I guess I've just never experienced anything like it and because I'm so straight forward, I can't imagine why anyone else would want to avoid talking it out. Thanks for all your help. Anyone else ever been in a similar situation?
  6. Sorry, yes it was a vanilla party. My hubby and I were aquaintances with this other couple, but only see them very occasionally during social gatherings. The woman of the couple always hinted that they like to experiment as a couple, or they liked to "get wild". My hubby and I usually just ignore comments like these because we know so many "vanilla" women who when they've been drinking all think they want to be "swingers" or whatever...but we try to steer clear of that. Suprisingly we get hit on by quite a few couples (mainly the women) all of whom are vanilla and usually all at vanilla parties. We never get involved with situations like that because we assume when they sober up they'll not be too happy about it. This situation was kind of like that...but this other woman has spoken about swinging before and she's hinted to us many times that she's done "things" of which she doesn't say nor do we ask. We had a feeling they might be swingers, or at least they must have talked about it before. In any case, once at the after party, she wasn't shy in the least. She did say that she's been with women before and that they had a threesome once. We assumed that they were fine. We did talk about it a bit. Maybe I made it sound like we all just jumped into bed, but while we were all in the jacuzzi we did discuss it. They were so enthusiastic that it was hard to believe they'd act in such a strange way as they did.
  7. "First off, I am above average in size. Regular sized condoms never rolled down far enough for me to be comfortable with. Always, there was about an inch at the base of my penis that was uncovered. I felt that this gap would allow contact that I was trying to protect against and also provide an opportunity for the condom to get pulled off for lack of a better term." I agree with j2tha...I'm in the above statement. My husband is larger than average, and while a regular condom will go on his penis, it most definitely isn't comfortable for him. There is definitely a "gap" from base to condom ring which in my opinion is just asking for it to fall off inside some woman. The larger condoms are longer and the ring doesn't seem as tight as does a regular condom.
  8. This is a huge fantasy for me, but it'll have to stay a fantasy. My hubby will never have any kind of sex with another man, and I'd never push the issue because it's not something he's comfortable with. He knows it's something I would love to see, so perhaps someday it'll happen, but it has to happen because HE wants it to happen. Still, the fantasy that plays in my head is REALLY HOT!
  9. I just want to say that personally a lot of questions I have wanted to ask in the past have already been asked and I'm wary of sounding repetitive. However...I love des1re06's suggestion to add a "tell us about your weekend" section. What a great idea. I don't know if it's possible or even something that everyone would like.....but it's a really good idea. I know I'd post there. You could read about steamy encounters, not so steamy encounters, funny stories and just tid bits on peoples lives. Would be a great way to see what everyone was up to.
  10. There are so many red flags here that it worries me. The one thing that keeps popping up in my head is.....is there a possibility that he's gay? I don't mean to say that he is....but why hide it if you say you would love the opportunity to share this with him? I could be WAY off course here, but obviously somethings going on that's deeper than just him thinking he'll scare off potential couples. And I agree....I think the more important issue is his cheating.
  11. Oh wow.....there is sooo much good advice here. While I agree with everyone, I especially liked what socolais said about her being assertive (which she is) and him not saying much throughout the night. Perhaps he was "taken for a ride", and let her know once they were back together. Who knows. I did email her earlier today to let her know that we had a good time, but didn't mention anything about that evening. I just read her response...some small chit chat, then some mention at the bottom wondering if I was upset with her. Hmmmm. I haven't emailed her back yet. This is just all so strange. It was soooo easy when all hubby and I did was threesomes. It's so much harder when you have to make four people happy. Wouldn't life be soooo much easier if everyone just said what they meant and meant what they said?
  12. We finally did it!!! After only having threesomes in the past, hubby and I finally had our first foursome! We were with another couple this weekend, and while it was great, it ended strangely. Let me explain and perhaps I can get some feedback as to why this could've happened. Hubby and I were at a party, drinking, laughing, having a good time. Towards the end of the night, there was another couple with whom we're friends (or rather, friendly aquaintances) but we don't hang out with them on a regular basis, nor do we live anywhere near them. The four of us proceeded to our home for an "afterparty" and neither of them know anything about our lifestyle. We had no intention of trying to seduce them, but merely enjoyed their company. We weren't drunk, but had had a few. We didn't drink once at home. Instead, the other woman suggested we play poker, which soon turned into strip poker. Things were fun and light and suddenly she mentioned she wanted to have an orgy. We just kind of laughed it off. She realized we have a jacuzzi tub and asked if we could all get in. Seeing as how we're naked anyways, I thought why not. Could be fun. Well, it was fun. We were all laughing, having a good time, naked in the tub but nothing serious was happening. I thought it'd end there....but she kept mentioning she wanted an orgy and we kept laughing about it..not knowing if she was serious or not. Of course, the two of us girls ended up kissing on a dare I think...it just went from there. We all got out of the tub, hubby and I took a few moments to ourselves to discuss things and we were fine with how the evening was going. We thought giving them a few min would give them time to change their mind. They weren't ready to quit yet, though. WE all piled on the bed, and I asked them three times were they sure they wanted to continue. They assured us they did. SO......we did. It was fun!!! Until.....Somewhere in the middle of things, somehow, things just seemed to get quiet and still. I don't know how to explain it, but it was just a feeling I got that something wasn't quite right. I asked them if everything was fine. Yes, they said. I asked the woman if she was okay. She said she was having fun. It went on for a few more min and then when we switched back to our own partners, they suddenly got up, got their clothes and went into the next room for bed. They didn't say anything to us then, and barely said goodbye in the morning. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to get everything out right. So.....needless to say, this left us both baffled. I thought we did everything right and I thought we'd made sure they were okay and comfortable the entire night. I don't know what went wrong...any ideas? I just emailed the other woman, but haven't heard back from her yet. I'm dying to know if it was something we did?! Do you guys see anything in that story that was a mistake that I'm just not seeing? PS...if I can make things more clear by explaining something in more detail, please let me know
  13. Personally I agree with the others above and I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but yeah, bigger is only better if it doesn't hurt. Personally, I don't care for anal, but my hubby loves it. I've done it in the past and liked it, but the guy wasn't very well endowed so it didn't hurt at all. My hubby is very well endowed, and I just can't get past the pain whenever we try. So we've come to a compromise. He doesn't get offended when I turn him down (of course he doesn't ask anymore) because he knows it's painful for me. However, he gets the pleasure of anal sex with a gal we play with, so we both win. I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I don't think your wife is insulting you intentionally....you're just too big for her. Which is quite a compliment in itself, isn't it? tehee!
  14. I love the wrist bands! 7946437....I never thought of that before. Hmmm...would be interesting to have a few, though where I live no one would ever know what it meant.
  15. I agree with you that the typical glib answers can sometimes feel like you're putting down your partner...and I would never insult my husband ever. However, what I meant was there must be something you can say that will get your point across without going into detail and also letting people know they are being intrusive. I think it gets rather tedious when you have to answer the same nosy questions all the time, so we have a particular response we always say and it lets people know that we aren't going to answer beyond that. I don't really know what you could say...but perhaps something simple and along the lines of "well, we're pretty happy just the way we are, but thanks for caring enough to ask," and leave it at that. In any case...I hope you find the answers you're looking for. I'm sure someone will come along and write a better response and I'll read it and go..."YES..that's exactly what I meant!" haha. Good luck
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