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getnit2gethr

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  • Content Count

    140
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About getnit2gethr

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Male
  • Location
    Toledo, OH
  • Interests
    We both like the outdoors and the bars!
  • Occupation
    Science/Business
  • Swinging Experience
    1 yr

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    GettinIt2gether
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Wild Walker's
  1. I was out drinking with a good friend and I must have said something I shouldn't have because he said, "you want to be a swinger, don't you"? I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem with me swinging but I'm not allowed to tell him. I simply replied by saying, "that would be fun"! That was the last I heard about it from him (months ago). He has definitely witnessed some slightly odd behavior on our part over time. He's a very intuitive person and I suspect he might know we're swingers. I also suspect he might know that I can't say anything (maybe). That would explain why he doesn't ask anymore. I can only think of one person I talk to regularly who would say something negative about swinging if the subject were to come up. We'll try to make sure that that doesn't happen. My wife and another drinking buddy of mine were approached not too long ago in a vanilla setting by a guy who said he seen them at some lifestyle events before, lol. My friend was dumbfounded and my wife later had a private conversation with the "idiot" informing him that that wasn't cool. I guess it's all forgotten now. I keep predicting to my wife that someday we won't care who knows anymore. We'll see.
  2. My wife and I have never tried a seperate room swap. I would have no problems with it as long as she didn't either. I'd even prefer it since I have been known to get a little performance anxiety in front of other men sometimes. There just isn't a good reason why I wouldn't do it. I disregard the possibility of something bad happening because we will presumably feel somewhat comfortable with a couple before we attempt a seperate room swap. Yea they could still turn out to be psycho but so could anyone else we associate with in life. I'm the type that has to be convinced to be afraid of anything and I can be hard to convince. Also, watching my wife get pounded does nothing for me. Yea, I'm happy for her if she's having a good time but I'm generally a happy person to begin with. I don't have to watch my wife get laid to be happy. So that's me. I have no reason other than my wife's wishes and a willing couple not to try a seperate room swap.
  3. From reading the boards it seems that every male swinger enjoys watching his wife have sex with other men. That part of swinging does nothing for me. Am I alone?
  4. I think it's a good thing that you want to tell her how you feel. It really isn't swinging if it's cheating so she will need to be onboard with you. Your idea isn't rediculous either. I have spoken with a couple of ladies in the lifestyle who swing with an older married man. I guess his wife has some kind of problem and is supportive of it. Not unlike you. You've spent 30 years with her. You should know better than anyone how best to talk about it. Has this subject ever come up before? How do you think she will react?
  5. Never thought I'd see that question on a swingers board. I guess you're either thinking about it or just here to bash us. I'll assume you're thinking about it. Ask youself what keeps you from letting a man fuck your wife. Jeleousy? Insecurity? Fear? Then ask yourself if it is rational to feel that way. Hope this helps.
  6. In reading this I wonder what exactly is self esteem and how does one determine when someone has or lacks it. Here's what Wikipedis says: [in psychology, self-esteem or self-worth includes a person's subjective appraisal of himself or herself as intrinsically positive or negative to some degree. Self-esteem involves both self-relevant beliefs (e.g., "I am competent/incompetent") and associated self-relevant emotions (e.g., triumph/despair, pride/shame). It also finds expression in behavior (e.g., assertiveness/timorousness, confidence/caution). In addition, self-esteem can be construed as an enduring personality characteristic (trait self-esteem) or as a temporary psychological condition (state self-esteem). Finally, self-esteem can be specific to a particular dimension (e.g., "I believe I am a good writer, and feel proud of that in particular") or global in extent (e.g., "I believe I am a good person, and feel proud of myself in general").] So if a person expresses assertiveness/timorousness or confidence/caution does this mean they have high/low self-esteem? Maybe, or maybe just in some particular dimension, or maybe they are just learning about the particular dimension. Sorry, but IMO your hypothesis is ridiculous in that it cannot be tested. Here's another ridiculous hypothesis. People become swingers because they all have tremendously high self esteem but get themselves into trouble telling vanillas they want sex with them.
  7. We are wondering about that too. Everyone seems to like Hedonism. Desire? Anyone?
  8. I havn't posted anything in a long time and I'm in the mood so for what it's worth it sounds like I almost have your situation role reversed. One difference is that she is almost keeping up with me now that I am 40. When we were younger she wasn't even close. We hadn't started swinging yet so I just masturbated relentlessly. We decided to start swinging a little over a year ago and I had to do all the work. We've now been to over a dozen events and she is now starting to get more involved, but I still do most of the work. I think it's a combination between her getting comfortable and having the time. She stays very busy. It slows us down a lot though. After I find someone interested it takes a week or so before I can get her to check them out. Often we just lose them. Luckily she likes the events. I think they may be helping her to gain confidence in communicating with people in the lifestyle. My next step is to try and get her some more time, but that's a personal matter. I really don't know your whole situation so I can't give you advice but hopefully you will get something out of this. Good luck.
  9. We're open about it too but not around vanilla friends.
  10. I got in an argument with a friend about that years ago. It still bothers me. I argued that sex was 90% psychological. He maintained that sex was purely physical. I might have been willing to concede a few percentage points but I definitely would have been out of commission for the rest of the night had I been in your shoes.
  11. 1. As far as pickyness goes, you'll find all varieties of couples in the lifestyle. For us, I guess we're both a little picky. She's definitely moodier though . 2. What you should do depends entirely on you two. I agree with sexyshelby that you need to talk it out. 3. Spend a few minutes and read some of the situational help posts about nervousness. I think you'll discover that it's almost a requirement at first.
  12. FYI, the date last night went ok. We'll try and see them again sometime. Also got a rain check from the other couple. Life is good. Perhaps jimnjan's streak of bad luck had something to do with single males? Not sure.
  13. My logic is that when you're standing there with only one free hand, it's pretty difficult to tear off a piece to wipe my with if it's under. Gotta be over for me too.
  14. This hasn't been the usual situation for us and as of right now we still haven't met any of them. The weekend is looking up though .
  15. I don't believe it. Just checked my email and another couple wants dinner tonight. Now I have to turn someone down. I hate that! Oh well, first come first serve I guess. Now I'm gonna have to figure out how to keep them from thinking we're just toying with them .
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